Does Palin Actually Speak English?

Friday is Funday, so let's dissect an interview with Sarah Palin. (Grammarian alert: too much exposure to Palinglish is hazardous to those with a reading level above the 4th grade. If you have a blood pressure or heart condition, please consult your doctor before proceeding.)

LARRY KING: Governor, something that occurred late in the campaign, when Ted Stevens, Senator Stevens, was found guilty, both you and Senator McCain called for him to step down. That has not happened. He was re-elected.

What should he do now?

GOV. SARAH PALIN (R), ALASKA: Right, and I did, I expressed my opinion, called it like I saw it, and said before that election, as he had been found guilty on the seven counts, that he should step down. Ummm . . . why did she confirm that she expressed her opinion? King already confirmed that. Tapes of her expressing her opinion confirm that. Answering a question by repeating the nonquestion part of the question as a statement is not answering the question. Mr. Doe, you stated to the police that you did see the deceased on the night he was murdered. What happened at that meeting? Yes, I did say that I saw John that night. See, not an answer. Beyond that, by the end of that sentence, I couldn't even remember what the beginning of that sentence was. -247 points for torturing words into a noncommunicative state.

Now he chose not to, and voters in Alaska, at least thus far until those final ballots are counted, look like they are reelecting Senator Stevens. And that is the will of the people. And I'm not a dictator, I'm not going to yank anything out from under the will of the people. And now it will be up to the U.S. Senate to decide what happens next. Aaahhhh! My God! Can she just say something? I could say that in one sentence. I do believe that having been found guilty, Stevens should have stepped down, but, if the people want to elect him, that's their choice. See, you could easily see what she's getting at there. Of course, that could be the point . . . but that would make Palin an evil genius. Nah.

KING: All right. Our new CNN Opinion Research Corporation poll shows that 49 percent of adult Americans have a favorable feeling about you,
43 percent an unfavorable. In retrospect, do you think you might have hurt the ticket? Go Larry King! I couldn't possibly say that to someone's face. I'd be too worried that they might cry. Then I'd have to comfort them, which would be awkward to say the least.

PALIN: If I hurt the ticket at all sweetie, yes, you hurt the ticket. that's a fact. almost half of all Americans view you "unfavorably" and we don't vote for people we view "unfavorably", and cost John McCain even one vote, I am sorry about it because John McCain is a true American hero GI Joe, a true American hero!, he's got great solutions in terms of the challenges that are facing America right now with national security and needing to get our economy back on the right track. John McCain has solutions. Let me repeat that . . . I look forward to seeing him as a leader in the Senate, reaching out to Barack Obama and the new administration, being able to work together with the solutions that he has. but not with any solutions Obama might have.

Again, sorry if I cost him any votes, if I did. -120 points for flagrant overuse of the word "if" and using "sorry" in a nonapology.

KING: But you, you don't have an opinion as to whether you did or didn't? Sure, Larry, you go ahead and try to get a straight answer out of her. Good luck with that.

PALIN: I personally don't think that I, Sarah Palin from Alaska, the VP pick, was anyone here confused about who Larry or Sarah was talking about? I thought that was pretty clear. Yes, I, the Forever in Hell blogger wrote this blog. On a page, marker Forever in Hell. It was indeed I who wrote this blog. I don't believe that I caused the outcome to be what it was. Actually, that wasn't the question. He didn't ask if she caused the outcome, he asked if the average voter's view of her caused the problem. It helps to listen to the question. -762 points for not listening to your interviewer.

KING: All right. Let's do a little retrospective. Should you have not done the Katie Couric interview? The obvious answer to this question is "no", but we don't want to accuse Palin of seeing what is immediately obvious to the casual observer.

PALIN: Sure, I should have done the Katie Couric interview. you know, because it's good for the VP candidiate to look stupid. People like that.

KING: Should have done it? At this point, Larry can't believe his own ears.

PALIN: Her questions were fair -- I should have done it, yes. And her questions were fair. Why does she say that? Twice, in fact. Because the campaign spent too much time trying to portray Couric as some horrible bitch trying to destroy poor, poor Palin. Obviously being a bit annoyed with some of the questions, my annoyance shows through. It might be interesting to know why Palin was annoyed by relevant, easily predictable questions. And I am who I am, though, and I call it like I see it. I, Sarah Palin, the VP nominee am Sarah Palin. And some of those questions, you know, regarding what do I read up in Alaska, were to me a bit irrelevant. It's irrelevant to the voters how educated and informed the VP nominee is? Seriously? Oh, yeah, that's right, if you're a Republican, you don't need all that book learnin' and edumacation. That's for sissies. And my annoyance at those questions showed through.

But there was nothing off-base, unfair about it. Funny, your campaign and McCain seemed to think so. Does she realize you can review video after the fact? Certainly I should have done the interview. And to attribute I think that interview to any kind of negativity in the campaign or a downfall in the campaign, I think it's ridiculous. I wish that there would be -- would have been perhaps more dilution in terms of that interview being one of many, many. Because if you hit somebody often enough, they don't remember any particular blow. It all just runs together. You probably should't compare your interviews to torture, even unintentionally. -4,000 points for connecting Couric to torture.
I wish I could have done more interviews along the trail. And in retrospect, in hindsight, Yes, yes, yes, we get it, looking back, reviewing the issue, I wish I would had more opportunities or that we would have seized more opportunities to speak more…

LARRY: Katie Couric, by the way, said last night that she thinks you should keep your head down, work really hard, and learn about governing before contemplating a presidential run. What are your thoughts about her saying you should learn about governing? Larry's thoughts: at least I could hide behind Couric on this one!

PALIN: Well, thank you, Katie Couric, for your advice. And I won't reciprocate in giving her any advice, that's for sure, because I have respect for her and the profession that she is in. Palin just called Couric out as being disrespectful. If Katie Couric wants to give me any advice at all, on any subject, I will thank her profusely and do exactly that. That would including finding a lake and jumping into it. It's freaking Katie Couric! minus infinity for not taking Couric's advice. -I would have greater respect though for the entire profession called mainstream media -implying that it should be called something else. Not sure what. Oh that's right, those darn book learned, edumacated, media elite- if we could have great assurance that there is fairness, that there is objectivity throughout the reporting world. Because if you criticize Palin in any way, or even imply there might be some way she could better herself, that's not fairness or objectivity. Palin is perfect. Perfectly perfect!
And you know, Larry, there, too, if there is anything that I can do in terms of assisting there and allowing the credence, the credibility that that great vocation, that cornerstone of our democracy called the press, if I can help build up that credibility in the press and allow the electorate to know that they can believe everything that is reported through the airwaves and through print, I want to be able to help. Palin to the rescue!

I started out as a journalist. You started out as the sports girl on tv. That's tangentally related to media, but it's not journalism. It's that important to me that that cornerstone of our democracy is given the credence and credibility that it deserves. by never criticizing me. or asking me annoying questions. about whether or not I can name one court case in the last 100 years. (A woman who thinks another woman who was raped by her father and all 5 brothers shouldn't get an abortion can't come up with Roe v. Wade?) But we have to have a two-way street here going where reporters are fair, objective, non-biased. in my favor. We get back to the who, what, where, when, and why, and allow the viewers and the listeners and the readers to make up their own minds and not so much commentary I think being involved in mainstream media's questioning and reporting on candidates. Actually, the problem with media today is that they've gotten too much into simply quoting people, no matter how ridiculous or asinine the quote, without doing any research into the truth of the matter. "Some people think slavery is bad, Jim, some people think it's good. I dunno, you decide."
I would like to kind of help build back that credibility in that cornerstone of our democracy called our media, allowing for the checks and balances that government needs. please name your favorite amendment. i've always been fond of the first.

KING: Concerning the president-elect. During the campaign, governor, you expressed concerns about Obama's lack of executive experience and characterized him as "palling around with terrorists."
Do you fear the United States under his presidency, do you fear for the United States? No, she just wanted to make the rest of us of fear Obama (MUSLIM!TERRORIST!HE'sBLACK!)

PALIN: I don't have fear, I have optimism and Barack Obama is going to surround himself with those who do have executive experience and there was nothing mean-spirited, there was no negative campaigning when I called Barack Obama out on his associations, Uh-huh. minus another infinity for expecting anyone to buy that. When you whip up a crowd to the point where they start calling random cameramen the n-word, you can't go back and say you did not engage in negative campaigning. Thanks for proving that the majority of USians don't want to go back to pre-civil rights US. That was a refreshing discovery. you know, we're talking specifically of course about Bill Ayers, an unrepentant domestic terrorist who campaigned to bomb our United States Capitol and our Pentagon (and succeeded in blowing up the same statue twice, doing $10,000 damage to the Pentagon, didn't kill anyone and is now a college professor) and uh, I don't think that there is anything wrong with calling someone out on your associations, their record, their plans, (unless it's Katie Couric asking "annoying" questions and what was that about the Keating Five and the Alaska Successionist Party?) I expect to be called out and so did John McCain on his associations and our record (proving that Obama has more class in his little finger than the entire Republiscum Party combined) and nothing wrong with doing that (because I did it and Obama didn't) but no, I don't have fear, I have optimism because this is an historic moment in our nation's history and as Barack Obama prepares to take the office of Washington and Lincoln, what progress he has show, he has really made manifest now in terms of where our nation has been and where we are today. (he won because he's black)
I'm proud of Barack Obama. (I'm sure Obama feels all warm and fuzzy inside now) I pray for him, his family, the new administration, (if you've actually met a Pentecostal, you know that's a threat) look forward to the good things that are in store for this nation.

KING: Are you going to go to the inaugural?
PALIN: Haven't been invited it would be something perhaps if I'm not too busy up there in the State of Alaska I'd love to. Anyone can go to the inauguration. I'm going. I'm taking an unpaid day off, getting in a bus at 5:00 in the morning and spending all day there. I will probably get home at 3am if I'm lucky, then go into work for 9am. And she's going to be too busy?

KING: Something all mothers fear, though, is the knowledge that her daughter is pregnant. Was that very hard for you to take?

PALIN:But Bristol has an opportunity at this point also to reach out to other young American women and let them know that these are absolutely less than ideal circumstances that she or any other unwed teenage mother are in and it is not something to glamorize, it is not something to condone, if you will. Bristol has an opportunity to reach out to other young mothers and help them and hopefully not see such a prevalence also of unwed teenage mothers, the rates are too high. Sweetie, I love you, and I'm proud of you, but I'm going to hold you up as an example of what not to do. Here, put this red "A" on your shirt. On all of them.

KING: We're almost out of time. So quickly, do you pledge to the people that you will serve out your term?

PALIN: I pledge to the people of Alaska, I will do anything and everything that I can to progress the great state of Alaska. I will do what the people of Alaska want me to do. Short answer: no.