There's a Medication for That

One day, you'll kick yourself for not reading this.

Why is it that if I told you Samara from The Ring was stalking me, you'd carry me to the psych ward kicking and screaming, but the religious get a pass for exactly the same sort of belief?

Yeah, right. The paranormal world of Fringe exists in the minds of the writers and the designs of the producers, but don’t be fooled into thinking that there isn’t a very real and very dangerous parallel universe that intersects ours on a minute by minute basis. The Bible is as stuffed as a holiday turkey with accounts and examples of these two worlds colliding with shocking and life altering results. Now you can deny or ignore this truth, but that does not make the reality of the spiritual world any less real. You are living in the fringe, so I would highly recommend being informed and aware of how to survive and conquer.

Umm . . . I don't think that word, "reality", means quite what you think it means. Seriously, this is the plot to Hellblazer, only he seems to think of it as really, really real, you know, like the desk I'm sitting at. Apparently, I need some holy water, a vial of dragon's breath and silver bullets . . .

Survival tip #1 - Open your eyes!

Useful advice for both slow and fast zombies, really.

Because you possess an eternal soul, you have two levels of awareness. One, obviously, is what you observe on a physical level, but that is only half the equation.

Wut? Two levels of awareness? Can you prove that? At all? If not, you're on the same level as that guy on the bus who swears the KGB put microwave receivers in his fillings.

Can you imagine? The servant thought they were completely outmatched - but in reality there was an angelic force surrounding their enemies that dwarfed their numbers by comparison. Ask God to make you aware of His presence and protection even in the midst of the most frightening circumstances.

There's that word again: reality. He must be using some alternate definition I am unaware of. *checks dictionary* They're unaware of it, too.

Survival tip #2 - Open Fire!

Don't hesitate with zombies, but unless you have the appropriate ammunition for werewolves and vampires, I'd recommend trying to hide or running away. Otherwise, you'll just piss them off.

Far too many Christians live on the fringe of the fringe. We sometimes think that being a Christ follower is occasionally showing up for church, praying before meals and tests, and reading the Bible when the mood strikes them. Hey guys, that’s like being drafted into the military during war time and showing up to the battle armed with an i-Pad and wearing footy pajamas!

Unless it's an imaginary war and your imaginary foes are armed with imaginary weapons, in which case an iPad and pjs are just as useful as anything else.

Bottom line: there is no neutral position in this war. You either take your journey with Jesus Christ seriously, or you will be seriously rocked.

RAWKED! lol. Anyway, I'm an atheist, and I have not noticed any RAWKing, so . . . not so much.

Get in the game

EA Sports called, they'd like to have a discussion with you about copyright infringement.

by suiting up each day with the armor God has graciously provided us: Be ready! Let the truth be like a belt around your waist,

the truth will hold up my pants?

and let God's justice protect you like armor.

Considering the news coming out of countries where Christians really are persecuted, I don't think it's like armor so much as it's like not having any protection at all.

Your desire to tell the good news about peace should be like shoes on your feet.

knee high, strapped and buckled? interesting.

Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Let God's saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God's message that comes from the Spirit (Ephesians 6:14-17, CEV).

Good luck with your imaginary shoes and your imaginary belt and your imaginary shield and your imaginary helmet and your imaginary sword. Have you considered imaginary greaves to complete your outfit?

Survival tip #3 - Open your mouth!

Generally not a good strategy against zombies, although it's possible you could persuade werewolves or vampires to kill you quickly.

This battle is about the destiny of humanity - which includes your friends who don’t know about the good news of Jesus Christ.

Ah, I love imaginary battles about imaginary destinies. Which is why I play video games. Which I know aren't real.

You are living in a dual reality where the physical and spiritual worlds collide each day in a battle for souls.

That no one can prove in the slightest. Which separates it from reality in that, well, not reality.

Here's my advice, while we're discussing imaginary dangers and ways to deal with them: never run from anything immortal. It attracts their attention.

pic link

Reality, Self Delusion and You: A Play

the reality, self delusion, religion, tithing, tithe, bible, irony, absurd, theatre, theater
featuring: Reality, an overworked woman in her late 30s, with frizzy, greying brown hair and sad brown eyes



Self Delusion: viewed differently by every member of the audience as their sexual fantasy, with occasional glimpses of something corrupt and twisted.



You: well, there you are.



---------------------------------------------



You, in a room with Self Delusion. Self Delusion pats your arm and whispers soothing nothings about prayer and god. You feel the urge to swat the slime off your arm, though you can't imagine how it got there.



Enter Reality.



"Sorry I'm late, I just got back from a conference on abstinence only edu--Oh, now what is going on here? And why weren't you at the conference?"



Self Delusion smirks and flicks a mucous-encrusted tail that isn't there. "Well, dear, I knew I wasn't winning that one, so I decided to get to our next appointment a little early."



Reality opens her battered messenger bag and immediately drops what appears to be at least one billion sheets of paper on the floor. She starts sorting through the papers. "Which one is this? The abusive relationship? The dying child? The foreclosure? Oh, yeah, this is the foreclosure, isn't it?" Reality triumphantly pulls a crumpled sheet of paper from the pile, which then disappears. She scans the page, then smiles. "This one is easy." Reality turns to You and says, "Just stop tithing to the church, and you'll have enough money to pay your mortgage."



Self Delusion snickers and gestures for You to speak. "I can't stop tithing," You reply.



Reality, who had been in the process of fading off to some other appointment, brings herself back. "What do you mean, you can't? Of course you can. Stop handing over the money."



You glance over at Self Delusion, who nods encouragement, and seems to have grown fangs. "But the Bible says . . ."



Reality snorts and pushes frizzy curls out of her face. "The Bible says to give everything away to the poor. Of course, if everyone did that, everyone would simultaneously become poor and not poor, and anyway," She roots around in her bag and withdraws another crumpled paper. "Your church is doing . . . quite well. They won't miss your money."



Self Delusion laughs. "Oh, Reality, you are so naive." He turns to You. "Go on, dear."



"I'm a good Christian. I can't stop tithing."



"Look, I'm late for two virgins getting married so they can screw. Your church is using your money to build a bigger, better church. Do I need to get Irony over here to explain to you exactly what losing your home so your church can have a bigger, better one is?"



Self Delusion giggles and rubs his claws, no hands, together. "Please, please tell her!"



You stand up straight and declare, "God will provide."



"Oh, fuck me." Reality sits on a chair that appears a bare moment before she touches it. She scrubs her hands across her face and fixes You with a sad-eyed glare. "No, god will not provide. God doesn't provide. God lets little children starve to death and die of treatable, even preventable, illnesses. God allows war and famine and plague, and doesn't give a shit if a tornado destroys your house and kills your whole family.



"God helps those who help themselves. That was me! I came up with that so that credulous fucktards like you would stop waiting for divine help. May as well pray for rain in the desert, you stupid snot! I am so sick of having to smack you morons in the face because you don't have the sense to see the train comin' down on you!"



Reality walks over, grabs You by your collar and gives You a hard shake. You can't help thinking that she hardly looks strong enough for that. Her grip is like iron and her eyes have taken on a distinctly reddish cast. "I'm going to speak slowly so you can understand me. Self Delusion is a really good-looking beast, but I. always. win. in. the. end. Always."



"Oh, but you lose so much along the way," purrs Self Delusion, licking his perfectly arched eyebrow with a serpentine tongue.



Reality lets go of your collar and starts to fade again. Oddly her eyes remain clearly visible. "Do what you want. In the end, you still have to deal with me." She spares an exasperated glance at Self Delusion. "C'mon, you need to go convince two virgins that the awkward, nervous sex they have on their wedding night is the best they could ever have. And totally worth skipping college for."