I Can Think of More to Say

[trigger warning: weight]

h/t to Cynical Nymph

Ugh. Just ugh. I keep Feministe and Feministing on my blogroll because they introduced me to sex positivity, to cisgender privilege and the fact that women are raped because they are in the presence of a rapist, not because their routines are a little too predictable. That's not to say I agree with everything that's ever said on either site. Especially not this from Feministe:

Can you judge health with a naked eye? It’s true, you can’t. But let’s be honest, there’s not an epidemic of fat runners out there.

and:

In all, this demonization of the BMI is odd. I’m outside my normal BMI range, but I’ve never had a doctor say, “Boy, are you overweight!” I have had doctors ask me what’s happening when I come in for my yearly check-up and my weight’s gone up or down. They’re never concerned when I’ve put on ten pounds; they’re concerned when I tell them it’s because I’ve stopped exercising. Likewise, no doctor talks about my weight when she does routine blood tests, listens to me breathe or feels my glands.

"Epidemic" of "fat"? Nice word choice there, asshat. As to never having a doctor bring up yourweight? Lucky fucking you.

This attitude hurts people in so many ways, but I'd like to address two ways it hurts people that most people don't think of.

1. Overweight people are assumed to be sick because they are overweight.

It's like a "Get out of diagnostics free" card for doctors. Are you 100 lbs overweight? Every illness, including eye problems, will be blamed on that weight. Don't believe me? That's exactly what happened to The Hubby. When his MS first appeared, the first symptom was pain and loss of colour vision in one eye. This is a huge red flag for MS, but three doctors went looking for diabetes, didn't find it and stopped looking. His eye returned to normal with no treatment, again typical of MS, and then the gastrointestinal distress started. When I say "gastrointestinal distress", I mean losing 40 lbs in 6 weeks. That's almost 1 lb per day. That's insane. That's unhealthy. That, combined with the eye problem is a 100' tall neon sign blinking MSMSMSMSMS. And every single doctor shrugged and said, "Well, good for you! 60 lbs to go!"

The Hubby now has permanent nerve damage from Vitamin B deficiencies. Good for him.

2. Thin people are not tested for heart disease and other conditions because we have become convinced these diseases are solely the result of being overweight. Thin people are only slightly less likely to experience heart disease than overweight people. However, doctors won't even think heart disease- even if you display classic symptoms of heart disease- because that's for fat people.

Arthritis? Fallen arches? That's what happens to fat people- unless you're me and I had to fight to get x-rays to prove that my arches have collapsed. Mind you, the doctor was looking at my newly archless foot and denying that anyone my weight could have collapsed arches. If you've never seen flat feet up close, that's like looking at a stab wound and saying, "I don't see how a knife could be involved here."

The takeaway lesson here? Fat pride may seem like a movement that would only improve the lives of the overweight, but it would improve all our lives substantially if we could just get doctors to join in.

Fat Pride

So, none of you have any seen me, so you are unaware of my size, and anyone who has seen me would find it a little odd for me to be shouting about Fat Pride. It's not just that I watched my mother struggle with her weight my entire life, something I found confusing and upsetting as a child, btw. One of my earliest memories is of my mother bemoaning her weight, denigrating her own body. And there I was, looking at the goddess of my world, the bringer of hugs and comfort, the source of all good things . . . sorry, I'm crying. That's how deeply it affected me, and probably how deeply it affects every little girl. "It" being our culture of thin, our culture of fat shaming, our culture of self hatred.

This is why we need Fat Pride. I know, I know, we're all going to be HUGE and DIE OF HEART ATTACKS if we stop fat shaming people into apologizing for every ounce over emaciated they happen to be. Because skinny people never get sick. Not ever. And we never die of heart attacks. Nope.

Anyway, my mother lost her weight. And those warm, soft hugs are all bony now. And her heart isn't in any better shape than it was 30 years ago. And maybe we should just learn to be a little nicer to the pudgey among us. And ourselves while we're at it. (and maybe i should stop starting sentences with "and.")