Consequences of Gay Marriage

from GraphJam

Altruism: a Slow Guide

Apparently, you don't need holy writings to be a good Samaritan.

Fight to Adopt

Please, pretty please with sugar on top, give all the support you can to Vanessa and Melanie Alenier. (Even just a like on FB would help.) They are attempting to adopt a little boy (who actually is related to Vanessa), whom they have cared for since birth. If it weren't for Vanessa and Melanie, this little boy would have ended up in the foster care system. Unfortunately, Florida law believes that a baby is better off in the foster system than being raised by a gay couple.

This needs to change. You can help.

The Alenier's story:

Our son was 9 days old when he was released to us from the hospital. What a glorious, miracle of a day. We are blessed beyond words to be mommy's to this precious little creature. He is amazing. We love him more than we could ever explain. We are his family. He is our child.

Since his birth in January 2009 we have been fighting the state of Florida every step of the way to prove to them that we are deserving parents of this wonderful child. Not only that, but that he is deserving of our home as well. The 1977 ban is so black and white that those who continue to support it cannot see beyond its walls of homophobia. The road we have endured over the last year and a half has been filled with home visits by DCF once a month, home visits by the Guardian Ad Litem once a month, court hearings, trials, and many hours of e-mails and meetings with our lawyers Alan Mishael and Elizabeth Schwartz. It took several months to finally be heard in our trial for adoption which occurred November 2009. Our wonderful judge, Maria Iglesia-Sampedro, ruled that the law was unconstitutional and granted our adoption in that trial. However, it took DCF until January 2010 to submit all proper documentation in order for the judge to sign off on the adoption. DCF then had 30 days to decide whether to appeal, which DCF did. Since February 2010 we have been moving forward to defend in the appellate court the trial court’s decision that the ban is unconstitutional as to every gay man and woman in the State of Florida. If we win there, our case may then go to the Florida Supreme Court.

Fighting the system has become financially and emotionally draining. We have no idea how much longer this may take. Our home-life hangs in the balance at this point. The only thing that gets us through the motions is knowing that if our case is heard and the law is ruled unconstitutional in the higher courts, then the law will hopefully be thrown out in Florida. That would open the doors for all gay couples and gay foster parents to begin adopting in Florida. So many children need permanent homes and families. Why would Florida want to prevent these children from being adopted by human beings that should have equal rights and equal love to give?

You Can Have That Car In Any Colour You Want

As long as it's black. (I am somewhat misquoting Henry Ford.)

That was the first thing that came to mind when I read this defense of the traditional role of women at Ladies Against Feminism. The title of the post is "A Dream Deferred", which is really odd because the rest of that Langston Hughes quote is "is a dream denied", which would seem to contradict the entirety of the post, but who am I to expect consistency and logic from misogynistic fundys?

Every gift, passion, or longing we feel on our lives should be subject to the precepts of our Lord. From walking on the moon -to beating Thomas Edison’s patent record -to writing the screenplay for an Academy Award winning film -to becoming a wife and mother.

I’m convinced that every gift we have been given can be used to further the Kingdom through God-ordained means -I am further convinced that Christian young people (young women in particular) have believed the lie that we have been fed that tells us that the only way to realize our ambitions is to cast aside the sacred calling of our home -and, finally, I am convinced that, too often, we have used our dreams as an excuse to forsake the calling that we have been given by Christ -for so many of us, that calling will be towards our home.

Every gift can be used to further the Kingdom of God- unless you're a woman, in which case you don't have gifts so much as you have a uterus, start using it. If a dream deferred is a dream denied, then what is a dream that has been squashed, stamped out and discarded? Actually, Mr. Hughes has an answer for that one, too.

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

or

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

I'd say something else about dreams that come only in one colour, the same for you and me and all with two X's and no lucky Y, but c'mon, Langston Hughes. Can't beat that.

No Middle Ground

You're with me, or you're against me. You're for christ, or the antichrist. You believe exactly as I do, or you are evil. Fundamentalists are getting more and more polarized, and it's disturbing.

The absolute worst part about this is that every atheist, at least in America, has to be friends with theists. There simply aren't enough atheists in America for atheists to deal exclusively with other atheists, even if we wanted to, and I don't know any atheists who do. It's an example of Christian privilege, really, for Christians to eschew relationships with any but other Christians. We don't have that choice and they're complaining about having to deal with all the evil, antichrist unbelievers? Really? Oh, and they totally want to save us from hell. Without every crossing our paths, I suppose.

What would you do if you made a new friend but then found out they mock the Bible and their friends mock Christ? Would you turn a blind eye or would you end the friendship. I ended the friendsip because if she is not for Christ she is antichrist. She says I am ignorant not to accept people who don't share my views. I know the Bible says there is only ONE way to Heaven. Would you be yoked with unbelievers or not. I am just left so alone because everyone I meet is an atheist but I can't be their friend knowing they laugh at and hate my Savior.

I have to wonder what "mock" means in this situation? Actually mock (words have meanings, folks), or simply make passing comments that they don't believe it to be literally true? Also, "antichrist" does come up in the Bible, but it has nothing to do with being for or against Christ. It has to do with attitudes and behaviors opposite those of Christ. So, if an atheist gave to the poor and forgave those who hurt him, but a Christian horded his money and his hurts, it's the Christian who would be the antichrist. Why am I the only one reading the Bible here?

Also, there is just no way everyone you meet is an atheist. (If there is, I really want to know where you live.) Words have meaning. Everyone you meet might not be your particular strain of Christian, but that does not make them atheists. By definition.

Also by definition, atheists do not hate Jesus. We don't believe he existed. Do you hate Thor and Zeus?

How do your mocking friends deal with future Bible prophecy that is about to happen?

The same way I deal with horoscopes, I would imagine. Seriously, "how do you deal with events that haven't happened yet?" is a really peculiar question.

I'm not sure if it because I am maturing more in my walk with God, but I have no desire to have an unequally yoked relationship. The few I did have for a while just felt so superficial--not sincere at all. I was always grieved when I talked to them, so I just stopped talking to them. We eventually just went our separate ways and I've really not looked back, and I doubt they have. I've planted the seed, and its just out of my hands.

I think you did the right thing in this situation. If my friends were openly mocking God and His Word, we'd be butting heads, and that would be the end of that friendship. So far, the ones who did bring into question the deity of Christ, I've cut ties with them. I'm sure there will be more along the way, but that is why I want to be built up in God's Word to be able to stand firm in the face of adversity, and to shine for Christ.

I want to shine for Christ, over here, in my little corner where nobody but other people who already believe can see me. Are these people producing some sort of antilogic field with all their praying, because it doesn't seem like any logic is getting through.

Can light have fellowship with darkness?....

why is darkness a bad thing? i really can't figure this out. i have become very sensitive to light so even bright lamps are painful to me. (the sun is a blinding inferno of squinty pain) stop by my house at night and you'll find me happily puttering about in the lowest lighting possible. so for me, light is bad and darkness is good. i guess you should all just sell me your souls now.

I say no, I would find it hard to be friends with an atheist, I actually have one atheist in my family (not close kin though), when I found out they were an atheist, I feel bad about saying this but I lost alot of respect for that person...

don't worry, they didn't lose respect for you. can't lose what you don't have. it's good that you qualified that your blood relationship is distant. otherwise, i wouldn't want to get to close to you.

The person has never been outspoken about that, but she actually got mad at someone who lost a family member in an accident after they were saying things like they would see them again, she got mad and actually physically attacked her, telling her that there is no God, now I can't respect anyone like that family or not...

i find it hard to picture this event, unless the person is also mentally ill. or, maybe it was both her family member, too. grief makes people weird. i usually don't care about heaven talk, but when my grandma died, i was ready to hit someone with a chair after a while.

Atheist and those given over to absolute mockery and rebellion toward God,

those people are not atheists. you cannot rebel against what you believe doesn't exist, unless you are currently in rebellion against Poseidon. (in which case, stay away from the sea)

there is no reason to put yourself in the position to be around that kind of garbage.... Also since your born again, I would suspect its hard to be around that stuff, I can't even stand to be around people who drink, cuss, and blaspheme with every breath

now we're all alcoholics? i don't even drink casually. i do put truckers to shame with my cussing, though.

(which describes almost all my former friends), notice I call them former friends... I still hope and pray for them but I will not hang around them anymore, because it grieves me too much.

------

I truly feel bad for atheists. While I don't have any as friends, I do rub shoulders with some at work. I would love to be able to quit my job but can't and I figure God wants me there for a reason...and maybe that reason is those atheists, if only for them to think about where the beievers went to after the rapture?

I want to know what "beievers" are, then I might be able to ponder their whereabouts.

I share my faith with them but I do not embrace a friendship with them, no desire, nothing in common. If they want to call me narrow minded or ignorant, feel free. I answer to the Lord, not them.

As a Christian, he no longer has to obey rules of etiquette, either.

Julie, as you know we have a lot in common. Finding warm-hearted, accepting people is not easy.

no, as evidenced by this thread in which you all admit to dumping your "atheist" friends, finding warm hearted, accepting people really isn't easy.

I would tell them that Jesus is important to me, and that we're a package deal.

In my case, if they were mocking and offensive towards Him I wouldn't call them my friends anymore, after sharing the gospel, I would refuse to return calls.

Hey, I've said what I have to say, now go away! It's like a really unamusing one night stand.

Little do these people know that we are the best friends that they will ever know as we love them so much that we want them to spend eternity with us and to love Jesus in the same way we do. But, in this world, that is hard for them to see. Sometimes we can come across as impatient, no fun, borderline angry, and all sorts of demeaners can come to the forefront when we feel our Lord is being ignored and replaced with worldly garbage. Our Spirits our grieved and sometimes we are just exhausted from the Spiritual warfare.

You love me so much you have to hit me?

We as believers are in a very difficult place. To witness to worldly people in this corrupt world is a daunting task and one we just can't do alone, we need the Holy Spirit to help us and when all is said and done we are mocked anyway.

A difficult place of being surrounded by other believers? Yeah, that's rough. I love that I am bombarded by their religion every day, everywhere I go. If I turn on the tv, there's Jesus, whether it be Law & Order or House or football. If I listen to the radio, there's Creed, and a hundred other bands like them, extolling the virtues of power chords and Christ. 90% of the people I know in real life go to church, pray regularly, read the Bible on occasion, enjoy religious themed movies, etc. Yet these people can't handle it if one person says something slightly different from what they believe. That's the freakin' antichrist.

Very well said HFJ! The Bible tells us we will be hated for His Name's sake. Because we stand for Him, defend His Name, share His love with others, refuse to take part in the jokes or mocking of Him, we are hated for it. Many can't stand the name of Jesus and because we stand for Him we too are shunned and despised. Those whom belong to satan (if you're not of God then you're of satan no matter how "mean" that sounds, it's the hard cold truth) do not like Christ or Christ in us.

Yes, yes, you're persecuted and I'm evil.

Our duty is to share the truth in love regardless of what the world thinks of us. We can't water it down, we can't conform to their thinking, and we can't conform to their lifestyle or actions. If our words and actions are truthful and loving but offensive, their pride is the only thing to blame.

It's my fault you hit me?

These people make me tired.

Sluts, Unicorns and Other Such Myths

Slut.

It's a word every woman fears. There is no judgment worse than slut. To be labeled a slut is devastating, socially and personally. And it's permanent. Once a woman is labeled a slut, she is always a slut.

This word is ugly, shameful and misogynistic. It is control. "Act nice or you're a slut. Obey or you're a slut. Give me the power or you're a slut. I control the rest of your life with one little word." There is no equivalent word for men because, quite simply, the behaviors described by slut- in control, powerful, enjoying one's sexuality- are entirely positive for men. Sauce for the goose is never sauce for the gander in the patriarchy.

So colour me unamused* to see the above picture.

First of all, the above picture does not prove why I am a slut and no man will ever be. It's just a lot of male victimhood. Poor, poor man who can't get laid. Poor, poor man tricked into fatherhood by the lying slut. Poor, poor man who has to buy a car to get a girlfriend. Reality: you don't live in it.

Here's the thing, asshole: the only world in which women use sex only to get stuff is a world in which women don't like sex. I love sex. Orgasms rock. Oh, yes, they do. Sex feels good and I like sex. Of course, I don't have to fuck you to know that I don't like sex with you. You hate women. You can't possibly have great sex with someone who hates you. Great sex doesn't require love, but it does require a certain amiability, which you lack.

The fact that women have no interest in sex with you, oh creator of misogynistic quasiart, has nothing to do with the women and everything to do with you.

One final piece of advice: if you can't find someone else to fuck, go fuck yourself.

*It's a shade of mauve.

Religion: a Sick System

How to Keep Someone Forever is a guide to creating a sick system in a business or a relationship, but the corollary to religion is striking. Perfect, in fact.

Rule 1: Keep them too busy to think. Thinking is dangerous. If people can stop and think about their situation logically, they might realize how crazy things are.

Religion is good at this one: pray 5 times a day, attend prayer meetings, worship services, bible studies, read the bible regularly, pray regularly, have as many children as you can, evangelize constantly, and on and on and on.

Rule 2: Keep them tired. Exhaustion is the perfect defense against any good thinking that might slip through. Fixing the system requires change, and change requires effort, and effort requires energy that just isn't there. No energy, and your lover's dangerous epiphany is converted into nothing but a couple of boring fights.

This is also a corollary to keeping them too busy to think. Of course you can't turn off anyone's thought processes completely—but you can keep them too tired to do any original thinking. The decision center in the brain tires out just like a muscle, and when it's exhausted, people start making certain predictable types of logic mistakes. Found a system based on those mistakes, and you're golden.

See number one, especially the fundy strains that require many, many children, like Quiverfull.

Rule 3: Keep them emotionally involved. Make them love you if you can, or if you're a company, foster a company culture of extreme loyalty. Otherwise, tie their success to yours, so if you do well, they do well, and if you fail, they fail. If you're working in an industry where failure isn't a possibility (the government, utilities), establish a status system where workers do better or worse based on seniority. (This also works in bad relationships if you're polyamorous.)

Also note that if you set up a system in which personal loyalty and devotion are proof of your lover's worthiness as a person, you can make people love you. Or at least think they love you. In fact, any combination of intermittent rewards plus too much exhaustion to consider other alternatives will induce people to think they love you, even if they hate you as well.

God above all else. That is what religion demands. God above you, god above your family, your spouse, your children, your friends. Are any of the people you love not of your religion? Shun them. Only god matters. And you must prove your loyalty constantly. How much are you praying, how much have you sacrificed, how often are you attending church and evangelizing? And the rules, are your following them? No matter how insane the rules, you must constantly strive for a level of perfection humans can't attain, but don't stop trying, or you're not loyal enough. (See also, rule 1, rule 2)

Rule 4: Reward intermittently. Intermittent gratification is the most addictive kind there is. If you know the lever will always produce a pellet, you'll push it only as often as you need a pellet. If you know it never produces a pellet, you'll stop pushing. But if the lever sometimes produces a pellet and sometimes doesn't, you'll keep pushing forever, even if you have more than enough pellets (because what if there's a dry run and you have no pellets at all?). It's the motivation behind gambling, collectible cards, most video games, the Internet itself, and relationships with crazy people.

Casinos live on the principle of random reinforcement. There is no more powerful force. I see it with my dog every day. I trained him to sit by always giving him a treat when he obeyed the command. Today, he sits on command about 75% of the time. However, he stalks Teh Hubby while he cooks because every now and again something tasty falls on the floor.

How does religion harness this power? Prayer. Pray and pray and pray. Pray for everything, for mom to survive cancer, for little Billy to make the team, pray for love, pray for rain in the desert. Every now and again, your prayer will be answered- god is great! Never mind the 43,000 other times your prayers were ignored.

I highly recommend reading the rest of the post, it's brilliant- and frightening. The section following reward intermittently is an excellent description of my office, in case you'd like to know what my normal workday looks like.