Saturday, May 2, 2009

This Is Not A Poe- Part II

vagina, GOP, atheism, atheist, prochoice, prolife, abortion, republican, oklahoma,
Continuing our review of the Oklahoma GOP Party Platform of 2009, beginning with

Right-to-Life and Medical Ethics

Republicans do not support abortion.

They do NOT support abortion.

No abortions.

We believe in the sanctity and value of human life from conception through natural death. unless you need some sort of social(ist) service, like welfare or health care. then you can go fuck yourself. We oppose abortion (including the use of RU-486 or other abortion-inducing drugs), partial-birth abortion, infanticide who is proinfanticide?, euthanasia, mercy killings aka "euthanasia", embryonic stem-cell research, cloning who is procloning?, distribution of cloned parts ummmm . . . when did that start happening?, and the funding of such by the government. the US government does not fund any cloning research. We believe that human embryos created by Invitro-Fertilization (IVF) are fully human those 4 cells over there? exactly the same as you and me. and if not wanted by the genetic parents, should be preserved until adoption. We support a Constitutional Amendment protecting innocent human life. and banning abortion. we're really not into abortion.

We recognize that learning of an unexpected pregnancy is a life-changing moment. Therefore, we desire that a mother-to-be have sufficient time to explore all options regarding this new life. We recommend at least a 14-day waiting period for a womanconsidering an abortion and also strongly support and recommend that she be provided with:

This almost seems reasonable, doesn't it? except for one thing: abortion is generally not obtainable in the US after a certain period of time, generally 3-4 months into the pregnancy. What they're hoping for is that by forcing women to wait 2 weeks, they will go over the cutoff and not be able to obtain an abortion.

d. Evidence indicating that the unborn child can feel sensations of pain. even if the science doesn't bear that out. The GOP: We Don't Need Science- We've Got Belief!

e. Information regarding the psychological and medical risks associated with abortion, including the link between breast cancer and abortion. Even if the science doesn't prove that, either. The GOP: Lying for Jesus!

9. We believe in the teaching of abstinence as the only effective way of preventing pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. even if abstinence training is a miserable failure. The GOP: Put That Vagina Away!

11. We support legislation that prohibits using any unborn child for the purpose of harvesting and/or any service related to the donation or purchase or sale of organs and/or tissue. there are already laws about this. you can't buy or sell organs or tissues.

13. We oppose unethical scientific experimentation. so does everyone.


4. We oppose any mandate requiring school age girls to be vaccinated with Gardasil, a new vaccine against certain strains of human papilloma virus (HPV) that can cause cervical cancer. for the last time, put that vagina away!

5. We support privatization of the Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid programs. because everyone's 401k's are doing so well right now.

a. Personal responsibility and education about maintaining health. if you're sick, it's your fault.

b. Options that include Health Savings Accounts (HSA) and/or Medical SavingsAccounts (MSA) that can be voluntarily contributed to, by a citizen or an employer. These accounts should be made available to Medicare participants. because poor people have so much money they don't even need insurance. they can just pay out of pocket.

Elderly and Vulnerable

1. We support the origin and sanctity of life as an inalienable right from God alone really not that into atheists, and as being defined in the Constitution of the United States. This definition of life begins with conception where in the Constitution does the definition of life beginning at conception occur? at the time the Constitution was written, abortion was legal up until about the 5th month. and ends at natural death due to the failure of the body to survive its environment. are they confused as to why people die? congestive heart failure and cancer are not the "failure of the body to survive its environment". as far as i can tell, they're supporting execution by exposure. We support the protection of those who cannot defend themselves including the unborn, the disabled, and the elderly. wait, how old is McCain again?

2. To encourage family members to care for their loved ones, we support tax policies that help alleviate costs. TAX. CUTS. SOLVE. EVERY. PROBLEM.

next up: Religious Freedom!


  1. who is procloning?

    Depends on how the term is used. There is a relatively-new form of technology called "somatic cell nuclear transfer" which allows embryonic stem cells to be grown from an adult patient's DNA, and from these stem cells, in turn, organs and tissues could be grown (this has already been done with lab animals) which would not risk rejection by the immune system the way transplants with a different person's DNA would. This process constitutes "cloning" the way scientists use the term, though it has nothing to do with the science-fiction concept of making a genetically-identical copy of a whole person. The line about "distribution of cloned parts" might also be a garbled reference to this. It's an extension of their objections to stem cell research, really.

  2. To a scientist the word "cloning" is a bit broader in meaning than the average fundie realizes. I'm a bit worried that with the OK!GOP in charge, all the poor Oklahoman scientists will be denied access to basic science supplies.

    Also, I like the bit about we desire that a mother-to-be have sufficient time to explore all options regarding this new life, given that "all options" actually means "just the one option, really".

  3. 8d There is strong evidence that pregnant women can feel sensations of pain

    8e On the risk of abortion to the pregnant woman- anyone voluntarily undergoing the procedure implicitly assumes the risks, whether the risks are proven or not

    9 In the limit, abstinence leads to human extinction

    11 Restricting the sale or trade of organs increases death and suffering among those who are in need of said organs.

    13 All oppose that which runs counter to their own ethics. The question is, on what points do the ethics differ.

    4 There can be a case for mandatory vaccinations where the disease is highly contagious and severe. There is less of a case when the above criteria are not met. There are also the implicit privacy issues involved in tracking who has been vaccinated.

    5 Based on current accounting methods, Social Security requires constant inflow of money in order to pay current benefits. Under a private model, contributions would need to rise drastically and/or benefits fall.

  4. Love it! LOL. It's all about the eeevuhl taxes in this country. Way funny!

  5. if this happens with people, i need a whole new body...
    after some genetic surgery, of course

  6. also, the bible is pro-infantcide:
    9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. [KJV: Psalms 137.9]


Comments are for you guys, not for me. Say what you will. Don't feel compelled to stay on topic, I enjoy it when comments enter Tangentville or veer off into Non Sequitur Town. Just keep it polite, okay?

I am attempting to use blogger's new comment spam feature. If you don't immediately see your comment, it is being held in spam, I will get it out next time I check the filter. Unless you are Dennis Markuze, in which case you're never seeing your comment.

Creative Commons License
Forever in Hell by Personal Failure is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at