tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post3110680157499904785..comments2024-03-22T03:19:38.110-04:00Comments on Forever In Hell: Rapture Fiction lulzPersonalFailurehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03034292023591747601noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-8455266857737272692010-10-24T06:18:33.021-04:002010-10-24T06:18:33.021-04:00ummmmm.... actually it's not a "rapture&q...ummmmm.... actually it's not a "rapture" novel. No disappearing of people in my book just so the non-believers get left behind to deal with a load bad stuff. Kirk Cameron does not play the role in the movie adaptation. It is however a bit allegorical. No point in denying that, as it is pretty obvious. And I'm not sure I like the term "christian fantasy." I think perhaps christian inspired fantasy is more fitting. I'm not exactly staying true to the gospel here, just drawing some inspiration. If I said this was the gospel of Christ I'd likely be labeled a heretic or something. Drayan were in Star Trek? No kidding? Man... I love ST but I knew there was a reason I didn't like Voyager. Well now I know and I suddenly hate what I thought was a clever name. Go figure.<br /><br />The Haira'hem are not all bad. There are many good Haira'hem. Not planning in having one join the party. But you never know.<br /><br />And excuse me for a few typos here and there. I'm a human being, not a computer. Geeze. Ya'll are tough over here.<br /><br />And yes... I like ellipses. <br /><br />Ok, all that being said, yes I am a christian. But I'm not going to shove my beliefs down your throats either. That's not my way. And I have to say one more thing... To the guy with the neo nazi comment. I'm German Jew by blood, so no supreme race in my story. Racists kinda tick me off. Gotta love those early assumptions, right?Anthony Rosenthalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13678702528586584396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-26900218466369919372010-09-08T23:12:28.899-04:002010-09-08T23:12:28.899-04:00Oh bleepity bleepity bleep bleep!
I made the mist...Oh bleepity bleepity bleep bleep!<br /><br />I made the mistake of going over there and reading some more of that drek. PF didn't quote the worst of it by half.<br /><br />The prologue provides us with one or two segments of beautiful prose:<br /><br />Satan/Xandrous's first words: <b>"SON OF THE ONE GOD!!!" of the one god... the one god...one god... he echoed.</b><br /><br />Echo is not a verb. I'm imagining this guy repeating himself over and over, lowering the volume each time.<br /><br />Also, use of multiple exclamation marks needs a freaking <i>reason</i>.<br /><br />Paragraph three: <b>Xandrous turned toward the massive gathering of drayan'os behind him, all as black as himself, devoid of all color... almost as though they sucked in and swallowed all light, and he spread his arms wide as if to take them all in, chuckled, and roared... his echoes seemed to last forever, loud enough to escape the underworld and perhaps reach the ears of the mortal world... perhaps to reach the the ears of the heavens as well.</b><br /><br />No, I haven't cut anything out. Those ellipses are in the original. And how do you turn toward something behind you?<br /><br />Jesus/Jandrous talking to Yahweh/Unamed Deity: <b>Raising his head to look upon his father with eyes that appeared full of joy, sadness, and fierceness together,</b><br /><br />Jesus is schitsophrenic, apparently. And has daddy issues.<br /><br />Later on, immediately after PF's last quote above: <b>... given you money, food, and warmer clothes... and you should have an occasional bed for the night."<br /><br />"WAIT!!!" Kendrick Exclaimed.</b><br /><br />Argh! Don't scream at me, Kenny! The travel logistics must have really got the poor kid excited for an outburst like that.<br /><br /><i>"And then you will travel southwest by northeast for seventy-three point two-four miles-"<br />"YES!!! OH JANDROUS YES!!! MORE!!! GIVE ME MORE, DONNAGAN!!! MOOOORRRE!!!"</i><br /><br />(sorry)<br /><br />I also note that Kendrick gets the same number of exclamation marks as Satan. Foreshadowing? No wait, that would imply some actual thought was going into this. Nevermind.<br /><br />And then there's this: <b> The blast of the trumpet carried out before him. Planets and stars exploded or moved from their orbits at the power of the sound wave. Great space fairing rocks floating in the weightlessness of space were blasted to nothingness. Some stars merely puffed out like a candle in the wind, as the sound wave carried out toward the little blue planet so far away.</b><br /><br />If you're being metaphorical again, don't describe the call to war, <i>twice</i>, as a sound wave in space. Remember: in space, no-one can hear you scream at the godawful prose.Quasarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398018171200335379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-5733588293474517672010-09-08T10:48:55.527-04:002010-09-08T10:48:55.527-04:00@ Quasar - "Overelaborated travel logistics. ...@ Quasar - "Overelaborated travel logistics. In a rapture novel. Whoa, deja vu."<br /><br />I came *this* close to losing another keyboard.Michael Mockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06233321050691782148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-65408045111688405452010-09-08T00:27:16.636-04:002010-09-08T00:27:16.636-04:00PS: Overelaborated travel logistics. In a rapture ...PS: Overelaborated travel logistics. In a rapture novel. Whoa, deja vu.Quasarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398018171200335379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-15956304315357829162010-09-07T18:15:26.839-04:002010-09-07T18:15:26.839-04:00Quasars Rules of Writing
Rule One: if you're ...Quasars Rules of Writing<br /><br />Rule One: if you're a modern person living in a modern society, counting the number of "summers" rather than simply specifying how old a character is forbidden. Under pain of being fed to rabid penguins.<br /><br />Rule Two: Marty Stu authors will be shot on sight. With a water pistol. Filled with a mix of capsicum spray, hydrochloric acid and flesh-eating bacteria.<br /><br />Rule Three: Blonde hair and blue eyes is all well and good, but when they're your main characters only defining features you had damn well better be a neo-nazi. Otherwise, be prepared to be locked in a small glass room with a bunch of mimes for the next three years.<br /><br />Rule Four: Informing the reader of favorable attributes should be done in such a way that it doesn't sound like you have a mini-orgasm every time you imagine the character. Unfavorable attributes, for example suicidal overdependance on a military environment, should not be described as if it was further proof of your characters awesomeness: eg. "always willing to do his duty".<br /><br />Rule Five: Naming conventions for geographical locations should be established. Randomly joining two nouns together doesn't count, unless you want to find both nouns applied to your body in a overly creative manner. (I'm not certain how this applies to weaver, but axe speaks for itself. And as for Griffen-wood, well I'm not sure how we're going to find a male griffen but I'm up for it if you guys are...)<br /><br />Rule Six: Comma's should be use responsably. In the event that they are not, one ball bearing will be dropped on your head for every unecessary instance of one. From orbit.<br /><br />Rule Seven: If an enemy is no match for you, then they're no damn match for you. Contradictions of this nature will be punishable by spork.<br /><br />Rule Eight: Elves. No. Just No. Under pain of not being Tolkein and having elves in your story (widely considered to be punishment enough).<br /><br />And that's only from the first two quotes. Feel free to add more rules to the list, guys!Quasarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398018171200335379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-62700368079384576692010-09-07T16:24:09.998-04:002010-09-07T16:24:09.998-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.DMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389651479904502758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-83398565888657416412010-09-07T14:06:32.037-04:002010-09-07T14:06:32.037-04:00@ PF - "All women were wives or tavern wenche...@ PF - "All women were wives or tavern wenches." <br /><br />Or witches. Don't forget about the witches.<br /><br />Oh, and I forgot - the "Haira'hem"? Aiel with swords. (Which doesn't actually contradict your point, since the Aiel were more or less Fremen anyway.) $5 says a "good" Haira'hem joins the party at some point.<br /><br />I dunno. I write a lot of fantasy - or I used to, before I had small children to utterly devour my free time - and things like this make me want to choose a different genre.Michael Mockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06233321050691782148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-6891764435878060412010-09-07T12:38:23.187-04:002010-09-07T12:38:23.187-04:00Michael: all men everywhere prior to the Industria...Michael: all men everywhere prior to the Industrial Revolution were soldiers or blacksmiths. All women were wives or tavern wenches.<br /><br />That's to say nothing of the full 25% of Europe that were secretly princes and princesses being raised to be blacksmiths or wenches.PersonalFailurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03034292023591747601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-83774180192703674252010-09-07T12:27:26.047-04:002010-09-07T12:27:26.047-04:00Also, what is it with all the blacksmiths? I mean,...Also, what is it with all the blacksmiths? I mean, is that the only medieval trade that people know about? Can we please, once, have a character who's left his job as an apprentice farrier, or a shoemaker, or thatcher, or something?Michael Mockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06233321050691782148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-3350647767128856382010-09-07T12:23:41.949-04:002010-09-07T12:23:41.949-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.DMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11389651479904502758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-53333247434092401562010-09-07T10:37:26.631-04:002010-09-07T10:37:26.631-04:00Unfortunately, if that guy keeps at it, it is alwa...Unfortunately, if that guy keeps at it, it is always possible that some Christian publishing house could pick him up. Some of them have extremely low standards for writing. I have relatives that know I like science fiction & fantasy, and who have sent me Christian-themed books of those types. Most have been amazingly bad in every respect. So he might have a shot at getting published.UNRRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17093711439992855042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-10207584162158445752010-09-07T09:58:56.428-04:002010-09-07T09:58:56.428-04:00There is a reason nobody's seen my fantasy fic...There is a reason nobody's seen my fantasy fic.PersonalFailurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03034292023591747601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-39758727432533677422010-09-07T09:51:46.442-04:002010-09-07T09:51:46.442-04:00Writing good fantasy fiction is hard. That's p...Writing good fantasy fiction is hard. That's pretty bad, but I give him credit for having the nerve to expose his efforts to the public. I've made a couple of attempts in that vein in the past, cringed when I read what I had written, and then erased it.UNRRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17093711439992855042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-74921386033520401212010-09-07T09:35:00.635-04:002010-09-07T09:35:00.635-04:00I glanced at Anthony David Rosenthal's webpage...I glanced at Anthony David Rosenthal's webpage. And had a hard time getting past this:<br /><br />"and it's characters." <br /><br />I guess he missed class when grammar, spelling and syntax were discussed.<br /><br />What dreck.jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04294710640794526679noreply@blogger.com