However Do We Get the Poor to Save Money?

Look, the title of this Slate piece alone sent me into a rage. I'm surprised I didn't turn green, tear out of my clothes and go rampaging through Pennsylvania screaming "Faith MAD!" (Good thing, too, I don't have the insurance to cover that.)

I May Be Poor Now, but Wait Until I'm 65 ...

Is there a way to get the poor to save for retirement?

Um, no, really. Here's why:

Is there a way to get the poor to save for retirement?

THE POOR ARE POOR BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE MONEY!

I know I'm not with the Heritage Foundation or the Tax Policy Center, nor am I an economist, but I do have one qualification the asshat who wrote this piece doesn't: I'm poor! See, I can tell you why poor people do what we do, because I'm just telling you what I do.

What do I have saved for retirement? Zilch. My retirement plan is dying before I get too disabled or old to work. Seriously. I'm not being snarky, that's the plan.

Why haven't I saved for retirement? Well, I wrote this yesterday, Wednesday, and on Wednesday, I had $5 until payday on Friday. The bus costs $1.25 per trip. So, I have exactly enough money to get to and from work. That's it.

Why? Because I'm fucking poor, that's why. That's what being poor means. I got paid Friday, cashed my check at the pawn shop ($8 fee), paid bills (what I could anyway, paid $1 per money order), bought food and then I need a prescription. That was $15. The next day I went to feed the dog breakfast and realized I only had enough to feed him half of breakfast (he eats 2 cups of food twice a day), so I needed to buy dog food. Then my husband says to me that he needs CDs to burn his mixes to so he can check them on various sound systems*, so I bought CDs.

Then I had no money left.

Seriously, I hope I don't get my period before Friday. I hope I don't need any food or medicine or anything at all, because if so, it'll suck to be me. I had to steal toothpaste samples from my boss' office** to get to Friday.

Does anyone think that there is a way of getting me to save for retirement without giving me more money?

Apparently, economists do. Apparently, if they just convince me of the benefits of a 401(k) I'll rush right out and fill one up!

Through automatic savings . . . By simply switching the default—requiring people to opt out of a savings program, rather than asking them to opt in—the savings rate could shift significantly.

Seriously, that's the answer. Just take money I need to buy toothpaste out of my check automatically, and everything will be fine. Because it's not like I need every penny of my check or anything. And I love explaining things like that to the woman in charge of payroll. It was awesome explaining to her why direct deposit is not for me. (There are so many judgments against me, if I ever deposit any money into a bank account, I'll never see it again.)

Some have advocated making a retirement-savings tax credit refundable, which means that if the value of the credit exceeds the worker's tax bill, the government would actually deliver a check for the difference. In effect, the working poor could pay a negative tax.

That's not so bad, but keep in mind, I don't need toothpaste next March, I need it yesterday. That's what being poor is about. A person with money notices that their stove is acting funny and shops the sales to replace it. A poor person notices that their stove is acting up and does nothing, because they don't have the money to do anything, and then when the stove completely stops working, they stop cooking or they ask around to see if a friend has one. If you give this person the option of $200 now or $200 six months from now, what do you think they'll do? In fact, they'll take the $200 now even if the figure six months from now is $1,000, because they need a stove now. Which brings me to the last suggested solution:

A few think the only way to really pump up savings among the poor is to offer a matching program, similar to the way some companies match employee contributions to 401(k) accounts. Uncle Sam would pitch in $2 for every $1 a low-wage earner contributes, and he would match middle-class contributions dollar-for-dollar. The rich would be on their own.

Again, if you have money to pay bills and buy food and deal with broken appliances, then that probably seems like a great deal. But if you really, really need $200 today, $600 30 years from now is not much of an incentive to wait, now is it?




*Please say you'll participate in the release of The Cheat Code's first album! The songs are so good they may actually cure cancer!

**Once I borrowed on from him before a dentist appointment and he told me to take one any time I wanted, so it's not technically stealing. Poverty turns one into quite the ethicist.

Keeping the Boot on Your Throat, One Policy at a Time

Capitalism: It's like this, only with more screaming.

Today, I would like to discuss credit checks during job applications. I don't bother to check my credit. Whatever the lowest score is, I've earned it. I've earned it, not through irresponsibility, most people don't, but through misfortune: illness, job loss, circumstance. I tried to pay my bills, I just couldn't. Because no matter what the finger waggers like to say, anyone faced with the choice of paying the credit card bill and eating will choose to eat. Unless you've starved yourself to death to pay off your student loans, don't lecture me.

The reason I got my present job through a temp agency is that temp agencies, at least around here, don't do background checks. Everyone else does. I applied for a bank teller position and was told that my credit score was the only thing preventing me from getting the job. Then I had the humiliating experience of explaining each and every entry to the interviewer, in detail. That was so much fun.

Good credit scores are for the wealthy, the healthy and the lucky. If you're poor, you don't have a good credit score. You couldn't. You will pay your bills late, and if you've been poor more than 6 months, you know exactly how long each utility will wait before shutting you off- and you pay your bills accordingly. I've heard the advice not to get a credit card, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. Gas has gone up, electricity has gone up, water has gone up, food prices have skyrocketed, but you know what hasn't gone up? Wages.

More and more people are living one paycheck away from absolute ruin and part of the problem is credit scores. It wouldn't do me much good to finish college, because I couldn't pass a credit check anyway.

And what's the logic? I have no idea. There's no correlation that I could find between poor job performance and poor credit, and what sort of people do they think are desperate to get a bank teller position paying a little over minimum wage?

It's just another way to keep the boot of the plutocracy to my throat and make sure I, and millions more like me, don't ever climb one rung up the ladder. The more of the pie I have, the less they have, and if you have to go through life with only three gold-plated yachts, what's the point, really?

Pop Quiz

Okay, Hellions***, it's time for a pop quiz. Read the following quotes and tell me who said them:

1) Leggings are not pants. Leggings are the dickeys of dresses/skirts/long tunics & tees.
2) All flesh-colored leggings should be outlawed.
3) Grey leggings should not be allowed at the gym because they show crotch sweat like whoa.

and

I support all of these observations. I love leggings, but they belong under a longer shirt.

a. Stacy London of What Not to Wear

b. A sexual predator excusing his behavior

c. A commenter at feministe.us and a blogger at feministe

The correct answer is "c", though I'm sure Stacy has said those things and well, you'll see after the second part of this quiz.

Part 2 of the quiz, same question: who said this?

Ok, I have to ask, how often do people really wear leggings as pants pants? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it in the wild, though I’ve seen a billion leggings under dresses and tunic-length tops. I hear it complained about a lot though.

Oh I see it a lot. Sunday morning in New York is a virtual camel show.

Is this the statement of:

a. a well known feminist blogger

b. a fashion commentator

c. a character in "Mean Girls"

Yeah, it's Jill again.

Well, here's the thing about Jill: she's a privileged, educated, well off white woman living in NYC. I don't think she knows jack shit about my life or how I live it. And I don't think Jill gets that feminism is about way more than what her and her privileged little clique experience. So when Jill tells me I just don't understand her thinky thoughts and I have no sense of humor*, well, Jill, you don't get my entire fucking life. And maybe you need to step away from the red wine and Burt's Bees (she can't live without it) and see how a very large number of women live.

Do I get mentally judgey when I see other women? Yeah. Because I live in this culture and I have absorbed that I am required to judge other women based on their attractiveness to men. (I rarely get mentally judgey about what men wear. It's the patriarchy, baby!) But I am aware of this and I work very hard not to do it. I stop my judgey thoughts and replace them with this: I sincerely hope she was happy with her outfit when she left the house this morning.

Because I rarely am.

I can only imagine, based on the above, what Jill would think upon seeing me in my frequently ill fitting, sagging, pilling, old and often inappropriate outfits. Like Tuesday, when it was 80F/27C. That's hot, especially in April. So I was wearing a flowery sundress, in a soft, crinkly cotton, with an empire waist and spaghetti straps. It's like wearing nothing at all**, this dress. I did put a cardigan over it at work, but, yeah, inappropriate for a law office. Probably also inappropriate for a 35 year old woman.

But you know what? I don't have any money and I have to buy clothes for work, and walking around in the heat and rain and snow, and clothes for doing yard work and running around after nieces and for days when my hands are so stiff buttons are a fucking puzzlebox. That's what it's like to be poor, Jill. You get to be inappropriate, in public, where other people can see you. And you know it. You know those people are looking at you and thinking ZOMG! Doesn't she know what she looks like?

Yeah, I do. I just can't do a damn thing about it. And Jill, you have no idea what it's like. None at all. So stop pretending the problem is me and my inability to understand your amazing thinky thoughts, and start trying to understand, in some small way, what it's like to lose.

And I have to wonder what Jill would think about her words coming out of the mouth of a man, especially a man who sexually assaulted a woman. I mean, look at the way she was dressed!

Yeah, I just don't understand your thinky thoughts. That's the problem.

*We call that a Scott Adams, btw. Yes, that is a link to feministe. Irony, it's a funny thing.

**Stupid sexy Flanders!

***Please, please, please let me call you that!

Comfort Is Not for the Poor

"That clicking? It's just me taking a picture of my cleavage in the work bathroom."

I cried the other day. I don't cry often, but suddenly I was tired of being cold all the time, and not having as much fruit as I'd like (hardly any), and my breasts hurt. I'll spell this out for all the men who read here:

Proper breast support is a necessity.

Seriously, I knew as soon as I heard about bra burning that it never happened. (It really didn't.) I knew this because I walk around every morning before my shower without a bra on, and it's not comfortable. Walking around every day without a bra would be like walking around without shoes- on blacktop that's under direct sunlight on a 100F (38C) day. The bouncing, the chafing, the bouncing. Ow.

Anyway, I'd been passing off sore breasts as "this time of the month" or "huh, my lymph nodes must be swollen" and then I thought "I probably need a new bra." Walking around in a stretched out or too big bra allows for bouncing and chafing and underwires digging into odd places. (Walking around in a too small bra results in chafing, calluses, bruising and serious shoulder pain.) Fun facts about bras: cheap bras are crap and even nice bras don't last that long. Not a good combination for the poor.

You've seen it: women walking around either bouncing or with half their breasts spilling out of the side of their bras. They're not ignorant or being deliberately trashysexy*, they just can't afford a decent bra that fits. (Although as many as 80% of women aren't wearing the proper bra size, because other fun fact: even 5 lbs of weight gain/loss can result in a different bra size, and your period comes with about 5lbs of water weight gain. Wheee!)

So, off I go to Victoria's Secret (fuck the phone bill, my breasts are sore), and I requested a 32C with super pushup because cleavage has not been happening around these parts for a while, and I like me some cleavage. The woman looks at me and says, "C cups shouldn't have trouble getting cleavage, let me measure you."

Turns out, I'm a 30C now and Victoria's Secret doesn't carry "extended sizes" in store. She suggested ebay because "extended sizes" are super expensive. Because if you're poor, you have no business being comfortable. Fuck you for wanting breasts that aren't sore, bruised and/or callused.

Fortunately, I was able to get a "seconds" bra in a 30C for $10 with shipping. (The lace trim on the cup was sewn on wrong in one spot. Can't be sold as perfect, but wtf do I care?) It is so comfortable. I have noticed my breasts about as much as my belly button today, which is the goal on my end.

Unfortunately, I have one well fitting bra. I now need to keep money in paypal and stalk ebay for more bras. Yeah, that's easy when you're poor. Another note for men: We wear bras every day, you need a minimum of 5, and that's the low end. You're wearing one every day, right against your skin, and sweat pools in the cups of a bra like you wouldn't believe. Bras have to be hand washed and air dried, so you need to allow time for that. You need at least two skin coloured bras to wear under lighter or thinner fabrics**. You need a black bra to wear under black fabrics (lighter colours shine through). And damnit, I'd like a pretty floral, because why shouldn't I have something not exactly practical? Oh, right, POOR.

It's just one of the many, many, many ways in which poor people, especially poor women, get to suck it.

Next week: why I buy expensive tampons and the electric company should really take that into account.

*Nothing wrong with that, but millions of women have no choice.

**Never, fucking ever, wear a white bra under a white shirt if you can avoid it. You may as well wear a neon pink bra under a white shirt.

Welfare Is Totes Okay for Businesses (Necessary, Even)

When I first read this article about how cutting government services, in this case cutting bus schedules, hurts both the poor and businesses, my initial reaction was, as a bus rider myself, "it never ends". There's no end to the abuse the poor endure, there's no end to the calls to reduce the services the poor rely upon, there's no end to the poverty itself.

Waiting for the bus this morning, something else about the article hit me.

Across Milwaukee County, workers want jobs, and businesses want workers. Eric Isbister is the chief executive of GenMet, a metal fabricator located one block north of Milwaukee county. He needs new employees -- the expansion of his business depends on it -- but he can't get them.

The nearest bus stop is more than two miles from his factory. He advertises in newspapers, and regularly interviews prospective employees, but he continually runs up against the same problem. Often, he said, he'll see an interviewee's friends or family waiting in a car outside, ready to give the person a ride home. When he sees that, he knows he won't be able to hire the worker.

Isbister said he'd hire a dozen new employees on the spot, if only he could.

"I would welcome them with open arms," he said. "And we can train. We're well known for being the place that trains. You don't have to be a metal fabricator, you don't have to be a welder. We can teach you.

"But you have to be able to drive."

My immediate reaction to that is, gee, it's funny how affecting one portion of society affects another. It took several days for me to realize something else.

But you have to be able to drive. That's an odd way of putting it, isn't it? Why would you need to be able to drive to be a metal fabricator or a welder? What Mr. Isbister means to say isn't that you need to be able to drive, it's that you have to be able to afford a car.

Where I live, bus riders are divided fairly evenly between three groups: people too young to drive, people too old to drive and people too poor to drive. Mr. Isbister isn't talking about the first two groups, he's talking about the third group, and all of those people are fully able to drive. I have a driver's license. I know how to drive a car. I just can't afford to own, maintain, repair and gas a car. That's expensive and I just don't get paid enough.

Neither, I would guess, do Mr. Isbister's employees. And that's the problem. Henry Ford was a racist asshat, but he did get one thing right: he paid his employees enough to afford the product they were producing. He was only doing that to create a demand for his product (can you imagine a time when you had to create a demand for cars?), but the point still stands.

In order for businesses to be able to pay low wages, they depend upon our tax dollars to provide services to their employees that their paychecks just won't cover. Low wages won't cover the cost of owning a car, so your tax dollars pay for public transportation to get employees to work. Low wages won't cover the cost of food, so your tax dollars pay for food stamps and WIC*. Low wages won't cover the cost of housing, so your tax dollars pay for housing assistance*. Low wage and part time jobs don't cover, or even offer, health insurance, so your tax dollars pay for health insurance for their children. And on and on and on.

Nobody says a word about this. They just rip away more and more assistance from the truly desperate and stand about in confusion as the economy crumbles. Welfare for businesses is never called such, but without it, they can't even exist. But, hey, boot straps and self made men and all that, right?

*Yes, contrary to GOP talking points, many people receiving such assistance are working.

Dispatches from Poverty

You know what the real advantage of having money is? Choices. When you have money, you have choices. You can choose where to live, where to work, what to wear, what doctor to go to, what to eat- really, the list is endless.

If you're poor, not so much. You live where you can afford, and of course it sucks. Sinks that don't work, toilets that don't flush, windows that don't close all the way when it's well below freezing- just another day in paradise. You eat what you can afford and of course it's not fresh fruit and low fat, delicious meals, but at least you're eating. You pretend your clothes fit well enough, that what's on your head is a style, and you don't even like going to movies.

As for work, well, count yourself lucky to get screamed at, count yourself lucky to have sick days taken away and dental coverage dropped and unpaid, mandatory overtime? At least you have a job.

I walked into work today at 8:26. That would be 34 minutes early, and only because the next bus would have me at work 10 minutes late. I heard the screaming before I opened the door. My boss agreed to an 8:30 Monday morning deadline to sign a release. The release was sent to the aol account we still maintain (don't ask me) Friday at 6:00pm. I leave at 5. My boss does not know how to use a computer. I'm not supposed to be in until 9am. And he agrees to an 8:30 Monday morning deadline.

That's my fault, btw.

After enduring an abusive tirade- at 8:30 on a Monday morning after 3.5 hours of sleep- I was informed that I have to be in at 8:30 every morning. I will not be paid for the extra half an hour of work. I do get paid hourly, and if I show up a half hour late, it is deducted from my check.

That's right, I now get to work 2.5 hours of unpaid overtime. Every week.

"Oh, you should sue" is something I expect to see in the comments. I will laugh at your naïveté in advance: HAHAHAHHAAHAHA!

Sure, I could sue. It is illegal to make people work unpaid overtime. And what will I do for money while I'm suing? I can tell you this right now, if I sue my boss, I'm never getting hired as a legal secretary again. I'd be lucky to work at McDonalds after that.

I'll stay. I'll take it. I'll count myself lucky not to be unemployed in this economy. Because that's what you do when you're poor. You pretend that misfortune is luck and abuse is acceptable. Really, is it any wonder religious belief is more prevalent among the poor?

And That's Why They're So Fat!

[trigger warning: fat shaming, food. please enjoy this delightful otter instead.]

The bus I take to work goes by the high school right when all the kids are due, so on a rainy day like today, it can take 10 minutes or more to get 50 feet down the road to drop off the kids. The bus driver was understandably annoyed after the 5th time we sat through the light at the same intersection and started pontificating on how ridiculous it was for parents to give their children a ride to school- in the pouring rain, mind you. With ice and huge piles of snow everywhere.

First of all, before I get to the title of this post, I would like to point out that if you've never tried to walk everywhere in the winter, you should. It will be educational. Half the sidewalks are never shoveled and that snow turns into ice as people walk on it. Businesses like to pile the snow from their parking lots onto the sidewalks. The city becomes an obstacle course of ice and snow and what is a 5 minute walk in the summer can easily take me 15 minutes by the end of winter. I don't blame anyone for not wanting their child to walk to school in that.

So, the bus driver is privileging all over people without cars and decides to add another group to his privilege parade: overweight kids. "These kids never walk anywhere, and that's why they're so fat!"

I watched the two biggest kids on the bus flinch at that. I'm not sure anyone else even noticed the casual fat shaming. Why would you? It's everywhere. And two teenaged kids got to start their day with an emotional beat down.

I noticed something at Walmart that might help the bus driver understand reality a little better. I paid $1.99 for head of iceberg lettuce half the size they normally are, but I could have gotten Hostess snack cakes- a whole box of them- for $1.50.

I paid $1.58 each for fresh broccoli crowns, but I could have gotten an entire box of Honey Buns for $1.00. Hell, for what I paid in fresh broccoli, it would have been cheaper to buy three boxes of Honey Buns.

80% ground beef was a little less than $4 for 1.5 lbs, but a bag of frozen, unbreaded fish fillets was almost $6.50.

Bottled water was, per ounce, 4 times the price of generic soda. (Yes, yes tap water, but you've never had to drink water where I live. It smells like it's filtered over rotting corpses. We have to make our ice with filtered water.)

I'm having a very hard time keeping up with my new diet. Having cut out the fat, keeping up my caloric intake is difficult at those kind of prices. Throughout the entire store, fatty, processed empty calorie crap was cheap and in bulk. Healthy food that actually is food is expensive and comes in small portions. A big bag of Twizzlers is $1.25. That's what one mango cost.

If you're poor, and in the county I live in, a full 25% of families fall below the federal poverty line, and you're raising children, what are you going to do? Buy a tiny amount of healthy food and watch while your children spend their entire childhoods hungry, or buy a full pantry of crap that will keep them full? There's really no good answer, is there?

And that's why they're so fat!

Now, I don't want to hear what your stores where you live charge. Am I talking about where you live? I don't want to hear about "Walmart's not the only store there is", either. I don't have a car, so I beg rides from family to get to the store. Which puts me in about the same spot as the average working parent in terms of time and ability to get places. Despite this, I have checked out every store in the area, and Walmart really is the best deal overall. I can't stop by 5 different stores to take advantage of all the sales every week, and neither can the average working poor parent. If I go to Redner's, their produce is limited and I'm paying an arm and a leg for spices and laundry detergent. Price Chopper has great produce, but their cleaning supplies and fish* are outrageously expensive.

So let's not start a kid's Monday with fat shaming until we've fixed the walking situation, the poverty situation and the food pricing situation. You know, never.

*I am a vegetarian, but I always did eat fish occasionally. Since I've had to cut out eggs and milk, I had to find something to replace the protein. I tell myself that wild fish had nice lives before I ate them, unlike the poor pigs and chickens raised for slaughter. Do not ruin this for me. I need protein.

La La La La La - I Can't Hear You!

10 more siblings and her life will be fantastic!

I have previously dealt with the Jeubs' (a Quiverfull family that makes a living selling other people on Quiverfull) disingenuous arguments concerning unrestrained baby making and poverty here and here. They're at it again, it's Monday and I'm at a bit of a loss for something else to write about*, so here we go.

Many got what we were saying. Glum financial circumstances have hit most people at some time in their life, especially today. And we so identify! While these times may not be enjoyable, few can confess that they were absolutely debilitating. Whose to say that God can’t reach into the glummest of circumstances and pull people through? We prefer to give hope, not doom.

But a number of people insisted on doom. Read through the 100+ posts, some posts with an attitude like, “How dare you say poverty isn’t bad. It is very, very bad!” And they rattled off the worst of scenarios (famine, starvation, abuse, drug addiction, homelessness, etc.) as if to say, “Seeeee how bad it can get?”

Such hopelessness. Do people really believe money is that much of a determiner of their fate? Apparently so. Does poverty define a person (or wealth, for that matter)? It doesn’t for us. And we don’t believe it should be for anyone!

"Worst of scenarios"? Those are peoples' lives asshat! Right now, in this country, all over the world, famine, starvation, homelessness, etc. are peoples' lives. That is how people, right now, are living. Whether poverty "defines" people or not is rather irrelevant to this particular discussion.

Remember, the Jeubs call upon everyone, regardless of circumstance, to have as many babies as is humanly possible. If you know who the Duggars are, you know what I'm talking about. To the Jeubs, there are no reasons, none at all, to not have 20 children. That's why all the posturing about poverty. Poverty is a damn good reason not to have children. Famines and homelessness are not fixed by adding another person to your family. All you do in that situation is create another starving, homeless person. There's nothing in any of these posts by the Jeubs that actually deals with the issue of how having to divide limited reasons n+1 ways helps anything.

Well, it's dogma, don't expect answers there. It's not like the Pope has ever explained how a million more children ends a famine. (Although Jonathon Swift did . . .)

*What the fuck was up with the Black Eyed Peas? Is that just their thing?

Follow Up: What's So Bad About Poverty Gets Hilarious

This is poverty.

Yesterday, the Jeub family, purveyors of such fine titles as "Love in the Kitchen*" and "Love Another Child" asked just What's So Bad About Poverty.

Hilariously, a large number of people decided to tell the Jeubs exactly what is so bad about poverty, and call them on the idea that they are living in poverty. The Jeubs claim to live in poverty for one very good reason: they live on the incomes from their books. Their books advocate Quiverfull philosophy- have as many children as possible, regardless of finances, desire, general health, etc. So, in order to answer critics who ask, "What about families that can't feed the children they have, let alone ten more?", the Jeubs say, "Hey, we're poor and we do just fine."

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't consider people who fly all over the country with their debate team to be poor. I don't consider people who buy 7 turkeys at Thanksgiving and freeze 6 of them in their stand alone freezer to be poor. I certainly don't consider not buying a passenger van a sign of poverty.

So what do the Jeubs hang their poverty hat on? The US federal guidelines for poverty. Yup, that's it. Mind you, for a family their size, that's around $80,000, and the federal government is assuming you spend money on child care and traveling to and from work which the Jeubs do not, and is averaged from expensive places like San Francisco to much less expensive places where the Jeubs live.

Several commentors tried to explain this to them, but Mr. Jeub is a master debater [insert joke here], and equally masterful at deleting comments and banning people. You can click here and check it out for yourself, or you can trust my summary of the debate.

Jeub: I understand poverty- I live under the federal poverty line.

People Living in Reality: You buy 7 turkeys at Thanksgiving and freeze of them in your stand alone freezer. You are not poverty stricken.

Jeub: I understand poverty- I live under the federal poverty line.

PLiR: You fly all over the country with your debate team, poverty stricken people do not do that. Poverty stricken people can't pay for a bus ride.

Jeub: I understand poverty- I live under the federal poverty line.

PLiR: We've all seen your blog. You have a home, heat, electricity, running water, an internet connection, plentiful food, cheap health insurance, clothing for your children, the list goes on. You have no idea what poverty is. You are not addressing the issue of preventing pregnancies due to poverty.

Jeub: I understand poverty- I live under the federal poverty line. I am the master! Ai winz teh debatez!

PLiR: Repeating the same discredited statement until the other person gives up in disgust is not debating and you are not winning anything.

Jeub: Ha ha ha! I win, you lose! Looooooser!

PLiR: Oh, fuck you.

Jeub: You said a baaaaad wooooord! Ai winz! Ai winz all ur debatez fur all timez!

PLiR: In about ten seconds, nobody is going to care what I said . . .

You know, I just noticed that post was labeled "part 1". Hee hee!

*Here, I'll save you some money (please skip if you are eating disordered): You probably eat more than you think you do. The portion sizes they base calorie counts on are small. As in, you probably eat 3 times as much cereal as one 120 calorie portion. So keep track of what you eat, and here's some recipes. There, saved you $20.

What's So Bad About Poverty?

According to the Jeubs, what this child needs is more brothers and sisters.

The Jeubs are a Quiverfull family that appears to survive by producing books and such encouraging us all to pop out as many babies as is possible until our uteri give up or we die. And boy are they cheerful about it! Think Flanders levels of wholesome good cheer.

They have been asked, repeatedly, "what about poverty"? What about people who simply cannot afford the children they have, let alone another 10? Like all good fundys, the Jeubs just can't answer the question, or even entertain it, really. Which leads us to today's post that ponders the question What's So Bad About Poverty*?

I dunno. Let's see.

Approximately 20% of Americans live in poverty. How does it affect them?

The effects of poverty are serious. Children who grow up in poverty suffer more persistent, frequent, and severe health problems than do children who grow up under better financial circumstances.

• Many infants born into poverty have a low birth weight, which is associated with many preventable mental and physical disabilities. Not only are these poor infants more likely to be irritable or sickly, they are also more likely to die before their first birthday.

• Children raised in poverty tend to miss school more often because of illness. These children also have a much higher rate of accidents than do other children, and they are twice as likely to have impaired vision and hearing, iron deficiency anemia, and higher than normal levels of lead in the blood, which can impair brain function.

So, the Jeubs advocate that low birth weight babies likely to grow into children with serious health problems, born into families without the resources to deal with those health problems are a good thing. We should have millions more. Right now.

Levels of stress in the family have also been shown to correlate with economic circumstances. Studies during economic recessions indicate that job loss and subsequent poverty are associated with violence in families, including child and elder abuse.

Seems like something else we'd want to avoid. Unless you're a Jeub, apparently.

It wasn't difficult for me to find this information, and what I quoted was just a drop in the bucket. I do agree with the Jeubs that not having the money for expensive toys or summer camps is hardly child abuse, but consistently not having money for food and clothing and heat is a problem. A problem that will not be solved by adding more children and smiling a lot. Although I suppose buying their book would help them with poverty at least.

Seriously, look at that picture above, borrowed from a great post on Bright Nepenthe. Really look at it. That's unrestrained breeding. That's having babies despite poverty, the sort of extreme poverty we don't really have in the US. Do you really think that, if given the option of controlling fertility, the mother of that child wouldn't have trampled your ass to get some birth control? Do you really think that, if confronted by the Jeubs' cheerful declaration that poverty is no big deal, she wouldn't smack them six times, and then a seventh for good measure? The Jeubs challenge us to "love another child". Look at that child and tell me that love alone is enough.

*They seem determined to prove their poor creds, but in this same article, they cite not being able to buy a van they want as evidence of their own poverty. Cry me a river, asshats.

Ways to Save Money a Millionaire Would Love

Ever notice that there are many, many, many articles promising X number of ways to save money? Ever notice that every single one of those articles positively reeks of privilege? I have.

Small change
This month, turn your thermostat down 5 to 10 degrees at night (or program it to do so automatically) for a 5 to 10 percent savings on your monthly bill. Going away for the weekend? Lower it to 55 degrees.

First of all, a 10% savings on my monthly heating bill wouldn't be small change to me. However, my thermostat is currently set to 62F (17C). I can't set it down another 10 degrees unless I think I might enjoy pneumonia, which I know I won't. This would only be useful to someone setting their thermostat to 75 or above. I'll have to wait until June to enjoy those temperatures again.

Big picture
Draw up a new household budget this month, using mint.com or another free online tool. If you've got some specific savings goals in mind, like a vacation or home renovation, consider opening accounts for these and having money directly transferred from your paycheck or checking each month. (Check with your bank for options.) "We put away just $30 a week, but it really helps us at Christmas," says one Motherboard Mom. "Another $30 is put into a separate account for our regular savings," she says.

If I had an excess "just" $30 a week, I really wouldn't need to read these articles. I'm lucky to end the week with enough to buy a coffee, let alone save for a vacation. I also haven't been on vacation in about 10 years.

Small change
Skip the salon and cut your kids' hair (find tips at parents.com/kids/hygiene/how-to-cut-your-kids-hair/), for a family savings of $25 or more.

Are these people fucking kidding me? I get a haircut at Fantastic Sam's (not a salon and not fantastic) once or twice a year. I cut my niece's hair myself- because I had to. I would have been delighted to take her to a salon, but it wasn't an option. And again, $25, not small change to me.

Bonus savings
Have the kids make their own valentines out of scrap paper, old magazines, and other craft-friendly household materials. A homemade "Be mine" can be just as meaningful as the store-bought variety.

What, those crappy valentines I used to buy my niece for $1 a box? What are these people smoking? (Apparently, something that makes them think I have a store's worth of craft supplies at hand.)

Big picture
Take a "spend break" this month to help identify the little budget-wreckers that really add up, like that mid-afternoon venti latte or pair of on-sale shoes you didn't really need. At the end of the month, add up your savings: you're bound to be impressed. Keep that sum—and what you might do with it—in mind when little temptations strike in the future.

Must be nice.

Small change
Slash energy bills by unplugging unused small appliances, forgoing the dry cycle on your dishwasher, and turning off unused lights. Everyone in the family can be assigned an energy-saving responsibility. "A child can make a great sergeant-in-arms over electricity—he or she will be relentless about making sure the older siblings turn off lights," says financial expert Beacham.

Who the hell is using the dry cycle on their dishwasher?

Bonus savings
Be on the lookout for great buys on kids' clothes at garage sales and church rummage sales this month (as the weather warms, the sales usually start). You'll walk away with barely worn outfits, shoes, and more. For even more savings, sell the clothes your own kids have outgrown, too, and put the earnings back into the wardrobe budget.

Yeah, that was how I clothed my niece. For several years.

Big picture
Getting a tax refund? Super—but before you run right out and stimulate the economy, sock some of it away to meet those savings goals you set in January, then donate a portion to a favorite organization (it's a write-off for next year's taxes). If you're getting a large refund, consider reducing your withholding, says personal finance expert Ray Lucia: "Instead, use the extra money each payday to pay down high interest-rate credit card debt or fund a Roth IRA." Also, if you tend to rely sporadically on credit to make ends meet, withholding less (and having the funds in hand monthly to cover costs) may be a better strategy. If you have no refund coming your way and you'd like a little windfall to meet a financial goal, "increase the amount withheld from your paycheck so you get a small one next year," Lucia suggests.

You know what I do with my tax return? Pay for things I put off for the last 12 months- replacing shoes with separated soles, buying new glasses, paying for doctors' visits, fixing things around the house. It is stimulative, but it's not 20 new purses, either.

Be sandal-ready but budget-savvy by booking a pedi appointment—with a friend. By doing your own toes with a friend you can save as much as $40 a month.

I want to beat whoever wrote this with a stick named "privilege". I have never, in my life, had a professional pedicure. I can get nail polish for $1 and my arms do indeed reach to my toes (my torso bends, unusual, I guess).

Bonus savings
Planning to don those strappy shoes on...spring break in Paris—or a warm-weather vacay?? Ooh la la! Instead of paying high hotel or resort rates, search airbnb.com for amazing deals on home sublets in your destination.

shut. the. fuck. up. you. privileged. asshat. ooh. la. la.

Bonus savings
Pinch toilet paper rolls so they roll less easily. You'll curb overuse and save up to $5 a month.

What?

The weather's gorgeous—so get out in it, and do your errands by bike or foot. You'll save on gas and boost fitness, which pays off in lower health care costs now and in the future.

Yeah, unless you're already so poor that you don't own a car and you do your errands by foot when it's -5.

When organizing summer recreation, steer your kids toward the same programs: Camps and kids' classes often offer sibling discounts of $10 to $15 per class, says Stacey Bradford, author of The Wall Street Journal Financial Guidebook for New Parents. But don't feel like you have to snag a spot in that acrobatics class everyone's talking about, says financial pro Bradford. "You can easily save $200 or more a season by limiting the leagues and classes," she says. Take advantage of freebies—playgrounds, movies in the park, and backyard playdates.

Or you could spend no money at all on such things because you don't have it. Your kids will be fine.

Pay cash exclusively this month. "Research shows that you spend less when you pay with cash than with plastic because it hurts more," says nationally syndicated talk-show host and author Dave Ramsey. For a real summer challenge, Ramsey suggests "an envelope system to help you stick to your budget: Mark envelopes with the names of items you can pay cash for, like gas, groceries, eating out, entertainment, and clothing. Put the amount of cash you budgeted for that topic for the month in the envelope. When the envelope is empty, stop spending."

You could also pay cash for everything because nobody in their right mind would issue you a credit card.

Bonus savings
When you use cash, chuck all the coins you receive as change into a jar. At the end of the month, deposit the stash into savings—or just put it toward summer fun.

When did coins stop being money? I guess this person never bought $7 worth of groceries in nickels.

Small change
Offset a seasonal spike in fuel costs by organizing daily activities into the fewest trips possible. Have a teen driver in your home? Ask her to make a quick grocery run on the way home from her summer job. "I can't tell you how often parents tell me they're just dizzy from all the trips they make," says Beacham. "It's pretty amazing how far a tank of gas can go when you consolidate errands."

Dizzy from all the trips they make? With gas at over $3 a gallon? Who are these people?

Nothing beats the dog-day doldrums like a good film or book, but those media purchases can add up. Hit the public library for DVDs and books instead. Many systems allow you to browse online and put items on hold—no hunting the stacks required. And if you have a stash of personal books or movies you no longer want, trade them in for different ones or for cash

The library is some sort of secret to these people?

With back-to-school excitement comes a dose of dread: staying out of the red with the inevitable list of must-have supplies. Fear not. It's smart to take advantage of sales, but bear in mind that many items will be deeply discounted in just a few weeks. So keep last year's backpack in service until the new ones go on sale—and don't drop your entire clothes budget before the kids have done the inevitable trend scouting. "Let them go to school and see what kids are wearing," Bradford suggests. "That way, you'll have some money left over to let them indulge.

Leftover money? What's that?

The time-tested, proven answer to school-night dinner dilemmas? Pizza. And you can serve it up on the way-cheap with a store-bought crust and sauce, plus your (healthy!) toppings of choice. You'll save $10 to $20 over takeout—and have fun watching the kids prep the pie.

The last time I ate takeout was April 4, 2010. I am not kidding.

Bonus savings
Don't take the kids shopping with you! "I'm not a fan of bringing kids along to the store because that can lead to impulse purchases," says Bradford. Instead, browse online together. The kids can offer input without being swept away by store promotions.

Or you could say, "no."

Couponing is practically an extreme sport for some, but don't worry—you can take advantage of those money-savers without too much effort. Have coupons for products you buy regularly sent to you by sites like thecouponclippers.com, and cruise other coupon sites at the beginning of the month (or week) for those items. Plan shopping trips around double-coupon daysand watch for sales. And use coupons for the smallest size allowed for the greatest savings. Don't hesitate to ask the grocer questions to set up your couponing plan: "Many merchants will actually tell you about sales ahead of time and give you tips to maximize your savings," says Cathy Freund, couponing expert and owner of Money Mailer in South Kansas City. Visit the websites for brands you love. You're highly likely to find discounts and coupons there.

I don't coupon. Generally, coupons are on brand names, and if you've ever been to a store, you know the inhouse brand is generally cheaper than the name brand, even including the coupon. I also really don't have the time to wander from store to store inquiring as to upcoming sales.

Skip foods marketed as especially for toddlers or kids, such as toddler cookies or crackers. The markup on these products is typically 50 percent, says Bradford, while the "adult" versions are perfectly acceptable at any age.

Who the hell is buying toddler food?! We were feeding my niece kalamata olives and feta cheese at 6 months.

No college account yet? Open it now. "A 529 is one of the best plans," says Bradford. Then, if you feel comfortable, you'll be poised to ask grandparents to help fund it with a portion of their gift budget for their grandkids during the coming holidays.

With what money?

Gah! The privilege. It burns!