tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post464831707176548181..comments2024-03-22T03:19:38.110-04:00Comments on Forever In Hell: Roissy Is a Rude MofoPersonalFailurehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03034292023591747601noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-6413919308172532942018-06-07T18:08:11.773-04:002018-06-07T18:08:11.773-04:00You seem savvy, sassy.
How I'd love to meet yo...You seem savvy, sassy.<br />How I'd love to meet you<br />Upstairs for a BIG-OL-BEER.<br />Gotta lotta tok about.<br />Wannum?-blessed b9, Catalyst4Christhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13650964620664544661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-4623937788672630422018-04-25T14:35:14.359-04:002018-04-25T14:35:14.359-04:00I dont know how
to point-out reality
any better, d...I dont know how<br />to point-out reality<br />any better, doll.<br />I. Love. You.<br />I wanna VitSee<br />yoo again Upstairs.<br />Baaaaaaaad.<br />Why?<br />Coming to my BIG-ol,<br />John Belushi, party-hardy<br />in Seventh-Heaven ..??<br />Why?<br />The world passes away,<br />we cannot stay,<br />even if we pay trillions<br />which nobody has anyway.<br />So, gain altitude, dude,<br />never attitude.<br />God bless your indelible soul.-blessed b9, Catalyst4Christhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13650964620664544661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-25386757486558475542018-04-25T14:27:56.750-04:002018-04-25T14:27:56.750-04:00Only 2 eternities left
after you die, dear...
and ...Only 2 eternities left<br />after you die, dear...<br />and 1 of em aint too cool.<br />And Im an NDE...<br />thus, my nomenclature.<br />Make Your Choice -SAW -blessed b9, Catalyst4Christhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13650964620664544661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-86795485897752213412011-05-21T09:52:06.696-04:002011-05-21T09:52:06.696-04:00I know I'm late to the party, but Geds, if you...I know I'm late to the party, but Geds, if you happen to be back here ever again: <br /><br /><i>From a woman's perspective it's this: women were significantly more interested in you because a)following a woman around like a puppy dog saying, "please love me", comes across as needy. It's too much pressure if a woman feels ultimately responsible for your happiness. b) what you saw as not giving a crap ultimately gives women space to be attracted to you AND makes it appear you have a life outside of her. That's what makes you look like more fun. A lot of women don't want to be joined at the hip. c) While a man shouldn't be the one doing all the pursuing, if you don't give a woman the time of day, a woman worth having isn't needy enough to hang around to beg you to spend time with her either. </i><br /><br />YES! This, a thousand times over. And it works for all genders: I drove guys off by being too clingy and puppyish, too, but when I got to a point of not caring so much, apparently I became intriguing.<br /><br />And re: women enjoying a challenge: mmmmaybe? I've certainly gotten all fired up when a guy I was interested in seemed maybe-kind-of interested back but didn't actually pursue me. But if a guy didn't pay any attention to me at all? Meh. I don't need that.<br /><br />And if I knew two equally attractive and interesting men, one of whom was infuriatingly vague in his intentions and the other of whom said "I have so much fun talking to you! Would you like to go for coffee sometime?" I would forget about the first guy entirely and enthusiastically go out with guy #2.<br /><br />So to sum up: there's a range of behaviours that makes me want to pursue someone. That range goes from "politely and openly expresses interest" to "he flirts with me but then he goes off and talks to other people and never even looks over, WTF?" And - all else being equal - I very much prefer the former. I'm thirty-eight fucking years old; I have a low tolerance for drama and games.<br /><br />Feeling like someone literally doesn't know you exist, or feeling like someone's entire happiness hinges on your accepting a date with him, is generally not attractive. I think this is true not just of me but of <i>most</i> emotionally healthy people over 18.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-76850674235516707212011-05-11T10:16:32.184-04:002011-05-11T10:16:32.184-04:00@Geds,
LOL! That's not exactly what I had in...@Geds,<br /><br />LOL! That's not exactly what I had in mind, but you can check it out for yourself. It's up now. I don't think I used any of the parts that one would have to make a humongous leap to follow, but you never know. :)Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17313118060838041133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-19578004894776968322011-05-11T09:53:23.538-04:002011-05-11T09:53:23.538-04:00Do ya'll mind if I use part of the exchange he...<i>Do ya'll mind if I use part of the exchange here in the comments in a post for my blog?</i><br /><br />Um, it kinda depends. I said a lot of things in this conversation that were far more obfuscatory than I'd intended.<br /><br />So, hey, if you're writing a post about the dangers of stringing somewhat connected thoughts together and assuming everyone else will make the same logical leaps you do, have at...<br /><br /><i>I like that you lose points if your IQ is too high.</i><br /><br />Yeah. That made me laugh. "Be smart enough to tie your own shoe laces, but not that much smarter..."Gedshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047239425466517786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-80311590550691717622011-05-11T09:50:10.830-04:002011-05-11T09:50:10.830-04:00-6 Almost all of my positive points were because ...-6 Almost all of my positive points were because of physical attributes I can't change.<br /><br />I like that you lose points if your IQ is too high.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-35474599049756093912011-05-11T08:36:47.834-04:002011-05-11T08:36:47.834-04:00@Geds & PersonalFailure,
Do ya'll mind if...@Geds & PersonalFailure,<br /><br />Do ya'll mind if I use part of the exchange here in the comments in a post for my blog?Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17313118060838041133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-13020601830357714592011-05-11T03:54:47.844-04:002011-05-11T03:54:47.844-04:00depizan
i think what you missed in what i said w...depizan <br /><br />i think what you missed in what i said was that it works for BOTH genders, as a way to attract people [you often don't want to attract]<br /><br />the women i know who are "chased" the most AREN'T the most beautiful or social or fashionable - they are "cute" and "polite" and wear things that flatter THEM - and a bit "apart" from it all.<br /><br />i tell you - once i decided i didn't CARE about having a boyfriend, and stopped actively looking, i was veritably innudated! seriously - a guy would flirt with me, i'd MILDLY flirt back [polite level] and disengage - and suddenly said guy couldn't seem to leave me alone. <br /><br />it was actually sort of creepy, really.<br /><br />but i'm sort of mid-social, mid-confident [although i apparantly come off as MUCH more confident than i feel. i think because when i'm in public, i have a THING that i'm doing - whether it's karaoke or was dancing or fire-play or whatever, so i kind of focus on what i'm doing and that's my MAIN THING - talking to people is fun, and i do it, but i'm not there to talk to people, i'm there to sing or whatever. so this somehow translates into "really laid back and confident". somehow]denelianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08083149213773118359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-1278750142817598062011-05-11T02:30:24.130-04:002011-05-11T02:30:24.130-04:00Sorry, but I must disagree here. I don't see ...Sorry, but I must disagree here. I don't see that the hyphen in "fatty-fucking" is necessary. Context will tell you whether "fatty" is adverbial or nominative. Besides, James Joyce never used hyphens this way, and it's always fun to try to figure out what he meant.<br /><br />Otherwise, yes I said yes I will yes.zilchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01695741977946935771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-33672106514257883772011-05-11T00:44:35.841-04:002011-05-11T00:44:35.841-04:00Public speaking is like batman: given enough prepe...<i>Public speaking is like batman: given enough preperation there's no way you can fail.</i><br /><br />I've been known to do it extemporaneously. I'm actually only now beginning to learn the fine art of preparation, as I've learned the hard way that it's possible to really embarrass yourself if you don't.Gedshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047239425466517786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-28366853152944417152011-05-10T23:50:38.928-04:002011-05-10T23:50:38.928-04:00Hmm... I share Geds affinity for public speaking: ...Hmm... I share Geds affinity for public speaking: heck, I once <i>volunteered</i> to give a public speech (for a first-year university group-assignment on sustainable energy) <i>when I didn't have to</i>. Seriously, we weren't offered better grades for it or anything, and my group members refused to join me, but since I'd done 90% of the work and was interested in the subject matter I figured "what the hell". Public speaking is like batman: given enough preperation there's no way you can fail.Quasarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398018171200335379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-85143756354965813762011-05-10T22:44:04.689-04:002011-05-10T22:44:04.689-04:00Where is "Erratic Confidence, Erratic Sociabi...Where is "Erratic Confidence, Erratic Sociability" and what is my adjective? I think it might be "Twitchy."<br /><br />And for the record, I agree that it's definitely not a gendered thing, the whole, "what? is the chase over? kthxbai!" thing. At least if my younger self was any indication.Cynical Nymphhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12601814894895238102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-54182087637064651642011-05-10T22:21:30.553-04:002011-05-10T22:21:30.553-04:00My only comment to Geds is: I wish I knew how that...<i>My only comment to Geds is: I wish I knew how that works for you.</i><br /><br />I do, too. Believe me, if I could bottle this shit and sell it, I would.<br /><br /><i>Aloof. Chooses not to speak much, but talks smoothly and confidently when approached. Comes across as self-absorbed.</i><br /><br />Sounds about right. Weirdly, I'm the sort of person who is actually far, far more comfortable (and prefer) engaging in public speaking than figuring out how to do the small talk at parties thing. Seeing as how most people fear public speaking more than death, that makes me statistically anomalous.<br /><br />But, by the same token, when I'm doing the public speaking thing, I get to separate myself from everyone else and I get to talk about whatever the hell I want. I can't think of a better definition of aloof.Gedshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047239425466517786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-57919432094302194172011-05-10T21:15:11.621-04:002011-05-10T21:15:11.621-04:00Expanding on the subject of "confidence on a ...Expanding on the subject of "confidence on a different scale to sociability" (because I think it's relevant and because I like fleshing out idea's like this), this results in four corners to the axis. I'll provide a stereotypical and slightly-offensive example for each:<br /><br /><b>Low Confidence, Low Sociability</b><br /><br />Shy. Very shy, has trouble talking to others when they attempt it (which is rarely).<br /><br /><b>Low Confidence, High Sociability</b><br /><br />Loud. Gets in your face talking about things you have no interest in, usually awkward to be around.<br /><br /><b>High Confidence, Low Sociability</b><br /><br />Aloof. Chooses not to speak much, but talks smoothly and confidently when approached. Comes across as self-absorbed.<br /><br /><b>High Confidence, High Sociability</b><br /><br />Charismatic. Talks to everyone, organises parties and encourages others to be social. Can be nerve-grating to be around.<br /><br />..........................................<br /><br />So, I think Geds has achieved the Aloof personality type, while I'm closer to the Shy one. Since it's easy to conflate confidence with sociability, a Shy personality trying to be Charismatic will often come across as simply Loud.Quasarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398018171200335379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-82949772038034164912011-05-10T20:52:48.562-04:002011-05-10T20:52:48.562-04:00I was going to do the quiz and type up my own mini...I was going to do the quiz and type up my own mini-fisking, but Joe McKen said this <i>"Oh, Roissy. Vox Day’s got a major hard-on for this guy."</i><br /><br />Okay, that's all I needed to know. Where the hell's the holy water, garlic and five gallon drum of industral grade soap? (the last is for me: it's the only way I can feel clean after going near someone who Vox Day approves of)<br /><br /><i>"... it's the people who talk and joke around with each other who go out to lunch together, not the people who do their work and interact very little with their coworkers..."</i><br /><br />Just want to put my hand up and say "this describes my life". I think I <i>need</i> to find a superextroverted friend who drags me along to social gatherings, but all my friends at the moment are as introverted as I am, if not more. I never go anywhere.<br /><br />On the bright side, that gives me time to work on personal projects despite having a full time job. :)<br /><br /><i>"(It might also be a gender thing. Men who aren't social still get asked out. Women who aren't social don't. I don't know.)"</i><br /><br />Uh, no. No. Really, no. The first part of this (Men who aren't social still get asked out) is definately not true in my experience. But confidence is a difference scale to sociability, so maybe we're measuring different things.<br /><br />My only comment to Geds is: I wish I knew how that works for you. Being quiet and not talking to people or showing emotion just gets me ignored.Quasarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398018171200335379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-14485749998584216952011-05-10T20:40:58.259-04:002011-05-10T20:40:58.259-04:00Meh. I'm more attractive than some, less attr...Meh. I'm more attractive than some, less attractive than others. It's not really an issue, as most of my friends are in some sort of committed relationship with, y'know, not-me.<br /><br />And Texans are weird.<br /><br />Anyway, you probably won't believe this, but I wasn't putting any particular meaning in to the stuff that you're so put off by. It was simply a couple of thematically connected ideas in my mind.<br /><br />All else being equal, people who aren't looking for the path of least resistance are more interested by a potential mate who is a challenge than someone who does the pathetic eager to please thing. People also tend to be more fascinated by and attracted to the mysterious because they tend to pour their own hopes and desires in to that empty vessel. So someone who isn't going out of their way to show interest (which is closer to what I meant than the original phraseology of "wouldn't give the time of day," but I was I was using it in terms of observing another person and thinking, "Wow, she's amazing. But there's no way she'd ever give me the time of day").<br /><br />As to why they aren't paying attention, I don't know. Maybe that person hasn't noticed [the editorial] you. Maybe that person has, but they're trying to play it cool. Maybe you're in a place where you think meeting potential mates is in the script but they don't. I don't know.<br /><br />But you're reading way more in to it than I was putting there. If you're going to continue to do so, feel free, but I have no urge to discuss this anymore.Gedshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047239425466517786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-29086589182405701032011-05-10T19:17:21.337-04:002011-05-10T19:17:21.337-04:00It might be that you don't act like an anti-so...It might be that you don't act like an anti-social raging asshole (judging from our perfectly civil debate) and the disconnect between your disclaimer and how you actually act is what's intriguing people. It might also be that you're attractive and the fact that you don't feel the usual pressure to be accepted actually made you a more social person.<br /><br />It might be that people in Texas are weird.<br /><br />(It might also be a gender thing. Men who aren't social still get asked out. Women who aren't social don't. I don't know.)<br /><br />I am still rather curious as to what you thought you were describing with those phrases, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-86055014603440296542011-05-10T19:04:47.401-04:002011-05-10T19:04:47.401-04:00Though, frankly, I still have a ton of trouble bel...<i>Though, frankly, I still have a ton of trouble believing that there is a reality in which the non-social people get invited to more social activities than the social people. Take my work place - it's the people who talk and joke around with each other who go out to lunch together, not the people who do their work and interact very little with their coworkers.</i><br /><br />That's your life, then. I moved from Chicago to Dallas in January of last year with one goal and one goal only: to get the fuck out of Texas as soon as possible. I had no intention of setting down roots or doing anything that would even remotely invite sentimentality.<br /><br />I'd always been desperate for the approval and acceptance of others before. When I came down here I was finally free to not give a fuck. And you know what? For some reason I have more friends here than I had in Chicago. Most crazy shit involving women not leaving me alone that I've experienced has come since I moved. I don't know why. I'm anti-social at best, a raging asshole at worst, my favorite facial expression is a scowl, and when I meet new people I pretty much offer a boilerplate disclaimer to that effect.<br /><br />Yet, again, I have a more active social life here than I did in Chicago. So there you go.Gedshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047239425466517786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-19407398763354190842011-05-10T18:52:33.889-04:002011-05-10T18:52:33.889-04:00Nope, doesn't involve the Game at all. Words ...Nope, doesn't involve the Game at all. Words mean things. You described a person who "won't stop to give you the time of day " and "doesn't pay attention to you."<br /><br />What did you <em>mean</em>? The most positive spin I can possibly put on those phrases is that of someone completely engrossed in their work or a book or whatever, who is literally paying attention to no one. Obviously "self absorbed jackass" would fit as well, though is less flattering. What flattering and desirable reason did you see for this theoretical person who is oblivious to the world around them?<br /><br />Though, frankly, I still have a ton of trouble believing that there is a reality in which the non-social people get invited to more social activities than the social people. Take my work place - it's the people who talk and joke around with each other who go out to lunch together, not the people who do their work and interact very little with their coworkers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-79223972798405129432011-05-10T18:33:37.031-04:002011-05-10T18:33:37.031-04:00Under what circumstances in real life is a jackass...<i>Under what circumstances in real life is a jackass who ignores people going to be "far more mysterious, far more interesting and, therefore, far more attractive" than someone who doesn't act like a self absorbed jerk?</i><br /><br />Ah, see, here's the problem: you inserted the part about self-absorbed jackass in to your own narrative of what I said.<br /><br />My actual quote was this: <i>And, of course, if that person doesn't pay attention to you then that makes them seem far more mysterious, far more interesting and, therefore, far more attractive.</i><br /><br />I gave no reason why that person wouldn't pay attention. I can understand how in context it would seem like I'm drawing a straight line to guys playing "The Game," but I'm not. Literally all I was saying was that someone you know nothing about is more mysterious and we tend to pour our own hopes, dreams, and interests in to empty vessels. The applied lesson of that, then, is don't find someone, follow them around, and tell them everything about your life. Get them to try to learn about you.<br /><br />Again, it didn't occur to me until later that I am in the key demo that these jackasses target with their shenanigans, so I intrinsically understand what they are saying, why it makes a certain amount of sense, and how it's possible to translate that into useful lessons that guys really should learn but not all do. So I put my rebuttal together from the wrong direction.<br /><br />But, whatever.Gedshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047239425466517786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-91518517043391237212011-05-10T18:20:08.112-04:002011-05-10T18:20:08.112-04:001. Don't be desperate.
2. Don't do all th...<em>1. Don't be desperate.<br /><br />2. Don't do all the work.</em><br /><br />I completely agree with that. That isn't what you said the first time 'round. What I quoted in my first response to you was what I take issue with. It shows up all the time in romantic fiction, but I can't even visualize it in real life, because, well, it doesn't actually make any sense.<br /><br />Under what circumstances <em>in real life</em> is a jackass who ignores people going to be "far more mysterious, far more interesting and, therefore, far more attractive" than someone who doesn't act like a self absorbed jerk? (Sure, it worked in <em>Twilight</em>, but that doesn't make <em>Twilight</em> a documentary or a recipe for a healthy relationship.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-25654928380466192052011-05-10T18:02:11.107-04:002011-05-10T18:02:11.107-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17313118060838041133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-85064535505644338352011-05-10T17:59:56.045-04:002011-05-10T17:59:56.045-04:00Also, according to your theory of how it works, pe...<i>Also, according to your theory of how it works, people ought to be throwing themselves at you.</i><br /><br />That doesn't follow logically from what I said at all. I offered four premises:<br /><br />1. People don't find desperation attractive.<br /><br />2. People like a challenge.<br /><br />3. Societal norms place men in the active and women in the passive role when searching for mates/sex partners/whatever.<br /><br />4. Guys avoid premise 1, put women in the position to engage with premise number 2, and actively switch premise 3 around can create a situation where they seem more desirable through inactivity. The guys who play "The Game" are simply doing this, but for all the wrong reasons. But just because "The Game" is a load of horrid, misogynistic bullshit that doesn't mean there isn't a valid underlying insight in to human psychology and gender norms at play.<br /><br />But, to answer your question, yes, actually. It's only happened a couple times so all I have is anecdote and not data, but I can think of four times in the past three years where I showed a small amount of interest in a woman, then tried to distance myself and regretted the entire experience because said woman proceeded to not leave me alone. Considering that I have been on, like, nine or ten dates and haven't spent a lot of time actively seeking relationship-y stuff since May of 2008, that's interesting, to say the least. Whether they would have actively and annoyingly pursued anybody who happened to show interest is open for debate (consider that I attempted to distance myself from two of them because I immediately got the whiff of desperation).<br /><br />Of course, that then hits upon a corollary premise:<br /><br />5. Guys who play "The Game" are actively seeking someone who will simply sleep with them and can then be discarded.<br /><br />So, as D'Ma points out, you're not likely to find women worth keeping around this way. It's not a way to create anything long-term, but if your goal is to treat someone as a piece of meat for your own selfish ends, then it's not a problem.<br /><br />But, again, my original point wasn't that they were on to something valid in the whole cloth. My original point is that "The Game," in my observation, is based on valid perceptions of how people operate on a basic level. Taking it too far isn't a good idea, but there are two basic and workable lessons that can be drawn and acted upon without being an asshole:<br /><br />1. Don't be desperate.<br /><br />2. Don't do all the work.<br /><br />The other thing is this: "The Game" isn't aimed at guys who have never had a hard time meeting women. It's aimed at guys, well, like me, who couldn't get dates in high school and were desperately uncool. Guys like me needed to hear those two bullet points above because they (we) were often desperate and pathetically eager to please and holy crap who wants to be around someone like that?Gedshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047239425466517786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-58253519233009584962011-05-10T17:47:54.219-04:002011-05-10T17:47:54.219-04:00Full disclosures abound: I was in a marriage that...Full disclosures abound: I was in a marriage that for 20 years was one massive head game after another so I'm pretty much done with them. I <i>hate</i> head games, so if I sense that's what's going on I'm walking. <br /><br />Though I do see what Geds is saying if you keep that sort of thing short-term. I'm just not into games at all. Flirting I like. Games, not so much.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17313118060838041133noreply@blogger.com