It Gets Purple and It Gets Better

Here's me being purple, because I do stand up for the treatment of GLBT persons as, well, people. I don't think anyone should be bullied, I don't think anyone should be discriminated against and I don't think anyone should be made to feel so desperate and hopeless that they believe death to be the only solution.

I'm not gay, but I have been bullied. Relentlessly. Mercilessly. My entire childhood sucked up into the despair and pain of being bullied.

If you are being bullied, I have been where you are. If you think life will never get better, I've thought that, too. If you think that suicide might be the only way out, well, been there, got the scars on my wrists to prove it.



That was an attempt at a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Thing is, I'm still here. I'm here because it gets better. So much better you'll have a hard time believing me.

I found love. I found friends who accept me exactly as I am. I cosplay at Starbucks on a Tuesday and I don't care who laughs at me, because I'm having fun. I laugh all the time now. I'm poor and chronically ill and partially disabled- and life is good.






Thing is, high school is bullshit. If high school were the best years of your life, you have a very sad life. High school isn't life. High school is a pressure cooker of crazy. The only good thing is high school ends. And then? You're free to go. You're free to move somewhere else, to never see bullies again, to find people who love you.


And you will. Find people who love you, that is. I know this seems impossible, in the tiny little world that is high school, but the world is a big place. There are over 6,000,000,000 people on this planet and trust me, at least a few of them will get you immediately. At least a few will think you're the coolest, awesomemest, bestest person they've ever met. I know, it seems impossible now, but it will happen. I swear to you, it will get better.

I never think of the bullies anymore, unless I'm reading or writing about bullying. I don't worry what people think of me anymore. So what? Yeah, I wear a Jaegermonster sigil every day, at work, to the store, where ever. You think that's weird? Too bad, it makes me happy. That's how good life gets, I don't have to care what anyone thinks, I have friends who think it's awesome that I'm weird. I get to go home and hang out with people who love me. Bullies? After high school, they don't matter.

So hang in there. It gets better. If you are thinking of suicide, please call 1-800-273 TALK. Right now. If you need encouragement, there are thousands of videos from people who have been in your shoes, and all of their lives are better. If you need me to write you a hundred more essays on how much better it gets, I'll do that, too. Just ask. I don't know you, but I do care. Please, stay alive. It gets better.

Wear Purple on Wednesday

These children deserved better. Let's give it to the others who remain.

This Wednesday, please wear purple in support of the 6 LGBT teens who committed suicide in recent weeks. (Yes, this is real, not a Facebook meme.)

It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay youth who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools.


Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit.


Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.RIP Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase and Billy Lucas. You are loved.


Join this event and invite everyone. Don’t let their deaths be for nothing. Let it mean something, and let’s do something to change this country for once.

Hey, it's a pretty colour and you'll be taking a stand. What could be better?

Guns Don't Kill People . . .

[another h/t to [redacted] who probably needs a good dose of prozac by now]

Remember our friends with the hate filled hearts? Well, now that antigay bullying is in the news again, tragically because of the suicide of a gay teen, they've decided that guns don't kill people*, gays kill themselves. And their hate filled hearts have nothing to do with it.

names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the hateful. (actually, i have no idea what the rule is with FB postings and privacy, so i'm covering my own ass.)

Dexter Peters Protect Marriage: One Man, One Woman:

SHOCK: Gay Texas 13-Year-Old Asher Brown Shoots Himself In The Head After Horrific School Torment /.

www.queerty.com

There is no good news in this story. None. It's sad, and it's endemic of the nightmares today's LGBT youth continue to face every. single. day. [another redacted],

6 hours ago · Share

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[i have approached nazi levels of hate] Yes, it is terrible....for so many young to misunderstand their lives and be so confused as to embrace a life that leads them to these ends is horrible...children like these need all of the help that we can get for them (and don't give malarky about bullying, these kids are depressed without ever being bullied)...they need real love, caring, and concern...as well as a lot of help with their misunderstandings on sex and what is natural.

2 hours ago

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[i'm an evil little man who deserves mockery] ‎"Brown, his family said, was "bullied to death" — picked on for his small size, his religion and because he did not wear designer clothes and shoes." ....I agree with the idiot - NOM's support of designer shoes must end !!!

about an hour ago

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[i am a reasonable person] If the schools don't start addressing the bullying issue and take a stand against bullies and their co-defendent parents there will be more and more suicides among young people. I was picked on my whole 12 years of school for being fat, believe me I know the scars it leaves behind.

about an hour ago

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[i deserve terrible things]

exactly, beth. i was picked on just because i was somewhat smaller than the bullies of the school. i got beaten up, teased, tormented ... you name it.

did i use it as an excuse to end my life? no. now ... that is not to belittle the loss of... the brown family. i don't know asher's mental state, and i guess none of us ever really will. i completely agree with the "co-defendant" idea. if the kids are being bullies at school, the parents shoulder some, if not a lot, of the responsibility, if it can be shown that they're not doing something to alter the bully's path.See More

45 minutes ago

Nothing touches these people, does it? They look at the suffering they help cause and see only another chance to hate. I would say we are doomed, but I look back at history and see times where blacks were regarded as animals, when the Final Solution wasn't viewed as such a bad thing and then I look around today and think, "there is hope, but I doubt I'll live to see it." Well, if not me, perhaps my niece. Perhaps her children.

So we have to keep trying. And never forget about Asher. Ever.

*I despise the argument that guns don't kill people, people kill people. Sure, guns don't leap out of their holsters and fire themselves, but guns make it very easy to kill. If every killer had to kill with their bare hands, there would be a lot less murder in this world. You'd really have to want it and be physically capable of it.

Guest Posting: Debunking UFI's Sexual Orientation Guide

suicide, homophobia, homosexual, ufi, tradition, traditional, gay, marriage, prop 8, asshat, apa style, sandfort
Today we have a post from [redacted], who has kindly offered to debunk UFI's Sexual Orientation Guide for us. Trust me, this is fun.

[redacted]:

Okay, I'm only on the very first "point" in the UFI document, and I'm having major issues (gasp. shock.)

First of all, if you can't be bothered to properly spell the researcher's last name, I'm going to question the integrity of your research from GO. It's called "attention to detail" and IT FUCKING MATTERS. If you can't pay attention to small details, I'm going to deduce that you may not grasp more complex ones, asshat.

Okay, starting with number 1, which UFI cites as:

(Studyof 5,998 Dutch adults) Theo G.M. Sandforte et al., "Same-Sex Sexual Behavior and Psychiatric Disorders: Findings from the NetherlandsMental Health Survey and Incidence," Archives of General Psychiatry58, 10 (2001): 85-91.

Counterpoint 1 -- Sandfort. No e, asshats.

Counterpoint 2 -- Now, I'll give them the "et al" (even though there are only 3 other names, and it's not been cited previously in the paper [since we're on point one here] and also since there's not a compiled source of references at the end, which means this is NOT a proper APA style citation, but fine, whatever, benefit of doubt and not nitpicking, right?) Okay, so. The et al we're letting slide.

Next up....the volume number. Um, volume 10 of this journal in 2001 does not contain pages 85-91. Volume 1 does. So...typo, but again - attention to detail. I'm starting to wonder if they even want people to be able to find this study... I'm guessing NOT, since...

Counterpoint 3 -- Alvin and Pam at Pam's House Blend already wrote this up better than I could, so here. The gist of it is, this study doesn't say what these people want to say it says (shock. awe. gasp. NOT.) Honestly, people, it's bad enough you distorted the findings, but the researcher himself has said to STOP IT. Please...listen to Dr. Sandfort.

"There is a difference between the U.S. and the Netherlands in terms of acceptance of homosexuality. That does not mean that there is no homophobia (and homophobic damage) in the Netherlands. It is not clear how difference in climate affects the prevalence of mental disorders. We don't know the final answers, but in the U.S. as well as the Netherlands, homophobia is related to mental health problems.

He also said that Griggs and others who use the study to claim that homophobia does not have an effect on negative lgbt behavior are clearly distorting his work:"They use data to promote their moral convictions without truly understanding what the issues are. They are not interested in understanding how people's lives are affected by their social environment."

Okay, their second point. They cite two studies. Their 2A is

R. Herrell et al., "A Co-twin Control Study in Adult Men," Archives of General Psychiatry 56, 10 (1999): 867-874. **NOTE: The proper title of the study (really, do they not want people to be able to find these?) is:
Sexual orientation and suicidality: a co-twin control study in adult men

Also, can we just stop with naming only one author? If this is the only citation you're going to provide, and it's not in the context of a paragraph, you do NOT get to just say "Herrell et al." Proper APA citation requires you to list ALL of the researchers. Fuckwads. Oops, sorry.

Okay, so. They use this citation to support the following statement:

A co-twin study found that men with same-sexpartners were 6.5 times as likely as their cotwinto have attempted suicide. The higher rate was not explained by mental health or substance abuse disorders.

Well that sounds sort of bleak. Of course, it ignores the fact that just because gay marriage is legal in the Netherlands doesn't mean gay people don't face prejudice or discrimination or censure; it just means it's not legally permissible that the discrimination is institutionalized. Additionally, although it's technically correct, they conveniently left off the researchers' own results and conclusion, which according to the PubMed abstract , can be stated as

:RESULTS: Same-gender sexual orientation is significantly associated with each of the suicidality measures. Unadjusted matched-pair odds ratios follow: 2.4 (95% confidence interval [CI], 1.2 - 4.6) for thoughts about death; 4.4 (95% CI, 1.7 - 11.6) for wanted to die; 4.1 (95% CI, 2.1 - 8.2) for suicidal ideation; 6.5 (95% CI, 1.5 - 28.8) for attempted suicide; and 5.1 (95% CI, 2.4 - 10.9) for any of the suicidal symptoms. After adjustment for substance abuse and depressive symptoms (other than suicidality), all of the suicidality measures remain significantly associated with same-gender sexual orientation except for wanting to die (odds ratio, 2.5 [95% CI, 0.7 - 8.81). CONCLUSIONS: The substantially increased lifetime risk of suicidal behaviors in homosexual men is unlikely to be due solely to substance abuse or other psychiatric comorbidity. While the underlying causes of the suicidal behaviors remain unclear, future research needs to address the inadequacies in the measurement of both sexual orientation and suicidality in population-based samples.

All right, that's a little confusing if you haven't taken stats or research design. Basically, they found strong association with gay men who, outside of those who were substance abusers and/or determined to be depressed, who measured higher than their twins in "suicidality measures." I'm still not sure why UFI thinks that people need to avoid being gay in order to avoid being suicidal. First, it ignores the fact that this study doesn't include any gay women. Second, it confuses correlation with causality. Straight men/boys commit suicide, too, and frankly, any number of suicides is too high (oddly, a not-insignificant number of them do it as murder-suicide and take other people with them. Including their children. Just to keep their ex-wives from thinking they can divorce them without "paying" for it.) (If that didn't make sense to you, please see: this article

So sure, being gay in the Netherlands is associated with higher risks of suicidal tendencies. Probably we want to address this risk. Perhaps we might want to see if anti-gay attitudes contributed to this? (Oh, no, wait, that wouldn't do AT ALL.) Regardless, I think another thing ignored by UFI here is the researchers' own conclusion where it says that "While the underlying causes of the suicidal behaviors remain unclear, future research needs to address the inadequacies in the measurement of both sexual orientation and suicidality in population-based samples." It's pretty clear here that: number one, correlation does not equal causation, and number two, the ways that sexual orientation and suicidality were measured in the study are problematic. I guess if this study saw correlations between happiness and orientation, UFI might ignore it as inconclusive. Le sigh.

All right, on to 2B. Which UFI cites as:

Ping Qin, Esben Agerbo, and Preben Bo Mortensen, "Suicide Risk inRelation to Socioeconomic, Demographic, Psychiatric, and FamilialFactors: A National Register-Based Study of All Suicides in Denmark,1981-1997." American Journal of Psychiatry 160 (2003): 765-772.

Well yeaaaa, we seem to have learned to include all of the researchers names! However, since all of the issues in 2003 are volume 160, an issue number of month would be really helpful here. Oh, look, I found it. APRIL 2003. Now, what point are they making here? Oh, yes: Researchers found "an elevated suicide risk for homosexuals" even in tolerant Denmark.

Okay, once again, I think we're confusing "tolerant Denmark" with "no one ever picks on gay people." But fine, whatever, let's see what the FULL STUDY has to say about sexual orientation, and if the researchers mention anything else about this that might have been left out (please. At this point, even though we're only on point 2B, I'd be stupid not to be skeptical of omissions on the part of UFI.)

Why, look. I seem to have found something interesting in the full text of just the ABSTRACT (I'll italicize it to make it stand out)

:RESULTS: Of the risk factors examined in the study, a history of hospitalization for psychiatric disorder was associated with the highest odds ratio and the highest attributable risk for suicide. Cohabiting or single marital status, unemployment, low income, retirement, disability, sickness-related absence from work, and a family history of suicide and/or psychiatric disorders were also significant risk factors for suicide. Moreover, these factors had different effects in male and female subjects. A psychiatric disorder was more likely to increase suicide risk in female than in male subjects. Being single was associated with higher suicide risk in male subjects, and having a young child with lower suicide risk in female subjects. Unemployment and low income had stronger effects on suicide in male subjects. Living in an urban area was associated with higher suicide risk in female subjects and a lower risk in male subjects. A family history of suicide raised suicide risk slightly more in female than in male subjects.

Hmmm. So it appears that in this review of all Danish suicides from 1981 - 1997, the biggest risk factor was history of hospitalization, not sexual orientation. As a matter of fact, since it was only in 1994 that Danish gay couples could cohabit as registered "couples" with marital benefits, any gay suicides before 1994 would have been counted as "single." After 1994, they count as "cohabiting." Let's see what the researchers have to say about this. Oh, look, I found the quote UFI mined for their point in 2B: Registered partners (i.e., homosexual couples living under the same legal status as a married couple) could be distinguished from single persons only from 1994 onward. Okay, so they might have skewed the "single" stats if they committed suicide before 1994, and would be under-represented in the "married" stats, since the researchers didn't cut off the findings at pre-and post-1994. I'm sure they address this. Let's see.

Oh, look, I found the quote that UFI mined for their point in 2B:

As for family structure, previous studies have reported that single people are more likely to commit suicide (2, 3), but our study further shows a significantly higher risk of suicide for cohabiting people even though cohabitation is almost equivalent to an officially certified marriage relationship in the eyes of most people in Denmark. Moreover, consistent with a few studies reporting that same-gender sexual orientation is associated with suicidality (30, 31), our results clearly show an elevated suicide risk for homosexuals, although this effect was likely to be underestimated because data were available only for those choosing to officially register as partners and only for the period after 1994. Taken together, our results suggest that a traditional family structure may be associated with lower suicide risk, although we cannot determine if the lower risk results from a protective effect of marriage, e.g., in the face of setbacks or difficulties, or from a marriage selection effect (32).

PF: Doesn’t that say that allowing gays to marry (not civil union, but real marriage) would lower their risk of suicide? And if we’re so concerned about suicide risks among gays, wouldn’t that be the only humane thing to do?

[redacted]: But we're not concerned about suicide rates of gays. We're concerned that our children might be gay and therefore at risk of suicide.

PF: But if you thought that your children might be gay, and at risk for suicide, wouldn't you want to protect them . . . oh, never mind.

[redacted]:

And I'm right, it does seem that the risk is likely to be underestimated because it only includes gay couples who officially registered with the state. So wow, it might be even worse, yet UFI failed to point that out (and it would have strengthened their point!) They also failed to quote-mine the better quote here, which is that "a traditional family structure may be associated with lower suicide risk." Why wouldn't they want to point this out? Well, the researchers themselves say that it is indeterminable whether this is because of "a protective effect of marriage...or from a marriage selection effect."

Okay, let's check out this marriage selection effect in a second, but first I want to point out a couple of things:

1) Oddly, the APA's rejection of homosexuality as a disorder makes the APA "suspect" in most UFI/"traditional marriage" arguments. Yet they're quite happy to use THIS research OF THE OFFICIAL PUBLICATION OF THE APA to make their point. Look, people - either they're a credible resource...or they're NOT. And you've stated many many times that, in your opinion, the APA declassified homosexuality as a disorder because they are "political" and not "scientific." Well, then, I say you can't use this study. Wait, let's be more generous than that. Let's go ahead, since our stance relies heavily on the APA, and accept this resource, and see, really, what can be said about it. Shall we?

2) Before we get to that, I want to point out again that just because Denmark is more "tolerant" of gays doesn't mean they don't experience any anti-gay bias that could contribute to suicidality. This "tolerance" is fairly recent, and it would be hard to say that the salutary effects of the legalization of gay marriage could have occurred significantly in the 3 years before the study ended. Okay, on to conclusions by the researchers. (Oddly, the UFI is quick to point out that "we just don't know yet what can happen when you legalize gay marriage" when the results show something GOOD happening; then they claim that "more studies, more long-term studies, larger samples" need to be occur before they will accept the research. [Yes, shock, awe, blah blah.])

Oh, look. That's it for "homosexuality" in the study. But there's THIS interesting tidbit at the end of the study that I find telling, seeing how the US is not Western European:

Research and Clinical Implications

The socioeconomic environment in Denmark is similar to that in other Scandinavian countries and would probably also be comparable to that in most Western European countries. However, it may be difficult to generalize the findings of this study to other countries with different social, economic, or cultural conditions.

So...the researchers basically say not to generalize this study to other countries with "different social, economic, or cultural conditions." I'm guessing that prohibition of gay marriage might count as a "different....cultural condition." Strange, this doesn't seem like a good study to support anti-gay attitudes in the U.S.

PF: so, we got through 2 points out of 20. This could take a while.

In Which I Do Not Commit Suicide

suicide, atheism, atheist, pagan, paganism, neo-paganism, neopaganism, religion, christian, christianity, god, bible, fundamentalism, fundamentalist, fundamentalism, darrow, miller
Becoming an atheist does not inevitably lead one to suicide. (Unless every atheist blogger is posting from beyond the grave, that is.) What many theists consider to be the most terrifying thoughts possible- there is no god, there is no afterlife, it's all up to us- the atheist considers to be the most hopeful of thoughts. (Simply put, just because you don't like something, doesn't mean other people don't like it.)

Why do I mention this? Well, Disciples Nations Alliance is at it again. (Oh my blog, it's another DNA!)

This was written as a response to numerous comments that Darrow received on his last post.

Basically, Darrow stated that atheism is dying. A number of commenters, including yours truly, pointed out that not only is atheism not dying, it's gaining a greater percentage of the population. Apparently, Darrow is one of those fellows who just can't bear to be proven wrong.

It seems that this blog struck a chord with some people who are Atheists in their belief/faith system no, we're just atheists. and, atheists don't have a belief/faith system. we just don't believe in god. that's more of a lack-of-belief system. A number have called me on my assertion that Atheism is dying me! and they have stated that it is growing true. Let me respond with a few points:

1) When I say that Atheism is dying, I mean that the systems that were founded upon the Atheistic (and materialistic) set of assumptions - Communism, Fascism and Hedonistic-Capitalism have died or are dying. These system have fallen (or are falling as we witness the current global economic crises) because the Atheistic mental infrastructure upon which they were founded has proven insufficient for human life, liberty, justice, happiness, and the deepest longings of the human spirit.

I was wrong about what I said, so I really meant to say something else. Yeah. He just can't admit that a bunch of atheists proved him wrong. We couldn't possibly know more about atheism than him.

I also enjoy being blamed for communism, facism and hedonistic-capitalism- whatever that is. (I assume that he means that unfettered capitalism is the highest good, and if it screwed up the freakin' world (see: current economic crisis), it's not that regulations are necessary, it's that we were practicing the wrong kind of capitalism. yeah.

Nazis and Atheism, a quick review. In the belt buckles of elite Nazis SS troops was inscription "Gott mitt uns" of "God with us", which is not an atheist slogan.

On taking power, Hitler banned freethought organizations like the German Freethinkers League and launched an "anti-godless" movement.In a 1933 speech Hitler declared: "We have… undertaken the fight against the atheistic movement, and that not merely with a few theoretical declarations: we have stamped it out."

Hitler hated atheists. Hitler hated practically everyone, and he certainly didn't hate atheists like he hated jews, but atheists were on the menu.

2) While Atheism is in its death-throws, Atheists are not. ummm . . . how can the number of atheists be increasing, while atheism decreases? atheism and atheists are indistinguishable in this context. Modern Atheists have become militant i want my damn jackboots! or dogmatic in their assumptions. hehehehehehe. this from a fundy. who doesn't love a good dose of irony? In the past, Atheists were happy to engage with reason with Agnostics, Christians, Hindus, or anyone from another school of thought. The militant Atheists of today no longer want a level playing field and discussion provided by the Judeo-Christian concept of the freedom OF religion. They are fighting for the freedom FROM religion. judeo-christian concept of . . . what? why don't i just call abortion a judeo-christian ideal and call it a day, if we're just saying anything we want. They want to move any discussion of religion from the public square.

Oh, I see. The War on Religion. (For those of you who lost your atheist calendar, the War on Religion falls between the War on Nurses and the War on Christmas.) You see, I pay for public land. Therefore, putting religious displays on public land has me paying to support a religious display for a religion I am not a member of and don't support. There has got to be a better use for my money. I also pay for the printing of money, therefore, I would like "In God We Trust" removed. (Until then, I will continue to cross out the "God" and replace it with "Gay".)

However, you are perfectly welcome to believe in whatever you wish. I don't wish to close down churches, private people/groups are welcome to display whatever they want, and anyone who wants to can keep right on trusting in god. Please feel free to pipe in, my pagan friends: have I ever tried to defaith you?

I think this is another sign of the desperation of the modern Atheist. The fact that I don't like being forced to pay for religious displays is "desperation"? I love redefining words for no good reason. The militant Atheists jackboots!, unlike more honest Existentialists of an earlier generation lying jackboots!, do not want to look at or be confronted by the logic of their assumptions. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! from a christian, no less! After all, if there is no God, then everything that has its basis in his existence is gone. wait for it. Love, beauty, morals, truth, and the significance of human life all disappear.

That's right: you can't love, see beauty, have morals, tell or recognize the truth or value life without god. The fact that I do all of those things, as does every other atheist on the planet, is irrelevant. We're all liars. Psychopathic, murdering, lying liars. In jackboots.

The logical consequences of Atheism is suicide. no, it's not. after all, i believe there is no afterlife. therefore, the logical consequence of atheism is to cling to life for as long as possible, because when it's over, it's over. the christian, on the other hand, believes that the afterlife will be infinitely better than this life. therefore, the logical consequence of christianity is not getting out of the way of a speeding train. Or, if one does not have the courage for suicide wait, suicide is courage now? somehow not the tack I expected this asshat to take., then there is a step away from reason. stop abusing logic. that doesn't even make sense. If I escape from reason, I no longer need to live faced with the reality of my Atheistic assumptions. oh, so we're delusional, psychopathic, murdering, lying liars. in jackboots.

3) As some have indicated, many people in the West are fleeing from a Christianity that no longer seems relevant. i'm not running away from, i'm running towards. towards logic, reason and the end to hatred in belief's name. Tragically happily, this is true. Europe is certainly post-Christian i'd move to england, but there's the food. oh, and i can barely understand the average briton. i know, it's your language, which makes it my problem, but what are you saying? and the USA has reached a tipping point. everybody, one step to the left! But people who are fleeing Christianity are not becoming Atheists. ummmmm . . . is this an exercise in verbal ADD? They are moving towards alternative forms of spirituality. Whoo, pagans! They cannot stand the emptiness and spiritual vacuum of Atheism. we are neither empty nor spiritually vacuous. stop that. At the same time, they do not want the costly faith is that supposed to be a selling point? it's expensive- buy some! of a God who is Lord of their life or not and a faith that has a solid meta-physic wtf is a "solid meta-physic"? and a set of moral absolutes. sorry, pagans, you're morally bankrupt. want some jackboots? Those who are leaving “traditional faith” are, with few exceptions, wanting a spirituality without content and morals. ouch. well, you can't be surprised. people who hate atheists don't like pagans, either. They want a feel-good faith insert your own masturbation/sex joke here that lets them live life on their own terms. Perhaps this is a new form of Atheism. I prefer to call it post-modern, neo-paganism. repeat after me: paganism is not atheism.

-Darrow L. Miller you know, for an attempt to fix his first post, this was a complete failure.

Assisted Suicide and a Very Honest Moment

assisted, suicide, ethics, morality, immoral, murder, euthanasia, euthenasia

You've been getting a lot of honest moment's out of me recently, and here's another one. In fact, the honesty here might be a little bit much, just so's you know.

cschande has an article up about proposed assisted suicide in Hawaii. (Naturally, it's Teh Evul.) I will say this: the vast majority of people whom you think would want to commit suicide (terminal cancer patients, for example) don't want to. I will also say this: assisted suicide happens in the US every day. It's illegal, so the doctors involved are risking their licenses and livelihoods, but it still happens. Why?

Let me give you an example. I knew a man whose wife collapsed one day unexpectedly. She hadn't said a word about feeling sicker and sicker and sicker for an entire year. She was too busy, she was scared of doctors, and she was probably afraid of having confirmed what she already suspected: she had cancer. Liver cancer, to be exact, that had metastesized all over her body, including to her brain.

Within 3 weeks, this previously kind, funny young woman became a raging maniac as the cancer ate away her brain. Her husband sent her to hospice, but she was sent back home because she kept assaulting the aides with whatever objects were handy. Once she was home, their daughter had to be sent to live with relatives, because mommy tried to kill her. Then came the pain. The cancer got into the nociception centers of her brain, causing unimaginable pain throughout her entire body. Painkillers can't work once that's happened. There is nothing to do about the pain at that point except feel every bit of it, with no relief, not even for a moment.

She screamed in agony no narcotic could touch for 36 hours straight before her husband called her doctor and begged him to do something, anything. Her doctor brought over an extra vial of morphine. The husband was enraged: morphine didn't work at all, what was this idiot doctor thinking?

"Too much morphine and she won't be able to breathe," the doctor said. "It would be an accident, anyone could understand how easy it would be to give too much morphine to a woman screaming in agony for days."

"There's no other way, is there?" the husband asked.

"She's dying," said the doctor. "You know that. It could be an hour from now or weeks from now, but that pain's not going away. She's not getting better. I'm sorry, but there's nothing more to be done."

I think you can guess what happened next. What would you do? (If it takes you less than 30 seconds to come up with the answer, you didn't think hard enough.)