Saturday, May 8, 2010

Finally, Science Is Working for Me!

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I once spent an hour staring at a spider the size of my hand while waiting for my brother-in-law to come over and kill it. Why was I staring at what could have been someone's pet tarantula for an hour? At first I screamed and ran outside, then I realized that if it moved I would have idea where the world's largest spider was, except that it was inside my house.

I swear that thing laughed at me the whole time.

14 comments:

  1. I found a very large greebly spider in my kitchen a few weeks back.

    Photo here: I know they are completely harmless...

    ReplyDelete
  2. *************************************************************************
    how about I believe in WHATEVER I want - even in the FLYING SPAGHETTI
    MONSTER! - and you have nothing to say!
    *******************************************************************************

    let me show you the end results of this particular *ONE-DIMENSIONAL SCIENTIFIC MODE*
    of thinking that is called *CRITICAL THINKING*, which is completely divorced from
    any human objectives...

    this style has been perfected by dawkins, pz, randi and the other *NEW ATHEISTS*
    **
    THE BOOBQUAKE - 911!
    ***
    hey, atheists don't even BELIEVE IN BOOBIES!!!
    they thought BOOBIES had no effect... WRONG!

    see, I just want to make it clear to the rest of you:
    jen is unable to see that there is a CONFLICT BETWEEN EROS & SCIENCE....

    http://www.blaghag.com/2010/04/in-name-of-science-i-offer-my-boobs.html


    see how we take a term and convert it into its AUTHENTIC POLITICAL DIMENSION - THAT
    OF LIBERATION - not just merely harmless expression...

    Visit for the BOOBQUAKE:

    http://dissidentphilosophy.lifediscussion.net/philosophy-f1/the-boobquake-911-t1310.htm



    ***************************************************

    FSM....

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster


    http://i766.photobucket.com/albums/xx302/AtheismPics/fsmlogo.png

    *****************************

    DOUBLE!


    FOR THE WIN...

    *******************************************

    ReplyDelete
  3. I could never, EVER be a devotee of Jainism or any other religion that does not permit the killing of bugs. I mean, I try to get them outside rather than squish them whenever possible, but sometimes YOU'VE JUST GOT TO DO IT.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Poor spider. *weeps*

    Don’t worry, though … a large number of guys are wusses when it comes to small(-ish), harmless and easily killed critters, too. =P

    Also, that graph is Teh Truth.

    ReplyDelete
  5. joe - little headless idiot...


    see how we use jen as a poster child against atheism...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Who’s he talking to? Who’s “joe”? Joe Blow? Joe the Plumber? Sheriff Joe Arpaio?

    PS – Jen’s not here, honey. Try and find the correct blog to spam.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Atheists,


    see, you degenerates have last names like first names...


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster



    *************************************************
    how about I believe in WHATEVER I want - even in the FLYING SPAGHETTI
    MONSTER! - and you have nothing to say!
    *******************************************************************

    let me show you the end results of this particular *ONE-DIMENSIONAL SCIENTIFIC MODE*
    of thinking that is called *CRITICAL THINKING*, which is completely divorced from
    any human objectives...

    this style has been perfected by dawkins, pz, randi and the other *NEW ATHEISTS*
    **
    THE BOOBQUAKE - 911!
    ***
    hey, atheists don't even BELIEVE IN BOOBIES!!!
    they thought BOOBIES had no effect... WRONG!

    see, I just want to make it clear to the rest of you:
    jen is unable to see that there is a CONFLICT BETWEEN EROS & SCIENCE....

    http://www.blaghag.com/2010/04/in-name-of-science-i-offer-my-boobs.html

    http://www.blaghag.com/2010/04/quick-clarification-about-boobquake.html

    see how we take a term and convert it into its AUTHENTIC POLITICAL DIMENSION - THAT
    OF LIBERATION - not just merely harmless expression...

    Visit for the BOOBQUAKE:

    http://dissidentphilosophy.lifediscussion.net/philosophy-f1/the-boobquake-911-t1310.htm

    ReplyDelete
  8. Atheists,


    see, you degenerates have last names like first names...


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

    ReplyDelete
  9. Fun fact: The bigger and hairier the spider is, the more likely it'll be docile and harmless. Doesn't make him any less scary.

    I used to have to go to uni before the sun rose, when it was still pitch black. So, after getting ready I'd walk over to my car in the dark and open the door. Still half-asleep, I'd get in, and put my bag on the other seat. And then I'd switch the headlights on- HOLY SHIT GIANT HAIRY SPIDER ON THE WINDSCREEN!!!, silhouetted against the light, a few cm's away from my head. Tumble awkwardly out of car swearing, then realise it was on the outside of the windscreen anyway. Drive to train station with giant spider in centre of windscreen.

    Few months later, getting home from uni... not seen giant spider for some time, it must have got off somewhere. Check windscreen, no spider. Get in car, turn headlights on, change into reverse to back out of parking spot. Turn around to look out of rear window while reversing- AAAAARRGH IT'S ON MY HEADREST!!! Tumble awkwardly out of car swearing.

    Eventually, I drove home leaning forward, eyes wide, with it on the back of the headrest, expecting the whole time to feel it crawling up the back of my neck at any moment.

    Spiders are fun!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Whenever I find a spider in the house, I show it to my dog and make him eat it. He seems to like them.

    Survival of the fittest. Don't judge.

    ReplyDelete
  11. My dog barks at spiders. Once he licked one. He has never shown an interest in eating one. I did have a cat that would chew on bugs a little and then spit them out, but he wouldn't eat them, either.

    I get the defective pets, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  12. i don't *mind* spiders - they eat BUGS, and i am Bugaphobic.


    and we have fucking SILVERFISH. which, i contend aren't even EARTH CREATURES at ALL but rather are the scouting phase of an alien invasion.

    so, some months ago, i was arguing with my landlord about what do DO about the fucking silverfish... and Pete was out of town at a con. after the landlord left, i walked into the kitchen...


    where a LARGE spider had been *torn apart* but, i am SURE, the silverfish. a warning - "we can do this to YOU whenever we want, puny sickly disabled human"



    i bugbombed, even though the landlord didn't really WANT me to. he [according to our lease] couldn't make me not. i bombed TWICE.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You know... for those of us living in a forest in Denmark, the bugs seem an awful lot bigger than they do to you :P

    Okay, so I don't actually live IN the forest, but right next to one. But still. Our spiders are pretty bloody big. Our flies, though, are very tiny. You need to live next to a farm with cattle to get the really big fat flies.

    Yeah, tried both locations. I prefer high-rises. We get no bugs up high.

    ReplyDelete
  14. *REALLY*!?!?!


    dude, if that's true, i am *SO* going to find a high-rise to live in! [there are none here in Columbus - at least, that are available. and even those are only 10 stories, and they COST SO MUCH!) but it'd be worth it, to have no bugs...

    ReplyDelete

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