tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post7161791951346451773..comments2023-12-21T08:53:00.190-05:00Comments on Forever In Hell: Making an Ass Out of U and MePersonalFailurehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03034292023591747601noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-88784420079341663092010-11-03T01:37:00.304-04:002010-11-03T01:37:00.304-04:00"damnit, Quasar, STOP STEALING MY POSTS!!!!&q...<i>"damnit, Quasar, STOP STEALING MY POSTS!!!!"</i><br /><br />I apologise most heartily. I did not realise that my post would cause offen- <b>WELFARE QUEENS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAH!</b><br /><br />*ahem* I feel dirty.<br /><br />I would have done more than kick the asshole out of the store. Not immediately, though. I'd have used some double-sided tape to plant a cell phone on the undercarriage of his car. Later, after work hours, I could keep an eye on the cars location via the GPS, and it wouldn't be hard to work out where he works and lives. With that established, I could wait until he's off at work before entering the house, and installing a hidden camera in the ceiling above his keyboard. Analysis of the resulting footage would allow me to establish the username and password he uses to access various websites on the internet, which I would then use over the course of a single work-day (any longer and I risk being caught in the act) to systematically empty his bank accounts (donating the proceeds to welfare charities in his name, of course), order hundreds of incriminating, embarrassing or downright insulting things on e-bay, insult and alienate all his friends and family using his identity on social sites, and send threatening e-mails to the FBI, CIA and a bunch of similar organisations. And when the FBI proceeds to search his house, they find a load of stuff I had planted around the place earlier that day: home-made explosives, hundreds of dollars worth of weaponry including several RPG's and one helicopter minigun, several thousand marijuana plants, swastika's everywhere, occult symbology drawn in what turns out to be goat blood, illegal genetic experments trying to cross-breed people with fruit flies, and a DVD copy of the Matrix trilogy with a post-it note saying "the sequels were better than the original."<br /><br />Oh, and then I'd post his personal details to 4chan.Quasarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398018171200335379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-9722476723349766112010-11-02T20:28:37.987-04:002010-11-02T20:28:37.987-04:00damnit, Quasar, STOP STEALING MY POSTS!!!!
excep...damnit, Quasar, STOP STEALING MY POSTS!!!!<br /><br /><br />except, i'd have added - woman's DAMNED lucky that the Real People who ride the bus were all too damned exhausted from working their asses off at jobs-that-don't-pay-anywhere-NEAR-enough to have the energy to beat the FUCK out of her like she deserved.<br /><br /><br />[i was recently called a Welfare Queen for buying Ensure on foodstamps. <i>i can't eat real food</i>. Ensure *IS* my "real food", or at least replaces it. person didn't seem to notice or CARE that i got nothing else, and when i said "i can't eat solid food, it makes me ill" the person told me if i "stopped being a drug addict welfare queen, i WOULD be able to eat."<br />"but... um, i'm NOT a drug addict, i have severe medical issues. REAL ones. and... if i "stopped" "being a welfare queen", i wouldn't be able to eat at ALL. pay attention - i'm in a WHEELCHAIR. now fuck off"<br /><br />the manager had to come and kick this asshole out of the store. [i will NOT repeat the rest of what that person said. will. NOT.]denelianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08083149213773118359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-50147477516778645552010-11-02T17:31:49.553-04:002010-11-02T17:31:49.553-04:00She segued straight into welfare queens, of course...<b>She segued straight into welfare queens, of course. </b><br /><br />I have to ask something, PF. Since "segue" means "to make a transition from one thing to another smoothly and without interruption," and I can accept that nobody interrupted her, but how in the hell does one move smoothly to welfare queens? From <i>anything</i>, even something closely related? I simply can't picture it. The mental image I'm getting is:<br /><br /><i>"Well, actually, the kindle was a present from-"</i><br /><b>"WELFARE QUEENS! BWAHAHAHAHAH!"</b>Quasarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09398018171200335379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-72890616543805919912010-11-02T12:34:51.598-04:002010-11-02T12:34:51.598-04:00PF, you want to talk about loons, just check out e...PF, you want to talk about loons, just check out everyone running in Oklahoma. I am certain Oklahoma is actually going for craziest state in the country.BeamStalkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17772110446629492132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-65993891853432064162010-11-02T11:40:22.516-04:002010-11-02T11:40:22.516-04:00We mostly get pet eating loons out this way.We mostly get pet eating loons out this way.PersonalFailurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03034292023591747601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1334761054277672365.post-66073187159741290812010-11-02T10:54:51.464-04:002010-11-02T10:54:51.464-04:00This makes me ill. Who on earth was this woman op...This makes me ill. Who on earth was this woman opining to? <br /><br />Another great thing about NYC: on our ballot today are candidates from the Rent Is Too Damn High Party. :D Their website is particularly straight to the point, saying in bold yellow, “We apologize for the bad grammar. But... your rent is still too damn high.” You just know they had me at "we apologize for the bad grammar."Cynical Nymphhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12601814894895238102noreply@blogger.com