I See Damentalists

In the category of "people who owe me a new keyboard" a certain comtesse sent me the following email: when you take the "fun" out of "fundamentalist", you get "damentalist", which for some reason had me spewing blue gatorade.

I couldn't decide exactly what a damentalist would be until I read these comments regarding the Boot Camp for Girls over at What Women Never Hear. (Discussed previously here and here.) Remember how fucking crazy that was? Remember "Reserve a lot of pity for youngest girls that give fellatio"? How could anyone forget that? Remember questions like "Commitment makes a man use his head about you. Devotion makes a man use his heart about you. Which do you prefer?"

Well, apparently AGuyMaligned was feeling a little hurt that not one person commented on the 26 (!) posts in the series. Why he continued for 26 posts in what was clearly a rather unpopular topic, I have no idea. Then he whined about it through the guise of his possibly imaginary wife. (Poor blog etiquette if I've ever seen it.) And contrary to my hopes that no comments meant nobody was paying any attention to his codified sociopathy, the damentalists showed up.

They scare me.

The Boot Camp for Girls series has been a blessing for me as I am teaching my 14 year old about how to navigate through the world of relationship. So his efforts were not in vain. Do let him know that and trust his words are not falling on deaf ears.

At some point he might consider bundling these articles for girls in an ebook and offering on the website after the series is over. It would be a shame to lose all that good information in a sea of subsequent posts.

That's how she's teaching a 14 year old about relationships?! Some people should not have access to children.

I read your husband’s post every day – they are a never-miss part of my morning. I’m the mother of 3 young women and my 18-year-old intends to read the entire boot camp when she’s not so loaded down with school. I’m not sure she’d comment, but she will definitely benefit. One of my other daughter’s college roommate is pregnant sans husband or any hope of one for behaving in the ways Mr. Guy warns against, so this advice hits close to home for us. He is giving them the why, which most mothers just don’t have, even those of us who have done our best to raise our daughters to view themselves too highly to give everybody everything. You’d be shocked at the numbers of grandmothers and mothers who failed to pass this wisdom on because they didn’t have it. So this mother (and wife for those posts aimed at us) is most grateful for all his efforts – I’m just not much of a “talker” when it comes to posting comments (although you might be fooled about that by this loooong post) ;-D

Hopefully, the 18 year old girl in question is putting her mother off because she knows her mother is insane.

What? No comments. Well, I must say we discussed several posts with our 13 year old daughter and I am always referring people to your site.

I would stop talking to anyone who referred me to that site as anything other than a joke.

. . . it was a thrill to me to see these things written down, because teenagers and young ladies so desperately need to read these things and take them to heart!

If that's what you consider thrilling, you need to seriously reconsider the turn your life has taken.

I’ve been so blown away by the “Boot Camp For Girls” series that I’ve been speechless. Actually, the series has been an answer to prayer as I attempt to navigate my three daughters to womanhood. Recently, my oldest daughter had a very discouraging experience: that of an older woman at church, no less, telling my daughter of her unhappiness in marriage among other inappropriate things. No one grows unhappy overnight and we are using the “Boot Camp” series to train our thinking to avoid repeating such a scenerio. This blog is one of the highlights of my day, it has generated many, many interesting discussions in our home, is now one of our primary tools for training our daughters and sons, and we have been able to help minister is some troubles marriages by the insights learned here. The thinking we’ve learned from here that will save our civilization. Every post I read gets my heart singing, “Bravo, Amen, Praise the Lord” Thank you to you two for making my day and our lives better.

O.o

Well, Sir Guy said it was my question about the boys that kiss and dump that inspired the series and I really appreciated it and soaked up absolutely everything he said. I’ve printed each post out to read and re-read and got my friends, Christlina and Tanja into it as well, even though they didn’t comment much.

According to "Sir Guy", she was kissing with desire rather than sensuousness and that's what caused the dumping. That's well worth a reread or three.

I read every post. I did facebook one of them and received thankful comments from some young women.

"Thank you for letting me know I should never listen to anything you say ever again."

But please know that we read every post and I am using them to help my late-teen daughters to know what to expect/do in their relationships.

Damentalists, there you have them.

Oooh! A Test! Did I Pass?

Yes, I was one of the freaky weirdos who liked tests. Because I test well and tests were always a nice pat on the head for me. And really, I didn't have a whole lot going on in the whole self esteem department, so there you go*.

Anyway, the Boot Camp for Girls (previously discussed here) has a "final exam" up, so I thought I'd take it and see if I still have it.

Attention, Girls! The exam is open-book, take-home, more homework than test, and more guidance than testing. Completion will make you unique among female peers.

Oooh! Unique! I feel special already!

Boyfriend has a greatest fear. You can avoid yours by helping prevent his. Do you?

Is it spiders? Because that's what my greatest fear is. Is there any place on earth that doesn't have spiders? *whips out some googlefu* Hmmm, Antarctica. Well, that's a little extreme even for me, so no, I don't.

Commitment makes a man use his head about you. Devotion makes a man use his heart about you. Which do you prefer?

That's like asking if I want chocolate or strawberries. Fuck that, I'm dipping the strawberries in the chocolate and calling it a party.

You habitually seek Full Disclosure under the mistaken idea that it bonds a couple. Not so! In fact, you tell boyfriends far too much about yourself, don’t you?

I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a black sheet. I haven't even told my husband my name. He's not entirely certain where I live. I am the ninja of relationships! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Female qualities generate attractiveness for more than sex. Do you possess enough of the right virtues?

Is snarkiness a virtue? What about the ability to raise only one eyebrow?

Feminine mystique captures the kind of male attention that more easily turns into devotion. Do you capitalize on mystery?

MySTerY? Mystery?

Happiness flows from gratitude. Are you grateful enough?

I . . . what definition of happy is that?

Relationships often split over misuse of two terms, ‘compete’ and ‘cooperate’. How do they work successfully in male/female relationships?

In male/female romantic relationships, male/female work relationships, male/female friendships? Do be more specific.

Prettiness, self-confidence, and happiness shine from the mirrors in your life. Have you put it all together yet?

Yes! I am the prettiest frog in this entire pond! I hear the loons!

Some female personality traits turn off males and shift their focus from you as person to you as sex object. Are you guilty?

Sure. Now who wants to punish me?

Teen sex shapes an adult’s life. Have you figured out how to handle it? Can you fulfill your hopes and dreams in adult life?

20 years later, I think I'm okay.

Female uniqueness starts with female modesty. Are you unique enough? You become embarrassed under certain circumstances. Do you appreciate what a blessing that is?

Ahem. Unique: Being the only one of its kind, Without an equal or equivalent; unparalleled. "Unique" is a superlative. Just as one cannot be "best enough", one cannot be "unique enough". One is unique or one is not.

You know you’re pretty, but can you be sure? Yes!

Oh, thank you creepy, misogynist, binary gender complimentarian! Truly, I needed your assurance, man who has never seen me before, that I'm pretty. Now I can truly live!

So, how'd I do?

*Now I play video games and work on achievements, and feel absurdly accomplished when I get one. Same thing, different format.