We're Just Here to Make You Look Better

I keep seeing these blog posts and articles that I think are meant to encourage people to keep rather than abort a fetus with Down Syndrome. They don't push other disabilities for some reason. I guess Trisomy 21 is the sexy disability these days. Seriously, for every one child with Down Syndrome adopted, there are 300 people waiting to adopt such a child. Meanwhile, there are thousands and thousands of children with disabilities languishing in foster care who will never be adopted.

Does that strike anyone else as being a little . . . odd?

Anyway, back to my original point. I keep seeing these blog posts that give the following "purpose" to the disabled:

In the fictional novel The Clowns of God by Morris West, Jesus comes back to earth, and some people think it's Him while some don't. At one point, Jesus is at a school for children with Down syndrome, and He is holding a little girl. Jesus says:

"I know what you are thinking. You need a sign. What better one could I give but to make this little one whole and new? I could do it, but I will not. I am the Lord and not a conjurer. I gave this mite a gift I denied to all of you -- eternal innocence. To you she looks imperfect -- but to me she is flawless, like the bud that dies unopened or the fledgling that falls from the nest to be devoured by ants. She will never offend me, as all of you have done. She will never pervert or destroy the work of my Father's hands. She is necessary to you. She will evoke the kindness that will keep you human. Her infirmity will prompt you to gratitude for your own good fortune... More! She will remind you every day that I am who I am, that my ways are not yours, and that the smallest dust mite whirled in the darkest spaces does not fall out of my hand... I have chosen you. You have not chosen me. This little one is my sign to you. Treasure her!"

That seems nice, doesn't it? It's so sweet. God made you a perfectly imperfect child to remind you how awesome not having extra chromosomes is. I bet god puts people in wheelchairs to remind the walking how really great that is. I'm in pain all the time to remind all of you how truly special it is to not be in constant pain.

Because when you're disabled, you're only possible purpose is in relation to the abled. We're always secondary to you. We couldn't possibly be a purpose in and of ourselves. Not like the normals. (Whom we're stealing all the good parking spots from. Because we're selfish.)

Nobody questions why children exist- unless they're disabled, and then they need a reason.

Remember what was odd above? People want children with Down Syndrome, but almost nobody is deliberately adopting children with autism or sensory disorders or debilitating food allergies. Why is that? Two reasons, I would guess. For one thing, Down has an ad campaign at this point. For another, Down Syndrome is an obvious disability. All you have to do is look and you know. You couldn't tell, however, just by looking that little Billy has a sensory disorder and is at the end of his ability to cope, rather than just a brat having a temper tantrum. Then you go from being the Greatest Parent Evah!- so self sacrificing!- to the Worst Parent in All of History- Shut that brat up!

It's disability as accessory, and let me tell you, as a person with an "invisible disability", I have seriously considered carrying around a cane. Not that I really need one (some days I could certainly use the help, but not often), but so that people would look at me and immediately know I am not completely able. No more eye rolling, no more snap judgments, no more accusations of faking it for drugs or attention. Yes, in certain groups, canes and wheelchairs are enviable.

Disabled people do not exist to teach a lesson to abled people. Disabled children are not born to provide the abled with patience or selfless love or acceptance for the different among us. The disabled do not exist only in relation to the abled. We simply exist. Just like you.

You can stop turning us into motivational posters any time now.

A Note on Terminology

wheelchair, ablist, able, disabled, language,
lauredhel at FWD/Forward frequently addresses the issue of ablist language, specifically such phraseology as "wheelchair bound" when describing people who use wheelchairs. (If you haven't checked out FWD/Forward, you should. Expand your horizons.)

People who use wheelchairs are wheelchair users, the same way you are a computer user. I know this because you're reading this blog. You're reading this blog because you can't talk to me in person. Using the same logic as "wheelchair bound", you are computer bound, which is just silly.

I understand why able people use such language. If your legs perform the task of moving you around without difficulty, being in a wheelchair does seem restrictive. "OMG- they have to spend their entire lives in that chair?! How horrible!"

If you happen to be the one who uses the wheelchair, however, the wheelchair is the opposite of restrictive. The wheelchair is, in fact, what allows you to move about and participate in life. Without the wheelchair, you'd be stuck in whatever bed or chair your last visitor left you in. That would be restrictive.

I would ask that anyone who reads this remove such terminology as "wheelchair bound" from their vocabulary, and if you see someone else using it, call them on it.