How to Have Sex- Advice from Virgins

homosexual, sex, lust, marriage, christian, virginity, religion, jesus, god, humor,
Next up, a physical virgin (you tell me, what does that mean?) gives us advice on having great sex. (My advice would be, if you're planning on sex in the great outdoors, bring a blanket. And check for poison ivy. And don't attempt to have sex against a newly planted, $500 Japanese Maple. Other than that, as long as you're enjoying it, who cares if it involves a wiffle ball, a skein of yarn and a clown with a violin?)

First, let me say that I am a proud physical virgin seriously, what does that mean? and I plan on remaining one until my marriage. spiritually, he's a slut? i can't figure this out. I cannot give firsthand experience. then you probably should not be giving the rest of us advice about sex then, should you. What I can do is refer you to the top sex expert out there. that crazy german lady? she is awesome. The One I am talking about is very serious about sex - He invented it! not the crazy german lady then. I am of course referring to God. shoulda seen that coming If you had a problem with your computer, you would likely look to the manufacturer for help. BWAHAHAHAHAHA. apparently, someone's never called their manufacturer for help with broken computer. good luck with that. Please don’t take my word on anything of significance wasn't really planning on it- look to God and His word. wasn't planning on that either. here's a clue for the clueless: sex- if it feels good and everybody's happy, you're doing it right.

Sex was God’s idea. God told Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and increase in number” (Genesis 1:28) cause after making 2 people, he couldn't possibly make more. He also said(Genesis 2:24) “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” that always gives me a horror movie image of two people melting into each other- ew! This means many things other than physical care to name them?, but you cannot deny the physical implications. God made man in the garden of Eden, but He knew that it was not fit for man to be alone. His solution? To form a woman out of Adam’s side. because he couldn't just make adam and eve at the same time, or make a million people all at once. genesis is a weird story. Before sin Adam and Eve did not see their “nakedness” - or shame. they would have to see their nakedness, if they were capable of seeing at all. they may not have particularly perceived it, anymore than my dog does, but they certainly saw it. I do not believe that God supernaturally had Adam and Eve’s eyes lie to them and believe they were wearing clothes, *sigh* but rather since they were originally morally pure, they did not have shame in any way. i doubt it's their "moral purity". it was ignorance. hello, adam and eve were newly made. they may have physically been adults, but mentally they were infants. my 7 month old niece doesn't see anything wrong in nudity, either. Adam and Eve as the first life partners could have enjoyed unlimited intimacy and pleasure. sex, everywhere! sex, as far as the eye could see! sex, sex, sex all the time! dude- get laid.

Then they were deceived to sin. really? i'd say they were tempted into sin by god's extremely unkind placement of the trees of life and knowledge of good and evil. if god really didn't want anyone eating from those trees, why didn't he just put them at the top of a mountain? or make their fruit singularly unappealing? Do you realize how much we have missed out on? sexy sex sex, all the time, apparently. The absolute best that God had for us in the garden - intimacy with Him and with each other in an unshamful fashion - was torn. dear salvador dali this guy has issues. When disobedience entered into the picture, Adam and Eve were seperated by the feeling of dirtiness they had. please give me a bible quote for that one. adam and eve were said to notice their nakedness, there was nothing about dirtiness. i think i just learned more about the writer than i ever wanted to know. The first husband and wife felt the need to form makeshift coverings from fig leaves (Genesis 3:7). which mormons recreate today! Then the couple hid from God (Genesis 3:8). The intimacy with God and each other was put on hold. Later, the Creator Jesus would restore that connection to those who will turn from their selfish life to one of faith in Christ. wait, so if i convert, i get hot sexy sex sex sex all the time? well, sign me up then!

Physical intimacy is wonderful. how would you know? It is so great that in today’s society a great multitude want to jump the gun and have sex before they are ready. again, how would you know? maybe they are ready. God invented water, but I do not recommend drowning in it. that's a freudian analogy in my opinion. water=wet=well, you know. In the same way, you need to use sex in the right way. is this the instruction manual for my blow dryer or something? First, it should be within the confines of marriage. cause nothing's sexier than two virgins nervously fumbling about. 1 Corinthians 7:2 gives us a problem and solution scenario. The problem is sexual immoraity. The solution is relations between one man and woman. wait for it . . . The verse says “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” because married people never, ever, ever cheat on their spouses. ever. in the history of time. Obviously the Bible tells us that the morally pure way to have the best sex ever no actually, the bible says absolutely nothing about "best sex ever", just religiously acceptable sex. those are two entirely different concepts.- sex the way the sex designer made it - is within marriage. When you wait until marriage for sex and build up that relationship with your future spouse, you are growing in intimacy. I don’t have to tel you that the peak of physical imtimacy for a couple - sex - is very peasureable. since you're a "physical virgin", apparently i need to tell you that. However, it is nothing to compare to the connection we will have with our Savior Jesus in Heaven. how would you know? The Christian who enjoys marital sex is going to have his mind blown away by the joy of Heaven. oh. dear.

More coming soon: lust and homosexuality. It's gonna be like christmas!

Defining Lust

atheism, atheist, religion, religious, jesus, bible, christian, christianity, muslim, hell, judaism, jewish, orthodox, burqa, modesty, lust
Quasar, over at the SMRT board, has possibly explained a fundy (and I'm speaking of Christian, Jewish and Muslim fundys here) viewpoint that has long confused me- lust.

Fundys make a big deal about sexual attraction, and it's never made sense to me. (Growing up Catholic, you learn a lot about the evils of birth control, but nobody makes a big deal about clothing or lust in general.)

We all know about the burqa and the head scarf, and if you live where I live, you've seen how Orthodox Jewish women dress. Christian fundys aren't generally quite that extreme, but they do make a fuss about modesty.

Quasar's explanation:

Now that I've got you interested with the title... how broad is the definition of lust, and how does this apply to sexually repressed fundies?

For me there are three distinct levels, and I only define the third as 'lust.'

1. The first is simply in passing: I notice a girl, and may not even consiously think about her, but my mind recognises that she has attractive features and I could tell others that she was attractive if they asked.

2. The second is more like 'admiration.' This is simply a platonic admiration of the other persons aesthetics: consiously registering their beauty. An example might be when your eyes fix on someone as they go by. Happens to me a lot.

3. The third is what I call lust, and involves actual sexual attraction. This emotion is extremely rare, and takes a lot to evoke, in me at least.

Now, I'm beginning to think that fundies may have a much broader definition of lust. Consider those who force women to wear head-scarfs to prevent lust from being evoked.It seems to me that they consider even the first definition, simple recognition of attractiveness, to be lust. Something Ray once did (Hi Maragon!) and the general behaviour of fundy christians, leads me to believe that they consider the second definition as lust. Or is it possible that the sexual repression both groups enforce causes them to experience the third definition of lust far more frequently than myself? Or a combination of the two? Chime in! What do you think?

While I find it entirely possible that people who are repressed about sex might end up thinking about it even more (Pink Elephants! I dare you not to think of them!), I think it may well be true that simply noticing a member of the opposite sex, or recognizing their relative attractiveness is what qualifies as lust to fundys.

This is an extremely odd viewpoint because, as another SMRT member noted, one could achieve 1 or 2 with a dog, a horse, a painting or a piece of furniture. Simply acknowledging the beauty in a person is not lust.

To view acknowledging beauty as sin is just mindblowing to me. "God made the world a beautiful place- don't enjoy it or you'll burn forever!" has to be the most depressing theology I've ever heard of.

Now on to 3, real lust. I fail to see what exactly is wrong with lust. For one thing, lust is a desire to act, not an action. For another, we're biologically programmed to lust. Perpetuation of the species and all that. I know, I know, Jesus did say that desire and action are one and the same. Lusting is the same as fucking. Anger is the same as murder.

What a peculiar viewpoint. For one thing, who can control their thoughts? Just writing this is sending me into a really detailed fantasy involving [censored] and it is HOT! What were we . . . oh, yeah, controlling your thoughts. Not possible. I suspect that any religion that puts you in the position of thought sinning is really aiming at a particularly insidious form of control. "You can't control your thoughts, pervert? Better get some Jesus before your burn! Oh, what, Jesus isn't enough to stop you from thinking sinful things? Better start attending church and reading the bible and tithing- otherwise it's the outer darkness for you!"

Thoughts are normal. Noticing another person's beauty is normal. Appreciating another person's beauty is normal. Lustful thoughts are normal. (This fantasy I am having- not so much.) Homosexual thoughts in an otherwise hetero person? Also normal. Getting worked up about it? Not normal, not healthy and not necessary.

We may need a few more bus ads.