Are We Sure Andy Schafly Is Not a Poe?

This is the list of Greatest Conservative Songs from conservapedia.

[WARNING: viewing the list below may cause side effects which may include, but are not limited to, aneurysm, spontaneous combustion, brain death, significant loss of IQ, possession by Satan and the raising of Cthulu. This blog takes no responsibility for any injury, death or world ending apocalypse the reading of this list may cause.]

The list is 86 songs long (so far!) and includes:

Fast Car, by Tracy Chapman. Self-help, free market, division of labor, and a criticism of alcohol

Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road, by Elton John. The same message as the Prodigal Son: look objectively at our own lives, and realize that "I should have listened to my old man."

Stand By Your Man, by Tammy Wynette. Don't expect feminists to like that one! Or Hillary Clinton!

Andy, do you mean the same Hilary Clinton who stood by her man after he was nearly impeached for sexual relations with another woman? Also, Tracy Chapman and Elton John?! WTF?

"Gotta Serve Somebody" by Bob Dylan. "It may be the devil or it may be the Lord."^[2]

Bob fucking Dylan wrote the 22nd greatest conservative song. Don't think about that one for more than 5 seconds, your head will explode.

"Neighborhood Bully" by Bob Dylan. Israel's right to exist and defend itself.

And number 35.

Takin' Care of Business" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive. The work ethic and promoting self-employment.

Has Andy heard any of these songs?

Walking Contradiction by Green Day. Though a vocal critic of the Bush Administration, here Green Day mocks the often self-contradictory and inconsistent liberal ideologies, hence the term "walking contradiction".

Let's just give Billy Andy's address and watch the fun happen!

Staying Alive, by the Bee Gees. Pro-people and pro-staying alive, and this: "We can try to understand; The New York Times' effect on man."

I . . . what?! Is that . . . tentacl- Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.