I Should Click on worm.exe_racist, Right?

This actually made me LOL. Thanks, [redacted].

I Don't Need Drugs

I've found sea otters!

Multiculturalism Does Not Mean Irish AND Italian

[h/t to redacted]

Brief history lesson: the Pledge of Allegiance was written in 1892 by a minister named Francis Bellamy. The original Pledge was:

I pledge allegiance to my Flag and to the Republic for which it stands, one
nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Notice what's missing? That's right, "under god".

The "under god" wasn't added until 1954 at the height of the Red Scare. Those two words have far more to do with communism, McCarthyism and the Cold War than with religious belief. However, those two words do exclude an alarming number of US citizens, namely atheists/agnostics, Hindus, pagans, etc. I love my country. I want to do everything I can to make my country a better place for everyone. I educate myself, I vote, I sign petitions, I write to my congressman, and yet I cannot pledge my loyalty because the Pledge is clearly not for me.

Clearly, the managing editor of the Manteca Bulletin never even stopped to consider that there are Americans who are not Christian, let alone pagan or atheist.

Obviously, those who inserted “under God” into the pledge where referencing
a Judeo-Christian God. But given how it hasn’t been used to hammer any one into
submission to a particular religion is proof positive that it is a pledge and
not religious indoctrination.

The fact that even religious groups that are “God-based”, if you will,
disagree greatly on a lot of aspects of Christianity lends additional credence
to the argument it is not religious indoctrination.

Um, dude, there are a quite a few Americans not involved in internecine christian doctrinal battles- because they are not christian. In fact, approximately 0.4% of Americans are Hindu and believe in many gods, not one. Almost 1.6% are atheist and don't believe in anything at all. We are clearly not "under god", are we still Americans?

I say we return the Pledge to its original wording, as Minister Bellamy wrote it. We don't have to acknowledge a god we don't believe in, and leave millions of Americans out in the cold, to express allegiance to our country.

Damaged Goods

[Note: click the link if you want to confirm that I am not making this up, but if you comment on this girl's post, please be positive and not confrontational.]

The back story on this is that a 16-year-old fundamentalist girl married an 18-year-old she barely knew and hadn't even been in the same room with alone before. Unsurprisingly, things turned bad very quickly.

As soon as 2 days after the wedding, Jon was a different person. He was
quiet, mopey, irritable. I was confused. Why would he be like this only 2 days
after our wedding? He was verbally abusive, putting down everything that I did.
Nothing I did pleased him. No matter how hard I tried, nothing was good enough.
Soon enough, the verbal abuse turned into physical abuse. I will spare you of
most of the details of that- he was pinning me to walls and floors, even going
so far as to head to the closet for a gun.

. . . .

I held it all inside. I told everyone that we were doing wonderfully. But
mom knew that something was wrong. She would ask if I was ok, and I would assure
her that everything was fine. I would always come up with one excuse or
another.
Eventually, I couldn't take it any more. I told mom. Everything. She
was very concerned and upset, and advised me to talk to the church elders so
that Jon could get help. A meeting was arranged.

This man is threatening his teenage wife with a gun so the answer is to meet with church officials? I can't tell you how much fundys piss me the fuck off sometimes. If you are being abused, you need to leave. If your loved one is being abused, you need to help them leave, as quickly as possible. A meeting with the church elders isn't going to fix anything, but the time spent waiting for the meeting could mean injury or death for the victim.

Some people told me that I wasn't even abused. That they treated
their own wives this way. The first year of marriage is hard for everyone- every
couple goes through this exact same thing. There are so many problems in the
world- did I really think I had something to complain about?

Be a good little fundy wife and submit, submit, submit until I stop hitting you. You know how I know Jesus isn't coming back? Because he hasn't come back yet to put a stop to the horrors carried out in his name. Also, somebody used the starving kids in Africa argument as a reason to suffer abuse? What is wrong with people?!

He has since admitted to the church session that he lied about his virginity.
Finding this out was just as hard as the abuse. To have trusted someone so
completely, and then to find that nothing about them was as you thought, is
heartbreaking.
Deuteronomy 22 states this as a reason for a biblical
divorce. Matthew 1:19 also states that Joseph was a just man and was going to
divorce Mary. Our church session agrees with this. The church has given me
grounds for a biblical divorce. Everything was finalized 2 weeks ago.

So, threatening your wife with a gun is not a reason for divorce, but lying about being a virgin is. Well, good to know what's important in life.

A few people have made the comment that I am now, "damaged goods." I do not feel
this way at all. I do not feel impure. I did nothing wrong. I was married- if,
down the road, I get married again, a good, godly man will see no wrong in what
I did.

Sweetie, there is no such thing as human damaged goods. You are not damaged goods. You are a human being as deserving of love and respect as any other human being. You married the wrong person (hardly surprising considering that you were 16 and hardly knew the man), you suffered horribly and now it is over. Experiences, good and bad, make us who we are, and that is never damaged goods. If you had prostituted yourself for drugs, you still wouldn't be any less worthy of love and respect.

Please, just give yourself a hug for me.

I hate religion for things like this. A girl- not a woman, a girl- suffered terrible abuse, abuse that was helped along and supported by religion, and now that she is out of that situation, she is made to feel bad for saving her own life. Because escaping abuse makes baby Jesus cry.

Ugh.

Now I'm Scared of My Pharmacist

Writing this post made me feel naked and frightened in a way no other post has. I can discuss my breasts and vagina with no problem at all, but this I almost deleted 6 times. Maybe I should have, but I know there are others out there experiencing the same thing and we need a voice. And you need to listen to it.

I am a pain patient. I have chronic pain. Pain has consumed my life, changed me, destroyed the person I used to be. The pain is why I don't believe in hell. I wouldn't wish the last 8 years of pain on Hitler, let alone some random guy who didn't believe the right way. And that's 8 years, not eternity. Think about that for a second. I wouldn't wish this on the worst person that ever existed, but I have to live with it every second of every day.

For this pain, I take medication. Yes, it's narcotics. I'd prefer it not be narcotics, but if you're in serious pain, that's it, the pain or the narcotics. Actually, it's the pain and the narcotics, but I can live with pain at or below a 6 on the (stupidestfuckingthingever) pain scale*, so I'll take what I can get. I don't get high from the medication. That's how narcotics work. If you're getting some kind of euphoria from them, you're taking too much for the pain you're in.

I hate filling my prescription every month. I feel like the pharmacist thinks I'm addict. As it turns out, I'm probably right. This knowledge has entirely ruined my day.

A pharmacy without crackheads would be like a Big-Mac without the secret
sauce. The two go hand-in-hand like fat-chicks and spandex.

. . .

Becoming a successful “crackhead” and inflicting sadist pain upon your
pharmacist is not an easy task. However with these short yet useful tips
you shall have your pharmacist begging you to never return.

Think of a month as not 30 days, but a random number of days between 10 and
25. Most medications will have warnings that say that it must last one
month. However if YOUR month is only 13 days, it means that obviously you
can take more than what is prescribed on the bottle. This is YOUR
medication after all, so it gets to play by YOUR rules and thereby YOUR month.

Yeah? How about all the times I have gotten home and counted my pills only to find the prescription is short? Don't bother calling the pharmacy, they'll just say you can't prove it's them. Oh, and if you insist on counting the pills at the counter before leaving, they will freak.

Don't get me started on months that are 31 days long. Don't know what I mean? You obviously don't take pain medication. Suppose I fill my 30 day prescription on April 16. Now, April has 30 days, so I'm due for a refill May 16. Suppose I fill my 30 day prescription March 16. March has 31 days, so I'm due for a refill April 15, not April 16. Try explaining that to idiot pharmacy tech no. 1,351.

Generally, I refill my prescriptions 2 days in advance, although I don't pick it up until the day it is due. Why? Harrowing experience. If I wait until the day of, or the day before, and the pharmacy is out, I'm fucked. I'll have to go a day or two, or seven the one time, without medication, and if I could do that, I wouldn't be taking them in the first place. No pharmacist would freak out on me for transferring a prescription for insulin in that situation, but pain meds? I'm a drug seeking crackhead.

Don’t use proper terminology or pronunciation when referring to your
drugs. Everyone says “Soma” or “Vicodin”, but having you refer to your
medication as “SOMAS”, “VICO-DANS”, “DAN SOMAS”, or “WATSONS 389″ makes you
really stand out in the pharmacists eyes. Nothing says “I know my pain
pills” than reciting the NDC number on that bottle of Watson vicodin.

I've been taking these pills for a while now. I do have the number on the pills memorized- because I'm observant. I don't refer to them by common name on the phone, I refer to them by actual name of the substance so that people around me don't know what I'm talking about. I don't want them to know.

Develop some good stories. “My medication was lost or stolen” is so
1990’s. You need to think of some good stories to feed to your doctor and
pharmacist so they will feel sad for you. It helps if you learn to sob on
command, or come into the pharmacy loaded so they can really see how much pain
you are truly in.

Have a black cloud of bad luck encompass you always. Be the
unluckiest person on the planet. Have anything and everything happen to
your pain-pills (but not your high blood pressure pills!). Martians came
and a meteor hit your vicodin bottle! Go for the gusto! If you’re
loaded while you mumble this story it makes it more realistic (at least to you)
thereby making you tell it better! Remember, YOUR story plays by YOUR
rules, and YOUR pain-pills make YOUR rules!

Hello, moron, when people steal pills, they don't steal acid reflux medication, they steal the fun stuff. I have had pills stolen from me, once by a family member (because I don't really need them!), once by a (former) friend, once I suspect one of the many temps that pass through the office. I have since learned to keep one day's worth in my purse, not in a prescription bottle, and I hide the prescription in odd places in my bedroom. I never told the pharmacist, I just suffered until the refill was due, but yeah, it happens.

Only chumps get all 90 Soma at one time. Split that Rx up! Even
though you have $5 in your pocket, it should get you at least 3 of the 90 soma
you are allowed every month. Dont worry about such trivial things such as
money management, saving for the whole 90, or the added work your pharmacist
goes through. Remember, YOUR money plays by YOUR rules and YOUR shitty 4
tablet partial fills make YOUR rules!

Yeah, why should poor people be allowed to get their medication as they can afford it? My mom used to do this after my father left her high and dry with no health insurance and a heart condition, and a daughter with severe asthma. Not everyone makes $80,000 a year for counting things, asshat.

PAY CASH! Only chumps use insurance for their pain-pills!

40,000,000 uninsured people in the US, and this asshole is surprised he's run into a few of them?

Money management? Throw all that shit out the window. You need to piss
away your welfare check like its burning a hole in your pocket. In fact,
you have to be so bad that you have to prepay for your soma that’s due TOMORROW
or you’ll spend that $30 on something else.

I work, but yeah, I've done that. You know why poor people do that? Because poor people always need something that they've been putting off forever. So, if I have $30 in my pocket, it could end up going for something else that is desperately needed. If I've already spent the $30 on my prescription, I can't spend it on something else. Thanks for privileging all over me.

Avoid chains! Their computers are all linked up via magic so they know
how much other stores have given you! Go for the mom-and-pop shops!

Yeah, the fact that my local chain has shorted me numerous times, but the mom-and-pop has never done so has nothing to do with my choice of establishment.

Become an active part in your treatment, call the pharmacy every 10 mins to
see if the doctor OK’d the early refills. Nothing says “I take my life
seriously” than being on top of your medication refill requests. It
doesn’t matter if you don’t remember calling 10 mins ago because you were
loaded, YOU ARE TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR TREAT-.. what was I saying again? Oh,
TREATMENT!

Fax machines can break, make sure you call the doctors every 10 mins to
see if they received your early fill request from the pharmacy. Doctors
LOVE patients who are active in their treatment. Remember, YOUR name is on
your early-refill call-tag so it plays by YOUR rules!

Every month, I have to call my doctor and request the refill be faxed to the pharmacy. About 8 months of the year, this works just fine. I call at 9am, and the pharmacy has it by 6pm. Some months, the pharmacy doesn't get the fax the first time. Or the second. Sometimes not the third. I have to call multiple times to fix this because nobody else will. Asshat. Maybe I'm supposed to psychically guess whether or not the refill has finally made it to the pharmacist.

Catch fibromyalgia! That shit is the golden ticket to Watson-Wonka’s
Narcotic Factory! If you catch fibromyalgia you can get ANYTHING!
Plus pharmacists and other health care people LOVE IT when you talk about how
bad your fibromyalgia is.

FUCK YOU. Seriously, FUCK YOU.

Take up acting! Don’t limit yourself to the “OH JESUS IM IN SO MUCH PAIN”
once you hit the pharmacy doors, but also practice it as you walk through the
parking lot. Nothing says that you’re in “OH SWEET JESUS” pain like
stumbling and shuffling about in the parking lot AND in the pharmacy. If
you cannot sustain the act for long enough, make sure the sneaky pharmacy
doesn’t have cameras outside to record you acting normal only to be hit by the
“OH JESUS PAIN” stick once you cross into the store.

Wait a minute, this customer is limping the entire time the pharmacist can see him, but obviously that's because he's faking it? How much of an asshole can one person be?!

This is going to make my next trip to the pharmacy so much fun.



*Another post for another day, but trying to quantify the intensely subjective experience of full body chronic pain on a 1-10 scale is about the stupidest thing I've ever been involved in.

What the Entire World Needs

I think the entire world needs a kitty, and before we say or do hurtful things, to ourselves or others, we should be required to pet that kitty's soft, soft belly.

Hmmm. I may have just figured out how the Dalai Lama keeps his cool.

It Is Unecessary to Pornify a Phallic Symbol

The pornification of guns is a thing peculiar to American culture. We love our guns. LUH our guns. Which is made abundantly clear in this post at The Audacity of Logic. (Unintentional irony fail.)

In California yesterday, a seven-year-old had to take on the duties of an adult
by protecting his family from a home invasion. In Norwalk, Calif., the terrified
boy begged emergency dispatchers to send police to his Southern California home
where three armed men threatened his parents, according to a recording of the
call released Tuesday.

Here's how a home invasion works: the invaders burst through your door, guns drawn, pointed in your general direction and terror ensues. Home invasion is a blitz attack, no one gives you a chance to find your weapon. And you should have to find your weapon if you own one in the same home as a small child, because 3,184 children and teens died from gunfire in the US in 2006. More preschoolers were killed by guns than officers in the line of duty. If you're not locking up your guns, you are exposing your children to avoidable danger.

It would probably be a safe bet that this father neither owned a firearm
nor probably believed he should. He probably has house insurance, health
insurance, flood insurance, car insurance, but no way to ensure the lives of his
family from marauding scum who almost certainly would have robbed, raped and
possibly murdered his family, had it not been for his young son’s heroic
actions.

. . .

It may sound harsh, but I am of the belief that any parent who refuses to
take the necessary precautions to protect his family from such harm, borders on
criminal neglect.

No, it doesn't sound harsh, it sounds stupid. Unless the father had a gun strapped to his hip, there is no chance simply having a gun in the house would have protected his family from a home invasion. He would not have had the chance to get to his gun before the armed criminals invading his home had him tied up.

Let's suppose the father in question doesn't care that much about his children and does keep his gun within easy reach at all times. Imagine the scene that would have followed. Three armed men who we can safely say have no issues with pulling the trigger burst into his home, guns pointed at the family, maybe the wife, maybe the children, maybe him. The father grabs his gun and does what? More than likely, he'd freeze because most people just aren't prepared for killing another human being no matter what the situation. Let's suppose, for the same of Audacity's argument, that the father was a trained soldier and didn't freeze. Then what happens? He shoots, which sets off the armed criminals, and more than just criminals get shot. I suppose you could call that "protecting your family", but only in the sense that if you blow up someone's car, they can't then get hit by a train.

I get why people like Audacity say ridiculous shit like this. It's scary to consider that you could be the victim of such a crime. There is comfort in saying, "I have a gun. I won't be a victim." Unfortunately, life just isn't that simple. Owning a gun won't keep you safe, but it could endanger your children.