Wednesday, June 1, 2011

#ThankingGod

I have got to stop clicking on twitter's trending topics. I just have to stop, if only for the sake of my blood pressure. But, in the waning moments before my heart explodes, I give you #ThankingGod:

Thanking God for another day!! BE GREAT TODAY PEOPLE!!!!

I'm thanking God for letting me wake up to see another beautiful day :)

Thanking God For Waking Me Up To See Another Day!!!!


Yes, there is no explanation for the world continuing to turn and the sun continuing to shine. Oh, look, it's another minute of existence- Thank you God! Honestly, some people have unbelievably low standards.

Thanking God for everything.


Ebola, AIDS, tornadoes, hurricanes, nuclear power reactor meltdowns, WWII, atomic weapons, cancer, child molestation, you know, everything.

Thanking God that Thanking God is trending again!!!


How meta.

Ha! I was just "thanking God" for my (awesome) job too. Literally.


I have literally no idea what literally means in that sentence.


God is Thanking God that most people who believe in him don't read the bible


lulz!

I just gave a homeless man my last. Then cried thanking God that I have a full tank of gas. God is so good


So, first we have a Christian thanking god that she isn't blind, now we have a Christian thanking god she isn't homeless like that guy she just ran into. Wow.

Thanking God, for unbelievers, cuz it strengthens me to be able to change their destiny.


And if you fail or just don't reach in time, we burn forever in hell! But that's okay, at least we strengthened you! Don't mind us, we'll just be screaming our lungs out for the next eternity for your sake.

Honestly.

6 comments:

  1. I avoid clicking on some of those trending topics for this very reason. Teh stooopid, it burnzz.

    Reminds me of when Jon Stewart went all peevy on one of those View ladies for praising god for having gotten her out of the way of a tsunami. Stewart quite rightly pointed out how god apparently left all the rest of the people there to die.

    The sheer hypocrisy of people who thank a deity for their own personal crap is staggering. I always love it in sports...god must totally hate all losing teams! Quick, quick, sacrifice a goat!

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  2. Just once, I want to see a football player in an after game interview say, "We were doing great until Jesus made me fumble!"

    Seriously, these people never seem to realize that if God got you out of the way of the tornado, then he did not get all those other people out of the way with equal intentionality. The implications of that are, well, if I lost a loved one in such a disaster, I'd be foaming at the mouth with rage at such a statement.

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  3. Seriously, these people never seem to realize that if God got you out of the way of the tornado, then he did not get all those other people out of the way with equal intentionality.

    I think the worst example of this mentality is a certain awful email forward about 9/11. It gives a list of a number of people who were somehow delayed in getting to work or catching their flight, thereby preventing them from dying in the attack. Of course this is supposed to be a message about how we should be thankful for even the little inconveniences because it might be God's way of us keeping us away from a tragic end or something.

    Everytime I see it, I can only think, "So what, God could arrange multiple "inconvenient moments" to save twenty people or so, but couldn't instead have created one incident in which the terrorist's themselves were delayed or discovered, thereby saving everyone?

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  4. I know a guy who only avoided dying in 911 because he was sent out to get coffee for the office. He is now a drug addicted wreck, unable to let go of the guilt. The thought that God saved him instead of his friends is not a comfort to him, it just makes him feel worse.

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  5. i sort of know a guy, he's a Wall Street guy [small business, but makes enough money to have offices in the Tower]. he had left the office to get doughnuts from Krispy Kreme for everyone who worked for him.

    one of his secretaries was home cuz her child was sick. the rest of his staff...

    my mom found him 2 days later, so filthy that people didn't *realize* that he was wearing what HAD been a multi-thousand dollar suit. he had his wallet, his ID, and a couple hundred dollars - no one even tried to steal from him, he was such a wreck everyone assumed he was a homeless guy [not helped by the fact that he was black]. my mom dragged him into a Red Cross tent to evaluate him - he was still in shock, hadn't eaten, drank, or slept since the plane hit -


    he still can't stand even the THOUGHT of Krispy Kreme. seeing a store makes him ill. someone offered him a doughnut and he threw up, a couple months ago.

    and he's been in jail TWICE for assult, when people tell him to "praise God, praise Jesus". [charges dropped both times]

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  6. "Thanking God for another day!! BE GREAT TODAY PEOPLE!!!!

    I'm thanking God for letting me wake up to see another beautiful day :)

    Thanking God For Waking Me Up To See Another Day!!!!


    Yes, there is no explanation for the world continuing to turn and the sun continuing to shine. Oh, look, it's another minute of existence- Thank you God! Honestly, some people have unbelievably low standards."

    Actually, I'm thinking of thanking Princess Celestia and Princess Luna for the Day and Night from now on when I wake up and go to bed. Sure they're cartoon characters, but they're a lot friendlier than God seems to be and don't seem inclined to cast me into Hell just because I haven't said some Magic Words.

    ReplyDelete

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Forever in Hell by Personal Failure is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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