A One Page Essay to Earn $1 More Than Minimum Wage

First of all THIS. McDonalds promises to add 50,000 new jobs and all I have to say is fuck you, Evil Empire. Fortunately, someone else said it a little more eloquently than I could manage given the provocation:

McDonalds, and so many other companies offering jobs, offer low paying, part-time jobs, without benefits, so that such companies can make mind-numbing profits. They are not interested in providing jobs to the people, they are interested in making as great a profit as possible. Creating new jobs creates new money-making markets; but they want to have these markets run by people who are paid as little as possible, an insignificant amount of money for the work they do and the money they help generate. The lower the salary and benefits they can get away with, the greater the profit. The average worker is being used by them as servile servants, and they are told if they are not willing to accept this fact, many others will be willing to take their job, and so they should just be quiet and not cause any problems. We are told that they should be willing to be paid little and be grateful for the crumbs they are being given. Hard work, after all, pays off – just, of course, we often forget who benefits from the hard work is often not the one who does it! [emphasis added]

Exactly. Ex-fucking-actly. I type until my joints swell and ache and who makes the money around here? The same guy who took away my sick days because he could. Don't ever forget that. Unless you work for yourself, working harder isn't benefiting you. It's benefiting your boss. And if you think, given the evidence of just the last two years alone, that you're going to get something out of it- a raise, a promotion, job security- I have a lovely bridge in Brooklyn you can have for the low, low price of $500.

I would also like to share something so twisted and ridiculous, I can only assume the local McDonalds franchises are run by an evil genius whose house should be searched for the world-ending laser it no doubt contains. I know someone who works at a local McDonalds*. He has been recommended for the position of crew trainer. Unlike normal shift workers, crew trainers get 40 hours per week guaranteed, rather than the oh-so-clever not quite enough hours to require benefits, and crew trainers make $1 an hour more than minimum wage, so $8.75. Whoo!! Living the high life right there! Working at McDonalds and making a little more than $18,000 per year! Be still my heart!

You know what he has to do to earn these fabulous riches? Write a one page essay about why he would be a good crew trainer. Don't worry, it's one page double spaced. Yes, typed. On a computer. And printed out. On a printer. Isn't that fucking speshul? (For the privilege blind: generally speaking, an adult desperate enough to find working at McDonalds full time a good deal probably doesn't have a computer or a printer. Those things cost money.) Don't worry, I got done writing, typing and printing it out for him an hour ago, but fucking really? That much hoop jumping to make $8.75 at fucking McDonalds?

I guess simply holding your boot to someone's throat gets boring after a while. And desperate groveling is so entertaining.

*McDonalds are franchises, which means that different McDonalds under different ownerships may have different policies, so this may only be true for the McDonalds where I live, which are all owned by the same person. Also note that unemployment in my area is so high that jobs typically held by teenagers, such as part time worker at McDonalds, are all held by adults. Desperate, poor, at the end of their ropes adults.

Are Mini Med Policies Insurance? No.

I worked for over a year for the State of Pennsylvania as a temp. Oddly, one can be a temporary worker, at least for the state, for years. (No, I don't know how that works.) Being a temp worker sucks, not just because of the low pay and complete lack of holiday/vacation/sick pay (do you have any idea how many state holidays there are? Pennsylvania includes the first day of hunting season. tru fax.), but also because of the "health insurance" temp agencies offer.

I used sarcastiquotes because calling that plan health insurance is like calling Sarah Palin a feminist. Lots of people do it, but it still doesn't make any sense.

That "health insurance" cost $50 a paycheck, had an overall cap of $10,000*, a deductible of $1,000 and a monthly pharmacy cap of $75. So, yeah, they wanted to steal $2,600 a year from me for no really good reason. And they called it health insurance, I guess just for the added benefit of insulting my intelligence.

So, when McDonalds claims that the crap they're offering their employees is health insurance, only in the sense that Sarah Palin is a feminist. But McDonalds is more than willing to sell the idea to Congress, who is pretty darn interested in listening, though not actually in having "health insurance" themselves.

Among hearing witnesses, Team Better-Than-Nothing was headed up by Rich Floersch, executive vice-president for human resources at McDonald's Corporation. McDonald's helped win itself a crucial waiver from the health-reform law, Janet Adamy reported two months ago in the Wall Street Journal, by threatening to HHS that if forced to comply it might just have to withdraw health coverage from thousands of fast-food workers. McDonald's offers hourly workers at its 1,500 company-owned restaurants four health-insurance options, Floerschexplained. Only one of these options (annual premium: about $6,000 per year, obviously more than most hourly workers can pay) is "comprehensive" (i.e., real) insurance. The other three are mini-meds. The cheapest option (and the one nearly all its hourly workers opt for) cost $710 per year in 2008 (presumably it's more expensive now, but apparently this was the most recent data the commerce committee could get) and had an annual benefit ceiling of $2,000. The other two options cost $1,332 and $1,947 per year and had annual benefit ceilings of $5,000 and $10,000. These same four options are also available from most of McDonald's' 12,500 franchisees.

. . .

Floersch said that McDonald's surveyed its employees and found only 10 percent willing to pay $21 or more per week for health insurance, as opposed to 55 percent who would be willing to pay $5 to $20 per week. He didn't mention (but a commerce committee fact sheet did) that the sliding premiums for the three insurance options available to corporate suits and some restaurant managers but not to hourly employees actually begin at levels below those paid by hourly workers for mini-med plans even though the suits' policies contain no annual benefit limits. That's right. Some nonhourly employees at McDonald's pay less for theirreal health insurance—with no annual limits and, indeed, an employee out-of-pocket maximum of $4,000 for covered expenses—than the schmucks shoveling French fries and flipping Big Macs pay for fake health insurance with annual benefit limits of $2,000, $5,000, and $10,000, and no employee out-of-pocket maximum for covered expenses.Oh, and the absolute highest health premium the suits might pay ($1,435 for higher-earning employees in the "no deductible PPO") is less than a quarter the premium McDonald's expects the schmucks to pay for the only policy hourly workers can opt for that isn't a mini-med. [emphasis mine]

That's just evil.

*The ER charges $500 just for walking through the door, the walk in clinic next door to my work charges $85 to see a doctor, and a decent blood workup will run you upwards of $500. One mild bout of anything would bust right through that cap.

They Sell Burgers, You Know

You made Jesus facepalm

Ah, McDonalds. Home of my favorite french fries, though only when they're right out of the fryer, so hot you can hardly eat them. OM NOM NOM NOM.

Hmm. Maybe this cutting back on salt thing isn't so good for me.

Anyway, because a burger is never just a burger and everything is an assault on someone's religious beliefs, Red Cardigan is deeply offended by a McDonald's ad that runs in France in which gay people are being, well, people. Red Cardigan does not live in France. She lives in the United States, like me. Personally, I don't care if McDonalds uses tentacle porn (go ahead, search that, I dare you) to advertise its products in France, because I don't live there. But not Red Cardigan. Like any good Christian, she's deeply offended by something that doesn't affect her at all.

I realize that a certain segment of the population suffers from same-sex attraction. But the push to normalize homosexual activity, to force a narrative that insists that homosexual acts are normal and that the attraction is a good thing, is an attempt to make positive and good what is contrary to the moral law and to the teachings of many mainstream religions, Catholicism among them.

And that has what to do with burgers? Hey, guess what, gay people buy burgers, too! I know, it's astounding. It's almost like those homosekshuals are people, too. Huh.

France, of course, doesn't have to worry that much about their (largely) nominally Catholic population having any objection to this ad. France's growing Islamic population, however, might, since Islam also views homosexual acts as sinful. At present, the Islamic population in France is not inconsiderable, accounting for about six percent of France's total population.

"I'll tell the Muslims! You'll see!" has to be the weirdest threat from an American Christian, but you see it all the time these days. "We're reasonable, but those guys? Fucking crazy. You do not want me to get them involved."

In America, of course, McDonald's is marketed as a family-friendly, child-welcoming restaurant. A commercial winking at the idea of a father's cluelessness regarding his homosexual teenage son's dating adventures would probably not fly here, given McDonald's market in this country. But that's one of the things I hate about huge multinational corporations--they can play the game of being all things to all people, and show ads with mothers, fathers, and small children in this country, and gay-friendly ads France, without apparently seeing any contradiction between the two.

*headdesk* There is no contradiction, honey. You see, McDonalds isn't selling morality or religion. They sell fast food. In the United States, fast food is automatically considered family fair, being quick and cheap, so of course the advertising is family friendly. France, however, has a different culture, therefore McDonalds' advertising in France is different. That's right, the entire world is not exactly the same. I bet that ad was even in French. Wow! We'll wait while you mull that one over.

McDonald's got into trouble two years ago over their support of a gay organization; pro-family groups organized a boycott at the time. In the present economy, some families have seen McDonald's as an inexpensive, family-friendly restaurant to take the kids to for an occasional treat--but this ad in France may make some people think twice about that choice.

I'm getting pretty tired of multinational corporations trying to override the religious and moral views of huge numbers of people so they can look trendy while selling fat-laden unhealthy food or other wasteful and unnecessary products. You might say I'm not lovin' it.

If by "got into trouble" you mean "nobody noticed our little hissy fit and McDonalds continued to post profits", then yes. But, no, McDonalds isn't trying to "override the religious and moral views" of anyone. They are selling burgers. An ad featuring a gay person doesn't override anything, it simply acknowledges that gay people exist and buy fast food. Which they do. Welcome to reality.

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