The Invisible Hand Is Amazingly Stupid

Musings of Avast! Right Winger* is all upset that we don't know where General Gordon's horse's grave is. Apparently, celebrating the Civil War is much more popular in the South than it is in the North . . . except for Pennsylvania, which isn't mentioned once in the post. Do you know why? Because Gettysburg** is in Pennsylvania, and there is no Civil War site more visited. Every person in Pennsylvania has been there. All school children in Pennsylvania make the trek at least once. All of which makes it a little odd that a piece of the coat Lincoln was wearing when he died is mentioned- pieces of coats are unsurprisingly unpopular- but the site of Lincoln's most famous speech is not. Hmmm.

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I am alarmed when people think successful business owners would necessarily make great mayors, governors and presidents. Seriously alarmed. Why? Because what makes you great at business isn't anything you want unleashed on a country.

For example, the IT guys had been telling my boss forever to buy actual surge protectors and UPSs instead of those "surge protector" strips. Those things do nothing. My husband's studio has over $500 worth of surge protection, including a power conditioner. (I guess it makes the electricity soft and frizz free.) But no, meanboss don't spend no money, bichez.

Then we got a windstorm with 50mph winds. The power line was torn off the building and the resultant surge fried every computer that was on: our server and the billing computers doing backups. Oh, yes, we're screwed. You think he's the only business owner that pulls that shit? Think again. Business owners are all about the right now, what's making me money now, what's saving me money now. Next quarter, next year, next decade doesn't mean shit to them. Why do you think we're in the infrastructure mess we're in right now, anyway?

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All mothers are women, but not all women are mothers.

I can't have children because it would likely kill me (why, yes, restrictions on abortion do make me nervous, why do you ask?), but I had decided not to be a mother long before I knew that. You know why? Because I know I wouldn't be a good mother. I simply don't have the patience or the boundless affection necessary to be a good mother***. I have the patience and affection necessary to be a good dog owner, so I do that instead.

Does this make me a bad person? I don't think so. I think what would make me a bad person is knowing that I don't have what it takes to be a good mother but doing it anyway.

There is a myth that simply have two X chromosomes automatically qualifies one to be a good mother, and that bad mothers are aberrations, crazy people and very, very rare. Yeah, not so much.

But mothers kill their children in this country much more often than most people would realize by simply reading the headlines; by conservative estimates it happens every few days, at least 100 times a year. Experts say more mothers than fathers kill their children under 5 years of age.

At least 100 times a year isn't an aberration, nor were every single one of those women delusional or psychotic at the they killed their child. Some women just aren't good mothers. Unfortunately, they have children anyway.

I think we should start taking women at their word when they say no to childbearing.

*Actually, it's Musings of a Vast Right Winger, but I think mine makes more sense.

**I'd give you a link, but there are so many pages with "gettysburg" in the address, I can't even figure out what the official website is. Because nobody in the North cares about the Civil War.

***I know, I know, it's different with my own kid/once you have a kid. Maybe. And if it's not, I've done something horrible to a person who had no say in it.

When You Get PigFluAIDSEbola, Visit Rand Paul's House

Here's Rand Paul's plan to save 500 billion dollars. You'll love it, right up until you die of PigFluAIDSEbola. (Alternatively, I suppose it's possible Rand Paul is actively seeking to bring about the Zombie Apocalypse- fast zombie version- in which case, bravo!)

LEGISLATIVE BRANCH………………………….$1,283,000,000. (23%)
Notes: The Government Printing Office is abolished.

Sweet, he's getting rid of his own job! Oh, no, he's not. He's getting rid of our national library. Who needed information, anyway?

JUDICIAL BRANCH………………………………..$2,434,000,000. (32%)

Fuck it, who needs judges anyway? Laws are so 2010.

AGRICULTURE……………………………………..$42,542,000,000. (30%)
The Agriculture Research Service, National Institute of Food and Agriculture, Resources Conservation Service, and Foreign Agricultural Service are abolished. The Forest Service gets a $1.2 billion haircut.

We really could make a lot of cuts in agriculture. For example, when my BIL worked at Johnson & Johnson headquarters, they allowed sheep to graze on the front lawn every so often so they could get tax cuts meant for actual sheep herders. We could definitely get rid of that sort of thing. That's not what Rand Paul is talking about, is he?

Agriculture Research Service, and the National Institute of Food and Agriculture- two of America's premier scientific organization, doing research on diabetes and diseases the destroy crops. Who needs that? You don't eat things, do you? Fuck it, you've never heard of it, it must not do anything useful to you.

COMMERCE……………………………………………$5,322,000,000. (54%)
National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) is cut by $857,000,000.

National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration- Did you check the weather today to see if you should carry an umbrella or a snow shovel? In the future, you can guess about that. It'll be fun.

EDUCATION…………………………………………..$78,000,000,000 (83%)
Only the Pell grant program survives.

Education? Who the fuck needs that?

ENERGY……………………………………………………$44,200,000,000 (100%)
The Defense Department takes over all of Energy’s remaining functions (nuclear waste, for example) and about $18 billion of its budget.

Yeah, you know what I'm not messing with? Nuclear waste. Let's not induce confusion in the process of dealing with nuclear waste.

HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES…………..$26,510,000,000. (26%)
Notes: FDA is cut by $230,000,000; Indian Health Service is cut by $650 million; CDC is cut by $1.17 billion; NIH by $5.8 billion.

What have the FDA, the CDC or the NIH done for you lately? Seriously, they're just a waste. I like eating a mixture of pig feet and mercury when I think I'm eating tofu. It adds a little excitement to my day. And plagues? Plagues are fucking awesome! I'm sure we'll all enjoy the PigFluAIDSEbola outbreak of 2013. When 90% of humanity dies, there's more for the rest of us!

HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT….$53,100,000,000. (100%)
Notes: Completely eliminated. Veterans’ housing programs are transferred to the VA

Cuz who needs housing? If those poor people don't like being homeless, they should go live in their bootstraps.

JUSTICE…………………………………………………….$9,057,000,000. (28%)
Note: Office of Justice Programs is abolished.

Rand Paul likes the judiciary so much, he cut it twice!

TRANSPORTATION……………………………………..$42,810,000,000. (49%)
Notes: Amtrak is completely de-funded.

I'm guessing that Amtrak is not 49% of the DOT budget, and considering the state of our roads and bridges, this really concerns me. Unlike Rand Paul, I do not think plunging from a suddenly collapsing bridge would be fun.

CORPS OF ENGINEERS.……………………………….$1,854,000,000. (27%)

Ah, the US Army Corps of Engineers. They're only responsible for investigating, developing and maintaining the nation's water and related environmental resources. You don't need water, do you?

Let's see what (else) Rand Paul wants to abolish entirely:

Affordable Housing Program. God, those poor people and their incessant whinging about housing! fuck them!

Consumer Product Safety Commission. Caveat emptor, bitches! CAVEAT EMPTOR!

National Endowment for the Arts. Art, who the fuck needs that while your children are dying in unsafe cribs and you're bleeding from every orifice from the PigFluAIDSEbola plague?

These people, they scare me.