Really, all that work to get you to join the club and you wouldn't believe the list of things you can be kicked out for! It pretty much boils down to "whatever you're doing immediately before you piss somebody off." Religions are wonderful for creating bizarre and numerous rules everyone will eventually break, aren't they?
Adultery (sexual intercourse with a person other than your marriage mate), includes;
- abandoning wife and eloping with another woman
- planned adultery to break Scriptural marriage ties
- remarriage without Scriptural permission
- polygamy
- dating a person not legally divorced
Dating a person not yet legally divorced is most certainly not adultery. Also, is abandoning one's husband and eloping with another man acceptable?
Associating with disfellowshipped people including;
- friends - ks91-E p.103, w81 9/15 pp.25-6, w55 10/1 p.607
- family - ks91-E p.103
Was your mother kicked out? Your son, your twin sister, your dying uncle? Too bad, you can't ever see them again!
- Blood and blood transfusions
- Drug use
- Drunkenness
- Dishonest business practices
- Employment violating Christian principles
- working for any religious organization
- working in a gambling institution
- selling tobacco -
- contract work at a military establishment
So, can you sell alcohol? Also, working for any religious organization? Doesn't someone work at the Watchtower?
Fornication it-
- bestiality
- incestuous marriage
- artificial insemination
- sexual abuse of children
One of these things is not like the other.
Greediness, this in used to include;
- gambling ks91-E p.95
- extortion ks91-E p.95, w89 1/15 22, it-1 p.789
- greed in relation to bride-price: w98 9/15 p.25
Wait, what? Bride-price? O_o
- Obscene speech
- Parents condoning immorality
- Political involvement, including voting or holding a political card in Malawi Therefore Jesus, knowing they were about to come and seize him to make him king, withdrew again into the mountain all alone.
- Porneia. "It includes oral and anal sex or mutual masturbation between persons not married to each other, homosexuality, lesbianism, fornication, adultery, incest, and bestiality."
- Uncleanness
- sexually 'perverse' practices within marriage, such as oral and anal sex
- heavy petting and breast fondling
- touching of sexual parts
Fuck! I'm out! I'm guessing "parents condoning immorality" means not beating your gay child half to death. Porneia is a new one on me. Isn't lesbianism included in homosexuality? I also enjoy any list that puts masturbation on the same level as incest and bestiality. Ooo, and voting. That's of the Devil.
Also, how do they breed? Maybe that's why they have to recruit so heavily- if you can't touch sexual parts, you can't impregnate/be impregnated, and artificial insemination is out . . . so, no baby JWs. Brilliant!
Hey, maybe I could just tell the JW Grannies that keep visiting me that I "like fucking female donkeys while smoking cigarettes and playing blackjack in a voting booth." That should keep them away!
