Thursday, June 9, 2011

Porn for Women (SFW, Don't Worry)


Fannie, who is Teh Awesome, made a comment on my last post about something called Porn for Women, which involves pictures of men doing housework.

Of course, I had to look.

The first thing I found doing a google search for "porn for women housework" is this. (see above) It's a book containing pictures of mostly clothed men vacuuming and such.

I think I just rolled my eyes so hard I sprained them.

This is not pornography. I don't even think the most modesty obsessed fundys I stalk would consider that pornography. Unseemly, perhaps, but only in that their wives ought to be doing the housework.

I find this disturbing on two levels.

1. "As soon as I'm done with the laundry, I'll do the grocery shopping and take the kids with me so you can relax" is not erotica. This is erotica*. Honestly rather mild erotica that kinda flirts with kinky. But it's erotica.

"I'm going to do some chores and spend time with my children" should just be normal communication between partners. (Also, I am seriously uncomfortable with mentions of children and erotica in the same place.) That that is eroticized is disturbing. I find it unbelievable that I am so outside normal gender roles and interplay that I am experiencing erotica on a regular basis and not recognizing it.

Seriously, really, honestly, truly this sort of thing is so rare in the average marriage that it counts as erotica? My husband is no great shakes in the participating in the maintaining our property department, and he says something like this to me all the time. (Obviously, not involving kids.)

"Hey, I had some time waiting for the sauce to reduce, so I loaded the dishwasher."

"I noticed you had laundry left in the dryer, so I folded it and brought it upstairs."

"I spilled salt all over the kitchen floor, so I figured I might as well sweep the entire downstairs while I was at it."


Yes, I do thank him. He also compliments me on a job well done every time I clean the kitchen and every time he finds just the t-shirt he wanted, already clean, in his drawer**.

This does not arouse me. I do not fantasize about this. I'm not telling you you shouldn't be aroused by this sort of thing because I don't care what gets you off, but, c'mon, really?

Men want to fuck, women want to . . . sit around eating bon bons? This is a view of male/female relations stuck somewhere in a mythical, TV 1950s, then turned into a joke that isn't funny. Women, they do all the housework and- hahahahaha!- it's housework that turns them on. If men do it.

2. This enforces so many gender stereotypes I don't know where to start. and, it plays them off as a hilarious joke so that I'm just a meany mean feminazi with no sense of humor for complaining about it.

Let's see if I can list all the gender stereotypes at work here:

  • housework is women's work. If men do it, it's superspecial.
  • childcare is women's work. if men do it, it's superspecial.
  • fucking is what men want. women don't really like to fuck. women consent to fucking.
  • women consent to fucking in order to please men.
  • what women really like to to is get a break from women's work.
  • women are not turned on by depictions or descriptions of sex. that is for men.

I probably missed a few. And no, it's not fucking funny. This is not pornography. It's also not a joke. It's just another slap in the face of women as mature adults with actual sexual feelings.




*C'mon, you knew there was Jägererotica, Rule 34 demands it. And if you didn't think I knew where it was, you just don't know me.

**The man is incapable of putting dirty clothes in a hamper, so simply finding his dirty clothes is like Indiana Jones in my house. He should compliment me.

12 comments:

  1. Hee hee hee. Good post.

    Because of crap like this, I totally get why some straight women read m/m fan fiction.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeahhhh... this sort of humor pretty much requires you to A) assume that men never do housework or take care of the kids, when in face some of us - particularly in our generation - do so all the time; and B) conflate the idea of "porn" (erotic fantasy) with any sort of pleasant fantasy.

    Unless, I suppose, you actually are the woman in a cis-hetero marriage where the man never does any of the housework and never takes care of the kids, and the mere idea of him doing so brings you an orgasmic level of pleasure. In that case, you might consider this porn. Of course, you might also want to reconsider your marriage, but that's just me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here goes another perspective on the issue. Because I used to frequently listen to conservative Christian radio I'm pretty well versed in this concept, though that is certainly not the conservative Christians call it. The theory goes thusly:

    The woman is so exhausted from running the errands, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, dusting the furniture, vacuuming and sweeping and mopping, cleaning the toilets, making the beds, bathing and raising the kiddos and working a full time job that if her hot hunk-o-man lifts even so much as a finger to help her out (in tasks they should equally share, mind you) she will likely jump his bones.*sigh*

    I have no desire(pun intended) to be in that kind of marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Quasar;

    that was the exact same xkcd *I* thought of!


    great minds, we keep proving it :)



    i've seen some absolutely love photos of men in incredibly erotic poses - and most women i know look at it and can't - CAN'T - find it sexy - those poses look "wrong" when it's a man. [i think if they're wrong, i REFUSE to be right, but then again, it's well known that i have a great relationship with sex, when my stupid fucking body WILL fuck! *sob]

    in our culture, men just somehow CAN'T be sexy. except so many women DO find them sexy, hence erotica - it's the ONLY mass market that really attempts to deliver what women DO want.

    which is a HOT SEXY MAN and a frikken ROBOT to do the housework!

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  6. So you don't get the humor, we get it. It's very odd that you undo your entire post with a little footnote at the end "The man is incapable of putting dirty clothes in a hamper, so simply finding his dirty clothes is like Indiana Jones in my house".
    And if you'd look, you'd find plenty of research on the positive relationship between amount of housework a guy in a relationship does and how much sex he has with his partner. How that works, IDK. I'm single, lousy at housework, and I like sex. When I'm in a relationship the guy has to do the housework or it doesn't get done. And we have sex.

    ReplyDelete
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