Saturday, May 30, 2009

Majority Rules

traditional, marriage, prop 8, gay, same sex,
Like the idea of the majority rule? Well, the Gundersons did, too. (Hat tip to the Super Jesus.)

Proofs of God's Existence

god, logic, proof, atheism, atheist,
Some of you have probably seen this before, but Hundreds of Proofs of God's Existence is hilariously illogical, and they should all sound familiar if you've been at this for a while. A few selected proofs:

(1) My aunt had cancer.
(2) The doctors gave her all these horrible treatments.
(3) My aunt prayed to God and now she doesn't have cancer.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable.
(3) Therefore, God exists

(1) If there is no God then we're all going to not exist after we die.
(2) I'm afraid of that.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, God exists

(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

(1) Fuck you.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?
(2) That's how God's infinite wisdom reveals itself.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

(1) If God exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever.
(2) I rather like that idea.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

and Ray Comfort's personal favorite:

(1) Ask atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Legal Precedents You Probably Don't Really Want

prop 8, gay, same sex, marriage, opine, editorials, stupid,
no matter what you say, Jose.

Jose Solano, of the Opine Editorials, makes either the stupidest or the most disingenuous argument about the Prop 8 decision I have seen yet.

While the California Supreme Court recognizes the constitutionality of Proposition 8 it simultaneous violates the Constitution by stating that 18,000 same-sex "marriages" will be recognized in California. This is a bizarre maneuver that demonstrates that the court has no interest in altering its judicial activism posture. It saw clearly that it could not overturn Proposition 8 but refused to accept what the amendment actually says.

Proposition 8 clearly and unequivocally states:

"Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

So how on earth can the Supreme Court rule that 18,000 same-sex couples have marriages that are valid and recognized in California? This is an interpretation direct from the twilight zone of Orwellian reasoning.

First of all, I'm not sure you know what Orwellian reasoning is, but this isn't it. For one thing, as the Court clearly stated in its decision:

it is well-established principle that an amendment is not retroactive unless it is clear that the voters intended it to be, and that was not the case with Proposition 8.

So, according to Jose, the Court following well established legal principles is Orwellian. Seriously?

Jose makes his argument even worse with the following example:

Let's put this in perspective by a couple of examples. If the law states that you must be 18 years old to drink alcohol but then a law is passed that says everyone must be 21 years old to drink, can that possibly be interpreted to mean that an exception will be made for everyone not yet 21 without that being stipulated in the new law?

Except that what you want to do is go back and find everyone between the ages of 18 and 21 who was drinking, while it was perfectly legal for them to drink, and arrest them under the new law.

Allow me to give you an example of where the legal precedent you want set would lead. Suppose a law is passed that requires cars to get at least 50 miles to the gallon. Under our current system, you, and everyone else, would be able to keep their lower gas mileage cars, but you couldn't buy a new car that gets less than 50 mpg. Under your desired precedent, the government would be justified in seizing all the cars with lower gas mileage and forcing you to either buy a new car, or walk.

Do you really want that?

That Probably Would Have Happened Anyway

testimony, religion, jesus, god, christian, stupid,
I vary between amused and annoyed at the Christian tendency to credit as a miracle from god events that turned out exactly as they normally would without intervention. In this vein, I thought I'd examine some testimonials to see if any of them reflect something truly miraculous, or simply reflect what would have happened anyway.

Spared From a Possible Car Accident

I was in the right hand lane. As I approached the restaurant up ahead, I observed a vehicle behind me – there was plenty of distance between us at first glance, but upon taking a second look, I realized the vehicle appeared to be speeding up, rather than staying at a constant speed, so I thought to be on the safe side, I had better turn my right hand turn signal on sooner than what would normally be considered sufficient time for the vehicle behind me to begin slowing down. I also quickly saw that at least two cars were in the left lane and this vehicle behind me was probably not going to be able to swerve over to the left lane at the last second and keep from rear-ending me when I would pull into the restaurant driveway.

Realizing that I was about to get rear-ended if I slowed down at all, I actually turned off my turn signal and started accelerating. I would just go on past the restaurant and turn around and come back so I wouldn’t get hit.

Checking quickly again in my review mirror to then see how close the vehicle behind me was … it was no longer there! I thought to myself: Where in the world did it go?! It isn’t in the left lane!

Then I looked out to right side of my car to see the vehicle veering across a driveway just west of the restaurant I was going to drop the booklets off at – not slowing down whatsoever that I was able to see – hit a concrete driveway curb – bounced up into the air – continuing across a short strip of grass – then plowed into a row of cars parked on the west side of the restaurant belonging to customers eating in the restaurant. My guess is that the impact was about 35-45 miles an hour. I assumed either the brakes had gone out on the vehicle, or something had happened to the driver of the van and he/she was unaware of what was even happening.

After quickly praying for the occupant of the vehicle and maybe anyone hurt in the parked cars … and thanking God for protecting me! … I continued to keep driving past the restaurant, then turned around and went back to see what I could do to help. People were stopping and people were running out of the restaurant moments only after the accident had happened, so I wasn’t needed in that capacity. Police and an E-Unit arrived shortly thereafter. (I checked with the manager of the restaurant a few days later, but he had no details of the accident, though he too assumed the driver of the vehicle had lost his brakes).

I just wanted to share this praise report of how I believe God alerted me to something that He knew was soon to happen, and communicated to me that I was to pray for extra protection from Him.

So, you avoided a car accident with your own behavior, but god protected you- and not the driver of the other car, or anyone in the parked cars? Yeah, god's a jerk.

My Typewriter

During my first year of bible school, desperately needing an electric typewriter and being frugal, I went to a pawn shop to try to find a good bargain.

There it was; my hunt was successful. Of course, it was a little banged up, having been used and probably abused. Nonetheless it was in my price range and I was elated. I was very quick to assure God that this was a good deal and that He would be so proud of me for being a good steward of His money. So prayers were raised for the $70 needed so desperately for the typewriter. And true to His promises, God honored my quarter grain mustard seed of faith. In about a week I received a check in the mail for $70 exactly.

So it was off again to the pawn broker with my money in my hot little hand. Seeing the proprietor, I had a big smile on my face telling him that I wanted to pick up the typewriter.

“It’s gone; I sold it last week.”

My outboard engine started up, “but … but … but …” - then it stalled with, “That was my typewriter.” The store owner asked the obvious question about how much money I had put down on it. That surely must have been rhetorical because he already knew the answer.

I felt dejected, rejected and ejected leaving the shop, asking God why He gave me the $70 and then did not keep the typewriter for me. Three hundred reasons were running through my head justifying the need for a typewriter. He knew just how important it was for required theses, term papers, and myriad of other papers that needed typing.

A couple of days later Martha made the declaration which causes every husband to cringe, “Sweetheart, the washing machine is broken!” Everyone has had some extra money that was being saved for something special when there was an unexpected doctor bill or one of the children needed money for school pictures; the cache is revealed. Well, so much for the $70.

About a month later it was Ester and Martha’s brother who invited us to Pontiac for the weekend. After dinner, Chuck (Martha’s brother) asked Martha to close her eyes. There was a rustle of gift wrap and Chuck appeared with a very large box explaining that he and his Mom had bought it over a month ago and were waiting for a chance to give it to us.

Like a child on Christmas morning, Martha tore away the gift-wrapping and there to our bewilderment was a brand new Smith-Corona typewriter!

Wow! That's totally amazing- his mother bought him something he needed as a gift! There's no way god wasn't involved in that!

Angels on Assignment

Several years ago ... Tony, my husband, was at work on third shift. Before he would leave for work he would take out the dog. Then upon actually leaving, he would lock the door, and always would rattle the door knob to be sure that it was locked. It would irritate me a great deal!
A friend and I would always get on the phone after Tony would leave for work, and we would always end up in a prayer session before getting off the phone. One night she would pray and I would agree -- the next night I would pray and she would agree.

One particular night, I was praying God's protection over her house and her family, and her husband, who was a policeman. Then I started praying over my family, my house, etc. When I got done praying, my friend said to me, "Dorene, when you began to pray God's protection over your house and family, God gave me a vision of a huge angel standing by your side door with a flaming sword in his hand. He stood at least 1 1/2 stories high."

Well, of course I went to bed in total peace.

The following morning, Tony came upstairs and woke me up asking, "Did you let the dog out after I left for work? Did the kids let her out after I left?"

"Of course not" I replied. We NEVER opened that door after Tony left for work. So Tony proceeded to go through the whole house - all 3 floors - checking everything to see what may be missing, because he had come home to find the side door was wide open.

Our dog absolutely loved people and would have welcomed anybody into her space. A watch dog she was NOT!

I just laid back down on my pillow and started laughing, because I knew Tony would not find anything missing, because some angel had to have tapped some guy on the shoulder with his mighty flaming sword and scared the heebee-jeebees out of him. Yup! Angelic flaming swords will do it every time! No better protection than the kind that God provides! He gives his angels charge over us. TRY IT!

I'm a firm believer in having angels around me all the time; keeping me safe from all harm. We're not called to put our faith in locks! Locks only keep little kids from getting in or out, and it doesn't even take them very long before they learn how to get things open that we've locked up.

Uh, yeah. It totally had to be a criminal who opened your door, not the wind, or the dog or your children. Sure.

Wet and Wild Faith in Action

This last one scares the shit out of me, and makes me wonder if there's a Children's Protective Service file on this woman anywhere.

On March 13, 2007 I took my daughters, Skyla (12 years old) and Kyra (8 years old), to Wet and Wild Water Park in Orlando, Florida.

We used a foam mat that looked kind of like a toboggan to go down the first slide. The mat had handles in the front, where it curved up. Skyla was ahead of Kyra and I in line. I noticed that when she first started down the slide she was on her knees. The sign at the top of the slide said to go down on your stomach.
I asked one of the workers if it was okay if I went down on my knees. He said, “No, everyone has to go down on the stomach.”

After we all got to the bottom and got out of the water, Sklya said, “Mom, something happened to my leg on that slide. I can’t walk.” I didn’t know if she had pulled a muscle or what had happened.

I said, “Well let’s pray and believe for God to heal it.” So I immediately started praying.

When I finished praying Skyla said, “It still hurts. I still can’t walk on it.”
I said, “Please don’t say those kinds of things.” (Skyla is very knowledgeable about the principles behind Mark 11:24, and the forces that will put your words into action, both good and bad).

She replied, “You and Kyra go on a couple of rides and I’ll wait here. “

I answered, “No – you’re not going to wait here.”

She said, “It still hurts.”

Finally I said, “You either get up and start walking on that leg, believing by faith that God healed you, or we are leaving the park now.”

Well, she didn’t want to leave the park because we had just gotten there, so she got up and started walking to the next slide.

About 10 minutes later she said to me, “The pain is all gone!”

Praise God! To Him be all the glory!

More than likely, it was just a little bump against the side of the slide, and that sort of thing fixes itself pretty quickly, however, what the fuckety fucking fuck was this moron thinking?! If my child says to me "This hurts" I don't force them to pray and then instruct them to walk on the hurt limb and shut up about it. I let them rest, put ice on it, and if it doesn't clear up quickly, I take them to the hospital. Wtf would this idiot have done if her daughter really were hurt? I don't even want to think about it.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

NOM and Same Same Sex Marraige

nom, same sex, marriage, traditional, homosexual, gathering storm, prejean, marraige,
I'm starting to get the impression that NOM is some sort of fifth column liberal organization determined to thwart bigotry by making it look as stupid as possible.

How else does one explain the above? First we had The Gathering Storm ("the homo storm- it got me!"), then we had Carrie Prejean ("I got breast implants for Jesus!"), followed by Confused Children ("If things were different, they wouldn't be the same!") and now "please to call your Senator to let them know you oppose same same sex marraige", whatever that is.

C'mon now, NOM, how am I supposed to mock you if you won't stop mocking yourselves?

Experiencing the Divine

seizures, divine, god, christianity, religious, experience,
Note: this could well be a very poorly written and disjointed post. I am trying to capture the experience of the Simple Partial Seizures I have been having all morning in order to make a point. If this makes no sense at all, well, I've got a good excuse. (No worries, SPS's are annoying, but harmless, in my case anyway. I've just never tried to write a blog post in the middle of them.)

A great many believers, and this isn't just limited to Christians, offer up their experience of the divine as proof of the divine. "How do explain how I felt at that moment?" they ask, truly bewildered at the thought that you might want more proof than a feeling.

It misses the point, I think, to dismiss these arguments with a demand for proof. Feelings are powerful, feelings define us as humans, and truly, the only reality we have is the one we personally experience. Your reality is not my reality. In general, our realities are much the same, but in some instances, we may as well be in different dimensions.

I think of this today, because apparently my seizure meds have decided to stop working, or I forgot to take them, and the (doctor recommended) additional (or possibly first) dose I just took hasn't taken effect yet, and I've been seizing on and off all morning.

I don't flop around on the floor or blank out, though, for I have Simple Partial Seizures, in the temporal lobe. I remain conscious, capable of holding a (somewhat peculiar) conversation, or typing, and generally acting about 10 degrees off of normal. I experience deja vu so strong I feel prophetic, or jamais vu that leaves me lost in my own home. I see and hear things that aren't there, or I feel as if every normal thing I see is secretly bizarre, as if the walls are insidiously straight and their lies hold the secrets of the universe.

Why yes, that does sound like a religious experience, doesn't it? My seizures are the reason I do not believe in experiences of the divine, in prophecy, and the like. My response to the claim of any divine experience is simple: I feel like that, too, on occasion. It's a brain disorder, and it's treatable. You can feel just like me, in fact, if you could get someone to jab an electrical wire into the exact right spot in your brain.

Personal experiences are proof of nothing, other than the fact that you experienced something. My advice to anyone faced with this sort of "proof" is empathy. (I know, totally evil, right?) Explain that you understand that they did indeed feel the way they felt, and that it obviously affected them, and that's fine, but then offer up the example of seizures and fever hallucinations. Ask them if they accept without question the uncorroborated testimony of every person who has ever claimed to see an alien. Question whether they would be comfortable with psychic testimony being offered in a court of law- during a death penalty case.

tired. bye.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

There's Rude, and Then There's the Wingnuts

sotomayor, krikorian, pronunciation, conservative, wingnut,
When I read Mark Krikorian's latest, my intial reaction was "seriously?" And then I thought, "no, really?" And then I thought, "um, wait, what?"

Most e-mailers were with me on the post on the pronunciation of Judge Sotomayor's name (and a couple griped about the whole Latina/Latino thing — English dropped gender in nouns, what, 1,000 years ago?). But a couple said we should just pronounce it the way the bearer of the name prefers, including one who pronounces her name "freed" even though it's spelled "fried," like fried rice. (I think Cathy Seipp of blessed memory did the reverse — "sipe" instead of "seep.") Deferring to people's own pronunciation of their names should obviously be our first inclination, but there ought to be limits. Putting the emphasis on the final syllable of Sotomayor is unnatural in English (which is why the president stopped doing it after the first time at his press conference), unlike my correspondent's simple preference for a monophthong over a diphthong, and insisting on an unnatural pronunciation is something we shouldn't be giving in to.

For instance, in Armenian, the emphasis is on the second syllable in my surname, just as in English, but it has three syllables, not four (the "ian" is one syllable) — but that's not how you'd say it in English (the "ian" means the same thing as in English — think Washingtonian or Jeffersonian). Likewise in Russian, you put the emphasis in my name on the final syllable and turn the "o" into a schwa, and they're free to do so because that's the way it works in their language. And should we put Asian surnames first in English just because that's the way they do it in Asia? When speaking of people in Asia, okay, but not people of Asian origin here, where Mao Tse-tung would properly have been changed to Tse-tung Mao. Likewise with the Mexican practice of including your mother's maiden name as your last name, after your father's surname.

This may seem like carping, but it's not. Part of our success in assimilation has been to leave whole areas of culture up to the individual, so that newcomers have whatever cuisine or religion or so on they want, limiting the demand for conformity to a smaller field than most other places would. But one of the areas where conformity is appropriate is how your new countrymen say your name, since that's not something the rest of us can just ignore, unlike what church you go to or what you eat for lunch. And there are basically two options — the newcomer adapts to us, or we adapt to him. And multiculturalism means there's a lot more of the latter going on than there should be.

Allow me to explain something to you, Mr. Krikorian, no matter how "unnatural" you find it to pronounce words correctly, not doing so makes you an ignorant idiot. (Correctly pronounced "idjit".) Not pronouncing a person's name correctly, after you have had your mispronunciation corrected, is rude. That's it, rude.

Your deliberate mispronunciation of Ms. Sotomayor's name makes you the rude one. The fact that you'd like her name to be pronounced some other way does not make Ms. Sotomayor the rude one.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, the correct pronunciation of "Pakistan" is "pock-i-stahn", and the correct pronunciation of "Iran" is "Ee-rahn" and the correct pronunciation of "Krikorian" is "ignorant wingnut asshole". Was that so hard?

10 Questions from Fallen and Flawed

christianity, atheism, atheist, religion, belief, god, jesus,
Not that they asked me, but Fallen and Flawed has been asking other atheists to answer ten questions about themselves, so, being an atheist, I thought I'd take a crack at it.

1. How would you describe yourself: atheist, agnostic or skeptic? Explain.

Atheist. I have seen no proof of any divine being, therefore I don't believe in any. It's really quite simple.

2. When did you know you were an agnostic atheist? Did it scare you or was it a non-issue?

I'm just an atheist. I was raised Catholic, but no matter how sincere my belief in god and jesus, and it was very sincere, I was always skeptical regarding the dogma of Catholicism. When I say always, I mean back when I was 5, I was questioning hell and purgatory. I went through a spiritual questioning phase in college, but I'd say I was an atheist by about 25. It didn't bother me, it's just the way I was.

I didn't become an atheist activist until I was fired for being an atheist.

3. Ever suffer persecution as an agnostic atheist?

(What's with this "agnostic atheist" thing?) Yes, I was fired for being an atheist. I shared a cubicle with a fundy, and she was always witnessing to me. I told her to stop, she pushed even harder. When it got to the point where I was finding Chick tracts in my purse, the purse I kept hidden away in a drawer, mind you, I complained to management.

The HR rep immediately accused me of being an atheist. I froze. I must've looked like Barb did when she was accused of being a polygamist at the Mother of the Year award banquet. To this day, I don't know why I wasn't quick-witted enough to say something like, "No, I'm Catholic, and it's still offending me!", but I didn't. The HR rep told me that the company didn't need immoral godhaters like me around and had me escorted from the building.

4. What do you want to accomplish with your life?

That's a tough question for me. The hubby and I both suffer from chronic medical conditions that have limited us somewhat physically, so on a lot of days, just getting through the day is an accomplishment.

5. Who are your heroes? Why?

Hmmm. Well, there's Trent Reznor. He overcame a long standing drug addiction that nearly killed him, and now he's raising money for children in need. Or Beethoven. He lost his hearing, which would be the worst possible loss for a musician, and wrote more symphonies. Sonia Sotomayer should be a hero for anyone who's experiencing adversity. She came from nothing, and now it looks like she'll be a Supreme Court Justice.

I admire anyone who's overcome adversity and come back better than ever. They give me hope.

6. What would you like to accomplish with your blog?

I like to think I can raise awareness about issues facing nonbelievers of every stripe (I'm including pagans in this, though they are believers. Pagans get it in the face as much as atheists.), as well as gay rights issues and feminist issues.

7. What’s your favorite part about being an agnostic atheist?

Freedom. I can think what I will (and I can't control my thoughts. I've tried.) without worry about retaliation from the same guy who ordered infants killed. I can read any book I want, watch any movie, talk to anyone.

I love ideas. I love knowledge. I love science. I love that I am free to love all those things without guilt or fear.

8. Are there any Christian concepts that you respect?

Exclusively Christian? No. Concepts like "don't murder" or "love your neighbor" or "give to the poor" are all concepts that I respect, but they are not exclusive to Christianity.

9. Does it irritate you when Christians try to share their faith with you?

If they ever did try to share, no it wouldn't. But they don't try to share, they try to bludgeon me with it. That is irritating. The only example of sharing faith I can think of is the Slacktivist. He truly does share his faith, and I find it amazing.

10. Were you ever a Christian? Would you go back?

Yes, I was Catholic. Would I go back? Right now, no. But I have no idea what the future will bring. Perhaps I will find proof of god someday. Maybe the Rapture will happen. Who knows?

In the Beginning, There Were No Emoticons*

atheism, atheist, bus ads, christianity, god, satan, emoticons, internet

I thought I'd head over to Rapture Ready's message board to see the fundy response to the Chicago Atheist bus advertisements. It was even stoopider than I expected.

The first two responses to the post were emoticons: the disapproving smilie and the eye-rolling smilie, then a row of 4 smilies that burst into flames. Apparently, fundys feel the need to express both cute and outrage in this situation.

Ron4jesus goes straight for the obvious satan connection: It's also a way to demean Christians and our so called crazy beliefs. Yes, that's always our goal. Oh, and you need a dash between "so" and "called". Evil seems to be working overtime it has a great benefits package, though and it's a sign Jesus Christ is coming back soon for his people. isn't everything. Obama is a curse to this country which has what to do with atheist bus ads? and what he has done already is a disgrace.. He is heading us towards a Socialist State define socialism. and fast. Even if a Republican gets in 2012 the mess is so bad I am not sure it can be reversed. you mean the mess Bushco got us into in the first place? and what does that have to do with atheist bus ads again?

We are going to be hated for what we believe in and so be it. yes, because christians are so persecuted in the US. I am willing to die for my GOD wtf does that have to do with atheist bus ads?, if that's the way it has to be. no, it doesn't. I have had it too good in America being safe and protected somehow i wasn't expecting quite this level of crazy, even from rapture ready., but if that's the way it comes down, then so be it satan. wtf?!You are the loser THE EVIL ONE!!!!!!! used my "wtf" too soon. You are the fool and you are being sent to the bottomless pit. Do you know why I think it's called the bottomless pit??????? i suspect because it's a pit and it has no bottom? Because I believe hell is in the center of earth and GOD is going to reverse the spinning of it from top to bottom. By the time it gets to the bottom it reverses again . O_o

little bug apparently understood that: Ron, if I didn't know any better I'd swear you were my twin!!! RIGHT ON!! DITTOES!!! You took the words out of my mouth, Brother!!! not only did she understand that, she listens to Rush Limbaugh. of course.

jc513 drags out the old "atheists hate god too much not to believe in him" canard. sigh.: Atheists sure put alot of money and effort to hate something they don't believe exist. for the last fucking time: we don't hate god, we don't believe in god, and yes, we'd like to be as open about our lack of belief as you are about your belief. go figure.

christina disparages "logic": Honestly? I think they're driven by fear, a fear they'll never admit to. please, continue. They can't disprove the Lord or His Word or His existance you can't prove it, either. but they're too "logical" i can't figure out these sarcastiquotes. does she think that not believing in something without proof is illogical? or does she think logic is something that doesn't exist? do you suppose she even knows what logic is? to believe what is right in front of their eyes if it were right in front of my eyes, like, say, my computer, i would believe in it. ergo . . . so instead they push and push to debate the truth or maybe we'd just like to have to stop hiding in the internet. it'd be really neat to be as open as an atheist as my christian coworkers about their beliefs....maybe silently they're hoping something will be proven that they can't deny sorry, no, but really, I think they're scared of spiders, scared of not knowing for sure no, that doesn't bother me at all. i don't have your need for absolute truth and certainty, darling., scared that we just might be right! nope. I don't feel angry towards them, I feel sorry for them funny, i often feel that way about fundys. hm.

angelka71 totally agrees with christina: Fear and...I just can't help but believe...conviction! I think somewhere, deep down they DO know the truth...yet they love the darkness more than the light...and you know what they say about misery loving company which is why they're out on this mission to attract more "followers." you got me, angelka. i'm not an atheist, i'm a satan worshipper. yeesh.

Kate hasn't been talking to any atheists I know. One pattern I've noticed when talking to an atheist is most have never read the bible. That's what frustrates me the most. They judge and criticize Christians and our belief without any knowledge or understanding. When I begin to explain a few things, they cut me off and call me crazy. Most just don't want to hear it. really, kate? most atheists in the US grew up christian, and most of us have read the bible many, many times. in fact, a lot of atheists became atheists because they read the bible.

we'll end with new moderator Tres Wright, who just has to outoffend all the regular posters: Atheism is a relgion just like many other apostate religions. lack of belief is not a religion. get over it. Some religions worship God, some worship gods, some worship men, atheism is worship of self. no, it's not. it's a lack of belief in god. lack of belief in god =/= worship of self. (i think tres believes that all humans have to worship something, therefore, since atheists aren't worshipping god, they must be worshipping something, and the only thing left is themselves.) Atheism is no doubt Satan's favorite really? you'd think all those untrue varieties of christianity would be satan's favorite. think about it, all those people thinking they're worshipping jesus the right way, assuming they're doing right and going to heaven, but they're really serving evil. it would be genius. as people have a innate desire to worship themselves anyway i really wonder about these people and it's a great way to divert attention from the Truth. I truly believe that Satan is controlling the atheist movement well, he does send regular memos, but trying to get atheists to agree on anything is like trying to herd cats. and their ad campaigns to further his agenda. I don't know if anyone else has noticed it, but this is a blatantly stronger message than the previous bus campaign (that one said "There's probably no God, so quit worrying and enjoy your life.") i fail to see how "in the beginning man created god" is much different from "there's probably no god". They've gone from leaving room for doubt that there may be a God to stating that God is a figment of man's imagination. well, we're clearly working for satan, then. wtf is the difference, really? I think we can expect this campaign to continue to get uglier as time goes on. yes, atheists expressing their point of view in public is just the most horrible thing ever, isn't it? asshat.

*I am old enough to remember an internet before emoticons- and pictures. Yes, children, there was an internet without pictures. Remind me to tell of the world before cell phones sometime.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Senator James Inhofe: Only White Males Are Impartial

asshat, latina, misogyny, racism, bigotry, sotomayor, inhofe, scotus
First we had Republicans insulting Sonia Sotomayor's intelligence. (I hate to break it to you, you bigoted asshats, but there are intelligent women and intelligent persons of color out there. I know, it's amazing!)

Now we have this official press release from James Inhofe:

Without doubt, Judge Sotomayor's personal life story is truly inspiring. I congratulate her on being nominated. As the U.S. Senate begins the confirmation process, I look forward to looking closer at her recent rulings and her judicial philosophy.

"Of primary concern to me is whether or not Judge Sotomayor follows the proper role of judges and refrains from legislating from the bench. Some of her recent comments on this matter have given me cause for great concern. In the months ahead, it will be important for those of us in the U.S. Senate to weigh her qualifications and character as well as her ability to rule fairly without undue influence from her own personal race, gender, or political preferences."

Yes, James, only white males are capable of being impartial. Latinos and women (and especially Latino women) will automatically rule in favor of other Latinos and women, and against white males. It's just the way we are. Maybe it's the darker skin, maybe it's the ovaries, who can tell?

Asshatting asshat.

Day Three

migraine, pain, torture,
I'm on day three of the migraine modern medicine can't touch. Day three. In case you've never had a three day migraine: day one, you moan and whinge in a darkened room. Day two, you curse the day you were born, and your parents for bringing you into the world- and its migraines. By day three, you're ready to set your feet on fire for the momentary distraction it would bring from the pain in your head.

I'm at work.

Our holiday policy is that if you don't come in the day before and the day after a holiday, you don't get paid for the holiday. I need that money. Really, really need it.

So here I sit, with the migraine that would qualify as torture under the Geneva Convention, under the bright, flourescent lighting, listening to the ringing phones, the copiers, the printers, and all my talkative coworkers, who each seem to have 12,000 stories to tell from Memorial Day- at top volume.

So, who has a lighter?

Cancer Patient Fired for Atheism

christian, atheism, atheist, amanda donaldson, cancer, breast, persecution,
As if stage III breast cancer weren't enough, Amanda Donaldson was fired from her job for being an atheist.

Meet Amanda Donaldson, a Stage III Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer Patient. In a recent blog entry her husband claims she was fired from her job by her employer Dr. Dawson at ‘El Dorado Chiropractic’ because of her illness and for her lack of religious beliefs.

May 4th was Amanda’s first day back to work since April 14th because of her mastectomy, the surgical removal of the entire affected breast. Mr. Donaldson claims that “a few hours into her shift he(Dr. Dawson) again brings up that she needs Jesus in her life and she respectfully declined.”

In a reply email to AtheosToday, Mr. Donaldson stated that his wife was then terminated. “She was told to leave. She was told ‘Her attitude towards God was no longer welcome in his business’.”

Please show your support for Amanda. (If you can show financial support, that would be great. She and her husband have 3 children, and even with Emergency Medicaid, cancer ain't cheap.)

And the next time some christian asshat whinges about being persecuted, you tell them all about Amanda, and ask them the last time a christian fighting cancer was fired for Jesus.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Portugal: A Case Study in Drug Decriminalization

drug, war, treatment, addiction, portugal, US, america,
Oddly, the Netherlands is not the European country with the most liberal drug laws: Portugal, which in 2001 became the first European country to officially abolish all criminal penalties for personal possession of drugs, including marijuana, cocaine, heroin and methamphetamine, is.

How has that worked out for Portugal? (Keep in mind, about 1 out of 4 people in jail right now in the US are imprisoned for nonviolent drug charges. The US has 5% of the world's drug users, but 25% of the world's drug related prisoners.)

Really well. (from

Compared to the European Union and the U.S., Portugal's drug use numbers are impressive. Following decriminalization, Portugal had the lowest rate of lifetime marijuana use in people over 15 in the E.U.: 10%. The most comparable figure in America is in people over 12: 39.8%. Proportionally, more Americans have used cocaine than Portuguese have used marijuana.

The Cato paper reports that between 2001 and 2006 in Portugal, rates of lifetime use of any illegal drug among seventh through ninth graders fell from 14.1% to 10.6%; drug use in older teens also declined. Lifetime heroin use among 16-to-18-year-olds fell from 2.5% to 1.8% (although there was a slight increase in marijuana use in that age group). New HIV infections in drug users fell by 17% between 1999 and 2003, and deaths related to heroin and similar drugs were cut by more than half. In addition, the number of people on methadone and buprenorphine treatment for drug addiction rose to 14,877 from 6,040, after decriminalization, and money saved on enforcement allowed for increased funding of drug-free treatment as well.

Amazing, when you stop criminalizing drug addiction, people actually get treated for it. Who could possibly have imagined that?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Doggy in the Window

I love those floor to ceiling windows, and as it turns out, so does my dog. This explains why there is so much fur stuck to the sides of the blinds.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Grinding the Abstinence Axe

abstinence, education, religion, institute, research, evaluation, onenewsnow
Onenewsnow, your source for a great many things that are not news, offers a defense of abstinence only education, fantastic failure that it is. Oddly, the very title of the article proves my point, or someone just doesn't understand the proper use of sarcastiquotes.

Abstinence ed "outperforms" comprehensive sex ed. (That's exactly how the title appears on onenewsnow.) The article is the usual hysterical complaints about teens having sex !!1!!!eleventy!!! and condoms spread disease !!1!!!eleventy!!!, but it includes a link to a study that purports to show that abstinence ed is, in fact, effective, and much more effective than sex ed. I always ask myself in these situations, "Who performed the study, and do they have an axe to grind?"

It was an excellent question in this case. The study was performed by the Institute for Research and Evaluation, which includes information about AEGIS International, the Character Education Company, whose program is represented by the following picture:

I don't know about you, but it seems to me that the Institute for Research and Evaluation might have a vested interest in proving that abstinence education works. Considering the billions of dollars spent on abstinence education over the last decade, they may have a quite large interest in proving that abstinence only works.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Stop Destroying the World

marriage, pseudogamy, esolen, traditional, christan, jesus, divorce, stupid,
On the one hand, I'm happy to finally see a "traditional marriage supporter" do something other than bash gays, on the other hand, somebody needs to stop worrying so very much about what others do. (Oh, and an award for the weirdest use of the word "addled" ever.)

Pseudogamy 101
Anthony Esolen

I've written in a post below that the real social problem we in America face is the number of people who are not married who behave as if they were. I'd like to revise that claim. Our problem is pseudogamy, false marriage, and it assumes many forms. Same-sex pseudogamy is but the latest and most flagrantly absurd, but it is not the first. We find the most fundamental form, from which other corruptions rise up like diseases, when a man and woman go through the ceremony and utter the traditional words "as long as you both shall live," while harboring the mental reservation, "as long, that is, as I am happy," or "as long as the marriage 'works,'" whatever that is supposed to mean. In other words, in the fundamental form of pseudogamy, we don't have people who are not married behaving as if they were, but people who are married (or who present themselves as having been married) behaving as if they were not.

Basically, if you get divorced, you were never married in the first place. Not really. It's a No True Scotsman, and it's no more valid in this instance than that particular logical fallacy ever is. It also reminds me of Ray Comfort's obsession with "false converts": if you used to be christian, but now you are not, then you never were a christian. It doesn't matter how sincere your belief was, it wasn't, and Ray is capable of determining that- even if he never met you. Mr. Esolen is capable, it appears, of determining who was really, truly married, and who was not. Yeesh.

Mr. Esolen seems to have predicted my response to "pseudogamy": who cares?

Why should anyone care about the private mental reservations entertained by the couple next door? The obvious answer is that those reservations are not really private. They will inevitably be talked about, urged upon others, or acted upon, if not by the couple next door, then by the couple two doors down, and then their problems are also ours.

Divorce is catching? We must "inevitably" gossip about others, try to talk our neighbors into divorcing, and . . . wtf? That's Teh Stoopid. You have to gossip about your neighbors. You don't have to get divorced because the Jones did, and anyone who does is just as stupid. We should encourage them to play in traffic.

We must live with their divorce. why? i have no idea which of my neighbors are married, cohabiting, divorced, whatever. i like my neighbors, but it's none of my business. We must try to teach their addled children. addled: confused or unable to think clearly. it's generally used to describe the mentally ill or drunk. i know children of divorce, and while they do tend to have some issues, they're not "addled" or unteachable. We must get along in neighborhoods blasted by the instability and the chaos. um, what, do you live in a war zone? i would imagine a certain percentage of my neighbors are divorced, my neighborhood is neither "blasted", "unstable" nor "chaotic" We must help feed the sharks in the divorce industry. who is this "we"? when did i start having to pay divorce lawyers for other people? We must suffer the now greater probability that other couples near us will follow their example. the horror! A culture in which divorce is common is a different thing from one in which it stands under severe disapproval; and everyone, divorced or not, must breathe the same cultural air. i for one, and glad that i live in a culture that allows abused women a way out, instead of "severe disapproval" for leaving their tormentor. Mr. Esolen is a little too into the severe disapproval.

jesus, jesus, jesus, god, god, god.

I know full well that men and women are sinners. dirty sinners in need of severe disapproval I'm a sinner, after all. shocked! i'm shocked! But even a poor marriage, when husband and wife do their duty by one another, stands as an example of the ideal, and in one way a more powerful example of it than will the good marriage, i think he means "loveless". a really bad marriage is not an a powerful example of anything other than pain. just as the man who stands by his post in defeat is a greater hero than one who does so in victory. marriage as war? we need to have a little talk about analogies, mr. esolen. And of course, just as the determination to stand by your post helps your comrades to victory even when all seems bleak, so the determination not to revoke your complete gift of self in a poor marriage may turn that marriage itself around and help others navigate through the storms. sorry, i'm not wasting the only life i'm getting in a loveless or abusive marriage just to make other people, what?, determined to stay in their own bad marriages? no, thanks. But in a nation of pseudogamy, the only place to turn to for the noble call for complete gift of self will be the military -- a call which few of us will even hear. mr. esolen is a little too into the sacrificing.

then we get a whole lot of words about self, and retaining your sense of self and how dare you retain your individuality instead of . . . yeah, i don't fucking know. i'm gonna go somewhere and sin. and introduce chaos to the world!

Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Care

gays, military, dadt, don't ask, don't tell, obama
Apparently, the DOD finally figured out exactly who is in charge of this country, and it's not them.

On Tuesday, Pentagon spokesman Geoff Morrell said the military has no plans to repeal the policy and that the White House had not asked for the 1993 policy to be scrapped.

Two days later, Gibbs said Morrell had backed off that position; Morrell released a statement hours later doing just that.

"President Obama has been clear in his direction to Secretary (Robert) Gates and (Joint Chiefs) Chairman (Mike) Mullen that he is committed to repeal the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. He has also been clear that he is committed to do it in a way that is least disruptive to our troops, especially given that they have been simultaneously waging two wars for six years now," Morrell said.

"Although this will require changes to the law, the secretary and chairman are working to address the challenges associated with implementation of the president's commitment," he said.

Over the years, many talented, dedicated soldiers were kicked out of the military under Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT).

Of the discharges for the fiscal year that ended September 30, 410 were male and 209 were female, according to the figures obtained by the Globe from Pentagon personnel officials. That compares with a total of 627 discharges in fiscal year 2007; 612 in 2006; 726 in 2005; and 653 in 2004.

. . .

More than 13,000 troops have been discharged for being gay since 1993.

In the middle of two wars we can't find enough troops for, and given that it costs tens of thousands of dollars to train each one, it is insane that we are still kicking out soldiers that have done nothing wrong, other than be what they are.

Also, it's incredibly disturbing the kind of company DADT puts us in: Countries that do not allow openly gay soldiers include the US, Iran, Iraq and Libya.

Any time you end up on a list with freakin' Iran, you need to rethink the direction you're going in.

Poverty 101

poverty, poor, economic,
If you've never been poor, you need to read this.

If you have been, or are currently poor, give me a "sing it, sister!"

A sample for the lazier among us.

Like food: You don't have a car to get to a supermarket, much less to Costco or Trader Joe's, where the middle class goes to save money. You don't have three hours to take the bus. So you buy groceries at the corner store, where a gallon of milk costs an extra dollar.

A loaf of bread there costs you $2.99 for white. For wheat, it's $3.79. The clerk behind the counter tells you the gallon of leaking milk in the bottom of the back cooler is $4.99. She holds up four fingers to clarify. The milk is beneath the shelf that holds beef bologna for $3.79. A pound of butter sells for $4.49. In the back of the store are fruits and vegetables. The green peppers are shriveled, the bananas are more brown than yellow, the oranges are picked over.

(At a Safeway on Bradley Boulevard in Bethesda, the wheat bread costs $1.19, and white bread is on sale for $1. A gallon of milk costs $3.49 -- $2.99 if you buy two gallons. A pound of butter is $2.49. Beef bologna is on sale, two packages for $5.)

This is why it's so hard to stop being poor. Not because poor people are lazy or stupid or immoral, but because poor people spend every dollar they have, and then some, paying more for food, for housing, for washing their clothes, etc. You can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps if you can't afford bootstraps.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I Am So There

If you work in an office, this scene counts as porn.

Send Your Kids to Sunday School

answers in genesis, ken ham, creationism, religion, christian, fundamentalism, fundy, sunday school
In case you've never heard of Ken Ham, he's the big cheese at Answers in Genesis, a creationist "institute". Ken Ham is a scientist in the same way that I am a ballet dancer. Ken Ham is to science what my dog is to art. Ken Ham is the Carrie Prejean of evolutionary biologists. (Feel free to add your own analogy.)

Ken Ham is about to run out of money.

Oh, he says he's all concerned about the fate of fundamentalism, but Ken's smart enough to run the numbers, and if he's right about the future of fundamentalism, people like him and Ray Comfort, whose incomes depend on the generosity of many, many fundys, are screwed.

Good for ya, bichez.

From Ken Ham's blog, A Shock to the Church.

A new book entitled Already Gone, authored by highly respected market researcher Britt Beamer (from America’s Research Group) and me, will be released this coming Tuesday.

We believe this book is going to be a shock and a wake-up call for the church. In fact, I believe this is the most important book I have ever authored or coauthored.
BUY IT! NOW! I NEED A NEW BEEMER! The contents are based on statistical research Britt Beamer conducted for Answers in Genesis (and paid by one of our generous supporters please, be generous again.). We interviewed people aged between 20–29 -5 points on style. that was awkward who went to church when they were younger, but no longer go to church. i'm guessing a lot of those people are hanging out on this blog. And we only included participants who attended conservative evangelical churches so that the results are the best they could possibly be. that weirded me out at first, but it's probably valid. he, and the readers of his books, don't care why catholics stop going to church, they care why their own kind stop going to church.

I have to give Ken and Britt (weren't those two of Barbie's friends?) credit, the research, if it is valid, is really quite interesting, and counterintuitive. (I don't trust Ken with anything, but Britt could be a very good researcher for all I know.)

The purpose of the research was to find out why they left church—what caused them to do this.

The results are shocking and a real wake-up call. If God’s people take this research to heart
give me more money! that inground pool won't build itself!, it could revolutionize our churches. i thought the point of fundamentalism was to not revolutionize things. Here are just a couple of the many things we found:

1. Over 40% in the survey had decided to leave the church by the end of middle and elementary school, and another 40+ % by the end of high school. that makes sense to me. most atheists i know used to be christians, and this matches the personal anecdotes i've heard from them. These people–now young adults—were already having doubts about Christianity through elementary, middle, and high school. It wasn’t in college where most of them were lost—it was before that. the reason Ken points this out is because most fundys view colleges as dens of iniquity where satan steals souls, and their precious little spawn will become drug addicted, promiscious atheists within 5 minutes of setting foot on campus. (I am not kidding. This comes up on Rapture Ready all the time. "My child was accepted to Brown with a full scholarship, but I can't let him go there!") Most fundys believe that christian schools, or better yet homeschooling, will ensure their children grow up faith intact.

2. The second chapter in the book is one of the most shocking—we call it the “Sunday School Syndrome.” We found that those that went to Sunday school regularly as kids were worse off than those who didn’t—that Sunday school overall has been detrimental to a child’s spiritual health! this was what i found counterintuitive. i would have thought the opposite, and i imagine most fundys would have agreed with me. Now we don’t advocate eradicating Sunday schools, but do advocate radical changes for teachers and the curricula. such as buying my books! designer clothes? not cheap, people! But you can’t deny the statistics—they are overwhelming. For instance, those who went to Sunday school were more like to defend abortion and pre-marital sex than those who didn’t attend Sunday school: again, i would have thought the opposite. which is why i recommend that all fundys continue to send their children to sunday school. clearly it is a force for good.

Now, we do give what we believe are the reasons for this shocking situation—and it relates to how the Bible is taught—it also relates to belief—and it relates to the fact that the curricula does not by and large have an apologetics emphasis. We give the many reasons, and the book suggests solutions.

I'm sure the book does- for the low, low price of $29.95. call in the next twenty minutes and receive a free booklight! i doubt the real problem is apologetics, however. children are natural skeptics. they have to be. the only way children can learn is to question. spend 10 minutes with a four year old and you'll find out exactly how much you don't know. in fact, my friend was playing spiderman with his 5 year old son, and the boy kept asking about the background extras. every time a random person in the game would walk or drive by, my friend was bombarded with questions as to that person's name, job, likes, dislikes, hobbies, marital status, etc.

Fundamentalist christianity, especially young earth creationism, is filled with logical gaps, inexplicable stories, and completely irrational reasoning. children do recognize illogic and irrationality. they generally can't verbalize it, but they do notice. more apologetics will not help the fact that a faith based on irrational illogic is irrational and illogical, and in the end, indefensible.

bottom line: children are ignorant, but they're not stupid.

But this is just a part of what is in this book that we believe is vital to the church today. buy it! buy my book! In fact, we are using this book to call for a new reformation in our churches—a badly needed reformation. ken's a modern day Martin Luther!

We are so convinced this publication needs to get into the hands of every Christian there are millions of you! i can finally buy that island! and every Christian leader that we are making them available in case lots. BWAHAHAHAHAHA Can I urge you to buy cases of them and hand to every Christian leader in your church? oops, used the maniacal a little too soon. In fact, get them to everyone in your church. if enough people listen to Ken's advice, they'll all be handing each other copies of the book. lulz.

Statistics show that if you were to line up all the elementary, middle, high school, and college students in your church, then at least 60% and maybe 70–80% will leave the church one day. sunday school ftw! They are your children—your grandchildren—and this research shows why this is happening and how we can stem the tide. with my book- buy it! by the case!

You can order Already Gone from the AiG website. i love the smell of desperation in the morning.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Gender and Sex are not the Same

sex, gender, transsexual, transgender, society, stereotype, same sex, marriage, traditional, gay,
emissary (of confusion) wrote something that is either the height of ignorance or the very definition of disingenuous.

Are The Different Sexes Really Different?

Short answer: duh. The problem here is that the DNAers, and others like them, can't seem to understand the difference between sex (not the activity) and gender. I can't decide if they're really that ignorant, or if they're just being disingenuous.

Sex is physically what you are. I am a woman. I have the XX pairing, a vagina, a uterus, ovaries, the works. Men have the XY pairing, a penis, testicles, etc. That's a serious oversimplification, though. Sex, as physical as it is, is complicated. There are people born with both penises and vaginas, or some combination thereof. There are people with just one X, three Xs, XXY, XYY. Then there are the transgendered: they are physically all one thing, but feel entirely the opposite.

Gender, while related to sex, isn't the same thing. Gender is society's expectations for the sexes. Essentially, gender is a mass delusion. Obey the rules of your society, go to another, and you're doing it wrong. It's arbitrary. Why am I supposed to love cooking and sewing and babies? Why is the hubby supposed to be the one fixing things? Is he not a man because he's useless with power tools? Am I not a woman because I'd rather go shoot a few rounds at the range than bake a cake?

I guess it depends on whom you're talking to. If you're talking to the general readership of this blog, no, he's no less a man and I am no less a woman. If you're talking to DNAers, we're destroying the very fabric of the nation. Possibly the entire spacetime continuum.

I'm puzzled by something of a conundrum. Hopefully, someone has a good explanation that will help to clarify the issue in my mind. hey, look, she wants me to do this! if she's actually puzzled, she's puzzled by her own ignorance.

The problem is that the GLBT group seems to hold conflicting ideas regarding whether or not biological sexual differences are inherent and important. no, the problem is you don't seem to be capable of understanding the difference between sex and gender. do i need to use smaller words?

On one end of the spectrum is the idea that sexual differences don't matter. sexual differences or gender differences? I've often heard the comment that, "The only difference between homosexual and heterosexual couples is the way they make love." what the fuck would that have to do with gender or sex differ- oh, that's right, if you're not sticking slot A in tab B, you're doing it wrong. guess you don't want to know what I was doing last night. That implies that biological differences in the sexes are not important to marriage, nor should they be valued in society. why would sex differences be important in a marriage? why should they be valued in society? they just are. it is what it is. that's like valuing our specific visual light spectrum. "I'm so glad we're not bees!" The argument holds that homosexual couples can be just as good of parents as heterosexual because sex doesn't matter. umm, yeah. Insisting that there are inherent differences is a matter of stereotype and societal roles. when it comes to gender differences, it is stereotype and societal roles. inherent sex differences are what they are. so what? The difference really lies in various personalities. basically, yes.

On the other end, there's the transgender group. These individuals feel very strongly that they are not the correct sex. then they're not. how can you argue someone's experience with them? that's like telling me i really, really like country music. no, i don't. To them, the biological sexual differences are really, really important. because gender and sex are different things. They feel trapped in the wrong body. They feel there's something inherently male or female within them that doesn't match the body they were given. They go through therapy, take hormones, and some even have expensive and painful surgery to change their biological sexual organs. all surgeries are painful, asshat. and, so what? what does the transgender experience change about the difference between sex and gender? (you do know another word for transgender is "transsexual", right?)

But if there really aren't substantive differences between the sexes, why can't they just change their personalities? Why go through all of the fuss and pain to change their physical appearance when, ultimately, there is no difference between the sexes? see above.

If anyone can shed light on this, I would really appreciate it. I bet she totally does not appreciate this, at all.

What Are You Thinking?

penis, bible, god, christan, pleasure, fantasy, prayer
Apparently, if you are thinking of something other than God, you need to stop it! Right now!

Thoughts, fantasies & illusions

by Susan Bertalotto

How many of us are experiencing a daily onslaught of sexual and sensual images in our minds? I know I am not the only one! Have you ever met someone, and then thought about that person for the rest of the day? Or do you have regular fantasies of ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, ex-husbands/wives, thinking about ways the relationship could have succeeded? Do you wish at times for a person of the opposite sex in your life, just so you could feel his/her touch, feel the pleasure of undivided attention? Then would everything be complete in your life? Is it okay to experience these thoughts, fantasies, and illusions occasionally?Ask yourself these questions: I honestly thought this was going to go the standard "thinking about sex is the same as doing it" route, but it doesn't. She goes someplace else entirely (I congratulate Ms. Bertalotto on reaching a whole new level of crazy that's way past "sex is bad".)

AM I ROBBING GOD OF MY TIME? Yes!! What a time-waster! I could be praying or reading my Bible! If I add up the amount of time I dwell on these thought, and substitute them with prayer, could I perhaps be in prayer and devotional time with the Lord for an extra fifteen minutes a day? A half-hour a day? An hour a day? And if I stop fantasizing, will I substitute prayer in its place, or will I find another way to waste my time? Jeremiah 29:13 And you shall seek Me, and find Me, when you shall search for Me with all your heart.

Are you thinking about something other than god? Are you reading something other than the bible? (well, clearly) Stop it! Right now! Any time you think of anything other than god, or read something other than the bible, or engage in any activity other than prayer, you are stealing from god! It's not your time- it's his time! (in case you have not been in an abusive relationship, this is exactly the logic abusers use. if you aren't totally focused on me and my needs every second of the day, you don't love me. and i should punish you for it.)

can you imagine if someone actually followed this advice? can you imagine trying to concentrate on god every waking moment? i just can't imagine it. i doubt it's even possible. i have spent 12-16 hours at a time playing a video game, but i couldn't do that every day.

AM I PROJECTING WHAT GOD HAS FOR MY FUTURE? How can I know my future? Am I pretending to be God? Who gave me the right to tell God how the scenario should go? …who I should meet? …how I should meet someone? …what I should say? …what I should be wearing? …what s/he should be wearing?I Corinthians 2:16 For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ.

That's completely uncommunicative. I can't even imagine what she's trying to say. As far as I can tell, before I get dressed every morning, I should sit around and wait for god to tell me what to wear. At which point, I will be forced to reinterpret every thought I have as god's (and that way lies madness), or stand in front of my closet naked until I drop dead of thirst. Fantastic advice!

DO I COMPLETELY TRUST GOD? Perhaps I don’t trust God enough to bring me a mate. Why? Isn’t God’s timing perfect enough? Trusting in the Lord gives me hope for my future. If I project my future through thoughts, fantasies, and illusions, how can I say I trust the Lord?Psalm 37:4-5 Delight yourself also in the LORD; and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.

Is this some sort of trick question? We are talking about the same guy who lets children be raped and thousands die in tsunamis and wildfires and hurricanes, right?

DO I BELIEVE THAT THE THOUGHTS, FANTASIES, AND ILLUSIONS ARE OF GOD? When an image presents itself in my mind, is it something I want to linger in my mind? If I allow these thoughts in my mind, will I become complacent and think it is no big deal? Are they just benign thoughts that will go away? No!! Remember at all times that these thoughts, fantasies, and illusions are not of God. Get on your knees and Pray! Humble yourself before God, knowing that HE is your ONLY Source of strength.

STOP THINKING THINGS! Stop it! Right now! I know you're thinking about something- stop!

Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

We are not battling with people I thought we were battling our own thoughts- wait, what's going on? ; we are battling with “spiritual wickedness”. How many times have you heard or read the scripture in Ephesians 6:12? How does that apply in your life? Are you giving way to these fantasies at a time when you need comfort and pleasure? what if the fantasies are my comfort and pleasure? oh, god is supposed to be my comfort and pleasure. no, sorry. i'm not trading in the penis for a bible.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Now You're Just Scaring Me

obama, crime, recidivism, drug, justice, rehabilitation, liberal, conservative, townhall, stupid, religion, atheism,
Mike Adams, of, defines the conservative view of humanity in terms that make me truly fear conservatives. I never really liked conservatism, but this just scares me.

The terms “liberal” and “conservative” are bandied about by many who fail to understand the crucial difference between them. that's actually true. those words do get thrown around without any regard for what they mean. i think Mr. Adams is about to add to the confusion. Many believe the difference lies in the liberal’s willingness to support government spending. But that explanation falls short. Conservatives are always willing to spend more on defense. Liberals would rather spend money on social programs. conservatives want to keep you safe from terrorists, liberals want to give welfare queens more money! of course, i could turn that around: conservatives want more pointless, endless wars and liberals want to feed children. we call that framing the argument.

Others believe the liberal is the one who supports “change” while the conservative supports the “status quo.” That explanation also falls short. Ronald Reagan was a conservative. When he came to Washington in 1981 he shook the establishment and brought about change the liberals could not believe in. can we please stop deifying President Reagan? He was deep into alzheimer's by his second term. I have no idea who was running the country from 85-89, but it wasn't him.

If there is one thing that separates the conservative from the liberal it is his view of human nature. wait for it . . . The conservative sees man as born in a broken state. oh dear. This tragic view well, yes, it would be of human nature sees man as selfish and hedonistic by design. headdesk. Given his nature, it is no wonder a man chooses crime. It is a wonder he ever chooses conformity. except that most people do not choose crime. most people do choose to obey the laws. i suppose asshat's answer to that is that the jaysus makes them that way, except that atheists act like everyone else, so clearly not.

This tragic view of human nature also explains why conservatives often speak of religion and family values. so it's not a cynical ploy to get conservative christians to vote for you against their own self interest? Given his selfish nature speak for yourself, asshat, man must internalize some reason to behave in pro-social ways. maybe you, not me. i cae up with on my own. That fact that he falls short of these values does not mean he is a hypocrite. The one who does not even believe what he says is the hypocrite. The one who believes what he says and falls short is merely human. (thus excusing the sexipades of many a republican hero.)

This is the fundamentalist christian view of mankind: everyone would be raping their children to death with chainsaws if it weren't for jaysus! that's ridiculous. of course we wouldn't. those commandments about not murdering and not stealing and not lying? those are societal rules common to all societies, including societies that never heard of jesus.

If that truly is how conservatives view mankind, that's just scary. It certainly explains conservative efforts to make official Years of the Bible, and affirm the US as a christian nation. Since the only thing holding them back from raping and pillaging is jaysus, they assume the rest of us need, for everyone's protection, jaysus, too. Look, Mr. Adams, we're not all hairtrigger psychopaths like you. Most of us don't want to rape and pillage. We don't need jaysus to tell us not to.

The conservative knows in advance that he (and others) will fall short of what religion expects of him. But his solution is not to give up on religion. His solution is to implement a back-up plan. In the context of crime, that back-up plan takes the form of a criminal justice system focused on punishment.

to rephrase: jaysus works, and when he doesn't, jails do!

let's review the recidivism rate, shall we?

Rearrest within 3 years

67.5% of prisoners released in 1994 were rearrested within 3 years, an increase over the 62.5% found for those released in 1983

The rearrest rate for property offenders, drug offenders, and public-order offenders increased significantly from 1983 to 1994. During that time, the rearrest rate increased:

- from 68.1% to 73.8% for property offenders
- from 50.4% to 66.7% for drug offenders
- from 54.6% to 62.2% for public-order offenders

The rearrest rate for violent offenders remained relatively stable (59.6% in 1983 compared to 61.7% in 1994).

Wow, prison's just the way to go, isn't it? works great. just like jaysus. (Look, don't ask me what to do with violent offenders, but nonviolent drug offenders, i.e., some guy caught with a few joints, are about 25% of all inmates. States spent approximately $17,110,415 per day to imprison drug offenders, or $6,245,301,475 per year. That can't be the answer.)

According to the conservative, effective punishment is that which produces fear of transgression. except that prison clearly does not do that. the recidivism rates are over 60%. That means that 6 out of 10 people released from prison ended up back in prison within 3 years. these are people who know exactly how bad prison is, and they're still not all that afraid of ending up back in prison, obviously. Fear of transgression occurs when the punishment is swift, certain, and severe. i.e., the death penalty. except that even the death penalty doesn't deter anyone. In sum, the conservative believes we should first try to love people into conformity. scariest sentence ever. If that does not work, we should scare people into conformity. no, sorry, this is the scariest sentence ever. But the liberal sees things differently. not so much on the conformity and the scaring, more on the loving. Everyone is born “good” with a blank slate. has this asshat met a baby? babies are the ultimate atheists. they're morally neutral. seriously, spend time with a baby. To the extent that people become “bad” it is because “society” corrupted them. he's not really stating the "liberal" position very well. Nowhere does the liberal explain how combining many good people makes a bad society. ummm, why would i have to explain that? it's just a total non sequitur. don't respond to non sequitors, it just encourages more of them.

But this is what the liberal thinks. no, it's not. And it is why he sees the criminal justice system as one which should focus on rehabilitation. clearly punishment isn't working. If people were taught to be bad then, surely, they may be taught to be good again. There are two victims for every crime: The victim of the crime and the criminal himself. i can't even address that. i guess it depends on a lot of things. look, not that i think pedophiles should be let loose to abuse any child they can get their hands on, but most pedophiles were abused as children themselves. and what about drug offenses? who's the victim there? crime and punishment are extremely complicated issues, that everyone tends to view in black and white. maybe the liberal viewpoint could be better explained as "we don't view complex issues in terms of simple, ineffective solutions" or "if all we have is a hammer, we don't view a bolt as a nail, we get another tool."

the rest of this article wanders off into foreign policy (US good! rest of world bad!) and economic policy (obama's a socialist!), and i'm just not up to subjecting my brain to that.

Urgent Warnings! Read Now! We're All Going to Die! AAAAHHHH!!!1!!one!

prophecy, prophet, united, states, john w johnston, visions, bible, god, christan, time acceleration

That's how the website starts, except they've got it in 72 point font. (And, inexplicably, a picture of a bear.)How could I resist?

My name is John W. Johnston and this website was set up to warn the people of the United States of America. the rest of the world can go fuck itself. we all know god loves the USA best. I have been receiving visions, dreams, visitations and prophetic word of knowledge from God since 1982. so, that's how long you've had schizophrenia. there are treatment options, you know. I was called by God to be a watchman - seer and He instructed me to warn the churches and the people of America about what is coming upon our land if there was no repentance of sin. you know, we have tv's and the interwebz now, god couldn't use those?

God told me in June 2008 that He is not going to delay His judgments any longer. and yet somehow we've made it almost a year past that. huh. "Surely the Lord GOD does nothing, Unless He reveals His secret to His servants the prophets." (Amos 3:7 NKJV)

Time is running out! Please establish or renew your relationship with Yeshua Jesus Christ today! The Bible prophecies are in the process of fulfillment and all the worlds current events are a testimony to it! everything! i! write! is! followed! by! an! exclamation! point!

The relatively short span of your life on this earth is meant to prepare you for ETERNITY! Where do you want to spend eternity? THINK ABOUT IT!!! the succint, overdramatized version of Pascal's Wager.

2009 prophecies:

in which Mr. Johnston connects the 5th seal of revelation with, wait for it, Carrie Prejean.

To the Christians of the United States of America and the world on the 14th day of April at 2:30 PM eastern standard? pacific standard? God spoke to me very clearly about what is getting ready to happen to America and the world. The 5th seal of Revelation chapter six has been broken over the world. (Revelation 6:9) When He opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony which they held.

I came under attack by three very powerful demon spirits on April 11th. um, what? Soon after this attack God showed me that the fifth seal has been broken. 4 days later. The fifth seal represents great persecution and suffering of God apostrophe s people which is coming against the remnant body of Christ. ewww!

What I find amazing is that five days after He said this to me on April 19th during the Miss USA Pageant buy a fucking comma! trade in some of those exclamation points, you'll get a good deal. Miss California was asked the question as to what she thought the definition of marriage is. Her answer was the Biblical definition "between a man and a woman". She was the front runner and because of her answer (belief) she lost the pageant and has since come under vicious attack for her beliefs.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Let's review Rev 6:9, shall we? When He opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony which they held. by "slain for the word of god", apparently god meant "bimbos who parade around mostly naked will not win tiaras". I repeat: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

At about the same time frame in April the so called “swine flu” broke out and California was the first to report a case of this flu in the US on April 21st. you mean the flu which has killed about 3 people, which would be a lower death rate than the average flu? that's the plague of revelation? bring it on, baby!

Now, what could possibly top that? Time acceleration, that's what.

About ten years ago God showed me that He was accelerating the time. has anyone noticed time speeding up? anyone? you'd think at least one scientist would have noticed this. at least one. anybody? He confirmed to me that in the month of June 2009 there will be another time acceleration and that this one will be a double time acceleration.

just so you don't think he's speaking of prophetic acceleration, Mr. Johnston includes further explanation. well, not so much explanation, as . . . you'll see.

I was taken in the spirit to a place in heaven where there was a sea of glass. It was like a giant mirror was it a giant mirror or a giant expanse of glass? and standing on the west side of this sea of glass how did you know it was the west side? do compasses work in heaven? was Christ Jesus, the son of God. He pointed to me from across the sea of glass, as I was standing on the east side, and He then said to me that in the month of June there would be a “double time acceleration and that time would start to move faster than it has ever gone before”. not just any acceleration, a double acceleration.

As I looked into this sea of glass I saw time moving very fast.
you saw the fourth dimension moving? really? or did you see events in fast forward? i'm fairly certain one cannot "see" time. Right before my very eyes I saw all of creation from start to finish moving across this giant mirror. were men riding dinosaurs before the Flood? Then the Son of man said to me that evil will start moving faster across the world and men’s hearts would become increasingly wicked as another tidal wave of evil is about to come across the earth. wait, don't you think you should warn people of the tidal wave of evil before you warn them of the time acceleration?

We will end with this:


I want to say thank you very much to all of the folks who have donated money and other resources to help me out. My work has completely dried up and I have not worked for almost a year now. yes, most people don't hire the unmedicated insane. for good reasons. I have learned how to "live by faith" as never before in my life. The Lord does literally make daily provision for me. no, all those people you just thanked for their donations make daily provision for you. I spend much of my time ministering to the people on the street or wherever God sends me. when we're not hanging out at seas of glass in heaven. So thank you to all who have donated money to help out with gas, car insurance, food, business cards business cards? seriously? this guy has no job and is begging for money that he then uses for business cards? and this website. I also want to thank my "Scribe" Sara for getting all of my visions, etc. typed up, for creating and maintaining this website and for putting up with me. Most of all I want to thank the Lord God Almighty, my Savior Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit for taking a wicked person and saving me from the pit of hell and out of Satan's hands.

God Bless You! John W. Johnston

Thank you, Mr. Johnston, for the most fun I've had in a while.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Reality, Self Delusion and You: A Play

the reality, self delusion, religion, tithing, tithe, bible, irony, absurd, theatre, theater
featuring: Reality, an overworked woman in her late 30s, with frizzy, greying brown hair and sad brown eyes

Self Delusion: viewed differently by every member of the audience as their sexual fantasy, with occasional glimpses of something corrupt and twisted.

You: well, there you are.


You, in a room with Self Delusion. Self Delusion pats your arm and whispers soothing nothings about prayer and god. You feel the urge to swat the slime off your arm, though you can't imagine how it got there.

Enter Reality.

"Sorry I'm late, I just got back from a conference on abstinence only edu--Oh, now what is going on here? And why weren't you at the conference?"

Self Delusion smirks and flicks a mucous-encrusted tail that isn't there. "Well, dear, I knew I wasn't winning that one, so I decided to get to our next appointment a little early."

Reality opens her battered messenger bag and immediately drops what appears to be at least one billion sheets of paper on the floor. She starts sorting through the papers. "Which one is this? The abusive relationship? The dying child? The foreclosure? Oh, yeah, this is the foreclosure, isn't it?" Reality triumphantly pulls a crumpled sheet of paper from the pile, which then disappears. She scans the page, then smiles. "This one is easy." Reality turns to You and says, "Just stop tithing to the church, and you'll have enough money to pay your mortgage."

Self Delusion snickers and gestures for You to speak. "I can't stop tithing," You reply.

Reality, who had been in the process of fading off to some other appointment, brings herself back. "What do you mean, you can't? Of course you can. Stop handing over the money."

You glance over at Self Delusion, who nods encouragement, and seems to have grown fangs. "But the Bible says . . ."

Reality snorts and pushes frizzy curls out of her face. "The Bible says to give everything away to the poor. Of course, if everyone did that, everyone would simultaneously become poor and not poor, and anyway," She roots around in her bag and withdraws another crumpled paper. "Your church is doing . . . quite well. They won't miss your money."

Self Delusion laughs. "Oh, Reality, you are so naive." He turns to You. "Go on, dear."

"I'm a good Christian. I can't stop tithing."

"Look, I'm late for two virgins getting married so they can screw. Your church is using your money to build a bigger, better church. Do I need to get Irony over here to explain to you exactly what losing your home so your church can have a bigger, better one is?"

Self Delusion giggles and rubs his claws, no hands, together. "Please, please tell her!"

You stand up straight and declare, "God will provide."

"Oh, fuck me." Reality sits on a chair that appears a bare moment before she touches it. She scrubs her hands across her face and fixes You with a sad-eyed glare. "No, god will not provide. God doesn't provide. God lets little children starve to death and die of treatable, even preventable, illnesses. God allows war and famine and plague, and doesn't give a shit if a tornado destroys your house and kills your whole family.

"God helps those who help themselves. That was me! I came up with that so that credulous fucktards like you would stop waiting for divine help. May as well pray for rain in the desert, you stupid snot! I am so sick of having to smack you morons in the face because you don't have the sense to see the train comin' down on you!"

Reality walks over, grabs You by your collar and gives You a hard shake. You can't help thinking that she hardly looks strong enough for that. Her grip is like iron and her eyes have taken on a distinctly reddish cast. "I'm going to speak slowly so you can understand me. Self Delusion is a really good-looking beast, but I. always. win. in. the. end. Always."

"Oh, but you lose so much along the way," purrs Self Delusion, licking his perfectly arched eyebrow with a serpentine tongue.

Reality lets go of your collar and starts to fade again. Oddly her eyes remain clearly visible. "Do what you want. In the end, you still have to deal with me." She spares an exasperated glance at Self Delusion. "C'mon, you need to go convince two virgins that the awkward, nervous sex they have on their wedding night is the best they could ever have. And totally worth skipping college for."
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