Why Does Building Up Men Inevitably Mean Tearing Down Women

I am highly suspicious of anything that calls itself a "men's movement", probably because this [trigger warning: rape] calls itself a "men's movement", as well. Yet again, I am right to be suspicious.

The Christian Men’s Network will be putting on a conference designed to serve as “a radical revolution calling men to a higher standard of masculinity.”

Men from around the world will converge in Dallas, Texas, next week to learn how to be “a real man.”

Oh, yes, "real men". You know that's just going to be horrible. I have promoted my concept of femininity here before, but in case you're new, I believe that anything a woman does is feminine. So a woman playing hockey is as inherently feminine as a woman baking a cake while wearing a pink dress. Whatever floats your boat. I feel the exact same way about masculinity. Anything a man does in inherently masculine. A man baking a cake while wearing a pink dress is as masculine as a man playing hockey. Men are, by definition, manly.

Ergo, we don't really need to teach men to be manly and that's not what they're talking about, anyway. What they're really talking about is teaching adults to act like adults, i.e., fulfill obligations responsibly. Is there some reason we can't say that without invoking adulthood as masculine and femininity as lesser?

Apparently not.

Cole says he bases this movement on Timothy 2:2.

“Paul commanded Tim , find faithful men and teach them and they’ll be able to teach others. What God is looking for is what every woman is looking for – not a man of great power, but a man who will be faithful. When we develop faithful men, we develop mature men,” he said.

Are men not looking for faithful women? Are women looking for nothing else in men? Is faithfulness really the end all and be all of maturity, and if so, why is not the end all and be all of maturity for all adults, women and men alike?

All I can conclude is that women aren't ever really mature, no matter how old they are. Women are children forever.

The younger Cole explained that there is a need for teaching leadership and maturity in culture. In dealing with various cultures around the world, he finds that maturity in men is lacking across the board.

Women are either not a part of culture, or not in need of possessing leadership and maturity.

“The issue in our culture today is the immaturity in our men,” he noted. “To be a real man is to be more like Christ. Jesus was a strong man; he wasn‘t a wimp man, he wasn‘t a feminine man, yet he was highly compassionate. The stronger a man is at the core of his character, the more compassionate he can be in the outreach of his hands.”

*sigh* The "wimp man". The "feminine man". Because strength and maturity are the traits of men and femininity is weak and to be despised. Immaturity is bad in men, and to be expected in women.

Every damn day. Every damn day girls in our society are exposed to this message, that strength is for boys, leadership is for boys and "girly" is an insult.

Every damn day.Every damn day boys in our society are exposed to this message, that strength is for boys, leadership is for boys and "girly" is an insult.

It's just as bad for the boys as it is for the girls, and it's just as bad for the adults they grow up to be. I'm all for adults acting responsibly and fulfilling obligations. I'm all for fathers fulfilling their parental duties. I just don't think it needs to be accomplished by means of degrading women and forcing a particular gendered ideal upon us all.

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Manly Virtues

It's easy to forget, as a woman, that the patriarchy puts as much pressure on men to adhere to a strictly defined, and ultimately crushing, gender role as it does on women. As difficult as it is for women to hold to a certain ideal of femininity, with its soft spoken, stupidly weak and dependent "perfection", it can't be any easier for the average man to be the character John Wayne portrayed in movie after movie. (Keeping in mind, of course, that not even John Wayne was John Wayne: off screen, he was Marion*.)

I am reminded of this by When Masculine Virtues Go Out of Fashion by Tom Hoffman.

The culture war begun in the sixties has, in large part, been won by the left. Nowhere is this clearer than in the feminization of men. The virtues of manhood which had been extolled and celebrated throughout the middle ages right up to the 1950s have been completely expunged from academia and pop culture. The baby boom generation was the last to be taught the values of rugged individualism, risk-taking, courage, bravery, loyalty, and reverence for tradition. John Wayne epitomized the rugged individual who was committed to fighting "the bad guy," but he was only one of a whole host of competing figures cut out of the same cloth. What happened?

Not even John Wayne was actually John Wayne, dude. That rugged individualist, with his risk-taking, courage, bravery, loyalty and reverence for tradition wasn't real**. That's not even a whole person. I mean, how does one live with a risk-taking individualist? What kind of father is that? I can't even imagine what hobbies that sort of person has, other than bear wrestling or sky diving. Sure, I bet the wrestling a bear while sky diving stories are great at first, but eventually you might want to discuss current events or just watch TV. It also completely excludes even the slightly disabled from being truly masculine. You better believe I would run off with Stephen Hawking and his sexy, sexy brain well before I would run off with some bear wrestling loyalist.

Today, the Boy Scouts are fighting the last battle in a lost cause. Any man who stands up to the "women's movement" is completely marginalized as a sexist and homophobe. These names have become just as stigmatizing as "racist" used to be. It is no wonder that women now are the majority of college graduates and are increasing their role in every institution from private enterprise to public service, including the military. Is this a healthy trend? The answer is clearly "no."

Um, no. The Boy Scouts are not viewed as homophobes for fighting feminism, they are viewed as homophobes for excluding homosexuals from their organization. By definition, bigoted. A rose is a rose is a rose and a bigoted rose is a bigoted rose is a bigoted rose. Wait, as stigmatizing as "racist" used to be? When did "racist" cease to be stigma- oh, right, since the Tea Party made it hip to be a white supremecist.

Edward Gibbon chronicles the increasing femininity of the Roman Empire in his six-volume work, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. He catalogues the progressive decadence that rendered the once-proud republic into spoils for barbarian hordes. The consuls in the early republic, who were warrior-generals adhering to a strict code of honor, gradually gave way to the backroom emperors who were no more than brazen criminals and thugs. It is the same script in all noble human enterprise: The fabric which bred success is torn apart by the complacency of the successful. When warfare is demonized as violence and negotiation is raised to an art, the end is near. Today, we are there.

Okay, two things. Wouldn't brazen criminals and thugs still be pretty darn close to the masculine ideal? They are certainly rugged individualist and risk takers (that practically defines violent criminals) and speaking in terms of the mafia, I'd also allow them courage, bravery, loyalty, and reverence for tradition as well. (It would have helped Mr. Hoffman to define what this ideal man is loyal to.)

Also, warfare good, peace bad! Killing people, including innocent noncombatants, is what real men do! Only mama's boys try talking it out, sparing human life in the process. He does realize that those "dead" guys in all those movies got up and walked away, right? And they say video games rot the mind.

Academia, with the help of the media, has labeled all reference to manly virtue as patriarchal, sexist, and homophobic. Womanly virtue, on the other hand, is extolled. Caring, compassion, sensitivity, and understanding are virtues meant to blur the distinction between good and evil and drown out the call of manly conscience to "do the right thing." Like a mother who refuses to see the evil in her son, the feminist professors cast all moral standards as relative and subjective.

Caring, compassion, sensitivity and understanding are bad. Their only purpose is to turn rugged individualists into sissies. Wow. Mr. Hoffman scares me. Also, maybe I'm just behind on the required reading (have you seen the Feminist Manifesto? It's huge!), but when did anyone declare loyalty and courage to be bad? Wait, we didn't?

Exit the cowboy and enter the mama's boy. Queen Herzeloyde would have no problem raising young Parzival in today's schools, as devoid of examples of manly virtue and rugged individualism as they are. All reference to the service of a higher calling -- to God and country -- has been replaced by the call to community service with the emphasis on care and compassion for the downtrodden.

Well, care and compassion for the downtrodden? We're just fucking doomed, aren't we? What kind of country will we be living in if we start treating the downtrodden with care and compassion instead of just rushing off to kill whatever brown people we hate this week?

Yeah, I know, a better one.

*John Wayne on John Wayne: "When I started, I knew I was no actor and I went to work on this Wayne thing," he once recalled. "It was as deliberate a projection as you'll ever see. I figured I needed a gimmick, so I dreamed up the drawl, the squint and a way of moving meant to suggest that I wasn't looking for trouble but would just as soon throw a bottle at your head as not. I practiced in front of a mirror."

**This is actually a pretty good description of Jägermonsters. I doubt this is what Mr. Hoffman has in mind.

My Vagina is The World's Greatest Threat

feminism, feminist, homophobia, homosexual, lesbian, gay, prop 8, father, masculine, masculinity, vagina,
Today I learned that my vagina is at least as destructive as a nuclear weapon. It has caused the destruction of the family, the demasculinazation of an entire generation of males, and the downfall of Western Civilization.

All Hail My Vagina!

The feminist movement has done more damage to the family than any other cultural movement in recent memory. man, mormons can be a little annoying. just because your prophet said so is not actually logical argumentation. Because of the feminist movement, we have legalized and subsidized abortions all over the world. why don't these asshats get that choice really means choice? I am fine with your choice, whatever it is. I do not want everyone everywhere to be forced into abortions. (Oh, and even raving, fundy prolifers have abortions.) Because of the feminist movement, mothers have been encouraged to leave their children to be raised by “a village”. it's not the economy, it's feminism. I'm happy that beetleblogger can stay home and raise her children while her husband works, but that is not an option for millions of families these days. would you like to shame poor people a little more, beetle? yes, feminists believe that you should have the choice to work, but we also believe you should have the choice to stay home, too. should be up to you. unfortunately, these days, not up to you. up to the economy.

Because of the feminist movement, men have lost their sense of identity and masculinity. if my strength makes you feel less, the problem is not me. strong, intelligent men have no problem feeling like men around women like me. (see: my hubby)

Because of the feminist movement, fathers have left their homes and families. why aren't we putting blame where blame is due? feminism does not turn men into deadbeat fathers. men turn themselves into deadbeat fathers. we cannot solve the problem if we put the blame in the wrong place.

Because of the feminist movement, men have sought companionship with other men; look who's been talking to euripidesraper, who is, by the way, a history professor. homosexuality is mentioned in the bible. clearly homosexuality existed prior to feminism, unless you're trying to tell me that the ancient Israelite tribes were crawling with feminists. jackass.

and women have sought it with other women. lesbianism finally gets a shoutout. totally unrelated to feminism. i'm a feminist and i don't have sex with other women, nor do i want to. if you are struggling with your own lesbian desires, beetlesilly, don't blame the feminists.

Because of the feminist movement, religious beliefs have been questioned as “outdated” and “unlawful”. i thought that was atheism. look, feminists, stay off our turf!

Traditional Gender Roles and You

asshat, tradition, traditional, feminism, feminist, masculine, masculinity, prop 8, byron, greek, conservative, stupid,
This made me stop and stare. Apparently, defining masculinity by the example of Tim "the Toolman" Taylor is still popular in some circles. (Apparently, we need to revise the Feminist Agenda, because it's not working. Please send your suggestions via email to your local Secret Feminist Council prior to March 3, 2009. All submissions must be properly formatted, according to Paragraph 135, subsections a-j.)

In the interests of full disclosure, my marriage works thusly (and works quite well, thank you very much): me: cleaning, laundry, baking, repairs; hubby: cooking, dog walking, heavy lifting, decorating. Hubby is helpless with a hammer, I would end up with the kind of living room you call HGTV to save you from.

Based on my love of home repair, video games and football, am I not a woman? What about my hubby? He loves video games and football, but he's a great decorator, enjoys cooking and asks directions- is he less of a man?

In case you're having trouble with this one- no. I am a woman, my hubby is a man. It's silly to suppose that simply because we have the freedom to reject traditional gender roles that I am not feminine and my husband is not masculine. (By the way, if a smart, strong, capable woman makes you feel like less of a man- the problem is you, not her.)

From our friend who abuses the corpses of ancient Greeks:

I woke up this morning marveling at the decline of the masculine ideal in our country. wow. really? i wake up confused as to what planet i'm on. though, apparently, so does he. I'm an average kind of guy. a manly manly kind of guy. look how manly he is. so very manly. i bet his penis is SO HUGE! (just as a clue, the more you tell women how manly you are, the smaller she assumes your penis is. unless she's 18 and very naive. which probably explains why some people are all about the virgins.) I like shooting really big handguns. penis standins. not just handguns (which i enjoy as well, or did back when i could), REALLY BIG handguns. handguns almost as big as his penis. I watch movies with lots of explosions in them. wow, me, too. Cotton is the only material I'll wear. seriously? you're such a manly man that you check the tags on all garments before you buy them- and you can tell cotton from synthetic at a glance? not a talent i possess. (You could say that wearing Levi's is in my jeans. that was clever, like 50 years ago.) I grunt when? and burp everyone does and scratch at awkward times and in awkward places. so now i have the very unfortunate picture of Mr. MYDICKISSOOOOOOBIG scratching his balls in church at a funeral. thanks. I like spicy food. so do millions of people, male and female. I never ask for directions when I'm with my wife (gotta keep up the image) so rudeness makes your dick bigger? really, this poor woman is forced to follow you in willful lostness for no good reason? get a GPS. You know - man things. not one of those things are man things. some of them are rude, and a couple are just gross, but none of these things will make you a man. (don't try this at home boys!) And yet, there isn't any place in this country for men. yeah, you can take your grunting and ball scratching at church someplace else. Here's what I mean:

Have you noticed that men's voices are getting higher pitched? no, i have not. i tried to find research on this, and couldn't. so, SHOW YOUR WORK. (Women's voices are getting lower pitched, by the way - a reverse effect. again, show your work. i will say this: my hubby's voice is so low that he has to deliberately pitch it up when talking on the phone, or the phone won't pick up the sound. phones have a very limited range.) Johnny Cash, with his deep and resonant Man Voice you know, i never thought Cash had a small penis. has been replaced by the likes of Clay Aiken. apparently, Mr. Reallybigdick forgot about the 50s, during which male singers with very high voices were quite popular. Shia LeBeouf's that is a mispelling, it is LaBeouf voice is about an octave higher than Harrison Ford's. and that proves what? Harrison Ford and Mark Hammil were in Star Wars together, and Mark Hammil's voice is at least an octave higher than Harrison Ford's.

Metrosexuals are "in." nope, metrosexuals are back out. retrosexuals are in. get with the times, dude. It's the latest thing to show off how sensitive you are as a man by dressing in Abercrombie "rugged" wear and having your long-fought for chest hair mercilessly yanked out with wax. either you grow chest hair, or you don't, nobody fights for chest hair. (What some call the lost-wax process, but what I call stupidly painful. actually, i agree on that. waxing is amazingly painful. though, waxing your chest cannot have anything on waxing your genitals.) Metros would rather work more on their hair and spray tan than work for a living. really? what proof do you have of that? most metros I have known were young men with careers. And would they go to a sports bar to actually watch the sports? Pu-leeeez! yeesh. i go to sports bars to watch sports. does that make me a guy?

The other day, I sat down with a group of men (in one of our secret Man Meetings but do you have an agenda?) and we got in a discussion about our wives bad form, that. Inevitably, one of the men mentioned that his secret to getting along with his wife was in two little words, "Yes dear." Another joined in: "The secret to a happy marriage is to decide what you want to do, then do exactly as she says." first of all, i'm guessing these guys were joking. the secret to a long lasting relationship is (a) compromise or (b) marry someone whose self esteem is so low, they'll cave to your every request. (note that i said "long lasting" not "satisfying".) The discussion was really uncomfortable to me. how can i have a really BIIIIIIG dick if i compromise with my wife? Why? Because, it seems, men can no longer think well of themselves, have a healthy esteem, without resorting to self-deprecation when it comes to women. no, now you're allowed to have self esteem that doesn't involve oppressing the little woman and scratching your balls in church. i suppose you don't have to . . .

So what happened to men and masculinity? wait for it Women obtained equal rights in this country, with voting rights, then gaining equal economic footing with men. vaginas. vaginas ruined men and masculinity. my vagina is a more powerful weapon than any really big handgun. I'm all for equal rights for women. as long as they know their place and don't try to read a map. Women and men must be allowed to participate equally in our economic system - to go as far as talent and drive can take us. at home? women have slightly more input than the dog. However, within the feminist movement, there arose a new definition of woman. Rosie Riveter! Margaret Meade! Hilary Clinton! Feminism highjacked equal rights to recreate the country in the image of the Über-Woman. what does that even mean? (I am Woman, hear me roar. so much louder than before! why is that bad?) What was the result? Hilary Clinton is Secretary of State- oh, wait, this guy probably thinks that's a bad thing. The lie that women are better than men no, we're equal to men, though infinitely better at gestating babies. top that.; women can and should compete on every level with men yes, we can and should; women are in control of their own bodies my vagina, not yours, regardless if there's a baby parked in there or not no uterus, no opinion.; all men are pigs and don't deserve any respect just because you are a pig, don't involve all the other men; if you want something done right, ask woman. depends on what it is and what women and men are available. (Why is the idea that women are better than men a lie, you ask? Because the truth of the matter is that men and women are different from each other. no, really? Neither is "better" than the other. but women shouldn't try to compete with men. that's just wrong. did a woman become department head instead of you, buddy? That men were better was the lie of the old patriarchy. That women are better is the lie of the new feminism. funny, i bet you don't spend a lot of time actually interacting with feminists, or you'd know we don't say that. try feministe. it will be quite . . . informative for you.)

Feminists deprecate men no, we don't. we like men. just not pigmen. and men turn around and fall into the trap of self-deprecation. humility is a virtue, Mr. Reallybigdick. With no respect and no cultural place for men as men i don't see why we need a cultural place for oppressing women and ball scratching in public. (except as the brunt of a joke), men have abdicated their self-respect and have turned into something not quite man, not quite woman. oh, puh-lease. either you're referring to teh gayz, or you're just an asshat. Metrosexuals and homosexuals are created out of this system. Booyah! that's right- homosexuality did not exist until feminism. Lord Byron, anyone? Ancient Greeks, like the one he named himself after? This guy is a history professor, mind you. I do not advocate a return to the old patriarchy where men dominated the world and women were treated as little more than chattel. we just shouldn't compete with you. Respect, honest respect not deranged by feminism out of control vaginas for everyone!, should be the order of the day. In the meantime, I search for others of my kind. ball scratching in private is just too much for you? Men who understand that being a man isn't the Great Evil of the day. That, and someone to go with me to shoot really big handguns and watch movies with lots of explosions in them. that would be me, asshat, if you weren't such an asshat.