Words Are Power

[trigger warning: anti gay bigotry, fire, dead horses. please visit this joyfully living otter instead.]

(ETA: trigger warning)

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

I used to hate that little ditty. I still do, but as a child, as a victim of bullying, I knew that was not true. Words hurt. Words hurt as much, if not more, than fists and weapons. Words are powerful. Words have power.

No, words are power.

Which is why I spend so much of my time talking about the use of words. Why is it important to discuss that atheist have morals, too? Because every time someone says that morals come from god, the idea is planted in another person's mind that atheists are immoral, dangerous perhaps. Maybe shouldn't be suffered to live. I mean, who knows what they might do to the children?

Why is it important to confront it, each and every time, when someone says that a man "cried/threw/whatever like a girl"? Because any time you compare undesirable behavior to being female you spread the belief that to be female is to be lesser. And people who believe that women are lesser have no problem raping women, taking away their rights, paying them less and generally oppressing them. And women who believe that they themselves are less have more trouble fighting against that.

It is important to hold people responsible for the words that they say because words are power. We should hold people as accountable for their words as we do for how they use their guns. If a person randomly fires off a gun into a crowd and kills someone, we do not accept the excuse that well, I wasn't really aiming for anyone in particular, I just wanted to see what people would do.

Which is why I'm holding accountable every single Christian who spreads hatred against gays for the deaths of 8 horses. If you stood up online, at a church, among your friends and spewed hatred and lies and vitriol against gays, then you may as well have held the torch. You may as well have slit the throats of these 8 horses because that would have been kinder than what did happen.

Seven adult horses and one foal died as a result of an arson fire at 874 West Richards Road in McConnelsville just after 11:30 p.m. on Sunday. Owner Brent Whitehouse said he woke to discover the barn engulfed in flames and immediately called 911, but it was too late.

"I couldn't get the door open I could still hear the horses kicking and I tried as hard as I could to get them out and I just couldn't get them out in time," he said.

Those who know Brent believe this was a hate crime, explicit words relating to his sexuality were spray painted in large white letters on the side of the barn before the fire was started.

You. You did it. You spread hatred and fear. It's your fault. Oh, I know, you didn't tell anyone to go torch a barn with 8 horses in it, but don't think that makes you innocent. You put the idea in a person's mind that gays are evil and wrong and will harm your children. You're responsible for that idea. It's that idea that led to 8 horses desperately trying to escape a raging fire and failing. Your idea. Your words.

Your fucking fault.

It Gets Purple and It Gets Better

Here's me being purple, because I do stand up for the treatment of GLBT persons as, well, people. I don't think anyone should be bullied, I don't think anyone should be discriminated against and I don't think anyone should be made to feel so desperate and hopeless that they believe death to be the only solution.

I'm not gay, but I have been bullied. Relentlessly. Mercilessly. My entire childhood sucked up into the despair and pain of being bullied.

If you are being bullied, I have been where you are. If you think life will never get better, I've thought that, too. If you think that suicide might be the only way out, well, been there, got the scars on my wrists to prove it.



That was an attempt at a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Thing is, I'm still here. I'm here because it gets better. So much better you'll have a hard time believing me.

I found love. I found friends who accept me exactly as I am. I cosplay at Starbucks on a Tuesday and I don't care who laughs at me, because I'm having fun. I laugh all the time now. I'm poor and chronically ill and partially disabled- and life is good.






Thing is, high school is bullshit. If high school were the best years of your life, you have a very sad life. High school isn't life. High school is a pressure cooker of crazy. The only good thing is high school ends. And then? You're free to go. You're free to move somewhere else, to never see bullies again, to find people who love you.


And you will. Find people who love you, that is. I know this seems impossible, in the tiny little world that is high school, but the world is a big place. There are over 6,000,000,000 people on this planet and trust me, at least a few of them will get you immediately. At least a few will think you're the coolest, awesomemest, bestest person they've ever met. I know, it seems impossible now, but it will happen. I swear to you, it will get better.

I never think of the bullies anymore, unless I'm reading or writing about bullying. I don't worry what people think of me anymore. So what? Yeah, I wear a Jaegermonster sigil every day, at work, to the store, where ever. You think that's weird? Too bad, it makes me happy. That's how good life gets, I don't have to care what anyone thinks, I have friends who think it's awesome that I'm weird. I get to go home and hang out with people who love me. Bullies? After high school, they don't matter.

So hang in there. It gets better. If you are thinking of suicide, please call 1-800-273 TALK. Right now. If you need encouragement, there are thousands of videos from people who have been in your shoes, and all of their lives are better. If you need me to write you a hundred more essays on how much better it gets, I'll do that, too. Just ask. I don't know you, but I do care. Please, stay alive. It gets better.

Put Down the Stupid, Ma'am

This is weapons grade stupid right here. So fucking stupid I'm losing brain function thinking about it. So fucking stupid I would think the writer would have been rendered catatonic, except that she's posted blog entries since, so the only conclusion I can draw is that homophobes are so saturated in stupid they have become immune to it.

If you think that sounds unnecessarily mean, keep reading. Just don't complain when you find yourself unable to do basic math or find the US on a map afterwards. I warned you.

(The following is supposed to be the result of DADT being repealed. Keep that in mind. The following is the result of a ruling that allows gays in the military to openly discuss their partners, just like their heterosexual compatriots have always been allowed to.)

Scene: Military base, mess hall. Several male soldiers are seated around a table.

Soldier A: So, yeah, then I got a call from my...

(He pauses, and looks down at the table.)

Soldier A: Sorry.

Soldier B: No problem. You were saying?

Soldier A: Yeah, I was on the phone and she said...wait, can I say that?

Soldier C: Um, I think so.

Soldier B: No, actually. You can tell us what you heard--no pronouns.

Soldier A: Right. Well, anyway...well...oh, forget it.

(There is silence. A female soldier enters and joins them.)

Soldier D: Hi, guys. Why so quiet?

Soldier A: (glumly) Oh...you know.

Soldier D: Let me guess. The Military Personnel Conversational Restriction Act?

Soldier B: Mmm-hmm.

Soldier C: Better know as the Just Shut Up Already Act.

If you are still able, please consider this for a moment. This fucking idiot truly believes that a gay soldier being allowed to say, "I talked to my boyfriend last night" without being kicked out of the military will lead to all soldiers being unable to talk about anything.

I'd ask how fucking stupid any one person can be, but there it is. That fucking stupid.

One Poisons the Other

The atheist position on religion and politics is that religion poisons politics, bringing to the political realm goals and ideas that have no business in the politics of a secular democracy such as the United States.

I think, given this, that perhaps the Christian position on religion and politics should be the opposite side of the same coin: politics poisons religion, bringing to religion goals and ideas that have no business in the realm of Christianity.

Case in point:

I have no idea how this will play out, and as the non-Mormon on this blog to some extent it is none of my business, but last week one of the Mormon elders “apologized” to some pro-gays in Oakland

. . .

It is made clear by every one I have read on this that it is NOT and apology for Prop 8 or for Mormon doctrine on homosexuality, but rather an apology for the pain felt.

Okay, it's a start. I'm inclined to snark, am desperately holding back some truly nasty comments, but perhaps this is sincere. Perhaps, beginning from a point of recognizing, and apologizing for, the pain caused by Prop 8 and Mormon doctrine, more can come. I doubt it, but beneath my cynicism is an idealism that gives me hope. And frequently gets viciously beaten down by reality, but that's another story.

Beyond that, if you've ever read the Bible, which Mormons at least nominally follow, this apology is within the teachings of Christ. Politics, however, demand a different path:

I do not know if I would make such a generalization about Monson, but I will say this was a huge political gaffe for the CJCLDS. There is an old phrase, “Never apologize, it makes you look weak.” It’s not the most Christian of phrases as confession lies at the heart of who we are, but it sure applies to politics. If mistakes were made, you find a way to correct them, but politically you have to do so from a position of strength.

A less Christ-like approach I could not imagine. Apparently, neither can the author, but politics, once adopted as a goal, soon becomes the goal. It's isn't about making America moral and safe for hetero-only marriage, it's about winning. And, as a wise man once said, winning isn't everything, it's the only thing, and that leaves very little room for the teachings of a savior.

All of which leaves me with one conclusion: anyone who combines religion with politics cares very little indeed for religion.

Be Careful What You Wish For

I just know I'm going to end up snarking on something when the title makes me giggle.

My Spouse Struggles with Homosexuality from Focus on the Family

No, your spouse is gay, which is certainly unfortunate, unless you're in a same sex marriage, in which case, that's exactly what you wanted.

One of seven children, Paula was raised on the mission field. She witnessed her parents live by faith and sacrifice a normal family life and worldly possessions for the sake of the gospel. She grew up following their example of loving Jesus and committing her life to Him in service. In Bible College she met Steven. He, too, had a fervent and growing faith. The two of them fell in love and embarked on a life-long journey together in ministry.

Why is it that if a woman works, it's so horrible that she's sacrificing her to daycare, but raising your children on the mission field (i.e., in a third world country without clean water or health care) is just fantastic?

Paula never saw it coming. At the time, Steven was the beloved senior pastor of a 1,000 member church. They had a 7 year-old daughter. Paula says there were no outward signs that pointed to a homosexual struggle in Steven, just a growing uneasy feeling inside of her. Paula held Steven up before the Lord and prayed fervently that God would reveal what was wrong with her husband. She believes that God told her through prayer that Steven struggled with homosexuality.

Um, wow. It's bad enough when someone decides your cheating on them due to a misinterpreted phone call, email or encounter, can you imagine your spouse deciding that you must be cheating based on what god told them during prayer? Of course, in her case, she probably noticed that Steven spend more time checking out other men's asses than other women's asses, but still.

Her worst fears were confirmed when Steven was spotted in a gay bar. Paula's world collapsed.

I feel bad for Paula- and Steven. This is what fundamentalist Christianity, the kind that FotF promotes, does to people. Neither Paual nor Steven would have been in this position if religion hadn't convinced Steven to pretend to be something he's not. Steven could have married some nice man that he was actually sexually attracted to, and Paula could have married some nice man that was actually sexually attracted to her. Everybody would have been happy, but no, that's not what Christianity is about.

Perhaps you have an uneasy, sick feeling that something is wrong with your marriage. Perhaps communication has broken down between the two of you and you suspect infidelity. And perhaps you have discovered questionable e-mail, or sexually explicit ads pop up when you're surfing the internet.

Sexually explicit ads popping up when you're online is a sign that you are online.

Pam Burnett realized something was amiss when her husband began spending more and more time away from home, distancing himself from her and the kids. She says he also took up running and started to pay an inordinate amount of attention to his physical appearance.

Oh, those silly gays and their always looking good! That is, btw, the symptom of any affair, hetero or gay. People having affairs want to look good for their lovers, no matter what sex they are.

But for Pam, Paula and others there could have been red flags all along. In his book When Homosexuality Hits Home, Joe Dallas says that many women are attracted to the sensitivity, astute communication skills, vulnerability and easily expressed emotions that often embody temperament commonly found in homosexual men. And that the lack of sexual aggression first seen as a desirable trait may just be a lack of normal sexual interest.

Well now that's interesting. The reason a lack of sexual interest (aggression is a bit disturbing in this context) is seen as a positive to these people is because fundyism is so obsessed with female virginity. Contrary to popular fundy belief, however, women do have an interest in sex and do enjoy sex, therefore maintaining virginity is very difficult. Hence the rather high teen mother/abortion statistics in the fundy community. So, if you're in this community and don't want to fall prey to temptation, it makes absolute sense to seek out men who are not interested in sex. Especially considering that sex is generally made out to be an embarrassing, dirty, evil thing. If that's what you think of sex, you wouldn't want a man interested in sex. To be honest, I think the percentage of women in fundyland married to men who have no sexual interest in them- or any other woman- is pretty high.

Of course, it wouldn't be FotF if they didn't imply that positive traits, like sensitivity, astute communication skills, vulnerability and easily expressed emotions, are gay/womanly and traits that men shouldn't have. That's right, boys, do you express emotion easily, are you able to open up to the woman you love? Well that's because you're gay.

At Focus on the Family we regularly hear from women who fall into lesbianism when emotionally unhealthy relationships with other women become sexualized.

Because women aren't born liking women, we "fall into lesbianism", probably because of trauma.

Mike knows the pain involved in finding his wife involved with another woman. "Jane still lived in the house with me and the kids, but she became someone I didn't know. The sweet girl I married became a creature of deep, seething, unpredictable rage. We fought loud and often. She worked long hours and often didn't come home. She began a 'ministry' at the gay bar three blocks from the hospital where she was charge nurse." Jane's unrest at home, and unresolved issues from her past, deteriorated into submersion into the gay lifestyle.

Bingo! Jane wasn't gay, she has resolved issues from her past. She's also seething and unpredictable and filled with rage. A "creature", in fact.

Let's see how we can tell if our spouses are gay:

In addition to the ominous feeling that something is wrong, there are a number of telltale signs that your partner might be struggling with same-sex attraction or having a homosexual affair:

None of these indicate homosexuality, what they do indicate is any affair. I guess screwing the nanny is okay as long as your nanny isn't gay.

1. Growing emotional distance between you and your spouse
2. Decreased sexual interest in you over time
3. Behavior that does not add up; inconsistencies in details
4. Withdrawn, depressed, moody, outbursts of anger
5. Spend late nights or great amounts of time on the internet
6. Internet web browser history lists unusual sites
7. Preoccupation with physical appearance that has nothing to do with you
8. Eyes meet with those of strangers in public
9. Claims of working long hours at work or periods of unaccounted time
10. Secretive with the cell phone. Looks for incoming calls at odd hours.
11. Becomes defensive when you ask questions about time or whereabouts
12. Unexplained payments on bank statements.
13. Asks about your schedule more than usual
14. Phone records disappear, bank and credit card statements redirected to work address

Now that you've hung a label on your suspicions, you may be feeling a deep sense of betrayal, sorrow, and fear. It's time to confront your spouse and find out the truth.

I wonder how many very interesting conversations are happening in fundy households right now.

There's a Reason You're Not Getting Laid

I would hope by now you have heard about the study that showed that children of two lesbian parents do better* than even the children of two hetero parents. There's been a lot said about the study on both sides, but what I'm interested in is complete misogynistic asshat's people's reactions to this study. They are both enraging and amusing and not entirely unexpected.

Having two moms has to help with the nurturing

OTOH, having two moms might make you way more neurotic. I call that even.

Da wimminz iz teh crazee! Ah yes, only women are capable of nurturing a child, but watch out! women are also inherently crazy, and will pass that crazy onto their children unless there is a strong (cold) male presence to prevent it!

it's hard to see how being raised by two people neither or whom likes males

could do much for the confidence of male children (although many, if not most, male children of heterosexual couples might be in more or less the same position).

Lezzeez hate teh menz! Look, that's just ridiculous. There are any number of people I like and don't want to fuck, including my niece, my niceboss and my dog. You can't conflate sexual desire with fond feelings, other wise I'm going to assume that you really want to lay one on your grandma.

Lesbians, as a rule, don't "not like" males. They just don't like f@cking them. Not the same!

Thank you. and the reply:

Actually it is, if you are male, or it might as well be.

well, if you view women as nothing more than walking vaginas, cruelly not fulfilling your constant desire to stick your dick somewhere, sure, I bet there are lots of lesbians in your world. like 90% of the female population. here's a clue, buddy: even if I all want is a quick fuck, I don't want it from someone who hates women. lesbians are not your problem.

to even ask this question

is intensely cruel, anti-father and anti-male.

it is like asking: Do we NEED mothers? Guess WHAT! Kids are better off without MOMS!

but what do you care about being decent to men? you're a feminist.

To even ask what happens to real people existing in the real world is intensely cruel? well then, i suppose even thinking of doing studies on healthy people is intensely cruel to the disabled. asshat.

since, to a woman, everything about a man affects her desire for a man

by DEFINITION a lesbian hates men.

no, by definition, everything about a woman affects a lesbian's desires for other women. duh. i guess it sucks to have your oh-so-important penis rendered irrelevant.

if what this is supposed to imply is true

men are actively bad for a child.
Down with fathers!

yeesh. calm down, asshat, we're not bringing out the firing squads yet.

it is reports like this

that make me believe I need to side with the right and to fight the left.

any political persuasion that wants to eradicate one half of the human race is by definition evil.

dude, i'm a lefty and i like to fuck men. oh, yes, i do. *pauses for x-rated reverie* look, i'm sorry reality has a liberal bias, but "lesbians do a good job raising children" is not the same as "death to the penised ones!"

you want to diminish the vital role of men in childrens' lives. I do not know how I can make this clearer.

this sort of anti-male propaganda can no longer stand, not if you expect to hold any morally superior position. Children need biologically MALE fathers in their lives. Otherwise this is tantamount to CHILD ABUSE.

Do not tell me otherwise. To try to legitimize perversions such as this only makes the situation more untenable.

I particularly feel bad about the male children and how brainwashed they will be with so many witches around them. I speak from firsthand experience having grown up in a similar situation and being emotionally scarred for life as a result.

I see the same with some kids today and I wince when I see it.

therapy: you needs it

As a man with a functioning penis and potent sperm

I can honestly say that I don't feel threatened by the study indicating that the children of lesbian mothers are more well behaved than the children of straight couples.

I know there are a lot of women who want my penis and my sperm.

And I know in the future women will want my son's penis and sperm, assuming they are as good as his dad's.

What I do find threatening is the actions of conservatives to try to limit the freedoms and rights of homosexuals.

If lesbians want to raise children, then why should we do anything other than help them out?

I want this man to have his user name tattooed onto his forehead so i can run the other way if i see him.

men may not be eliminated in a physical sense

but the question is, if women can have kids and raise them without men, are they willing to deal with men who aren't either so totally compliant or so abnormally attractive that most men will be, socially, in effect, non existent.

again, the lesbians aren't your problem. if every woman who meets you tries to stab you with a fork, the problem is you.

How does the overwhelming percentage of people in prison that come from families with no father figure in the home affect this obviously biased theory?

On the small scale study in my family my two kids (boy and girl twins by the way) are far and away more mentally healthy than my lesbian sisters daughter. So I say in my experience straight couples have a two to one advantage.

correlation =/= causation fail. a) two families does not a trend make. b) a single parent home is not the same as a two parent home, no matter who the parents are. c) "i hate gays and i think my gay sister's kid is fucked up" is not actually a scientific study.

*It's been suggested that (a) these were planned pregnancies, (b) there were no unplanned siblings, and (c) any lesbian getting artificially inseminated 25 years ago would have been educated, well off and quite strong, all of which, when combined with the fact that other studies show that homosexuals aren't any worse parents than heterosexuals, would explain the results. I tend to agree with this interpretation.

They Sell Burgers, You Know

You made Jesus facepalm

Ah, McDonalds. Home of my favorite french fries, though only when they're right out of the fryer, so hot you can hardly eat them. OM NOM NOM NOM.

Hmm. Maybe this cutting back on salt thing isn't so good for me.

Anyway, because a burger is never just a burger and everything is an assault on someone's religious beliefs, Red Cardigan is deeply offended by a McDonald's ad that runs in France in which gay people are being, well, people. Red Cardigan does not live in France. She lives in the United States, like me. Personally, I don't care if McDonalds uses tentacle porn (go ahead, search that, I dare you) to advertise its products in France, because I don't live there. But not Red Cardigan. Like any good Christian, she's deeply offended by something that doesn't affect her at all.

I realize that a certain segment of the population suffers from same-sex attraction. But the push to normalize homosexual activity, to force a narrative that insists that homosexual acts are normal and that the attraction is a good thing, is an attempt to make positive and good what is contrary to the moral law and to the teachings of many mainstream religions, Catholicism among them.

And that has what to do with burgers? Hey, guess what, gay people buy burgers, too! I know, it's astounding. It's almost like those homosekshuals are people, too. Huh.

France, of course, doesn't have to worry that much about their (largely) nominally Catholic population having any objection to this ad. France's growing Islamic population, however, might, since Islam also views homosexual acts as sinful. At present, the Islamic population in France is not inconsiderable, accounting for about six percent of France's total population.

"I'll tell the Muslims! You'll see!" has to be the weirdest threat from an American Christian, but you see it all the time these days. "We're reasonable, but those guys? Fucking crazy. You do not want me to get them involved."

In America, of course, McDonald's is marketed as a family-friendly, child-welcoming restaurant. A commercial winking at the idea of a father's cluelessness regarding his homosexual teenage son's dating adventures would probably not fly here, given McDonald's market in this country. But that's one of the things I hate about huge multinational corporations--they can play the game of being all things to all people, and show ads with mothers, fathers, and small children in this country, and gay-friendly ads France, without apparently seeing any contradiction between the two.

*headdesk* There is no contradiction, honey. You see, McDonalds isn't selling morality or religion. They sell fast food. In the United States, fast food is automatically considered family fair, being quick and cheap, so of course the advertising is family friendly. France, however, has a different culture, therefore McDonalds' advertising in France is different. That's right, the entire world is not exactly the same. I bet that ad was even in French. Wow! We'll wait while you mull that one over.

McDonald's got into trouble two years ago over their support of a gay organization; pro-family groups organized a boycott at the time. In the present economy, some families have seen McDonald's as an inexpensive, family-friendly restaurant to take the kids to for an occasional treat--but this ad in France may make some people think twice about that choice.

I'm getting pretty tired of multinational corporations trying to override the religious and moral views of huge numbers of people so they can look trendy while selling fat-laden unhealthy food or other wasteful and unnecessary products. You might say I'm not lovin' it.

If by "got into trouble" you mean "nobody noticed our little hissy fit and McDonalds continued to post profits", then yes. But, no, McDonalds isn't trying to "override the religious and moral views" of anyone. They are selling burgers. An ad featuring a gay person doesn't override anything, it simply acknowledges that gay people exist and buy fast food. Which they do. Welcome to reality.

pic link

And they're upset about teabagging? RLY?

Yet another conservevangelical republibagger has been caught out with a hooker. This particular hypocrite, Dr. George Rekers, works with NARTH. NARTH "upholds the rights of individuals with unwanted homosexual attraction to receive effective psychological care". Since the hooker in question had an online profile (previously outed, don't worry), let's see how effective that psychological care is.

Massage, good times, Travel, escort for days, nights and weekends, My name's Geo. 20 year old, 5'9'', 130 pounds, 28'' waist size,8x6" UNCUT, VERSATILE, NICE ASS. Puerto Rican, fair/light-Skin, blond hair, blue eyes and athletic/muscular built. I'm a college guy, masculine, educated, really easy-going, great to get along with, can hold a conversation and passionate You could just say I love to have a good time. Very clean, professional, HIV and Disease FREE. For a sensual meet or companionship. Will do anything you say as long as you ask ;D Repeat encounters are always more exciting for me and make it more casual and comfortable for you as well. Call or text anytime.

Oooh, he's educated, passionate and . . . UNCUT. And a college guy. Who knew "attending college" was as important a qualification for gay hookers as it is for female strippers*? You do learn something new every day, I guess.

Geo's vital stats:

Weight: 132lbs (60kg), Height: 5' 9" (175cm), Body Hair:Smooth, Build: Lean/Swimmer, Eye Color: Blue, Hair Color: Blonde, Foreskin: Uncut, Cock Size: Large, Safe Sex: Always Safe, Sexual Position: Versatile, Sexual Orientation: Bisexual,Drugs: Non-Drug User, Smoking: Non-Smoker, Ethnicity: Latino, Languages Spoken: English, Spanish, Tastes / Specialties / Fetishes: Vanilla, Leather, Anal, Oral, Shaving, Spanking, Role Playing, Kissing, Toys, Feet, Talents: Modeling, Go-Go Dancing, Stripping, Massage, Travel Companion, Tour Guide, Interpreter.

I like a list that starts with "vanilla", moves on to "anal, oral, shaving, spanking" and ends in "feet". Geo's a well-rounded guy. Whose talents include Go-Go dancing, stripping, and interpreting. I think I'm starting to understand the problem with the UN.

*They are not paying for college, and no, she's not into you. You are giving her money.