I Keep Hoping I'm a Wizard of Some Kind

Just the other morning, I intended to make coffee, but made a pot of hot water instead. After figuring out that this was not some sort of clear variant of coffee (that took a good 2 minutes), I proceeded to stare at the pot of hot water for at least 5 minutes as if I might have developed a super power that involved turning a pot of hot water into coffee instantaneously- which is what I do every time this happens.

The Dunkin' Donuts Anarchist

There is a woman who works at the Dunkin' Donuts by my house who seems to be practicing an odd form of anarchy: every time she makes my coffee, she puts flavoring in it. Sometimes hazelnut, sometimes blueberry, once cinnamon. I don't ask for this flavoring, in fact I've emphatically not asked for flavoring, but there it is. I hate artificial flavoring. I can taste the artificial. I can tell if you used imitation vanilla extract in cookies. Yes, I can.

I'd report her to the manager for this, but I bet I'd like spit in my coffee even less than artificial flavoring.

Please, Dunkin' Donuts Anarchist, stop putting flavoring in my coffee. Find some other way to make a sociopolitical statement that doesn't involve my coffee.

Thank you.