Functional Atheists Are Not Atheists

atheism, atheist, makarios, muslim, hindu, shinto, pagan, agnostic, deism, fail, christianity, bible, god,
I may have figured out why there are so many current and former atheists in a country where less than 5% of people are atheists.

Makarios' latest is on the evil of Oprah, which I just don't have time for, but the following is illuminative:

while there are relatively few professing atheists in the world (those who declare there is no God), there may be a billion or more what I call Functional Atheists - those who live as though God, as He is described in the Bible, does not exist.

Functional atheists, or practical atheists as they're called by some, believe that God’s desires for us are no more relevant for our lives than those of the guy next door.

First of all, these are not atheists. Atheists lack a belief in any and all gods, just the same way Makarios lacks a belief in Thor or Zeus or the tiny pink unicorns in my basement. (They're lovely.) What he is describing is agnostics, deists or unaffiliateds. They represent about 10% of the US. Makarios can call them atheists, but they're not atheists. I can call my dog a cat, it's still a dog.

Secondly, Muslims, Hindus, Shintoists, pagans, etc. could be described as living as though the god of the bible does not exist, by which I think Makarios means "not being the exact same sort of christians as me." Muslims, Hindus, Shintoists, pagans, etc. are demonstrably not atheists: they all believe in god(s).

So, Makarios can redefine agnostics, deists, unaffiliateds, Muslims, Hindus, Shintoists, pagans and my couch as atheists, until he arrives at the billions and billions number, but that does not change the fact that none of these people are atheists.

Redefinition fail.