Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I See Damentalists

In the category of "people who owe me a new keyboard" a certain comtesse sent me the following email: when you take the "fun" out of "fundamentalist", you get "damentalist", which for some reason had me spewing blue gatorade.

I couldn't decide exactly what a damentalist would be until I read these comments regarding the Boot Camp for Girls over at What Women Never Hear. (Discussed previously here and here.) Remember how fucking crazy that was? Remember "Reserve a lot of pity for youngest girls that give fellatio"? How could anyone forget that? Remember questions like "Commitment makes a man use his head about you. Devotion makes a man use his heart about you. Which do you prefer?"

Well, apparently AGuyMaligned was feeling a little hurt that not one person commented on the 26 (!) posts in the series. Why he continued for 26 posts in what was clearly a rather unpopular topic, I have no idea. Then he whined about it through the guise of his possibly imaginary wife. (Poor blog etiquette if I've ever seen it.) And contrary to my hopes that no comments meant nobody was paying any attention to his codified sociopathy, the damentalists showed up.

They scare me.

The Boot Camp for Girls series has been a blessing for me as I am teaching my 14 year old about how to navigate through the world of relationship. So his efforts were not in vain. Do let him know that and trust his words are not falling on deaf ears.

At some point he might consider bundling these articles for girls in an ebook and offering on the website after the series is over. It would be a shame to lose all that good information in a sea of subsequent posts.

That's how she's teaching a 14 year old about relationships?! Some people should not have access to children.

I read your husband’s post every day – they are a never-miss part of my morning. I’m the mother of 3 young women and my 18-year-old intends to read the entire boot camp when she’s not so loaded down with school. I’m not sure she’d comment, but she will definitely benefit. One of my other daughter’s college roommate is pregnant sans husband or any hope of one for behaving in the ways Mr. Guy warns against, so this advice hits close to home for us. He is giving them the why, which most mothers just don’t have, even those of us who have done our best to raise our daughters to view themselves too highly to give everybody everything. You’d be shocked at the numbers of grandmothers and mothers who failed to pass this wisdom on because they didn’t have it. So this mother (and wife for those posts aimed at us) is most grateful for all his efforts – I’m just not much of a “talker” when it comes to posting comments (although you might be fooled about that by this loooong post) ;-D

Hopefully, the 18 year old girl in question is putting her mother off because she knows her mother is insane.

What? No comments. Well, I must say we discussed several posts with our 13 year old daughter and I am always referring people to your site.

I would stop talking to anyone who referred me to that site as anything other than a joke.

. . . it was a thrill to me to see these things written down, because teenagers and young ladies so desperately need to read these things and take them to heart!

If that's what you consider thrilling, you need to seriously reconsider the turn your life has taken.

I’ve been so blown away by the “Boot Camp For Girls” series that I’ve been speechless. Actually, the series has been an answer to prayer as I attempt to navigate my three daughters to womanhood. Recently, my oldest daughter had a very discouraging experience: that of an older woman at church, no less, telling my daughter of her unhappiness in marriage among other inappropriate things. No one grows unhappy overnight and we are using the “Boot Camp” series to train our thinking to avoid repeating such a scenerio. This blog is one of the highlights of my day, it has generated many, many interesting discussions in our home, is now one of our primary tools for training our daughters and sons, and we have been able to help minister is some troubles marriages by the insights learned here. The thinking we’ve learned from here that will save our civilization. Every post I read gets my heart singing, “Bravo, Amen, Praise the Lord” Thank you to you two for making my day and our lives better.


Well, Sir Guy said it was my question about the boys that kiss and dump that inspired the series and I really appreciated it and soaked up absolutely everything he said. I’ve printed each post out to read and re-read and got my friends, Christlina and Tanja into it as well, even though they didn’t comment much.

According to "Sir Guy", she was kissing with desire rather than sensuousness and that's what caused the dumping. That's well worth a reread or three.

I read every post. I did facebook one of them and received thankful comments from some young women.

"Thank you for letting me know I should never listen to anything you say ever again."

But please know that we read every post and I am using them to help my late-teen daughters to know what to expect/do in their relationships.

Damentalists, there you have them.


  1. I am... oh, I am sorely tempted to go over there and post. I wonder how long I could go before they realized I was making fun of them?

    ...But suddenly I'm afraid that there is no line I could cross that would make them say, "You know, you might be taking this a bit too far." This thought frightens me.

  2. I actually had a moment like that recently. It was a snarktastic send up of the way ultra fundamentalist stay at home mothers blog, a list of things to do to keep your marriage alive.

    #1 was feed him traditional french food, with full butter, egg yolks, cream, etc., and if he tells you he needs to cut out such foods, lie and say you did.

    #2 was feed the children in the shed out back so as not to disturb your meal time with your husband.

    #3 was smoke pot before he came home so you'd be happy no matter what.

    I read so many ultra fundamentalist SAHM blogs, that I didn't realize it was snark until #3. "Feed the kids in the shed out back" did not seem out of place to me. At all.

  3. "when you take the "fun" out of "fundamentalist", you get "damentalist""

    I disagree. Patrick Jane is awesome.

    [cue groans]

  4. "damentalist" is SO close to "dementalist", one who believes in their dementia...

    that i believe it's actually just one of those words that's an alternate spelling - they're the SAME WORD, with the SAME MEANING.

    that bit, about the "older woman, from CHURCH" [because gods forbid someone at church admit that their life* isn't perfect] talking to her [apparantly adult? or damned close to adult] oldest daughter about the unhappiness in her marriage - my FIRST take on that was, this was a woman who was unhappy and NEEDED to talk to a FRIEND. then, i thought maybe "older" actually meant not "older than my daughter" but rather, older enough that it's improbable that this woman would be talking to the daughter for comfort or other "I need a friend" issues - maybe this woman was trying to HELP the daughter, ya know, advise her, and was using her own marriage as an example - the best examples ARE personal, and most people would LOVE if it the people they care about can learn from their mistakes, and not make the same ones they already did.
    and either way, that mother? is a BITCH, and TOTALLY stupid - you DON'T hide the fact that marriages can become unhappy, that there can and WILL be problems - that makes it WORSE. and yes, that's the exact vibe i got from that comment - that this woman did NOT want her daughter to KNOW that marriages can have problems, be unhappy, etc. plus the extra bitchiness of implying that there was "unhappiness" because the woman was WRONG. that "no one grows unhappy overnight" shit [i mean, it's TRUE, generally, but she seems to be placing the ENTIRE blame on the woman. because men are NEVER in the wrong. GAH!] followed in the same sentence with that "we're using the BootCamp to train our thinking to avoid that" reads to me as "we're using the Boot Camp to brainwash our daughter[s] to ALWAYS do everything she can - EVERYTHING, no matter WHAT it is - to make her husband happy, so it's a "good" marriage by the only important measure - how happy HE is. we're brainwashing her/them into believing that what she needs, wants and hopes for have less weight and import than what her husband wants to watch on TV at any given moment."

    that's just sick. the WHOLE FUCKING THING IS SICK.
    WHEN are people going to STOP sacrificing their daughters - the child that they carried for 9 months, spent 18 years raising, that they purportedly love and want the best for - at the altar of "Godliness"?!!?! one can be Godly and still have fucking NEEDS, and i'm fucking sorry but a NEED take precedence over a fucking WHIM, i don't give a godsdamned ratass WHOSE whim it is!!!! *RAGE* and...
    now i'm too angry to be coherent anymore. just, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *this was originally a typo, and said "their lie isn't perfect". i've been SORELY tempted to leave it as "lie", then decided to correct and footnote. because "their lie isn't perfect" means the exact same thing as "their life isn't perfect" in many, many cases"


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