"reserve a lot of pity for the youngest girls that give fellatio"

The post snarked below could very well have been written by this dog.

Yeah, um, I'm not sure what to say about that. I'm not even sure context really helps here, either.

This is from a cracktastic series purporting to teach women about men? proper behavior? technical terms for blowjobs?

Maybe the labels for this post will help:

fellatio, handicaps herself, mental afflictions,screw her way to the top, self-importance withers, stroke her ego, teen sex, worthless girl

I've accidentally viewed some fetish porn* that left me feeling the same way those labels do.

Moving on to the post:

Precious granddaughter, I continue describing potential mistakes. In the words of a radio ad in my youth, ‘An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.’ Fortunately, your parents have taught you to avoid what follows. Permit me, in the interest of eliminating ignorance, to describe what likely happens to a girl that experiments and participates sexually with boys.

I feel like this was written for Playboy, if Playboy had been around in 1832.

So, anyway, what happens when a "girl", and I'm really hoping he means "teenaged girl", "experiments and participates sexually with boys"? Keeping in mind of course, I was 15 when I began experimenting -for science!- and participating sexually with boys, so I actually know the answer to this question.

She handicaps herself. She can’t associate normally with peers that are focused on developing and maturing themselves with adult skills, values, and attitudes.

Does anyone know any teenagers that are "focused on developing and maturing themselves with adult skills, values, and attitudes"? Anyone? Bueller? Anyway, I graduated top 2% of my class, got 5s on all three AP exams that I took, got a 1520 on my SATs and when I left college, due to financial issues, I had a 3.92 gpa.

Her mental maturation slows. After enough encounters it virtually stops. She then passes into her adult persona with mental development still locked in adolescence. Acting as mature adult women act and deal with the subject of sex seems foreign to her.

I left college at 22, 19 credits shy of graduation**, in order to help support my mother and younger sister after my father left. I worked two jobs and frequently didn't eat in order to help buy asthma medication for my sister and heart medication for my mother. My sex life was one of the few bright spots in my life at that point.

She absorbs a sense of girlish worthlessness except when desired sexually. It pushes her mindset to drop feminine and absorb masculine values.

I'm not removing links or footnotes or anything. There is no proof offered, no outside opinions, just assertions pulled out of grandpa's imagination. I don't feel worthless except when desired sexually. Actually, I get more self affirmation out of earning achievements in video games than in being sexually desired.

What grandpa is talking about is the dual mindfuck of the patriarchy. If a woman has sex and enjoys sex and seeks out sex she is a worthless slut. If a woman does not enjoy, have or seek out sex, she is frigid and worthless. There's just no winning for women in a patriarchy, and as long as you continue to try to play the game, you will be miserable. The answer, of course, is to reject the patriarchy, not your sexual nature.

Her will power doesn’t mature. It doesn’t embolden her to resist masculine assaults on her feminine spirit.

I think what he means here is that will power in women is purely a matter of resisting sexual advances from men, which are assaults on her very soul. Hey, buddy, have you ever had consensual sex? Are you sure?

She becomes afraid to refuse sex for fear of being disliked. Can promiscuity be far behind when teen girls are so plagued with anxieties?

I'm not even sure why promiscuity is a problem, really.

Her hopes and dreams die as she shifts her hopes toward attracting and holding masculine attention today.

Mmm-hmmm. All that from a little fellatio, huh?

She turns more to thinking as boys think. She seeks more stroking of her ego, as she learns how to live with being treated like trash. She cries for attention.

First of all, there's nothing wrong with how men think. (And they say feminists hate men!) Apparently, grandpa needs ego strokes, lives with being treated like trash and cries for attention. No wonder grandpa hates the ladies, if this is his inner life.

After she enters the workforce, self-defense pushes her to adopt the strategy of ‘screw my way to the top’. She fails to develop belief in herself that she can do it any other way.

Sure. You show me a study, asshole, because I've never actually seen this. I have seen, and been, sexually harrassed at work, but that's not something I did, that's something that was done to me. Possibly by grandpa here.

And here's the truly cracktastic part:

Honey, other girls must look out for themselves. You owe them respect as a person but little else until the bonds of friendship arrive in your life.

"Hi! We're the Bonds of Friendship and we'd like to see if you have any interest in attending our Sunday service . . ."

However, reserve a lot of pity for the youngest girls that give fellatio and a lot of sorrow for those that do it in public. They doom their futures much faster and dramatically than other girls.

Um . . . wut? How young are we talking, grandpa? Should the FBI have any interest in your hard drive? Do you regularly visit the Dominican Republic with Rush Limbaugh? And "in public"? Who's giving blowjobs in public? I . . . I'm a little concerned.

*Fetish porn is awesome- if you happen to have that fetish. If you don't, you're left feeling confused and vaguely skeeved. "I know this is supposed to be sexy, but I have no idea why-" *tilts head to side* "Nope, that didn't help." *tilts head in opposite direction* "What, how many penises does that guy have?"

**Technically, I could have graduated in 4 years, but the program I chose, international business finance with a minor in Spanish, was, like so many, a 5 year degree. It's not uncommon these days.