Privilege Displays in 140 Characters or Less

Even David Bowie is at a loss to describe your fail.

The world had better hope I don't take it over right after reading stuff like this, because that's not going to end well for anyone.

@RealKidPoker: I'd be the WORST at Price is Right! Brought 20k to buy a monitor, it was $350. @MandaLeatherman can vouch for how clueless I am with prices

.

Wow. It must be awesome to have so much money laying around that you bring $20,000- cash, apparently- to buy a fucking monitor. Here, let me show you my superpower: Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix is $0.44/box at Walmart, $0.48/box at Redners and $0.50/box at Redners. I didn't look up those prices, I just know that. I know, to the penny, what everything costs at every store in the area because I have to. Fucking douchebag.

@babesmcphee: OMG i was saying how i couldn't afford the gas to fly daddy's jet to the riviera this summer, and this barista totally rolled her eyes at me.

That better be a joke, or I'm going to have pin a prize on the barrista for not jumping over the counter and pummeling this woman. If it's not a joke, what do you want to bet she tipped her a nickel?

@tonywright: I wish I had a USB port in my head. Then I could download and transfer knowledge to others so they could actually converse with me.

Pretentious, party of this guy.

@brettschulte: I gave my cleaning lady a raise today, even though she didn't ask, as my own little contribution to fighting the recession.

On the one hand, can you pay the person who has access to your toothbrush and your toilet enough? Probably not. On the other, "cleaning ladies" are generally poor, because why else would you clean someone else's toilet, so this guy is doing exactly what the government can't figure out: putting money into the hands of people who need to spend it. So, it's a wash on how I feel about this.

@joshuabaer: fan belt light came on in the 911 so now I'm driving the Cayenne Turbo S - the backup, backup car. Trying not to think about the Tesla...

So . . . your penis is -1" long?

@denisejoyce: How do you write thank-yous for off-registry wedding gifts? "Thank you for adding something else to my to-do list" doesn't seem polite.

Well, now I know what to do to both appear polite and be obnoxious at the same time the next time someone invites me to some 3 day wedding extravaganza. Someone who makes 100x what I do, has owned their own home for 5 years and yet had 3 different wedding registries. I'm a little bitter.

@SonaliT: Watching a LOT of fashion mistakes go past whilst waiting for the bus. This is why I don't use public transport.

I'm so sorry my lack of fabulous wealth does not please you, can you ever forgive me?

@ozskier: Great, now any douchebag with 199 can say they have a MacBook Pro. Not backing this.

Find another status symbol, asshole.

@labur: All I want is just one day a year when I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties.

We're so sorry. You just tell us what day that is this year and we'll all stay home.

@ughman: A woman ordered a breakfast sandwich with sausage and bacon, while I had a whole-grain blueberry muffin. Am I justified in feeling superior?

No, no you are not.

@suzannegolden9: We WALKED to the grocery store this morning. We are ADORABLE. And green.

Oh, I'm ADORABLE and green? I thought I was just poor. Silly me.

@seanochoa: Is it strange to think that I was called by God to point my co-workers to the Hope and Love of Jesus Christ in this uncertain time?

Yes, yes it is.

@jc: Ladies, if you tell me your favorite restaurant is a franchise, we're probably not going to get along.

Yeah, well, I figured we probably weren't getting along anyway. Note: On my budget, Olive Garden is awesomely fancy.

@ezrabutler: Omg. They tried to give me a cappuccino in a paper cup. I could die.

Is there some other way to get a cappuccino? I has confusion.

@davidrankin: When I visit people's houses for the first time, I examine their bookshelves when they go to the bathroom. I'm rarely impressed.

You know what that reminds me of? The episode of MTV Cribs wherein Moby said the same thing about other celebrities' homes and claimed not to own a mirror. Moby shaves his head, but he doesn't own a mirror? This was followed by Moby showing off at least $1,000,000 worth of recording/music gear. Mmm-hmm.

And for the ultimate in twitter etiquette:

@labeet: Keep forgetting to say hello to all new followers. If I'm not following back it's because I found your stream uninspiring - at best.

Reminding us all that "unfollow" is as easy to click as "follow".

It's Not the Calorie Counts, Stupid

[trigger warning: food, calories, fat shaming. please enjoy this completely nontriggering otter instead.]

Recently, as I have whinged about repeatedly, I discovered that my constant nausea and digestive problems* are a result of biliary dyskinesia, basically gallstones without the stones. The only treatment is a low fat, cholesterol free diet.

Do you have any idea what a fucking pain in the ass it is to have to eat low fat, no cholesterol? At every meal? (At first, I thought I could have 20 grams of fat in one meal as long as I stayed low fat the rest of the day. This is not true. Not true at all.) Admittedly, having to go gluten free would be exponentially worse, but this is bad enough.

Forget about fast food. They don't sell anything low fat other than the soda.

Forget about ordering in. There's no way of telling what's in anything from the menu descriptions alone, and forget about asking the person taking the order. They don't know or they'll lie to get you off the phone.

Is the food in question cheap, convenient and tasty? I can't eat it.

Hey, I can eat tha-- wow, that's expensive. If I buy this, I'll only be eating 3 days this week. Hey, that's cheap, and I can eat it. Yay! I have to soak it for how long? I was kind of intending to eat before tomorrow. A crockpot? I don't even own one of those.

This is every meal for me since January 4th. So you tell me, why is it such a mystery that posting calorie counts at fast food restaurants doesn't work? Short answer: desperation. Long answer: privilege.

Desperation: There's nothing wrong with occasionally eating at McDonalds, for the average person, anyway. Your body can and will absorb a few extra calories, grams of fat and teaspoons of salt. So the the occasional McDonalds visitor won't be swayed by calorie counts, and they're not who calorie counts are for.

Very few people are eating at McDonalds on a regular basis because they think it's a good idea. What McDonalds is is cheap, convenient, and quick. If you're low on money, time and transportation, McDonalds meets your immediate needs: food that you can get to that's cheap and quick. Calorie counts won't change that.

Large portions of the population of this country do not have access to grocery stores, let alone organic food, and couldn't afford it if they had access to it. If your choices are dinner from the convenient store down the street or McDonalds, um, well, yeah. There you go. I may not be able to afford the food I need, but at least I can go look at it.

Privilege: This is what the FDA thinks the problem is:

As the FDA lamented in a 2004 report, "It may be that consumers do not take advantage of the available information on the food label to control their weight, perhaps because they do not appreciate how the information could be used for weight management purposes or perhaps because they find it too hard to apply the available information to such purposes."

Yes, Official FDA Lamentor, the American public is simply too stupid to "appreciate" what "this sandwich contains more than one day's worth of calories" means. Fat people are mouth breathing morons who are lucky not to drown in the shower. (Don't look up!)

Let's imagine a situation in which a mother and two children have to choose what to eat for dinner. The mother knows she can buy 3 hamburgers and 2 regular fries for $5, not including tax. Hmmm . . . wow, that dinner is not healthy. At all. Well, it's that or walk 4 miles to the nearest grocery story and buy, what exactly, for $5? Anything that would feed 3 people for $5 would likely be as bad as the hamburgers and fries, so why not save a lot of time and effort and just eat the freakin' hamburgers while we're here?

Now ask yourself, "how useful is nutritional information in this situation"? The answer is "not very".

The answer to the "problem" of obesity isn't calorie count posters at fast food joints. It's better access to healthier foods for less money.

Hmmm . . . well, I guess I can see why they're sticking with calorie counts.

*Trust me, the whinging could have been worse. I could have told you exactly what my digestive problems are. You must have good karma!

Let's Play Games In Hell

I've got a new game for you. It's called "Find the Privilege"! (Oddly, Parker Bros. is not returning my calls.) It's fun! For the whole family!

7 Foods That Should Never Cross Your Lips, no. 7

Mark Kastel, former executive for agribusiness and codirector of the Cornucopia Institute, a farm-policy research group that supports organic foods, gives us the scoop:

The problem: If fall fruits held a "most doused in pesticides contest," apples would win. Why? They are individually grafted (descended from a single tree) so that each variety maintains its distinctive flavor. As such, apples don't develop resistance to pests and are sprayed frequently. The industry maintains that these residues are not harmful. But Kastel counters that it's just common sense to minimize exposure by avoiding the most doused produce, like apples. "Farm workers have higher rates of many cancers," he says. And increasing numbers of studies are starting to link a higher body burden of pesticides (from all sources) with Parkinson's disease.

The solution: Buy organic apples.

Budget tip: If you can't afford organic, be sure to wash and peel them. But Kastel personally refuses to compromise. "I would rather see the trade-off being that I don't buy that expensive electronic gadget," he says. "Just a few of these decisions will accommodate an organic diet for a family.

Well, I suppose if I must curtail my collecting of 72" plasma TVs . . . for the children. I'm sure Dr. Kastel is innocently assuming we are all in his socioeconomic bracket. I'm sure he's simply never seen, heard of, or considered that there may be people who do not buy an "organic diet" because they have no money, no spending to cut and probably not much access to organics anyway. It's privilege and we can't fault the good doctor for implying that if you aren't feeding your children everything organic, it's because you hate them and hope they get cancer. Next week.

This same article suggests using bottled red sauce (i.e., Ragu) instead of making your own sauce out of canned tomatoes. Canned tomatoes contain alien eggs which will explode from your children's stomachs 10 minutes after eating, and possibly consume a man's testicles.

All I have to say to that is that Ragu is a crime against nature and I would sooner eat the children themselves than eat Ragu.

Is Organic Meat Worth It?

Yes, it's just a title. There's really no need for anything else, the privilege is packed into those words and needs no further exposition. I'm not even sure where one buys organic meat. They don't sell it at my walmart. The issue of affordability is secondary to the privilege of even being able to obtain such a thing.

All the Things You Need to Buy in Order for Your Children to Be Happy and Healthy

I did change the title for accuracy. (I'm also paraphrasing a bit)

Paint the walls, buy and maintain plants, buy things and donate things you don't need (what are those, anyway? i mean, things i don't need.), grow your own food, it's painted certain colors, but it reflects you perfectly, put in more windows- and skylights!- the furniture is new and comfortable!

Yes, yes, yes, it's thousands of dollars, but DON'T YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN?! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?! WHY CAN'T YOU POOR PEOPLE GET OFF YOUR FAT, LAZY ASSES TO BENEFIT YOUR CHILDREN?!

Privilege: it's what's not for dinner.

Ways to Save Money a Millionaire Would Love

Ever notice that there are many, many, many articles promising X number of ways to save money? Ever notice that every single one of those articles positively reeks of privilege? I have.

Small change
This month, turn your thermostat down 5 to 10 degrees at night (or program it to do so automatically) for a 5 to 10 percent savings on your monthly bill. Going away for the weekend? Lower it to 55 degrees.

First of all, a 10% savings on my monthly heating bill wouldn't be small change to me. However, my thermostat is currently set to 62F (17C). I can't set it down another 10 degrees unless I think I might enjoy pneumonia, which I know I won't. This would only be useful to someone setting their thermostat to 75 or above. I'll have to wait until June to enjoy those temperatures again.

Big picture
Draw up a new household budget this month, using mint.com or another free online tool. If you've got some specific savings goals in mind, like a vacation or home renovation, consider opening accounts for these and having money directly transferred from your paycheck or checking each month. (Check with your bank for options.) "We put away just $30 a week, but it really helps us at Christmas," says one Motherboard Mom. "Another $30 is put into a separate account for our regular savings," she says.

If I had an excess "just" $30 a week, I really wouldn't need to read these articles. I'm lucky to end the week with enough to buy a coffee, let alone save for a vacation. I also haven't been on vacation in about 10 years.

Small change
Skip the salon and cut your kids' hair (find tips at parents.com/kids/hygiene/how-to-cut-your-kids-hair/), for a family savings of $25 or more.

Are these people fucking kidding me? I get a haircut at Fantastic Sam's (not a salon and not fantastic) once or twice a year. I cut my niece's hair myself- because I had to. I would have been delighted to take her to a salon, but it wasn't an option. And again, $25, not small change to me.

Bonus savings
Have the kids make their own valentines out of scrap paper, old magazines, and other craft-friendly household materials. A homemade "Be mine" can be just as meaningful as the store-bought variety.

What, those crappy valentines I used to buy my niece for $1 a box? What are these people smoking? (Apparently, something that makes them think I have a store's worth of craft supplies at hand.)

Big picture
Take a "spend break" this month to help identify the little budget-wreckers that really add up, like that mid-afternoon venti latte or pair of on-sale shoes you didn't really need. At the end of the month, add up your savings: you're bound to be impressed. Keep that sum—and what you might do with it—in mind when little temptations strike in the future.

Must be nice.

Small change
Slash energy bills by unplugging unused small appliances, forgoing the dry cycle on your dishwasher, and turning off unused lights. Everyone in the family can be assigned an energy-saving responsibility. "A child can make a great sergeant-in-arms over electricity—he or she will be relentless about making sure the older siblings turn off lights," says financial expert Beacham.

Who the hell is using the dry cycle on their dishwasher?

Bonus savings
Be on the lookout for great buys on kids' clothes at garage sales and church rummage sales this month (as the weather warms, the sales usually start). You'll walk away with barely worn outfits, shoes, and more. For even more savings, sell the clothes your own kids have outgrown, too, and put the earnings back into the wardrobe budget.

Yeah, that was how I clothed my niece. For several years.

Big picture
Getting a tax refund? Super—but before you run right out and stimulate the economy, sock some of it away to meet those savings goals you set in January, then donate a portion to a favorite organization (it's a write-off for next year's taxes). If you're getting a large refund, consider reducing your withholding, says personal finance expert Ray Lucia: "Instead, use the extra money each payday to pay down high interest-rate credit card debt or fund a Roth IRA." Also, if you tend to rely sporadically on credit to make ends meet, withholding less (and having the funds in hand monthly to cover costs) may be a better strategy. If you have no refund coming your way and you'd like a little windfall to meet a financial goal, "increase the amount withheld from your paycheck so you get a small one next year," Lucia suggests.

You know what I do with my tax return? Pay for things I put off for the last 12 months- replacing shoes with separated soles, buying new glasses, paying for doctors' visits, fixing things around the house. It is stimulative, but it's not 20 new purses, either.

Be sandal-ready but budget-savvy by booking a pedi appointment—with a friend. By doing your own toes with a friend you can save as much as $40 a month.

I want to beat whoever wrote this with a stick named "privilege". I have never, in my life, had a professional pedicure. I can get nail polish for $1 and my arms do indeed reach to my toes (my torso bends, unusual, I guess).

Bonus savings
Planning to don those strappy shoes on...spring break in Paris—or a warm-weather vacay?? Ooh la la! Instead of paying high hotel or resort rates, search airbnb.com for amazing deals on home sublets in your destination.

shut. the. fuck. up. you. privileged. asshat. ooh. la. la.

Bonus savings
Pinch toilet paper rolls so they roll less easily. You'll curb overuse and save up to $5 a month.

What?

The weather's gorgeous—so get out in it, and do your errands by bike or foot. You'll save on gas and boost fitness, which pays off in lower health care costs now and in the future.

Yeah, unless you're already so poor that you don't own a car and you do your errands by foot when it's -5.

When organizing summer recreation, steer your kids toward the same programs: Camps and kids' classes often offer sibling discounts of $10 to $15 per class, says Stacey Bradford, author of The Wall Street Journal Financial Guidebook for New Parents. But don't feel like you have to snag a spot in that acrobatics class everyone's talking about, says financial pro Bradford. "You can easily save $200 or more a season by limiting the leagues and classes," she says. Take advantage of freebies—playgrounds, movies in the park, and backyard playdates.

Or you could spend no money at all on such things because you don't have it. Your kids will be fine.

Pay cash exclusively this month. "Research shows that you spend less when you pay with cash than with plastic because it hurts more," says nationally syndicated talk-show host and author Dave Ramsey. For a real summer challenge, Ramsey suggests "an envelope system to help you stick to your budget: Mark envelopes with the names of items you can pay cash for, like gas, groceries, eating out, entertainment, and clothing. Put the amount of cash you budgeted for that topic for the month in the envelope. When the envelope is empty, stop spending."

You could also pay cash for everything because nobody in their right mind would issue you a credit card.

Bonus savings
When you use cash, chuck all the coins you receive as change into a jar. At the end of the month, deposit the stash into savings—or just put it toward summer fun.

When did coins stop being money? I guess this person never bought $7 worth of groceries in nickels.

Small change
Offset a seasonal spike in fuel costs by organizing daily activities into the fewest trips possible. Have a teen driver in your home? Ask her to make a quick grocery run on the way home from her summer job. "I can't tell you how often parents tell me they're just dizzy from all the trips they make," says Beacham. "It's pretty amazing how far a tank of gas can go when you consolidate errands."

Dizzy from all the trips they make? With gas at over $3 a gallon? Who are these people?

Nothing beats the dog-day doldrums like a good film or book, but those media purchases can add up. Hit the public library for DVDs and books instead. Many systems allow you to browse online and put items on hold—no hunting the stacks required. And if you have a stash of personal books or movies you no longer want, trade them in for different ones or for cash

The library is some sort of secret to these people?

With back-to-school excitement comes a dose of dread: staying out of the red with the inevitable list of must-have supplies. Fear not. It's smart to take advantage of sales, but bear in mind that many items will be deeply discounted in just a few weeks. So keep last year's backpack in service until the new ones go on sale—and don't drop your entire clothes budget before the kids have done the inevitable trend scouting. "Let them go to school and see what kids are wearing," Bradford suggests. "That way, you'll have some money left over to let them indulge.

Leftover money? What's that?

The time-tested, proven answer to school-night dinner dilemmas? Pizza. And you can serve it up on the way-cheap with a store-bought crust and sauce, plus your (healthy!) toppings of choice. You'll save $10 to $20 over takeout—and have fun watching the kids prep the pie.

The last time I ate takeout was April 4, 2010. I am not kidding.

Bonus savings
Don't take the kids shopping with you! "I'm not a fan of bringing kids along to the store because that can lead to impulse purchases," says Bradford. Instead, browse online together. The kids can offer input without being swept away by store promotions.

Or you could say, "no."

Couponing is practically an extreme sport for some, but don't worry—you can take advantage of those money-savers without too much effort. Have coupons for products you buy regularly sent to you by sites like thecouponclippers.com, and cruise other coupon sites at the beginning of the month (or week) for those items. Plan shopping trips around double-coupon daysand watch for sales. And use coupons for the smallest size allowed for the greatest savings. Don't hesitate to ask the grocer questions to set up your couponing plan: "Many merchants will actually tell you about sales ahead of time and give you tips to maximize your savings," says Cathy Freund, couponing expert and owner of Money Mailer in South Kansas City. Visit the websites for brands you love. You're highly likely to find discounts and coupons there.

I don't coupon. Generally, coupons are on brand names, and if you've ever been to a store, you know the inhouse brand is generally cheaper than the name brand, even including the coupon. I also really don't have the time to wander from store to store inquiring as to upcoming sales.

Skip foods marketed as especially for toddlers or kids, such as toddler cookies or crackers. The markup on these products is typically 50 percent, says Bradford, while the "adult" versions are perfectly acceptable at any age.

Who the hell is buying toddler food?! We were feeding my niece kalamata olives and feta cheese at 6 months.

No college account yet? Open it now. "A 529 is one of the best plans," says Bradford. Then, if you feel comfortable, you'll be poised to ask grandparents to help fund it with a portion of their gift budget for their grandkids during the coming holidays.

With what money?

Gah! The privilege. It burns!

These Tips Will Make You a Millionaire!

When I saw the headline

Six Steps to Increase Your Odds of Becoming a Millionaire

I clicked on that right quick! Heck, I'd settle for having an extra $50, surely one of these tips would be enough for that.

1. Be patient.

Well, okay. I've waited 35 years. Can't get more patient than that.

2. Pay yourself first. Before paying any bills, you need to set money aside every month to build your wealth. It's simple math, but you'd be surprised how many people ignore it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! If I set aside money to "build my wealth", I wouldn't be able to pay my bills. So apparently, we need a tip that comes before #2, Have More Money.

3. Don't be afraid to look into foreign investments.

Well, #3 is a bust. I don't think anyone's going to invest my 25¢, foreign or otherwise. Perhaps #4 will be more useful.

4. Don't count on winning the lottery in the stock market, either.

I certainly wasn't doing that! Huh, that's odd, I'm still not a millionaire.

5. The more money you can save while you're young, the better. You want to save any way you can, even if it might mean living with mom and dad for awhile. Staying at home and doing laundry at home in your early 20s to negate the cost of rent and transportation is not bad advice as long as you have a plan how you're going to move out.

Seriously, #5 is "sponge off family even if you don't have to". Is it me, or is there something inherently wrong with taking advantage of your family in order to be a millionaire? Logically, yes, given the mathematical magic of compounding interest, the earlier you can start saving money, the better, but still, this just seems . . . a little . . . oh, I don't know . . . welfare queen to me. I guess you're not mooching as long as you "plan how" you're going to move out. Okay then.

6. Map out your financial future. List goals and realistic plans for achieving them. You can't go places you want to go without a road map.

Look, OnStar could follow me every step of the way, until I get a little more earning power, and a little relief from ever rising bills, I'm screwed. Maybe they should have covered that in a few easy to follow steps first. Step 1: don't be poor . . .

What Privilege Is (and Is Not)

pic link and h/t to Cynical Nymph for randomly sending me this

This post is a paragraphs long whinge about Black History Month and why don't I get Irish History Month blahblahblah. It's offensively tone deaf and borderline bigoted and I see a post just like it about once a month. (Quick answer: every day is White Guy Day.) So, being deeply concerned about educating the ignorant masses*, I suggested he take a quick look at Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack, the invaluable guide to white privilege.

Renaissance Guy apparently ignored my advice. Or he has terrible reading comprehension. (ETA: As it turns out, he did eventually read it, and feels that Will Smith means there is no privilege. There are none so blind as those that do not wish to see and all that.)

In response, he posted this, in which he says that being poor never made him feel privileged, and he had this one black friend who was rich, therefore no privilege, QED.

Please feel free to headdesk repeatedly.

In the interests of education**, I actually hand wrote this post last night. During the Eagles/Redskins game. (Did you see that game? Wow!) Yes, I was that annoyed concerned with education.

(For the purposes of this discussion, I am dividing the world into black people and white people. I am well aware that race is not binary, nor is privilege binary, nor is white the privileged race in every culture. However, it makes the issue significantly easier to write about, so simply assume "white" means "whatever racial group is privileged in the particular culture" and "black" means "whatever racial groups are not privileged in the particular culture.")

Let's assume RG is being honest in his second post. RG presents that he experienced poor nonprivilege, which canceled out all possible white (male, straight, cisgender, able) privilege and his black friend, Angel, experienced rich privilege, which canceled out all black and female nonprivilege . . .

Huh.

RG is being disingenuous. At best. In his case, poor nonprivilege canceled out white privilege, but in Angel's case, rich privilege canceled out black nonprivilege. You can't have it both ways, RG. Either privilege cancels out nonprivilege or nonprivilege cancels out privilege, but not both. Those two things are mutually exclusive. I don't need to explain "mutually exclusive", do I?

As always, however, the truth is more complex.

Privilege is not a guarantee. White privilege exists, but that doesn't mean every white person's life is all candy and puppydogs all the time. Nor does every person experience every type of privilege simultaneously. For example, my privilege and nonprivilege:

privilege: white, cisgender, straight

nonprivilege: poor, disabled, female

I am privileged in that I can marry whom I actually want to marry, I can use the bathroom that suits me without upsetting anyone and that whole white privilege thing sure makes life easier.

I am nonprivileged in that doors are frequently too heavy for me to open, I am always the bitch, and poverty sucks.

All at the same time. Life is complicated, get used to it.

Let's examine RG's (possibly hypothetical) "friend", Angel. We are presented with a rich, black woman. That's two nonprivileges and one privilege. (We'll ignore issues of gender, able, etc.) Let's take a few examples of white privilege from Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack and see if being rich changes anything for Angela, or if being poor changes anything for RG.

I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

I can, off the top of my head, think of four different sections of the city that I live in where this is possible. It happens every day at work for me. Also at the Dunkin Donuts, the pharmacy, the grocery store. My town isn't especially white, either. We have a higher proportion of minorities than the average city in the US.

So, more than likely, poor RG can do this, rich Angel cannot.

I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

Poor RG gets shows and movies filled with white people. Rich Angel does not. Rich Angel gets the token black guy and maybe one or two movies a year featuring a majority black cast. Poor RG gets all the rest.

When I am told about our national heritage or about “civilization,” I am shown that people of my

color made it what it is.

When I was little, I honestly thought minorities didn't arrive here until the 1960s. You know, when the Civil Rights Movement started. Things have gotten a little better, but not much. So, a win for Poor RG, a loss for Rich Angel.

I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their

race.

My (black) nephew used to start the year by flipping through his textbooks to see if there was even one black face in them. Most of the time, there wasn't even one. He's 16. White privilege wins again.

Have we had enough?

People like RG fight long and hard against the concept of privilege. For one thing, privilege is invisible if you have it. That's just the way the world is. You only see it if you don't have it. Imagine privilege as the removal of doors. To me, as a white person, there is no door. There is just an open space in the wall. I don't ever see the door that keeps the black person from entering. The same goes for any other type of privilege. RG keenly sees the rich privilege Angel enjoyed, but is, apparently, unable to see the white privilege he himself enjoys. You only see the doors closed to you, not the doors closed to others.

People like RG are also very opposed to Affirmative Action. It upsets their sense of fair play. "Those black people are getting something I am not getting, and they're getting it just for being black! That's not right!"

White privilege, any kind of privilege, ensures that you get things other people are not getting simply for being born a certain way***. Simply being white removes barriers, doors, if you will, that bar the way for black people. You cannot ignore the fact that being white entitles a person to opportunities and removes barriers and that being black removes opportunities and creates barriers.

In other words, white people, as a matter of course, get the benefit of a culture-wide affirmative action program their entire lives. Most people do not want to admit that their successes are at least partly due to the benefits of affirmative action. This does not change the facts: Every day is White Guy Day. Put your hands over your ears, close your eyes and sing LALALALA as loud as you can, it's still true.

*Not actually true.

**Or serious annoyance.

***Leaving aside the privilege of wealth for the purposes of this discussion. Not that I'm willing to cede that wealth is generally "deserved" in our form of capitalism, or that such wealth should entitle one to privileges above and beyond the common person. Another discussion for another day.

Revealing Your Own Privilege

You may not be aware of it, but every time you make a (generally unasked for) suggestion to someone, you may be privileging all over that person. Thankfully, I have made a quick guide of privilege-revealing phrases for your review.

"You can get that way cheaper if you just drive up to Walmart/the Farmer's Market/the Flea Market/the Consignment Shop and get . . . "

Wow. That would be awesome, if I had a car. You got time tomorrow to cart me all over?

"You can get that on ebay for way less."

Neato, but not everyone has internet access.

"You're buying prepaid VISA cards to buy things online? That's such a rip, just use your PayPal/debit card."

Wow. That would be awesome, if I had a bank account. Which I can't have because of things like garnishment.

"Allergies? Just buy hypoallergenic soap and laundry detergent."

Twice as expensive and hard to find.

"Just make your own bread and make lentil stew. It's healthier and cheaper."

How much time do you think I have on my hands? And that's assuming I have access to the ingredients (move into a poor neighborhood, then check out the grocery options within walking distance) and the materials needed to do such a thing.

That's the short list, btw, of the privilege spewed on the heads of the poor every day. If those things come out of your mouth, either shut up or give up your car, your job, your bank account and your good credit and come live with us. You might even learn something.

Unpacking the Christian Knapsack

If you haven't read Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh, you should. It is an amazing essay on white privilege.

I have decided to slightly edit this essay to reflect Christian privilege in the US in the wake of ZOMG!!1!! CROSSES TOTALLY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH CHRISTIANITY! outrage over the decision that 12 foot tall white crosses on the sides of the highways in Utah "would convey to a reasonable observer that the state of Utah is endorsing Christianity.” Duh.

The sheer level of HOWDAREYOU! in reaction to this incredibly obvious observation renewed, yet again, my disgust at Christian privilege, and my amazement that the average Christian in this country cannot see it.

How Christian privilege benefits Christians (in ways they don't even think of):

I can, if I wish, arrange to be in the company of people of my religion most of the time. Very easily done for the Christian, as 75% of Americans are Christians. There is no place in the US where atheists can pull this one off.

I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to

mistrust my kind or me. Evil atheists, mooslins, hindus and the like.

I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me. I would not even think of telling my neighbors I am an atheist. We have a neutral/pleasant relationship right now, I don't want to lose it.

I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my religion widely

represented. that must be neat. I get House, who is perpetually being pwned by any idiot who walks through the door. House and . . . yeah, I got nothing.

When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my

religion made it what it is. And if they weren't actually Christian, everyone pretends they were. Lookin' at you, Jefferson.

I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their

religion. No matter how public the school, American children will be taught about Christians at every turn, because those people made America great! Atheists get Neitchse. And Stalin.

I can be pretty sure that my children's teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and

workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others' attitudes toward their religion. Can you imagine being a Muslim in this country, today, and sending your children off to school? I would be terrified.

I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute

these choices to the bad morals of my religion. As an atheist, I get to be the ambassador of all atheists everywhere I go- if I out myself. Every low cut blouse would be a testament to the sluttishness of atheists. Every "fuck" and "shit" would be evidence of our dirty mouths. "I met an atheist who . . . therefore all atheists . . ." comes up a lot in Christian blogs and message boards. Keep it in mind!

I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my religion. I can also do poorly without being an example of said religion. Why do atheists do [anything]? is also a common question from Christians, as if I were some entirely different species, and when they come across an example of an atheist doing something noteworthy/praiseworthy it blows their little minds.

I am never asked to speak for all the people of my religious group, nor am I asked to apologize for other members of my religious group. See: The Slacktivist Apologizes for Baptist Extremism.

I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of religions who constitute the world's

majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion. There are 1 BILLION muslims in the world and the average American Christian can't spell Q'ran correctly. (Especially odd considering that there at least 4 different acceptable spellings of that word.)

I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without

being seen as a cultural outsider. Exactly. I am furthering the Atheist Agenda(tm), Christians are patriots!

I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person of my religion.

I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's

magazines featuring my religion. And, I don't have to buy them online so as not to out myself to everyone in the store.

I can worry about religious discrimination without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.

I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether

a person of my religion would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do. I can never be President of this country. In fact, politics are out altogether. I can vote, but forget actually engaging the system that rules me in any other, substantive way.

I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my

religion. I can lie and lie and lie about who I really am. It's fun.

I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race. If you're Christian, you can find entire colleges, book stores, music stores, etc. devoted to you.

I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my religion. Any time somebody sneezes, I am immediately reminded exactly whose culture rules my brain.

I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social. I don't belong and I am finding it harder and harder to ignore that fact. I can hide, I can't imagine what this feels like for people who can't.

Yes, the poor persecuted Christian. Weep for all the privilege you have. It must be hard.

Religious Freedom v. Religious Privilege

This whole National Day of Prayer thing is generating some very amusing whining from the usual suspects.

The National Day of Prayer has a rich history and heritage. How sad it is in our politically correct age that we are no longer spiritually tolerant. The controversy generated by the Pentagon’s disinviting Franklin Graham and the entire National Day of Prayer Task Force is both un-American and unnecessary. Graham has expressed his opinion on the danger of embracing the teaching of Islam concerning jihad and the death of infidels. Not once has he or anyone on the National Day of Prayer Task Force suggested that Muslims be excluded from First Amendment protections against the prohibiting of the exercise of their religion.

The same First Amendment to the Constitution which prohibits Congress from making any law that establishes a particular religion or prohibits the free exercise thereof also protects Franklin Graham’s right of free speech to express his opinion about Islamic fundamentalism.

First of all, lots of things have "rich history and heritage" in the United States, including slavery.

More central to this post is that whether or not we have a mandated day of prayer is irrelevant to religious freedom. You have, just as you did before, the right to worship anything you want, including Yhwh, Jesus, Al'lah, Odin, Dionysus and my socks. You also have, just as you did before, the right to pray any time you want. No one can stop you.

What this guy is feeling the loss of isn't the right to pray, it is the privilege of having a Day just for people who pray. It's totally unnecessary, it's exclusionary to people who don't pray, and a secular government has no business getting involved in religion and prayer. No one has stripped anyone of religious freedom, what has been removed is a tiny portion of religion privilege. Seriously, cry me a river.

As for Franklin Graham, he is indeed allowed to state any opinion he wants, including something derogatory towards Muslims. The First Amendment does indeed grant one that right, however, the First Amendment does not protect one from the consequences of one's speech. If I walk up to my (Jewish) boss and start saying extremely derogatory things about Jews, I certainly have the right to do so, and he has a right to fire my ass for doing so. Mr. Graham has the right to say whatever he wants, and the Pentagon has the right to make sure he doesn't say it with their support.