Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Solstice Celebrating Freaks (War on Christmas Part Three)

christianity, christmas, solstice, kwanzaa, stupid, asshat

I would like to start by saying that anyone whose blog looks like this doesn't get to use the word "freak" to describe anyone else.

There is so much wrong with blackandgoldfan's* rant about Gap's latest Christmas commercial that it's a little hard to know where to start, and frankly, I'm still a little distracted by the look of the blog.

I was watching t.v. the other night when a Gap commercial came on. At first, I found myself grooving along with the hip-hop beat of "Go Christmas...go Christmas..." Then I hear "Go Hanukkah..." Not an issue. The two holidays do overlap, and Hanukkah has a legitimate basis in religion. It was when I heard "Go Kwanzaa" and "Go solstice" that I got my panties in a twist.

So your precious Christmas gets a nod and all is good. The Jews get a shoutout and we're still okay. Kwanzaa and solstice gave you a wedgie. Why? It's not enough that Christmas is celebrated, we have to stop celebrating other holidays? Since you're going to bring up the Establishment Clause, I'd like you to point out exactly where it says "Christmas good, Kwanzaa and solstice offensive".

Can anyone tell me where the hell the idea of Kwanzaa came from??? When I was growing up, black children celebrated Christmas side by side with white children. Who was it that decided to separate the blacks from the whites by inventing a holiday? That seems pretty racist, don't ya think? I mean, what was so wrong with people of all color celebrating the birth of our Savior (and I don't mean BHO)? It was a common bond that has since been broken in the name of black separatism.

It's called google. Use it. Kwanzaa has its very own website. Kwanzaa has nothing to do with black separatism, whatever that is. Kwanzaa is not, contrary to wingnut opinion, a new holiday. It has roots stretching back to ancient Egypt. That's right, before Christmas. Asshat.

Not to leave out the atheists, the idea of celebrating the winter solstice has become popular in recent years. What is there to celebrate about the one day that heralds in nasty weather until March? I, for one, despise the winter solstice in large part because I know it means bone-chilling temperatures and dangerous driving conditions. And these freaks want to celebrate this crap?

I don't actually know any atheists who celebrate solstice. Solstice celebration is a pagan thing, again stretching back before Christianity. In fact, Christianity stole Christmas from the pagans. Spleenweasel. If anyone has a right to complain about the whole winter holiday thing, it's the pagans. They have a right to complain about you. Asshatting spleenweasel. And just because you don't like winter, doesn't mean nobody does. Enjoying winter does not make one a freak. Oh, and that term has a long, ignominious history, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't use it anymore.

*Pittsburgh Steeler's fan, for my nonAmerican readers, or those who don't follow American football.


  1. Well i know several atheist groups that celebrate solstice as just another reason to hang out and drink. Although it is not really celebrating the solstice per se.

  2. Yeah, Teh Hubby and I and a few like-minded friends do that, but we're not celebrating solstice. It's just an excuse to hang out and stuff our faces.

  3. I love this post. Keep up the good work.

  4. I personally love Christmas, presents, burboun and nog, Rum Cake, cooking goose with my daughter, it is a great holiday. I know many atheists who celebrate Christmas. All of the solstice celebrators I know are some sort of theist.

    However atheists can celebrate whatever we like. Christmas, Kwaanza, Solstice, Saturnalia(which I think really should make a comeback), Festivus(I know a guy who puts up a Festivus pole at Christmastime and at his house they do the airing of greivances and feats of strength. Just as joke but still..)

    The difference is that atheists don't believe in any of the magic stuff that goes with it.(except Santa Claus cuz Duh! He is real.

    Anyway I ramble but it cheeses me off that Christians think they own the rights to all winter merriment.

  5. I'm still very much behind [redacted]'s idea to start a Facebook group called "Send Solstice Cards to the White House! Remember the Reason for the Seasons!" to rival that "Send Christmas Cards..." crap. I mean, if we're going strictly on a timeline...

    Of course, the Native Americans were here long before Europeans landed, but we don't seem to go by timeline in terms of property ownership...

  6. that blogger asked Uzza "what are you celebrating on Winter Solstice, then?" and i answered.
    a lot.

    the first time i heard about Christmas, in preschool, i was so offended - that's not what it means! [except, it is - birth of God is birth of God; but my religion is inclusive and theirs is exclusive. le sigh]

    thanks for sticking up for us pagans, though :)

  7. My new favorite word: spleenweasel. I needed a good laugh.

  8. While Kwanzaa has aspects that come from older elements Kwanzaa itself is an unambiguously modern holiday made by Ron Karenga in the mid 1960s.

    But if we're on the topic of holiday origins, Chanuka is almost as blatantly stolen from pagans as some sort of winter solstice thing at least in the modern form. The texts in the apocrypha which discuss the holiday give the reasoning that it was started as a late celebration of Succot by the Maccabees who didn't have the opportunity to do so at the proper time during their rebellion. The entire miracle with the oil and such isn't mentioned in any near contemporaneous source and doesn't seem to have been added in centuries later as what looks pretty blatantly as a post hoc attempt to cover up the pagan rituals underlying the lighting of the menorah.

    Also on topic: There's a Twilight Zone episode where Rod Serling refers to "this gift-giving holiday season" or a phrase very close to that. Should we conclude that the War on Christmas has been going on for about fifty years and it is simply now that the good, God-fearing Christians have realized the threat? I hope not. That means we have to have had one of the most incompetently directed wars ever. Easily rival the conduct of recent wars by the US government.

  9. I don't think there is a war. It looks more like that typical US trend to get new things and new pictures to make new ads and new thingies always, everywhere, for all things.

    By the way, there is a flaw in your user filtering system.
    I have to click on a "profile".That would be "wordpress". But if I do that, your system includes the term "Wordpress" in my URL and then declares that URL invalid.....
    Let's see if I can send this in as "Anonymous". Otherwise it would be cantueso at wordpress


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