Friday, January 15, 2010

108 Sins

Why am I not currently being hugged by a sloth?

That's right, kids, the Bible lists 108 types of sins!

Along with the ever popular murder, adultery and witchcraft, the following are apparently also sinful:

Anxiety (Phil. 4:6; 2 Kings 6:15) And now millions of fundies are anxious about their anxiety, further compounding their sin.

Carelessness (Exod. 4:24-26) Dropped a plate? Knocked over a lamp? You're going to hell!

Compromise (Judg. 2:2; 1 Kings 22:1-4) Well, that explains everything.

Delaying (Acts 24:24-25) Delaying what? Now I'm imagining standing at the pearly gates and having Peter tell me that due to that time I pushed back dinner an hour in 1998, I'm going to burn for all eternity.

Doubt (Matt. 14:31; 1 Tim. 2:8) said every cult leader, ever.

Dullness of hearing (Heb. 5:11-14; of seeing, 2 Pet. 1:9) I do love a little ablism.

Living in the flesh (Gal. 3:3) Where else would I live? Because given the chronic pain, I'd love to know.

Murmuring (Exod. 14:10-12; 16:7; 17:2-3) IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY LOUD WORLD IF THIS GETS OUT.

Partiality (James 1:2-4) Now that doesn't make any sense. Aren't they opposing marriage for everyone?

Unbelief (Matt. 13:58; Heb. 4:6, 11) Ah, fuck it. I'm already living in the flesh and anxious about it. I may as well not believe.

Willful ignorance (2 Pet. 3:5)
Wisdom rejecting (
Prov. 1:20-29) Bad news for the Creationist/ID crowd.

Got a problem? Christianity has the solution- and we guarantee you have a problem!

1 comment:

  1. Lulz. Great reactions, PF. Though, on that last one about “Willful ignorance/rejecting” – doesn’t that entirely invalidate anything remotely religious?


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