Who Would Have Guessed

This is exactly how I felt about it.

Mai Brane Went Erk!

I think I just experienced physical cognitive dissonance. It was very weird.

(Keep in mind, I don't see my knees very often. For 8 hours a day I'm either sitting at a desk or walking somewhere, neither being activities that really allow for knee monitoring.) It's been raining, for days. This sort of weather isn't good for me. It makes my joints ache as if I spent my time on a rack rather than in a chair.

Lately, my knees have been feeling swollen. This morning, it reached the level of feeling like my knees are the size of cantaloupes. It finally got to the point where I looked at them to see what was going on. (More like, holy fuck what is going on with my knees?!)

That's when my brain went erk. "Erk" is my best approximation of the actual sound inside my head when I saw that my knees were perfectly normal and my brain shut down. I think my autonomic functions may have stopped for a few seconds. The sheer disconnect between what my knees felt like and what they looked like was just too much to process and my brain hung up like Outlook trying to download an email with an attachment*. Then my brain did this:

Brain: Touch your knees.

Me: What?

Brain: Touch your knees.

Me: Why?

Brain: They're swollen. I can tell. Touch them and check.

Me: Look at them, they're fine.

Brain: You can't trust the eyes. Touch your knees.

Me: My eyes are fine.

Brain: You are wearing red glasses so bright I'm surprised they haven't burst into flames, can you see them?

Me: Well, now I can. Thanks for that.

Brain: What about your nose? Do you have any idea what I have to do with the information from the eyes to make it usable? The eyes cannot be trusted.

Me: You know, this is a really disturbing conversation to have with your own brain.

Brain: I wouldn't know, I am your own brain. Touch your knees.

Yeah, they feel fine, although my hand passing through where the swelling should have been felt like picking up a can of soda you expect to be full that is empty instead. I'd call the doctor, but I wouldn't even know what to say. And my brain's sulking at me now.

*Every single time those idiot computer repairmen stop by, it gets worse. I've changed the password on my computer and refuse to give it to them.

I Kid You Not

I just got done raking leaves. Which is a little odd, because not only are there no trees on my property, there aren't any trees within 150'.

pic link

Open Your Mind, Dude!

screenshot because the Schaflys aren't known for their integrity

I was scrolling through Conservapedia's Talk page (don't ask me, apparently I like having aneurysms) and came across the weirdest exchange ever. I don't really know what to make of it except that perhaps everyone at Conservapedia is drunk?

Mr. Arrogance

The news story about Nick Clegg accusing David Cameron of arrogance states that Richard Dawkins "supports the accusation". The linked article does not support that assertion. It merely refers to Dawkins as a named supporter of the Liberal Democrats' campaign to bring about a fairer Britain. It says nothing about Dawkins even being aware of the assertion, let alone supporting it. Perhaps the news item should be reworded? --ClaudeEB 17:12, 4 May 2010 (EDT)

I could add in the fact that a increasing number in the liberal media now refer to Dawkins as a clown. Would that help clarify the item? --ṬK_/Admin^/Talk 17:19, 4 May 2010 (EDT)

Umm... is there someone else that I can talk to? --ClaudeEB 17:37, 6 May 2010 (EDT)

Well yes, I am certain if you walk into most any street in Melbourne you will find someone. But around here a closed mind isn't appreciated, I'm afraid. You should open your mind, Claude. The truth will set you free! --ṬK_/Admin^/Talk 18:38, 6 May 2010 (EDT)

I edited the entry taking into account your input. conservative 23:40, 7 May 2010 (EDT)

That's just freakin' weird, although I do enjoy ClaudeEB's attempt to find a sober person to talk to.

I Live Over 100 Miles From the Nearest Ocean

And those things are called "seagulls".