Friday, January 15, 2010

I'm Guessing You Don't Work for the CIA

not nearly this glamorous

Is it a full moon? I ask because apparently every person calling the law firm I work for has completely lost their mind.

If you have no clear idea who you are calling for or why you are calling, please hang up and call back when you do, because I don't know.

You do not work for the CIA. If you are unwilling to tell me who is calling, I will be equally unwilling to tell my boss that you are on the phone.

I am not your wife, mother or childhood best friend. This explains why I don't recognize your voice. Stop being offended about it.

I do not have your number memorized and I can tell you right now that my boss doesn't either. Give me your phone number or don't expect a call back.

I have neither the desire nor the time to listen to your life's story. I'm sure it's all very interesting, but I have a brief to type and 3 other calls to take, and all I'm going to write down is your name and your phone number, so let's just leave it at that.

I can give my boss your message, but I can't make him respond to it. I'm sorry if that makes you angry, but please stop taking it out on me.

I am so glad it is Friday.


  1. Friday is, in my opinion, long overdue for this week.

  2. Not only is it not a full moon, but it's actually a new moon. Trufax.

  3. well then we better get us to a bunker in a couple of weeks, because if this is what people are like with no moon . . .

  4. People who usually aren't affected by the Full Moon go kind of bonkers at the New Moon.
    BTW, we are getting those calls here too. They are really bizarre, and people are really moody.

  5. Maybe you should write a post about the Top 10 Funniest, Creepiest and Plain Weirdest Calls you’ve ever gotten. That should be a heck of a thing.

  6. I feel your pain. I have had so many phone calls like that when I worked in an office.

    Yet lately, its been happening at home. Do you get this:

    Phone rings

    Me: Hello

    Other person: Hello

    Me:.... (this is the part where they are supposed to tell me who they are and what they want, because unlike the person who made the phone call, I'm not sure who the person on the other end of the phone is).

    Me: (Impatient at the silence). Yes?

    Other person:...

    Me: Who is it!?

  7. You know, I've been thinking, and today was the longest solar eclipse of the third millennium. Of course, it was only visible from Africa through Russia. But I don't see why it shouldn't affect NEPA... Theoretically...

  8. A friend of mine in Germany was an actual "noble", but when I knew him '66 - '67 he was a corporal in the luftwaffe. My girlfriend and I went home with him a few times for weekends, one of the places we went was a Rhein castle.

    The room we usually got in that place had a "comic" painting, done in the late 1700s.

    This painting depicted people sitting in a chair, being decapitated by a man who was behind them with a sword, the head replaced by a cabbage, and people with cabbages for heads walking about as if all were normal.

    I have run into no end of people who make me wonder if they met the guys with the sword and cabbage and had the "operation". They sure acted like it.

    Could have meant an improvement, really.

  9. From real-life experience, callers from the CIA will helpfully introduce themselves thusly: "Hi, I'm [First Name] from the Agency," which can be a bit confusing, though they're willing to clarify that "the Agency" in question is Central Intelligence. So, actually, CIA callers are likely to be more professional and clearer than the people you describe.


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