Apparently, my hair looks like this today.
I truly hate the brutally honest. They're always so proud of their honesty, as if "honest" were the operative word in that phrase.
Hey, I like honesty. I certainly don't like being lied to, and I have enough short term memory loss to make lying an activity I can't reliably engage in, but not all honesty is necessary or desirable. I'm not even talking about theoretical Jews in hypothetical attics, I'm talking about hurting someone's feelings for no benefit.
Look, if a friend of mine modeled a low cut blouse that they were very proud of and then mentioned they were wearing it to a job interview, I would tell them, gently, that while the blouse is fabulous and they look fantastic in it, not appropriate for a job interview. That's beneficial.
There is absolutely no benefit to walking up to someone having a bad hair day and loudly asking "What did you do to your hair?!"
It's curly hair, it's humid, the results can be a bit unpredictable. And large. I don't get days off for bad hair days, I can't wear a baseball hat, so there it is. I left the house telling myself it wasn't that bad, don't worry about. Then I get this:
What did you DO to your hair?!
WHAT did you DO to your hair?!?!?!
WHAT did you DO to your HAIR?!?!??!!?!?
I patted my hair a bit, not that patting is likely to help, and muttered something. I may actually have muttered "asshole", but old lawyers don't have the best hearing.
WHAT?!
"I'm having a bad hair day," I explained, unable to look up from my desk. Like prairie dogs of humiliation, several of my coworkers had popped up over the tops of their cubicles to look.
"Oh, I thought it was a new style. Are you sure you didn't stick your finger in a light socket?"
Really, I did not think it was that bad, but there's the rest of my day. Shamefacedly trying to hide my hair by staring at my desk or my feet, because if I can't see anyone else, I can't see them seeing me.
So do me a favor. If you can't think of something nice to say, don't fucking say anything, because the operative word in the phrase "brutally honest" isn't "honest", it's "brutal".
