Coopting Mental Illness

Betcha there's 12 of those things looking at me right now. Looking- and judging.

You hear people coopt mental illness, or at least the terminology, all the time. (At least in English. I have no idea if this happens in other languages.) It's a little odd considering how we treat the actually mentally ill, but every person having a bad day is depressed, everyone acting differently than we would is insane and any person who changes their mind is schizophrenic. And everyone, absolutely everyone, has a phobia these days.

As a person who has an actual phobia*, I find this a teensy bit frustrating. For example, the Pioneer Woman, whom I find inordinately annoying, is always going on about her agoraphobia. Yes, because people with actual agoraphobia frequently get on planes on attend book signings. That is what agoraphobia is all about.

Um, no.

Here is an actual phobia. I'm at work. I look over and see a small yellowish spider crawling across my desk. I shriek and leap backwards which causes my chair to flip over, depositing me head first and ass up onto the floor- in a skirt, in front of the entire office, all of whom have totally seen this before and all say, "Oh, spider?" I then rush into my boss' office, interrupting a conference call with a Judge to demand that someone kill the spider on my desk before it crawls somewhere IWON'TKNOWHEREITIS!

That's a phobia. Phobias are completely irrational and cause irrational, bizarre behavior.

I have a friend who is as afraid of spiders as I am, if not more. Mind you, if I go into the garage, after I get out I require the Spider Protocol(tm), wherein someone has to search my hair and back for hidden spiders. I know they're just waiting for a chance to crawl all over me. Just waiting. They've got time.

Anyway, my friend is driving when a spider drops down on a web from the driver's side visor. He, without thinking, leaps into the passenger seat and opens the door. Mind you, he was going 45mph around a turn at the time. Fortunately, the car hit a tree before he could exit at 45mph. As he's sitting there dazed (he was fine), a cop, who viewed the accident, runs up the car and says, "Where'd the driver go?" My friend says that he was the driver. Before the cop can question how he ended up in the passenger's seat, my friend remembers the spider, screams and leaps out of the car.

Yeah, not a good move in front of a cop.

That's a phobia. No one could view what happened there as rational or reasonable, unless you have arachnophobia, in which case that is totally reasonable behavior. Yeah, it's the spider's car now. Just let it go, man. There will be other cars. I've ceded entire rooms to spiders before. I'm not arguing with those things.

So, yeah, mental illness. Stop coopting it.

*Nobody ever lays claim to anxiety disorders. I have no idea why not.

High Octane Nightmare Fuel

This. This is what I know will happen if I get anywhere near a spider. You may think this is funny, but this is a predictable event in my world.

I Don't Fear Death (Dying Perhaps, but Not Death)

I do not believe in an afterlife.

I have no way of knowing what happens after one dies, so I could be wrong, but I don't think anything happens after you die. I think you cease. Like going under for surgery, but without the waking up afterwards, disoriented and in pain.

I do not find this frightening. I find it impossible to imagine nothing, to be sure, but I can tell you this: there's nothing to be afraid of if I'm right. If we simply cease upon dying, you won't know the difference. You won't be capable of knowing of the difference, any more than a rock is.

The dying part, that might be bad. Depending upon what sort of dying we're talking about, I may very well be afraid of it. But being dead? Nope. Not at all.

What's really weird is that most atheists I know are like this. "Death? Meh, whatever." Whereas most Christians seem to view death the way I view a two-foot wide spider (There are no words). In fact, Christians demand more extreme end of life intervention than any other group in the US. Think about that for a second. Atheists think that death is an absolute cessation, but don't request resuscitation or extreme measures to hold off death. Christians think that death is just the beginning of a fantabulous, sparkle pony and rainbow dragon adventure, yet demand that no effort be spared in extending life for 5 extra minutes.

Anyway, I bring this up because Ray Comfort is yet again confusing "you" and "me". We really ought to buy this man a dictionary. (Boganette, is there some odd NZ usage of these words to explain his confusion?)

Never forget how you feared death before you became a Christian. The Bible says that until we come to Christ, we are "subject to the fear of death all of our lifetime." When we come to faith in Jesus Christ, God places a shield of faith in our hands so that we can combat the sharp and fiery arrows of fear. We can look death in the faith and say, "You no longer have any power over me!"

We can look death in the faith? Anyway, maybe people who became and/or are Christians are people that are deeply afraid of death. Atheists in general aren't. We're not sitting around thinking ZOMG!!1!DEATH!!1!!eleventy!!! We're more eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die. Hey, is that hummus?

Actually, according to Ray's beliefs, death has no power over anyone. If he's right, I don't cease to be when I die, I live forever, in hell. Nobody dies either way, it's more a matter of location.

He who lives without faith in God is open to fiery darts of terror that will pierce him to the core. I once saw a man like that as he lay on his deathbed. He was consumed with terror. It was a horrible thing to see, and my heart went out to him. He lived his life with his back turned to God, and consequently, when he needed faith most, he had none.

Again, I am not in a state of terror. Not about death, anyway. Spiders, absolutely*. (Seriously, look at this thing.) Death, no. And quite frankly, if I were dying and Ray Comfort were watching, "peaceful" wouldn't be any part of it. Never mind that the actual act of dying can be excruciating and filled with terrifying sensations, like pain and not being able to breathe, but then to have some religious huckster watching you as you go? Yikes.

So when you are sharing your faith, don't hesitate to tap into a powerful evangelistic tool that is often neglected--the sinner’s will to live. He doesn’t want to die. Don't be afraid to ask him if he is afraid of dying. It can often be a relief to talk about it, because the world avoids the question.

That's just wrong, if you ask me. It wouldn't sway me in the slightest, it's not theologically sound, and it has the same element of manipulation that see in half hour infomercials at 4am. You know the ones. The ones that prey upon the fear of illness, of unattractiveness of loneliness . . . oh. Got it.

*While looking for a picture of an enormous spider to link to, I came across the question Is it true you are never more than 6' from a spider at all times? I may never sleep again.

Your Natural Habitat Does Not Involve Tile and Linoleum

I swear I can hear them laughing as I shriek and attempt to go directly from the shower to out the window while covered in nothing but soap.

Finally, Science Is Working for Me!

link

I once spent an hour staring at a spider the size of my hand while waiting for my brother-in-law to come over and kill it. Why was I staring at what could have been someone's pet tarantula for an hour? At first I screamed and ran outside, then I realized that if it moved I would have idea where the world's largest spider was, except that it was inside my house.

I swear that thing laughed at me the whole time.

Atheists Are Afraid of Bananas?

I'm an atheist, and I am afraid of heights, spiders and having my head underwater in a swimming pool (I drowned when I was 7, and that is even more unpleasant than you think it might be).

I am not, however, afraid of bananas.

The banana -- the atheist's nightmare. I did not make this up.
Note that the banana:

Is shaped for human hand what a bizarrely humancentric interpretation of the shape of a banana. (You know what else it's shaped like? Yeah, you do. And, logically, what else is shaped for the human hand? Uh-huh. It sure is. *pauses. looks around* I don't think this is going anywhere good.)

Has non-slip surface Uh-huh . . . what? So does dirt, what's your point?
Has outward indicators of inward content: Green-too early, Yellow-just right, Black-too late. Ok, now we're just stretching the point a little too far.

Why do bananas turn brown? Bananas turn brown because they contain an enzyme (called polyphenol oxidase or tyrosinase) that reacts with oxygen and iron-containing phenols that are also found in the apple. The oxidation reaction basically forms a sort of rust on the surface of the fruit. You see the browning when the fruit is cut or bruised because these actions damage the cells in the fruit, allowing oxygen in the air to react with the enzyme and other chemicals.

In other words, bananas turn brown through the same process as iron rusting or wood burning: oxygenation. Should I take rusted iron or burning wood as an outward indicator of inward content?

Has a tab for removal of wrapper Or a place where the fruit was attached to the plant it grew on. One or the other.
Is perforated on wrapper I don't even know what this is a reference to, and I eat bananas on a regular basis.

Bio-degradable wrapper you mean like every other fruit, vegetable, or wrapper made of paper?
Is shaped for human mouth BWAHAHAHAHAHA. you know what else is shaped for the human mouth? Yes, you dooooooooo!

Has a point at top for ease of entry are we still describing bananas or have we moved on to something else entirely? "ease of entry" into what? mouths open up. you don't need to push your food into . . . ok, sorry, i just couldn't maintain that . . . your mouth.

Is pleasing to taste buds for the some people. some people are repulsed by bananas. my husband find them disgusting in both taste and texture.
Is curved towards the face to make eating process

easy oh, dear anthropomorphic imaginary entity, save me! if i turn it around is it now curved away from the face to make the eating process harder? does this guy's hand not move in many directions allowing for ease of eating?

Well, are you converted yet? I'm not going to be able to eat bananas for a while, but that's all this stupidity did for me.

Sometimes I wonder if these sorts of tracts are produced by atheists as a satirical statement on the intelligence of people who hand out said tracts.