Apparently, it's Be Rude to Secretaries Day, that beloved holiday where I take all kinds of shit for no apparent reason and very little pay. Happy BRSD to me!
All of the below conversations happened in the same hour.
Exhibit 1:
Caller: Is Attorney X there, it's very common first name.
Me: (My boss' office has a glass wall facing me. I can see Attorney X in there with my boss and the door is closed.) I'm sorry, Attorney X is in a meeting.
Caller: He just called me!
Me: (I know he's been in there for half an hour.) I am, at this moment, looking at him in a meeting. He's been in there for half an hour.
Caller: I'm his brother! I told you that!
Me: Would you like me to take a message?
Exhibit 2:
We have an attorney that is of counsel to the firm. Essentially, he pays us rent to use an office in our building and be on our letterhead. We do take messages for him, but that's the limit of what firm secretaries are supposed to do for him. Mind you, of counsel's office is literally a two minute walk from my desk.
Caller: Is of counsel attorney in?
Me: (transfers call to of counsel secretary. the call comes back, which means, for whatever reason, she couldn't pick it up.) His office isn't picking up, would you like me to take a message?
Caller: This is really important, where is of counsel secretary?
Me: I don't know. She isn't able to pick up, would you like me to take a message?
Caller: Go find her! This is important! It's your job to do this!
Me: Actually, that's not my job. It is my job to take a message. Would you like me to do my job?
Caller: *click*
Exhibit 3:
Caller: Is Attorney X in?
Me: He's on the phone, would you like me to take a message?
Caller: I've left four messages and he hasn't called me back. Do you think it's worth it for me to leave a message?
Me: Sir, I can take a message or not, what would you like me to do?
Turns out, Caller No. 3 hasn't paid his bill in over 9 months.
I can't tell you how happy I am it's Friday.
