Sunday, November 30, 2008

Rethinking Atheism

I'm seriously rethinking the whole atheism thing after hearing this: Ann Coulter is having her jaw wired shut! Yes! Someone heard my prayers!

(I don't normally find joy in the suffering of others, but as that is what Coulter does for a living, I'm letting it all hang out!)

Friday, November 28, 2008

In Case You Are Confused, The United States Does Not Have a King

subtitle: Fun with Dog Whistles

For a more comprehensive review of dog whistling politics, please click the link above. In short, dog whistling politics is using words and phrases in speeches or articles that seem innocuous or even stupid, except to the group you are trying to secretly reach. See: every speech ever given by W. (The Slacktivist is make of win!)

For example, we have the following article from American Thinker (as unintentionally hilarious a website title as I've ever seen) which is rife with dog whistling. In the interest of full disclosure, I may not pick up all of the dog whistles here. The Slacktivist is better at it than me, because he grew up in the evangelical community.

A Damned Defeat, James Lewis

Yet I ... can say nothing --- no, not for a King,
Upon whose property and most dear life
A damned defeat was made!

Good job not crediting Shakespeare, moron! Yeesh, credit where credit is due.

So said Hamlet comma the Prince of Denmark comma, in the play of the same name by William Shakespeare, about the murder of the King, his father. Without my commentary, if you weren't familiar with the works of William Shakespeare, you might think this was an historical quote, not a scene in a play.

Well, we've just suffered a damned defeat, not as bad as the loss of a beloved father, but all the same a very bloody punch in the nose. I'm not sure where the comparisons and imagery here are going. Plus, unless your fist is already covered in blood for some reason, the punch itself isn't bloody. American conservatism has taken a trouncing *dances with glee*, and the country has itself a new King Obama as opposed to the old king obama? what? This is a dog whistle, invoking King Herod, the Roman client king of Judea when Jesus was born. According to gospel, he wanted to kill Jesus, and when the Magi wouldn't return to him to report Jesus' location, Herod had every child in and around Bethlehem under the age of 2 murdered. (This of course didn't achieve the desired goal because Jesus and his family fled to Egypt only to return after Herod's death.) Fundamentalists see Herod as the ultimate in evil.

Cardinal Stafford of Baltimore just declared in a published sermon everything on paper is impressive! that "On November 4, 2008, America suffered a cultural earthquake." I like "cultural earthquake" as a metaphor for the death of anti-intellectualism and the overthrow of the Republican party, but "suffered" isn't the right verb. I prefer "celebrated". He called Obama's campaign "aggressive, disruptive and apocalyptic" ummm . . . how? Obama took the high road and only attacked McCain/Palin on voting history and public actions. McCain and Palin dragged us all through the mud with them. Unless the Cardinal thinks that inciting a crowd to threats of murder and calling random black cameramen n***er is not agreesive and disruptive. Whatever you want to call it, that's hardly polite and civilized. and said he campaigned on an "extremist anti-life platform." We prefer to be called "prochoice." This drives me nuts. I could call prolifers "pro forced pregnancy", which is true. I could call them "pro punishing women for having sex". Also true. I could also call them "pro life until it exits the uterus." Again, true. But they want to be called prolife, so I call them prolife. Every group gets to define its own name.

On the matter of abortion the Cardinal is literally correct. By what definition of "literal"?

I don't think the Cardinal meant to dehumanize the President-elect, I'm sure he did. the way that President Bush has been dehumanized so thoroughly by the Left since 2000. Ummm . . . since when is calling someone on their mistakes dehumanizing? If I put the wrong name on a legal document and my boss points it out to me, am I being dehumanized? I think the word this guy is looking for is "villianized". This paragraph makes more sense that way. But telling the truth is the first step to recovery. Did we become addicts?

It is incumbent on us to tell the truth I doubt this guy would know the truth if it climbed up his pants and bit him in the balls, without scapegoating, and without denying the new administration a chance to find the center of American political life. He's assuming that the center of American political life is the anti-intellectual religious zealot brigade. Clearly not, or McCain would have won the election. If they are so inclined. I doubt Obama is inclined to pander to your nonsense, but go ahead and hold your breath.

However, judged by the open record, the coming administration will bring to power the most radical Leftist group of political operators in American history. Radical is a dog whistle. Radicals are dangerous. Radicals bomb buildings and kill children. Obama is not a radical anything. Health care for everyone? Those radical bastards! A 3% hike in the highest tax rate? Marxists! Their unapologetic radicalism on the subject of abortion is only part of their story, but it is surely the single most lethal and irresponsible part. Lethal? Obama is prochoice. He's not pro forced abortion. Yeesh. Their entire campaign was built on lies and image-making, mmm-hmmm. That's right. Tell yourself you lost because we're all deluded fools, not because we don't want your theocratic nonsense anymore. Dead soldiers is not a family value. People dying of preventable diseases, not a family value. People left homeless and starving, not a family value. At least not in my family. shielded by a solid stream of daily cover-ups by the Big Media, Yeah, because nobody reported on Bill Ayers or the Save the Aborted Babies Bill or the terrorists or the muslim or Palin's constant nonsense. and supported by tens of millions of brainwashed followers. That serves two purposes: brainwashing is what cults do, and cults are bad! This also implies that people who voted for Obama were not in their right minds. Had they been in their right minds, they would have voted McCain. It's the circular logo, you know. It's hypnotizing! (Someone actually said this. Yes, they did.)

So the Left got away with it.
We didn't win fair and square, we stole the show! The Democrats won, but democracy lost. The only way democracy loses is if the candidate who did not win the electoral and popular votes becomes President. (See: George W. Bush) WE WON! WE WON THE POPULAR VOTE AND THE ELECTORAL VOTE! GET OVER IT! Whew. I feel much better now.

And yet, all is not lost. No, it isn't, but I wouldn't expect this guy to see that.

American conservatives can celebrate one historic triumph: The performance of the New Media in this election. We can't lose sight of the fact that the New Media managed to expose Obama and his lifelong network. We did the job of real journalism.
Any American who wanted to know the truth was able to find it out with a few clicks on a keyboard. That is real journalism, not the phony imitation from the Old Media and its camp followers.

I found this very confusing. It's really not a good idea to use special terminology and not define it for the reader. I took me about four tries to figure out that the Old Media is CNN or FOX News or NBC. New Media is American Thinker. Now, had the "New Media" actually triumphed, would Obama have been elected? No. Apparently, we're using some other definition of "triumph." I suspect this is just self congratulation. Oh, and lifelong network of what? Supporters? Politicians? He's known these people his whole life? It seems so unlikely. Wait, wait, I got it. He's talking about muslims. MUSLIMS! You know, it's gotten to the point where I feel like apologizing whenever I see a muslim. "I'm an American non-muslim, and we're really big assholes. Sorry about that. I don't hate muslims. Really."

There is no secret any longer about the ideology of these people, or about their close alliances with Islamic radicals, destructive Leftist billionaires and Saudi influence buyers. Show your work. There is no doubt about their deep and entrenched roots in the Chicago Machine. Does it make shoes? Chicago Mayor Daley not that one. is on the transition team, and Chicago hardball pol Rahm Rahmbo! Emanuel is the White House Chief of Staff. This is the dream team of demagogues like J-Wright, Bill Ayers, Louis Farrakhan, and our sworn enemies abroad. who are our sworn enemies abroad? And when did I swear this oath? Is bin Laden really jumping for joy that Mayor Daley and Rahmbo! are in the White House? I doubt it. Unless the "house negro" comment was a compliment. About half the voters know it, and they will not forget it. Less than half, actually. That's how math works.

That simple fact --- that tens of millions of Americans are not deceived --- puts powerful pressure on the Dems to behave themselves, as least in public. Orgies with goats! Any dirty work will have to be done in the dark, where it can be exposed. Huh? Why do it in the dark if it can be exposed in the dark? Shouldn't the dirty work be done where it can't be exposed? Mixed metaphor at best.
Telling the truth is the first step. There's a song in there somewhere.

Between the web and talk radio the New Media did the job. Guess not, cuz Obama got elected, Obama got elected! A decade ago it would have been impossible. this explains much about the election of W. almost a decade ago. No interwebs! After a similar electoral loss, the legacy media would award itself Pulitzer Prizes in these circumstances. Who is the legacy media, what similar electoral loss, and what the hell is he talking about? I can't tell if some of this stuff is dog whistling, bad writing or bad thought processes. We should give the same kind of lasting recognition to brave and talented people like Stanley Kurtz, Andrew McCarthy, Jack Cashill, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Steyn,

We're stopping right here and examining what is a Pulitzer Prize and what qualifies one for a Pulitzer Prize.

From Wikipedia:

The Pulitzer Prize is an American award regarded as the highest national honor in newspaper journalism, literary achievements and musical composition I did not know that. I thought it was limited to journalism. It is administered by Columbia University in New York City.

Awards are made in categories relating to newspaper journalism, arts, and letters. Only published reports and photographs by United States-based newspapers or daily news organizations are eligible for the journalism prize. Beginning in 2007, "an assortment of online elements will be permitted in all journalism categories except for the competition's two photography categories, which will continue to restrict entries to still images.

You can see why none of the people listed in this article would be eligible for a Pulitzer. They are not journalists, and they do not produce published reports or photographs in United States-based newspapers or daily news organizations. They are bloggers, radio hosts and pundits. Rush Limbaugh getting a Pulitzer would be like me getting a Nobel Peace Prize. Hey, I didn't work for peace, but I deserve one, damnit!

and a host of others who exposed the Left's agenda, and kept us laughing in spite of the painful outcome for the country. Since when is comedy a deciding factor for a Pulitzer? Friends in the British and European blogosphere helped. Without the New Media, the truth about the Obamanoids are they like or unlike humanoids? would have been drowned in Lake Michigan --- with concrete boots on, like Jimmy Hoffa.
We did our part. We will keep doing it.
Lincoln went through hellish defeats before saving the Union and freeing the slaves. George Washington had nothing but pain and trouble before beating the professional armies of King George III. Winston Churchill looked like a goner more than once. And our troops in every single war, including Iraq, have suffered much worse, and
still kept their spirits up. Try the link, it doesn't work. Learn the interweb, James Lewis. Why do these people keep comparing themselves to people that would have liked Obama? Especially Lincoln. Palin did everything but call Obama a n***er, and this idiot is comparing himself to Lincoln? Wow.

Churchill showed us how to survive defeat and come back stronger.
"... never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never --- in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." That's not my sad attempt at linkage, that's his. Sheesh. Quit with the Churchill. When did Churchill become these idiots symbol? I get it! It's the name. Church-ill, get it?

Words to remember. Yes, but stop raping his memory, asshole!

What comes next? Four years of intelligent leadership. We need to repair ourselves and prepare to be counted in the coming battles. Dog whistle. Battles is inappropriate at best. This is politics, asshole, not war. We need to do it intelligently. Call Alanis Morisette, it's irony! Anti-intellectual religious zealots calling for intelligent action. Hee-hee. No banzai charges, but nimble guerilla warfare, like the Minutemen against the Redcoats. Dog whistle, dog whistle, dog whistle. See, these people, apparently never having read the Constitution or studied the lives of the Founding Fathers, think we were established as a Christian nation. So, they invoke the American Revolution at the drop of any hat. Read the Establishment Clause. We are not, nor were we ever, a theocracy. And we need to remind ourselves that the Hard Left will try to lock in its control of this country, you mean like the Republicans did? Throw stones much? just as it has in most of Europe. Evil, dissolute, sinning, satan-worshipping Europeans. That's a dog whistle and a half. Most fundavelagists think of Europe as a den of iniquity from which the Antichrist will spring forth. Yes, they frequently call Obama the antichrist, but Africa and Kansas are like Europe, right?That will be the biggest running battle, stop with the war analogies, please to stop the power grab that is even now taking hold silently behind the scenes. It's not very silent if you know all about it.

And if you need to keep your bearings straight, remember Obama's words on live-birth abortion, properly called infanticide: actually, he wasn't talking about third trimester abortion, which is what he is talking about. There isn't anything actually called live birth abortion. If it's "live birth" it's a delivery, not a damn abortion.
"Look, I got two daughters ... I am going to teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby." Yeah, I don't want my nieces to be punished this way either. Keep in mind, these are the people that cheered when an 11 year old rape victim was forced by her parents to carry and deliver her rapist's baby. Their excuse? They wanted to protect the "innocent child". What the 11 year old rape victim wasn't an innocent child? Oh yeah, that's right, she had a penis inserted in her vagina, so she wasn't innocent anymore.
Bear that in mind when Obama's famous charm is on display.
Today only, half off, Obama's charm!

History of Islam in India

This is a fascinating look at the history of Islam in India, with an eye towards understand the violence in Mumbai over the last few days.

As George Santayana said, "Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it." As true in personal relationships as it is in world politics.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Rush Limbaugh Says Palin Informed

It's finally happened: Rush Limbaugh has lost his final toehold on reality. We all saw this coming. It's not like he was really living here with the rest of us to begin with. (I wonder if he was a bombastic, egomaniacal child? Yet another reason I don't have kids.)

The following defense of Sarah Palin is priceless. It makes me wonder if he is thinking of someone else. Does he know some other Sarah Palin who is intelligent and educated and informed? Seriously, if my name were Sarah Palin, I would start using my middle name.

CALLER: Okay. My question... Well actually, before my question, I went to a McCain rally here in North Carolina, and a Palin rally otherwise known as a hate rally, two McCain rallies and one Palin rally so then I bought a sweater and a pair of jeans, and then two sweaters and another pair of jeans . . . and there were so many more people to see Palin than there was McCain yeah, hate rallies always were popular. And she has energized in my mind the base, the conservative base, like, "Hey, this is awesome!" and then I saw Miley Cyrus, and I was like, She's awesome! And, you know, a lot of people like me -- I'm 31 years old, a conservative -- we're thinking, "You know, Obama is in, but, hey, we had to go through Carter to get Reagan." There's a reason it's called "voodoo economics" These idiots always go on about Reagen being the greatest thing since the Republican party invented sunshine, why? The guy was far gone into Alzheimer's for his second term and this is their hero? It's very sad he was ill, and not his fault, but he should not have been President at that point. So I'm thinking we have to go through Obama to get Palin, unless Obama starts barbecueing puppies on the front lawn of the White House, unlikely but my question to you is: Why are all these Republicans out there, why don't they like her?

Seriously? This guy doesn't know why people don't like Palin? Let me count the ways: Ignorance, Arrogance, Hate Mongering, Complete lack of understanding of the position she was running for (the VP does NOT run the Senate). Palin wouldn't stand on the same stage as to Republicans who vote prochoice. How the hell was she supposed to fix the mess this country is in if she won't even stand next to people who disagree with her? How would she have dealt with foreign leaders if she can't make nice with USian leaders? It's insane.

RUSH: A-ha. A-ha. Okay, I want you to listen very carefully to this. Don't worry, Rush, we're all ears. It's a long answer that I'm going to try to make very brief. Not really. In the first place, when you say, "Why don't Republicans like her?" there's a whole bunch of different kinds of Republicans now. This is true. What comes next isn't. Like there's you and me, and we're conservative Republicans. Because liberal republican is a contradiction in terms. But we also have to deal with liberal and moderate or Rockefeller Republicans in our party. What was that, oxymorons on parade? So the party has lost its primary identity: strong national defense, tax cuts, smaller government. It's lost its identity. It doesn't believe smaller government is possible. The Republican Party has too many people who want the government to grow. Just spend the money on different groups of people in different ways in order to get votes. It's called liberalism lite. Nos, Rush, that's not the problem. The problem is the party has gone from the Buckleys of the world, intelligent, informed, passionate, to the Palins of the world, ignorant, bigoted, fundamentalists. The Republican party has been hijacked by anti-intellectual religious zealots. They want to turn our country into a theocracy, and have every university teach young earth creationsim. (see: Huckabee) They believe that prior to 1960 there was no premarital sex, no STDs, no teen pregnancy, no divorce, no abortion. In 1945, 90% of women had had premarital sex. Syphillis has been around forever. And my grandparents were married when my mother was born, but my grandmother was 17 and my mother was supposedly 3 months premature. Yeah, right. As for abortion, there were tens of thousands of abortions a year prior to Roe v. Wade, but because they were illegal, they frequently resulted in infection, sterility or death. (No matter what the prolifers say, abortion today is safer than pregnancy and childbirth, your only other option.)

They're calling it redefine conservatism. Sarah Palin makes them nervous because of precisely what you cited. She inspired and revved up a Republican Party to shout "n**ger" at a random black cameraman. Not something to be proud of . But there are people in the Republican Party who don't want it to stand for the things that she stands for. You'd think the Obama election would have taught everyone that standing for anti-intellectual religious zealoutry is a losing proposition. Guess not. I think her effectiveness is making her a target.

The Drive-By Media Anderson Cooper in a Ferrari! and the Democrat Party are also not fond of her no, Rush, we love her. We deperately want her to run in 2012. It went so well this time around., and they're doing everything they can to make her appear to be the face of the Republican Party, because they think most of the country despises her, too, based on exit polls. Did you just say that you love Sarah Palin? Yes. So why don't you want her to be the face of the party? Does Rush even listen to the words that come out of his mouth? You know, Barbara Walters in the interview I did with her last week asked, "You like Palin?"

I said, "I absolutely do." I said, "I think she was great." I said, "Why don't you like her?"

"She was uninformed," Barbara Walters said I'm guessing Barbara was thinking what I think about Palin. Almost 50 years of feminism and this dizzy bitch makes us all look bad. Thanks for setting us back 20 years, Palin, and a light went off in my head, because there is the template. The one interview she did with Katie Couric and they've all decided she's an idiot and she's uninformed. It wasn't just that one interview, Rush. The debate and every subsequent interview and her rallies proved her ignorance and bigotry. She couldn't open her mouth without making herself look bad. They do not know that there were people in the McCain campaign trying to sabotage her Yeah, sure. The McCain campaign was sabotaging THEIR OWN CANDIDATE. Hello? and that she was under tight controls, and she finally wanted to bust out unfortunate imagry and be who she is an ignorant, zealous bigot. Those of us that pay attention saw enough of who she is to realize that she is incredibly valuable to the conservative cause and the Republican Party going forward. *giggles and rubs hands together with glee* But to those that don't like her it's simply because of that, Tim, she's effective and she threatens the old boy network. Yeah, that's what it is. I resent her threatening the old boy netword. Because, as a 32 year old woman, I'm deeply invested in the old boy network. It's not a gender thing. True. She threatens the old boy network, but I'm telling you this is a fundamental thing to understand.

We can talk about Obama all we want here, and we can try to educate people as to what's coming down the pike. Health care for everyone! Soldiers out of Iraq! But one of the larger battles we have before we even talk about trying to defeat Obama again is defining who we are as a political party, because there is a huge battle going on. True. Try to pry the anti-intellectual religious zealots out of there, Rush. Good luck with that. There are so many factions of the Republican Party now, and many of them are gutless. How do they eat? Many of them, when they get to Washington, after being elected, go wobbly, they turn moderate because they think that's what you have to be to get along. We just ran a presidential campaign based on being moderate and reaching out to all these liberal Democrat voters, thinking that's the only way we can win, ignoring the blueprint for landslide victory. Yeah, McCain was so middle of the road. Yup. We got people who think we need to rerun this campaign over and over again. We gotta get rid of our conservative ideology. Arnold Schwarzenegger says we've gotta drop conservatism from the Republican Party. If the Arnold means religious zealoutry he's right. We've got our conservative intelligentsia wise men, these people in the media who also think that the worst thing that could happen to the Republican Party is to listen to me. Rush apparently doesn' learn from history. He is doomed to repeat it. So Tim, I'm telling you, we have a huge battle to define -- and the Republican Party is it because that's the only party that's going to oppose Democrats, well, duh, we have a two party system. and there's going to be a big battle for control of it. In many ways it's subtly already started, and it's going to intensify once next year gets going and Obama's actually inaugurated.


I'm beginning to wonder if even Rush believes his own bullshit.

Thanksgiving Shorts

blahblahblah Happy Thanksgiving! blahblahblah

That's about as holiday cheery as I get.

Just a couple of shorts as I sit here attempting to digest:

From WorldNetDaily, my favorite purveyor of christian persecution porn and antiobama porn, the title of an article: Kenya: I Don't Know if Obama Born in US: Ambassador suggests question be put to US government. Well, duh. Why don't we poll every country in the world and see how often we get that answer?

Then WND linked this article. They must not have read it. You can give it a try if you're not up on the whole Obama citizenship pseudo debate. (He's MUSLIM! TERRORIST! BLACK! Have you people noticed yet that HE's BLACK!)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Finally, a War We Can Win!

Yeah, I know, the war in Afghanistan and the war in Iraq are such bummers. They drag on and on, we have no clear goals, and I can't imagine how to even define "win" in these situations. (Apparently, both McCain and Palin could, but combined they have the IQ of a rutabaga, so we'll ignore them.)

So, celebrate with me as I introduce to you a war we can win: the War on Christmas. Yeah!

Conservatives and fundamentalist whackjobs can't win a war with all the bombs in the Middle East, but atheists can win a war we aren't even waging. Go us! (It's the chainsaw gun, you just can't lose with a chainsaw gun.)

On November 21, 2005, Bill O'Reilly wrote an article about how the "War" on Christmas is part of "secular progressive agenda" that includes "legalization of narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will, gay marriage." Free narcotics for everyone! Death for all! Teh Gay!

This article, from Nov 23 of this year, states that Bill O'Reilly has "surrendered to the War on Christmas"! See, the same guy who apparently thinks that using the word "holiday" rather than "Christmas" will cause the end of Christianity has a "Holiday reading list"! Bill O'Reilly made Jesus cry!

Really, why aren't these people happy? They want so desperately to win a war, no matter how many people die or how worthless winning is in the situation. We gave them a win. Huzzah for the secular humanist atheist Satan-worshippers! (We're a little confused.)

Naughty or Nice?

I love the word naughty. I aspire to be naughty. Mostly I achieve nice with occasional moments of bitchiness. *sigh*

So, check out the Friend or For Christmas Campaign Naughty and Nice List. It's high-larious!

See, here's the thing: There is no war on Christmas. Let me repeat that: there is no war on Christmas.

This is all part of the Christian Persecution Complex, as discussed in my previous post. To recap: Christians in the US are not persecuted. They are free to practice their religion however they please. Everyone else is free to do the same. Therein lies the rub. CPC fetishists don't want everyone else to be free to worship, or not, as they please, they want to turn the US into a theocracy and force everyone to worship as they do. Do I need to explain why this is a not good idea?

This war on Christmas idea seems to stem from the belief that if everyone isn't saying "Merry Christmas" and putting up Christmas decorations and celebrating Christmas, then . . . Jesus ceases to exist?

Look at the Naughty and Nice List. There is no mention of Christmas as a religious holiday, no mention of Jesus, just a list of stores that say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". What does Jesus care about that? What does that have to do with religion at all?

Let's try an example. Jews celebrate Passover. Passover is a huge deal for them. Passover is not a national holiday, there are no Passover decorations, no Passover tv specials, no Passover cards. Yet, somehow, the Jews still manage to celebrate Passover. Those brave, valiant souls. Puhlease.

You don't need me to validate your religion. You want to worship, go for it. I will defend your right to do so. Just do me a favor and leave me out of it.

Rapturous Ramadan, everyone!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Persecuted Christians!

The Atheists are coming! The Atheists are coming! (Apparently, that is the official atheist logo. I had no idea. I like it: it's colorful, textured and vaguely Star Treky. Fishes got nothing on us, baby! And, since I think that is a hydrogen atom- only one electron- we're explosive!)

More from the fundamentalist whackjobs that think US christians are persecuted. Yes, really. No, I did not make this shit up. I don't have to.

Standing with the King by Ron Graham

blahblahblah Noah was supernaturally covered by the Lord (inciting porn imagery) blahblahblah

Certainly we too have this supernatural covering as we face adversities in our walk with Jesus. In “Foxe’s Book of Martyrs” we can read of numerous occasions where Christians were being put through the most horrible of deaths, and eye witnesses exclaimed as they watched the faces of those being put to death “Their faces seemed as angels smiling to the end.” How is that possible? Only through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit can we Christians stand in the face of such horrendous tortures and persecutions. Actually, if you were being tortured to death, wouldn't you be happy when it was finally over? This happens to people who have been suffering horribly from terminal cancer or other such lingering, painful diseases. At the end, it doesn't hurt anymore. Good enough reason to smile for me.

Moving on to: If you won't let me do anything to you I want, dictate your life and trash the Constitution, you are persecuting me!

I’m not saying I believe we are going to experience anything like those I’ve mentioned then why bring it up? seriously, stop with the persecution porn but I do believe persecution of the Christian Church is coming. Show your work. It would be quite arrogant of us Christians living here in the U.S. to think we are immune. Comparing the US to places like communist Russia or China or the Middle East is illogical and dirty. We have a Constitution that separates church and state. This protects religion as much as it protects the rest of us. In order for the persecution of Christians to occur, someone would have to legislate away both the Establishment Clause and the Free Exercise Clause. Good luck with that. What kind of persecutions are coming you might ask? Well, yeah! Well certainly we are already witnessing some of it today. Oh, really?

Watch the news and you’ll see the agenda of the homosexuals hard at work persecuting the Church. Of course it's Teh Gay, the mightiest of all evils. The slacktivist did a wonderful series on how Teh Gay became the greatest of all evils in the fundavelagist community. You should read it. I was surprised at how recently Teh Gay has become the focus of Teh Hate. All homosexuals want is to be left alone. Surprisingly, they don't like being the focus of all that hate any more than I would. (Actually surprisingly, as an atheist, I get a lot less hate.) Homosexuals want civil rights, they want to stop being discriminated against, they want to stop being the victims of violence. What is wrong with that?

Do not post one of those ridiculous screeds about how the bible condemns homosexuality. First of all, this only occurs in Leviticus, which is the book of Jewish law. Leviticus also condemns as "an abomination" the eating of shellfish. Lev 11:9-12 Do Christians not eat shrimp? Of course they eat shrimp. They ignore everything else in Leviticus, but keep the gay-hating. Nice.

Do not post some idiotic rant about how Teh Gay ruins marriages. I have yet to see anyone prove that, and I doubt you will either. Then I will have to engage you in conversation that will make me feel dirty, and I can't afford to keep heating water for shower after shower.

Laws are being formulated and progressed to systematically eliminate God’s Holy Word from all venues in our public arenas. Those are not new laws. Rexamine the Establishment Clause if you need to. That was the original intent of the framers of the Constitution. Besides, no one is taking your bible away from you, so how does not having the 10 commandments in the courthouse persecute christians. You are still welcome to follow and preach your religion all you want. Just not on publicly (owned by everyone, atheists included!) property. Never in the history of the English printed Bible what? What the hell is the reference here? Oh yeah, Aramaic and Hebrew and Greek versions were wrong, because god loves English best. Which is why Jesus was an Aramaic-speaking orthodox Jew! God really does work in mysterious ways. has there been such a determination to remove it and deliver it to its final resting place, a heap of burning Bibles. Again, persecution porn. Has the governemnt of the ever US fired up a heap of bibles? No. Is anyone suggesting it, trying to pass bills to that effect? No.

Around the world today Christians are being persecuted, abused, discriminated against, and martyred for adhering to their faith in Jesus Christ. In countries not the US, some of them, this is true. It's very sad. It's why the Establishment and Free Expression Clauses are so very important.

See, this idiot never thought this through. Clearly. Suppose we do set up a theocracy. Right now, Christianity in general is the dominant religion in the country (76.5% self identify as Christian). What specific type of Christianity is dominant? Catholicism. (24.5% self identify as Catholic, compared to 16.3% Baptist, which I'm guessing is what Graham is.) So, if we were to set up a theocracy, we'd have to go with Catholicism, because they're the most numerous. I guarantee Mr. Graham would jump for joy on hearing the US was a theocracy, and then spit up his skull upon hearing he had been involutarily converted to Catholicism.

That might be worth seeing. Except for being Catholic again. I didn't really like it the first time. Oh well.

Freedom of religion is of the past, intolerance toward Christians is the order of the day. Are we discussing Iran or something? Most country’s governments today are involved in silencing the Christian’s voice in one way or another. I guess it depends upon what you mean by "most". I really couldn't find any good data on this, because a search for "christian persecution" gives me pages and pages of this sort of persecution porn. Living in the US though, I can definitively say that christians in the US are not persecuted. They're just not allowed to persecute me. Which is no fun at all, apparently.

No they won’t admit it. Because it's not true! Conspiracy theory porn. None the less is one word, they are hard at it and won’t be satisfied until their satanic mission is complete. That's right! I refuse to allow you to turn my fine democracy into a theocracy and force convert me to your insanity because I'm a Satan worshipper. You caught me. Damn you, Ron Graham! Who's unamerican again?

God will not be mocked, revenge porn and if this new administration coming soon on the scene believes it can run the United States of America without God Obama is christian, but he clearly believes that god is not part of the equation for running the US, as is clearly stated in the constitution, they certainly have another thing coming, the correct expression is "they have another think coming" and I’m being very serious seriously? when I say this. God is in control not of the US, thank god and with His Church being under such pressure to assimilate into the new culture being promoted nobody is asking you to . . . assimilate? What, atheists are Borg now?He will take drastic measures to free us from such bondage. WHAT FREAKIN' BONDAGE? Does this guy ever actually read the bible? The Israelites were under bondage to the Pharaoh. You're allowed to worship any way you want, as much as you want, with whomever you want. How is that persecution?

Don’t be fooled into believing the lie of our newly elected president that we need change. Economy is in freefall, unemployment up, foreclosures the highest since the Great Depression, people homeless, starving, uninsured, banks and businesses failing right and left-- Yes, we do need change. Absolutely we do.

When he makes that statement he’s talking about changing our current Christian nation into an atheistic, socialistic, humanistic, Satan following nation of fools.

Wow. Ok, let's tackle these one at a time:

(1) socialistic. The current highest tax rate is 36%. Obama wants to make it 39%. At what point in the 3% difference does this become socialism?

(2) humanistic. I'm not sure why this is a dirty word to fundavangelicals. This is the definition of humanism: a broad category of ethical philosophies that affirm the dignity and worth of all people, based on the ability to determine right and wrong by appealing to universal human qualities, particularly rationality. Why is that bad? Ummmm . . . it's not based on god? Dignity and worth are still good whether you got the idea from god or not. Maybe it's the rationality part. After all, if you started thinking, you might think about what Graham says, and then you'd realize how stupid he is, and he would be out of a job. Thinking is not good for Ron Graham.

(3) the juxtaposition of atheist and Satan-following. A Satan worshipping atheist is an oxymoron. You cannot be an atheist and a Satan worshipper. Atheists specifically do not believe in any gods at all. Therefore, we do not believe in Satan. I am no more a Satan worshipper than I am a Santa worshipper, or a Tooth Fairy worshipper.

Christians, hold on to God’s promises. Which you are completely free to do in the US. Be as steadfast as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were in their time and don’t let an evil king sway you in your beliefs. Our only King is King Jesus and we adhere to His word for our lives. Obama isn't a king, he's President, well, will be President, and nobody is required to worship the US President. In fact, you are entirely free to make fun of him, hate him, protest against him, or anything else you'd like short of threatening his safety. In fact, Ron Graham takes advantage of this freedom all the time. Pray for our nation and our newly elected Presidential administration, but don’t be lulled to sleep; stay vigilant in your walk with Christ. Ah, prayer as a threat. Lovely.

How do we believers occupy ‘til He comes? By holding fast to our faith in Christ. Never stop studying God’s word. Just as important, and imperative, is our continued witnessing to the lost.
Yeesh. You are free to to believe anything you like. Leave me out of it. Even though we are growing closer to the Rapture of His Church, Rapture porn! we are aware that Jesus is still saving lives and He will continue with or without a God fearing U.S. President. Exactly. God doesn't need the US to establish a theocracy, any more than God would need a starship.

Are you the antichrist if the prophecy isn't christian?

I should stop letting the general craziness of the fearful surprise me. Too many people, and I have no idea if this is limited to the US or not, are so afraid of the future that they latch right onto the most terrifying, horrible vision of the future they can find. (See: premillenial dispensationalism) So, rather than accept that Obama won, the Republiscum lost and the country won't be turned into a theocracy anytime soon, they are convinced Obama heralds THE END OF THE WORLD. (Imagine it in that booming, overpronounced movie preview voice.) Oh, and if you hold this particular world view, not burning the Constitution and turning the US into a theocracy is persecution of christians. We're so mean to them.

Enjoy my dissection of the latest Jack Kelley of RaptureReady fame article.

Two Non-Biblical Prophecies

The first one is very controversial and I offer no opinion as to its validity ummmm . . . really? You have no opinion on prophecies from nonchristians? You'd think the standard answer to that would be "If it's not what I think is in the bible, it's not true" or my reaction, "there's no such thing as prophecy", except that I've received it from several independent news sources. Just because several people repeated the same rumor/idea doesn't make it fact. If 3 different people tell me the earth is flat, I don't have to accept this as true.I have been able to confirm that Johanwa Owalo was who this prophecy says he was and that it apparently came from a document copyrighted in 1915. It's copyrighted, it must be true! Harry Potter is copyrighted, too. Should I be concerned about Voldemort? Readers are cautioned to conduct their own research before accepting it as authentic. That is not the accepted use of the word "research".

“Q. Is Barak Obama the “Son of Kenya” foretold by the great *giggles* 19th Century actually, since Owalo didn't convert until 1900, he would be a 20th Century blahblahblah. You always name the century by one more than the actual number. 18th Century poets are from the 1700's. Kenyan Prophet, Johanwa Owalo, the founder of Kenya’s Nomiya Luo Church?

It took a little doing, but I was able to find this:

In Kenya there are also several independent Christian churches that have broken ties with other Christian or Protestant denominations. The largest of these independent churches was the Nomiya Luo Church, whose founder, Johana Owalo, was an early convert to Christianity in 1900. In 1907 he had a vision in which he was taken up into heaven by the angel Gabriel. He saw that Europeans and Asians, and even the popes,were not allowed to enter heaven. Later, he converted to Islam and began to preach that mission churches were in opposition to traditional beliefs. His mix of Christian, Anglican, and traditional practices attracted many followers. In Kenya today there are still many mission churches. Many worldwide religious groups have a strong presence. The number of Kenyan clergy has grown in the past years and most of the Roman Catholic and Church Province of Kenya hierarchies are Kenyan

A. Among the Kenyan people of the Luo religion Owalo is believed to be a prophet similar to Jesus Christ and Muhammad, and who in 1912 made this horrific prophecy about the United States:

'So far have they [the United States] strayed into wickedness in those [future] times that their destruction has been sealed by my [father]. Their great cities will burn, their crops and cattle will suffer disease and death, their children will perish from diseases never seen upon this Earth, and I reveal to you the greatest [mystery] of all as I have been allowed to see that their [the United States] destruction will come about through the vengeful hands of one of our very own sons.'

So, some guy from Kenya, who converted from religion to religon and had a few visions, had something mean to say about the US, and we should be concerned about this why? I suppose Osama bin Laden is a prophet now, too? This is what happens when you get prophecy on the brain.

The next one comes from a it was Forbes, it must be true! article dated 10-26-08 by Amir Taheri, author of 10 books on Iran, the Middle East and Islam. He can write! It must be true!

“Q. Is Barack Obama the "promised warrior" coming to help the Hidden Imam of Shiite Muslims conquer the world? The "promised warrior" of the Shi'a is Christian? How awkward.

A. This question has made the rounds in Iran since last month, when a pro-government Web site published a Hadith (or tradition) from a Shiite text of the 17th century. or maybe the 18th The tradition comes from Bahar al-Anvar (meaning Oceans of Light) by Mullah Majlisi, a magnum opus in 132 volumes and the basis of modern Shiite Islam. Plagiarism alert! Kelley directly lifted this exact sentence from an article by Amir Taheri on November 3, 2008. Nice.

I tried to find translations of Bhara al-Anvar (I'm having a lot of trouble trying to teach myself Arabic.) and couldn't find anything. The prevailing wisdom in the muslim community is that if you want to be a muslim, you should learn Arabic. Reasonable, but frustrating for my immediate purposes.

According to the tradition, Imam Ali Ibn Abi-Talib (the prophet's cousin and son-in-law) prophesied that at the End of Times and just before the return of the Mahdi, the Ultimate Saviour, a "tall black man will assume the reins of government in the West." Even having not read the text, I can tell you two things: (1) blacks were not called "black" in the 1600's. I won't repeat what they were called, other than African. So, if the word "black" actually was used, there is undoubtedly some cultural significance to the time and place the Imam spoke from that is entirely different from the way we use that word today. (2) "government in the west" would not have been a reference to the US in the 1600's, mostly because the US did not become a country until 1776. The US did not become a world power until well after that. Yes, I know, prophets see the future, but they use the language of their day. "Government in the west" could have referred to the British Empire (huge in those days) or to some Middle Eastern country west of the Imam's location. Remember: Shi'a and Sunni rivalry has erupted into violence little short of genocide on numerous occasions. The Imam could well have been speaking of some Sunni rival.

Commanding "the strongest army on earth," the new ruler in the West will carry "a clear sign" from the third imam, whose name was Hussein Ibn Ali. Yes, Yes, Yes, Obama's middle name is "Hussein". It's one of the most common names in the world. Millions of men are named Hussein. There's nothing special about that outside of the US. The tradition concludes: "Shiites should have no doubt that he is with us."
In a curious coincidence Obama's first and second names--Barack Hussein--mean "the blessing of Hussein" in Arabic and Persian.
"Hussein" means "good" or "handsome one". So, if you're going to translate names, go all the way: Barack Hussein means: blessing of the handsome one. His family name, Obama, written in the Persian alphabet, reads O Ba Ma, which means "he is with us," the magic formula in Majlisi's tradition.” This is irrelevent and bizarre. My last name could be dissected to "will i am", but what the hell does that have to do with anything?

The above paragraph was plagiarized, as well.

From these secular sources actually, Muslim prophecy/tradition is not a secular source. It is a religious source. it appears that people from diverse backgrounds believe that a leader matching Mr. Obama's description could appear in the last days, and that his impact will not be good for America. Time will tell. Lots of crazy people have latched onto the first black US President as a bad thing. And?

The rest of the article is blahblahblah could be the antichrist blahblahblah fasten your seat belts blahblahblah

Monday, November 24, 2008

Calling Rush Limbaugh for Spiritual Advice

subtitle: If you didn't hear about Obama's baby-killing ways, you were in a coma for the last year.

RUSH: Terri in Charlotte, North Carolina, welcome to the EIB Network. Hello.

CALLER: Thanks, Rush. I'm so happy and nervous to talk to you. Yeah, I'd be nervous to talk to Rush, too. Of course, I'd be worried about having a stroke or a seizure out of pure, unadulterated hatred, but yeah, nervous.

RUSH: Don't be nervous. Don't be nervous. I bet vampires say this, too.

CALLER: I have a question for you. I know you're not a spiritual advisor, but perhaps you can help me out. *7up spewed all over my screen at this point* When I found out that the majority of Catholics voted for Obama I've had trouble as a Catholic attending church without some animosity toward my fellow parishioners. This woman wants Rush to help her feel less hateful? lollerskatz! Besides, which fellow parishioners is she hating? How does she know who voted McCain, who voted Obama and who didn't vote at all? Is she just resenting everyone? This lady has some serious issues if she is walking into church on Sunday, and her first thought is, "I don't know which one of you did it, but I hate you all." And I was wondering if you had any advice as to, you know... the name of a good psychiatrist?

RUSH: Yeah, I do.


RUSH: I'm not a spiritual advisor, nor am I a spiritual counselor, but you can't control what they do anyway and as such you should not let anything they do make you feel, I mean, it's going to make you feel sad or unhappy but it shouldn't ruin your day. It's their life that they're toying with, not yours. They haven't messed with your values. They didn't. This is, and I'm choking as I write it, good advice overall. He's right. Somebody else's values don't affect yours. I don't know if the word's corrupt --

CALLER: Right.

RUSH: -- your beliefs and so forth, but, if anything, after you get mad at 'em, you might want to spend some time feeling a little sympathy for them because it's inexplicable to people who are fervent believers in the sanctity of life -- and we're off. Why is it that prolifers only seem to care about life up until the point it exits the womb? They're against birth control and abortion, and also against welfare, wic, food stamps, school lunches, section 8, homeless shelters and an end to war. Is life no longer sacred once it's breathing?

CALLER: Right. just say it. Ditto.

RUSH: -- and are members of a religion that is unbending on that, Here's the funny thing, Rush. Thinking people allow more than religion to inform their choices. Also, a local Catholic priest pointed out something very true (and surprising from a priest) about values and the sanctity of life. Voters voted more on the economy than anything else. Abortions increase significantly in a poor economy, because abortion isn't about not wanting a child or promiscuity, it's about economic reality. So, voting in a way that you believe will improve the economy will save lives, perhaps more than voting prolife. (After all, the Republicans have controlled the White House for 8 years and controlled everything for 4 and abortion still legal.)to sit around and vote Where did these people get to vote? There were no seats at my polling place. for somebody who's not just pro-choice. This is a man who voted three times for legislation to allow babies born alive in botched abortions not to be saved because the mother's original intent was to abort the child. I mean, that's infanticide. Actually, Obama voted against a bill that would have undermined the legal right to abortion. The bill was also unnecessary. Doctors do not choose to save or not save a baby born alive after a failed abortion (this almost never happens, by the way) based upon the mother's original intent. Once the baby is born alive, it becomes a patient, as well, and the doctor is honorbound to follow the directives of their oath and the AMA to attempt to save it.


RUSH: You know what? I'd give them the benefit of the doubt, based on what we have learned from polling data. A lot of Obama voters simply didn't know anything about what he stood for, and I would bet you a bunch of the Catholics that voted for him don't even know what his pro-abortion position is, because he wasn't asked constantly. Abortion was barely mentioned in debates. I bet a lot of people didn't know about it, Terri. While it is true that abortion was not mentioned in the debates, Obama's votes and his stance on abortion could not have been mentioned more often unless every person appearing on the news wore a sign that read, "Obama is prochoice." Catholic priests and bishops all over the country were hammering on this in the weeks leading up to the election. If you didn't know Obama was prochoice prior to the election, you were in a coma for the previous 2 years.

You know what this is about? The conservatives are unwilling to believe that Obama won, fair and square, because the majority of USians wanted him to be President. Conservatives also don't want to admit that their "values" and tactics are no longer held by the majority of USians. So, they resort to these mental tricks of pretending that no news station ever told anyone that Obama was prochoice. It wasn't that the US was sick and freakin' tired of letting the Republicans ruin this country, it's that people just didn't know what they were getting into.


Hope for Feminism

I am a feminist. I am not ashamed of this, as the Ann Coulters and Focus on Familys think I should be. In fact, the older I get, the more of a feminist I become.

The media, with its airbrushing and bump obsession, makes me despair for feminism in general, and for my younger feminist-in-training sisters all over the world. Every image you see these days is airbrushed into impossibility, and no matter how hard I try, I can't ignore the incipient crepiness of my hands, or the lines around my eyes, or the grey hair popping up on top and down below.

The worst part? Most people assume I am in my mid twenties, not my mid thirties. I've had coworkers and acquaintances demand to see my license. So, I am obsessing and despairing over nothing. I can't seem to help it.

So, I was very happy to see Make Me Heal, a message board for those considering plastic surgery. (WARNING: if you choose, you can see pictures of vaginas and penises and nipples on this site. If you are under 18, or easily offended by naked people, do not click on this site.)

In essence, people post pictures of what they are planning on surgically rearranging in order to meet the current, unattainable and often bizarre standard of beauty, and people comment on whether or not they should have the surgery done.

The most common answer? No.

Random strangers evaluate pictures of perfectly average, and frequently very beautiful, people and the most common response is "You look perfect the way you are. Don't do it."

Why does this make me so happy? Because clearly the average person isn't buying what the media is selling. Because there is hope for feminism. Because, for all of my fear and obsession and despair, I'm pretty, too. I must be. It's ok that I'm almost 33.

Also, if you are a woman, I would highly recommend looking at the vagina pictures. I've always been a little self conscious about mine, because I have no idea if it normal or not. (How many vaginas do you have to compare yours to?) As it turns out, everyone's is different, and guys (and I would imagine lesbians) like all vaginas equally. So, whichever you prefer, your partner will be fine with it.

So no surgery, ok? Especially not down there.

Jesurgislac is Full of Win

Jesurgislac , whose blog is full of win*, has promised me that if I post this on my blog, I will stop this country from being evil. Worth a try.

You know, I’ve studied history, I’ve read about America and you know something, if it weren’t for liberals, we’d be living in a dark, evil country, far worse than anything Bush could conjure up. A world where children were told to piss on the side of the road because they weren’t fit to pee in a white outhouse, where women had to get back alley abortions and where rape was a joke, unless the alleged criminal was black, whereupon he was hung from a tree and castrated.
What has conservatism given America? A stable social order? A peaceful homelife? Respect for law and order? No. Hell, no. It hasn’t given us anything we didn’t have and it wants to take away our freedoms.The Founding Fathers, as flawed as they were, slaveowners and pornographers, smugglers and terrorists, understood one thing, a man’s path to God needed no help from the state. Is the religion of these conservatives so fragile that they need the state to prop it up, to tell us how to pray and think? Is that what they stand for? Is that their America?

Conservatism plays on fear and thrives on lies and dishonesty. I grew up with honest, decent conservatives and those people have been replaced by the party of greed. It is one thing to want less government interference and smaller, fiscally responsible government. It is another thing entirely to be a corporate whore, selling out to the highest bidder because the CEO fattens your campaign chest. They are building an America which cannot be sustained. One based on the benefit of the few at the cost of the many. The indifferent boss who hires too few people and works them to death or until they break down sick. Cheap labor capitalism has replaced common sense. “Globalism” which is really guise for exploitation, replaced fair trade, which is nothing like fair for the trapped semi-slaves of the maquliadoras. In the Texas border towns, hundreds of these women have been used as sex slaves and then apparently killed,the FBI powerless to do anything as the criminals sit in Mexico untouched by law.

For the better part of a decade, the conservatives made liberal a dirty word. Well, it isn’t. It represents the best and most noble nature of what America stands for: equitable government services, old age pensions, health care, education, fair trials and humane imprisonment. It is the heart and soul of what made American different and better than other countries. Not only an escape from oppression, but the opportunity to thrive in land free of tradition and the repression that can bring. We offered a democracy which didn’t enshrine the rich and made them feel they had an obligation to their workers.

Bush and the people around him disdain that. They think, by accident of birth and circumstance, they were meant to rule the world and those who did not agree would suffer.
Liberal does not and has not meant weak until the conservatives said it did. Was Martin Luther King weak? Bobby Kennedy? Gene McCarthy? It was the liberals who remade this country and ended legal segregation and legal sexism. Not the conservatives, who wanted to hold on to the old ways.

It’s time to regain the sprit of FDR and Truman and the people around them. People who believed in the public good over private gain. It is time to stop apologizing for being a liberal and be proud to fight for your beliefs. No more shying away or being defined by other people. Liberals believe in a strong defense and punishment for crime. But not preemption and pointless jail sentences. We believe no American should be turned away from a hospital because they are too poor or lack a proper legal defense. We believe that people should make enough from one job to live on, to spend time on raising their family. We believe that individuals and not the state should dictate who gets married and why. The best way to defend marriage is to expand, not restrict it.

It was the liberals who opposed the Nazis while the conservatives were plotting to get their brown shirts or fund Hitler. It was the liberals who warned about Spain and fought there, who joined the RAF to fight the Germans, who brought democracy to Germany and Japan. Let us not forget it was the conservatives who opposed defending America until the Germans sank our ships. They would have done nothing as Britain came under Nazi control. It was they who supported Joe McCarthy and his baseless, drink fueled claims.

Without liberals, there would be no modern America, just a Nazi satellite state. Liberals weak on defense? Liberals created America’s defense. The conservatives only need vets at election time.
It is time to stop looking for an accomodation with the right. They want none for us. They want to win, at any price. So, you have a choice: be a fighting liberal or sit quietly. I know what I am, what are you?

I'm a fighting liberal, Steve Gilliard, 2003

*wins teh internets!

That Is the Question

Apparently, fearmongering is the way to go with conservatives/fundamentalists/Republicans. I found McCain/Palin's fearmongering obnoxious and offensive, but, in reviewing conservafundican articles over the last few weeks, I have found one underlying theme: fear. (And racism. And crazy. But today's blog is about fear.)

This brings us to "To Fear or Not to Fear" by Faith Noles.

The week following this 2008 presidential election has left many feeling as if they have just walked through a cold mortuary filled with the post mortem remains of a once beautiful and blessed America. I’ve seen the solemn expressions of prophecy teachers and anointed preachers who have spoken since the election. I’ve seen the down cast faces of faithful believers who have passionately prayed for the healing and redemption of this nation. Many are disheartened and may even feel as if God has not heard their prayers.

This is not the first "America is dead now that you idiots have elected Obama" article since November 5. This handwringing over the US's corpse before Obama has even taken office is silly at first glance. My first thought was, "What kind of power do they imagine the President has?" Then I thought about all the shit Bush has done in the last 8 years- free falling stock market, severely depressed housing market, wire tapping, two wars, etc.- and I realized this wasn't silly. Then I thought, but Obama is going to at least to attempt to undo those things. Then it hit me.

These people think Bush did a good job. Think about that. Economy in the toilet, thousands wounded and dying in Afganistan and Iraq, foreclosures in the millions, people in the US starving, unable to afford medication or heat, and they're afraid this will end.

The worst part is, if the faithful really did pray for redemption and healing, then God did answer their prayers. McCain/Palin would have given us neither of those things. (I doubt they were really praying for redemption and healing, though. More like, "Please god, don't let that MUSLIM!TERRORIST!HE'sBLACK! in office.")

David Wilkerson wrote in his book, God’s Plan To Protect His People In The Coming Depression that “Every serious follower of Christ has to realize America deserves the full fury of God’s wrath”. Not an authority on anything. History is filled with examples of God’s judgment upon wicked nations. With the election of Obama, Christians in America see the ‘writing on the wall’ and know that God’s judgment on America is right at hand. Yeah, God was following the election on CNN. Now he will punish even those who voted for McCain for the election of Obama. Because god doesn't understand how the electoral college works.

This is appalling for two reasons. First, history is not full of examples of God's judgment, it is filled with natural disasters and miscalculations and human error, and above all, tragedy, misfortune and suffering. To attribute this as the just action of god is to ignore the tragedy and suffering. It is also to place oneself above the sufferer. "You deserved what you got, sucker, and it's never going to happen to me. Nyah, nyah, nyah."

This is monstrous.

I do believe that America is about to be judged. However, God wants to remind His children that He is still on the throne. Billy Graham once made the statement “God is unchanging in His love. He loves you. He has a plan for your life. Don’t let the newspaper headlines frighten you. God is still sovereign; He’s still on the throne.” God has not changed. Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.” Malachi 3:6 “For I am the Lord, I change not.” None of the events of this old sinful world has taken God by surprise.

Yeah, I dunno. Random bible quotes. But think about what Ms. Noles says. Basically, god is going to spank us all while saying, "this hurts me more than it hurts you . . . but yeah, you're all going to die in the plague. it'll be a horrible way to die. but more painful for me."

Yes, he's back: God as abusive parent with serious self esteem issues! Why would anyone want to worship this guy, anyway? He makes Satan sound like the better option, if you have to choose one.

I will spare you the list of random, tangentially related bible quotes. (Just open a bible to a random page and point at random to a verse. Do this 8 times and you'll get the picture.) Then we get this delightful story:

There’s a story about a mother hen who overshadowed her baby chick with her wing during a tall grass fire. Afterwards, the farmer walked over the burnt field to assess the damage of his property. He stood still when he saw something move underneath a hen that had died in the fire. He picked up the charred wing of the mother hen and there laid her baby chick untouched by the scorching flames. . .

. . . but dead of smoke inhalation. No really, think about that. What does that mean in this context? That god- GOD!- is powerless to prevent the coming judgment? That god will die protecting us? My mom will die protecting me? If you're going to use analogies to make your point, make sure they actually do make your point. Otherwise you get this confusing mess.

What a comfort to know that you abide under the shadow of God Almighty! Years ago, during an especially trying time in my life, I prayed “Oh God are You here?” Someone had threatened my life and ridiculed my relationship with God. What? What the hell is she talking about? Did some guy hold a knife to her throat while screaming, "You're stupid to believe in god!" More likely, she got an angry email response to some equally horrible article. While the rest of us have the sense to ignore that sort of thing, this is Ms. Nole's melodramatic overreaction: I thought as James and John did in Luke chapter nine, that God would rain fire on this man, but He didn’t. Seriously? You actually thought god almighty was going to rain fire and brimstone on some random internet troll? *wild, uncontrollable laughter* I couldn’t understand why God just didn’t strike this person dead or at least put him in a coma or something. Ya know, the god of love and mercy and compassion and forgiveness. That guy. Yet, God taught me many things while I walked through that valley. What valley? Why have we moved on to travel plans? God reminded me that He loved us while we were yet unlovable. God was showing mercy to this ungodly man. God didn’t take me out of the trial immediately, but He protected my life and gave me the strength to endure. One terrible, lonely night, I sat at my piano, weeping and asking God for deliverance. With tenderness and compassion, God reached down and wrapped me in His arms Replace the word "god" with any man's name and this gets very interesting and gave me this song:

Really bad song lyrics that make me happy I can't hear the music.

There is no need to fear if you are washed in the blood of the Lamb and abiding with Jesus. Isaiah 41:13 “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee”. However, for those who refuse to turn from their wicked ways, I think the tagline for the 1986 movie The Fly can apply to you... “Be afraid, be very afraid”. Hebrews 10:31 “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God”.

Nyah, nyah, nyah! God's gonna get you, god's gonna get you!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Megadittos, Rush!

Ann Coulter makes my stomach hurt.

Rush Limbaugh makes me froth at the mouth. It's the same sort of instinctive reaction that my dog has to cats. Once, my dog jumped through a glass window to get at a cat. Right through it. This resulted in multiple cuts, some of them quite deep, on his nose and muzzle. He didn't even notice. He kept on going at the cat.

That's my reaction to Rush Limbaugh. I hope never to see him in person, because that would result in serious trouble for me. (Not for Rush, I weigh 100 lbs in winter clothes.)

So bear with me as I attempt to dissect Rush Limbaugh *mmmmm* Limbaugh's words.

The Country is Still Conservative
November 12, 2008
RUSH: This is James in Cincinnati. Nice to have you on the program, sir.

CALLER: Mega dittos, Rush. I can't imagine why people accept the appellation "dittohead" as a compliment. Think about what "ditto" means: "another of the same". Not at all different. I think Obama's great and Cliffy B. could possibly be god, but I don't want to be them. I'm me and I'm happy that way. It's really quite disturbing when you think about it.
RUSH: Yes.
CALLER: I got a very simple comment here. I think that there's a very simple solution to the conservative crisis end anti-intellectualism and kick the fundamentalist crazies out of the party? probably not. and the financial crisis in the country. this guy thinks it is simple - SIMPLE- to end the financial crisis in this country? Seriously? Yeah, it's so simple that you're the only one who thought of it. Yeah. It goes like this. Get out the electoral map, you flood the red states with conservatives, I thought the red states already were conservative. He wants to flood already conservative states with more conservatives? This is his plan? and you begin to actively promote the conservative way of life that half of Americans in this country want to live. What about the other half of the country? His plan is to make 1 in 2 people happy, and 1 in 2 people unhappy. This solves the financial crisis how? You know, family, free enterprise, freedom, and faith. As a liberal, I have to admit that I hate family, free enterprise, freedom and faith. Hate it. You bastards with your marriages and children, your jobs, your precious freedoms and god. How dare you! (As Jon Stewart pointed out, the tax rate currently is 36%, Obama wants to make it 39%. In what part of that 3% does this become socialism?) It would make the governors happy. Conservative governors, maybe. What about liberal governors? Basically, this guy's solution is to flip the happiness from liberals to conservatives. It would make the business leaders happy -- I'm way past making those fuckers happy. We give AIG bailouts, in the plural, and they throw fucking parties with the money. Fuck them.

RUSH: When you say flood these states, what do you mean, have people move there?
CALLER: Oh, sure, just like they do in California. The liberals flooded California and San Francisco and they create a little sort of liberal oasis. Damnit, who gave this guy a copy of the Liberal Agenda? Who? We can't just have that floating around, available to conservatives. Everybody get our your Agenda and read the first rule: There is no Liberal Agenda. Come on now, people!

Actually, the fact is that people of similar mindsets, whether they be political or religious or ethnic mindsets, tend to group together. "Birds of a feather flock together" is an astute observation. There was no liberal agenda to take over California, just as there was no conservative agenda to take over . . . say . . . the South.

There's no reason that conservatives can't do the same thing and, you know, make everybody well, half of everybody happy, business leaders, evangelicals and Catholics i've never noticed the love between evangelicals and catholics. generally, evangelicals consider catholics on par with muslims, if not satanists. besides, all this kumbaya stuff isn't very conservative. it's sort of socialist, all people of goodwill liberals and atheists are, by implication, not people of goodwill, happy.

Rush will now go off on a rant about how the country is really republican, republicans are the best people, obama shouldn't have won (HAHA HE DID)

RUSH: You know, it's interesting, I saw today the final county map, red state, blue state map by county, and if you just landed here from Mars, and you looked at that map, you would swear the Republicans won this thing in a landslide, if you didn't know where the population centers are. I guarantee you by county and by square mileage, we skunked 'em! By measurements that do not matter, we won! I wonder why Olympic athletes don't try this. "Yes, Michael Phelps was faster, which is the measurement of success in this sport, but I look far better in a speedo!" But then you look at the coasts, you look all up and down the Left Coast West Coast? my left, your left, what?, you look all up and down the East Coast, until you get past New Jersey and Maryland, DC, even Virginia, three counties in Virginia won it for Obama. Those three counties are microscopic on the map. Cows can't vote, Rush. But it's just amazing. The population centers feature big cities, of course, In general, that is what "population center" means. Unless you're in Kansas, and then the population center is the Miller's house, because they have 10 kids. and people who live in big cities are largely Democrat, and I don't know, for example, how many conservatives are going to want to move to a place like California. Wait for it. In 2 sentences Rush will claim that Republicans don't flock together like Democrats. Right after pointing out that Republicans wouldn't want to live in a liberal state like California. The cognitive dissonance on this guy probably explains the drug addiction. Look at the tax rate in California. How many conservatives who don't already live there, want to move to New York? I mean, you need a great job, a lot of money to live there. liberals don't need these things as well? NYC is expensive for everyone. Except the gays. That's part of their agenda. Sorry, there is no gay agenda.

Besides, conservatives don't Balkanize themselves. I will deal with this separately. From Wikipedia: Balkanization is a geopolitical term originally used to describe the process of fragmentation or division of a region or state into smaller regions or states that are often hostile or non-cooperative with each other. You may wonder about my quibble with Rush's use of the word "Balkanize". It's in the definition, specifically the words hostile and noncooperative. The United States is one country. It's divided into 50 states and then into various counties, cities, towns, etc., but all of this is one thing. Texas is not hostile or noncooperative with California. Austin, TX and Dallas, TX are not hostile or noncooperative with each other.

What Rush is describing is the first steps to civil war (see: Kosovo), and he's attributing that to Democrats. That's offensive. And untrue.

They live their lives; they want to be happy and so forth. Liberals don't live lives or want to be happy. We're vampires or some fucking thing. Liberals are the ones that organize in little communes yes! and cliques and cities when did "city" become a liberal thing? why is my agenda not updated? am I still on the mailing list? and so forth and only want to hang around with each other and themselves. I actually can't hang out with myself. I can be alone, but I can't hang out with myself. We're not that way in many regards. In some parts of country that happens to be the case it's an illusion!, but this map is just stunning. Ow! My eyes! And I'll tell you something else that's stunning. If you look at the counties, what I call the Hispanic border states racist much?, you go up the border of Mexico with Texas, the only blue counties in Texas, other than one outside of Houston, are right on the border with Mexico, and then you go into New Mexico, same thing, go into Arizona, pretty close, same thing, you go to California, you can see the Hispanic vote. You can see where it's gone. It's all blue. Well, not all, but I mean it's just amazing. Not really. Hispanics aren't idiots. All the racist antiimmigrant rhetoric finally caught up with the Republicans. And the Republicans think they're going to crack that by going out and acting like Democrats and just promising a better list of goodies? It ain't going to happen out there. It's not the way to do it. Rush is right, but for the wrong reason. If my husband calls me a bitch, he's not going to be forgiven because he hands me flowers. You can't spend years working on your racist rhetoric, then give the target of your tax break and expect them to forgive you. This makes Hispanics significantly smarter than fundamentalists, who vote on abortion solely and are thus easily dismissed. Let me play this audio sound bite right now. Andrea Mitchell Nightly News last night, she had a report about Chris Shays and I all over the news yesterday and last night, also in this report.

because I enjoy watching the Republican party fall all over itself figuring out where they went wrong, I will give you this.

MITCHELL: Is the party over? As Republican governors prepare to meet in Miami to debate what went wrong and who will lead them out of wilderness, Republicans have to resolve their identity crisis. Do they want to follow moderates like Chris Shays, who lost his Connecticut House seat?

SHAYS: You gotta reach out to African-Americans, you gotta reach out to Latinos, and you gotta be an inclusive party, and we aren't right now, but we will be. Shays recognizes half the problem. In high school, the power clique gains power by excluding everyone. This doesn't work in an election. Shays is missing the other half of the problem: the Republicans ran on fear, the Democrats ran on hope. (Of course, the albatross that is Bush hanging around McCain's neck didn't help much either.) Fear only motivates for so long. Eventually, people get tired of being afraid, and try something new.

MITCHELL: Or should the party align itself with traditional conservatives? If the "traditional conservatives" you are discussing are Goldwater conservatives, this might work. If the "traditional conservatives" you are discussing are racist, fearmongering, fundamentalist anti-intellectuals, this will not work.

RUSH ARCHIVE: We can get women, we can get everybody with a set of core principles that we do not abandon that benefit everybody, regardless the damned color of their skin or their gender! More "liberals are unprincipaled, immoral heathens" rhetoric. It didn't work for McCain, Rush. It won't work anymore. Starving the poor, killing innocent civilians and allowing working people to suffer and die for lack of health care are not principals. They are bad policy. Usians have spoken. (The working definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Make of that what you will.)

RUSH: That was from yesterday, and I stand by that. I'm consistent within a 24 hour period! We start going after groups of Americans, Does anyone else get a little nervous when the political party funded by religious crazies and gun nuts starts saying things like "going after"? the middle class, Wal-Mart people the entire US? Has he been to Wal-Mart lately? I hate Wal-Mart and I shop there. Oh, yeah, Rush is rich, he probably never has been to Wal-Mart. This is probably a code phrase for "poor people" or "welfare queens". and then the Kmart people boat people? and let's go get the Starbucks crowd liberal, beret-wearing gay elitists!and let's go get this group, Hispanics foolish Hispanics, you have drawn the attention of Darth Rush. You shall pay.

Loser -- we just did that! Conversational shift I didn't quite follow. We just did it. The architects of this should be disqualified from running another Republican campaign. Karl Rove should be disqualified from ever interacting with human beings again. When in McCain's campaign did anyone make a push to bring in hispanics and poor people and boat people and liberal, beret-wearing gay elitists? They didn't. They tried to scare the pants off all those people, which is different. If Rush doesn't see the difference between scaring people and embracing people, his foreplay must be very . . . interesting.

Set of core principles that improve life for every rich human being (gays, blacks, women and hispanics may or may not be human beings) in the country, and you will attract them, I don't care where they were born, I don't care what their skin color is, what their gender is, what their sexual orientation, none of that. You attract enough of them to win. because gays, blacks, hispanics and women are too stupid to figure out that Republican policies are badbadbad for them. good luck with that, rush!


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Bitter, Bitter Coulter

WARNING: Too much exposure to Ann Coulter can result in Neuromuscular reactions include dystonias, motor restlessness, pseudo-parkinsonism and tardive dyskinesia, and appear to be dose-related. Agranulocytosis, eosinophilia, leukopenia, hemolytic anemia, aplastic anemia, thrombocytopenic purpura and pancytopenia have been reported.

No wait, those are the side effects of Thorazine. Too much Ann Coulter can cause your brain to leap directly out of your skull, grab the nearest sharp object and remove your eyeballs, thus preventing you from ever exposing it to more Ann Coulter. Just watch out for that, all right?

Genius, thy name is Obama

What is it with anti-intellectuals? Bush mangles the English language every time he talks, and that's a good thing! You can drink beer with Bush, they say, as if that is some sort of qualification for being President of the United States. Palin proudly states that if a nuclear confrontation occurs, she won't blink. She also couldn't name one Supreme Court case (Roe v. Wade) or one magazine (Time, Newsweek, People).

Why do people want a President at least as stupid as they are? I want a President to be smarter and more educated than me. I also want him to blink, blink, blink and blink again. (I mean, these people haven't played Fallout 3? The effects of a nuclear war are not pretty. The game based on them? Awesome!)

With Time magazine comparing Obama to Jesus, she says this as if Obama wanted them to do that. Time does what it does without checking with Obama first. I did find that to be hyperbole, but the comparison, in terms of message not messiahood, is valid.

I guess we should be relieved that, this week, liberals are only comparing him to Abraham Lincoln. The comparison to Lincoln is more valid. They both hail from Illinois, they both took/are taking office at a very troubled time in history and Obama is the end result of Lincoln's stance on slavery. It's a nice comparison.

The one thing every liberal on TV seems to know about Lincoln is that he put rivals in his cabinet, as subtly indicated in the title to historian and plagiarist Doris Kearns Goodwin's book: "Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln." Yes, plagiarism is bad. Yes, Ms. Goodwin is a plagiarist. But why use this example? I was taught that Lincoln put rivals in his cabinet in the fifth grade. Why not just say, "the one thing most people know about Lincoln, other than that whole FREEING THE SLAVES thing, is that he put rivals in his cabinet"? I'll tell you why: because this way, Ms. Coulter gets to connect, however tenuously, liberals and plagiarizers. It is an association fallacy: an inductive formal fallacy of the type hasty generalization or red herring which asserts that qualities of one thing are inherently qualities of another, merely by an irrelevant association.

Like Lincoln, Goodwin is always open to contributions from her rivals, although Lincoln was better at crediting their words.Again, this is entirely irrelevant. This is not supposed to be an article about Goodwin or plagiarism. This is supposed to be an article about Obama . . . or something.

And hasn't Obama talked to former rival Hillary about becoming his Secretary of State? Yes, he has. Hillary has tremendous experience with matters of diplomacy and with leaders around the world by virtue of having been First Lady for 8 years. That's part of the job of First Lady: to be an unofficial diplomat, to present a softer, more pleasant side of the White House. Hasn't he had a sit-down with Sen. John McCain? Yes, he has. More power to him. After all that mudslinging on McCain's side, I wouldn't have been able to restrain myself from punching him, let alone actually have a conversation with the man. Did I imagine this, or is he even now brokering peace talks between Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck? What?

Ergo: Obama is a genius. Anti-Intellectualism at its finest. Turn genuine, important accomplishments, the sort of things people have a right to be proud of, into a source of ridicule and shame. Obama is doing good things for Washington and for the US, ergo, we must shame him for being elitist.

Indeed, historians have just named Obama the best president-elect ever. No, they haven't. For one thing, historians don't deal in current affiars, being historians and all, and how does one rate president-elects, anyway?

I don't recall the media swooning when President George W. Bush reached out to rivals, such as Sen. Teddy Kennedy, who was asked to co-write Bush's education bill. In fact, the way I remember it, Bush is liberals' most hated president ever (only because they can't remember George Washington or they'd hate him, too). Sure, if you're liberal, you hate George Washington. Automatically. In fact, if you read the fine print on the voter registration card, it says that if you register Democratic, you are required to hate George Washington. By the way, who doesn't . . . wait a minute . . . remember? Nobody alive today remembers George Washington. We all learned about him growing up. There is no way any USian over the age of 6, who does not have amnesia or serious brain damage, is not familiar with George Washington. Not possible. Sorry, Ms. Coulter.

The rest of this article ranges between the bizarre and the offensive, but I'll give it a try.

And yet no modern president has ever done more to bridge partisan divides and show respect to his opponents than George W. Bush. I do not say this with admiration; it is simply a fact. Really? It's a fact. Read on. It's also a fact that I have wings. I said so. They're really quite beautiful. Too bad you can't see them.

Throughout the year and again in his convention speech during the 2000 presidential campaign, Gov. Bush bragged that he had "no stake in the bitter arguments of the last few years. I want to change the tone of Washington to one of civility and respect." I can "brag" (which is not a good thing to do) that I'm superman, it doesn't make it true. Gee, if we can take everything everyone says at face value, then we don't need the justice system anymore. We'll just politely ask people if they beat/robbed/raped/killed that person, and if they say no, we're done. Much easier that way.

(As a side note: Bush would never have been elected president if not for the "bitter arguments of the last few years," in which Republicans exposed and impeached Bill Clinton, which then killed Al Gore's presidential ambitions. So you're welcome.) Did I say thank you for that? We're in the middle of the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression and mired in two wars that aren't going anywhere resulting in thousands of dead US soldiers and around 150,000 dead civilan Iraqis. What am I supposed to be thanking her for? What did Ms. Coulter have to do with that, anyway?

But the point is: Bush was massively chummy with his enemies – Democrats, communists and the Congressional Black Caucus. So chummy that even they began to wonder if he was a little daft. I'm not sure "chummy" is word we're looking for here. Besides that, if Bush isn't crazy, then he's evil. Those are the only two explanations for his behavior that I can think of.

blahblahblah Bush is friends with everyone (but the citizens of the US, Arabs everywhere and democracy in general) blahblahblah

Then we get this little gem:

Bush even made a special point to meet with the Congressional Black Caucus upon taking office, which – given their feelings toward Bush – would be the equivalent of Obama holding a special meet-and-greet session with the upper management of the Ku Klux Klan.

Wow. Just wow. Drink that in for a minute. Yes, you read that right. No, I didn't make that up. The Congressional Black Caucus didn't like Bush's record on civil rights. They did not try to kill him, remove his right to vote, or any of the other heinous things the KKK has done over the years.

Ann Coulter, if she actually believes the things she says, is a racist.

Ms. Coulter, the equivalent for Obama would be to meet with people who don't agree with his voting record. You racist bitch.

Bush also famously said of then-Russian president, former KGB agent Vladimir Putin, that he looked him in the eye and "was able to get a sense of his soul." This is not something to be proud of. The average human being does not believe that they can see someone's soul by looking in their eyes. I don't claim that about my husband, let alone some guy I've met once or twice. This is evidence of Bush's general insanity/stupidity, not his alleged bipartisanship.

As president, Bush scuttled the playing of "Hail to the Chief" in his honor and repeatedly reminded his staff to act humbly. "Joe, I just don't think you're acting humble enough. C'mon people, it's not enough to act a little humble, you must shout your humility from the rooftops!" Act humbly. The relevant word isn't "humble", it's "act". Being humble and acting humbly are two different things. One is admirable, one is a cynical ploy. You can't circumvent or outright stomp on the constitution and then say, hey, I act all humble. Isn't that enough for you people?

To Ms. Coulter, racist bitch that she is, appearance is better than reality.

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