It's My Personal Supermodel Skinny

You deserve to smirk, Katie, that hair is everything I cannot be.

Being overly thin myself (though lately I seem to be holding on to some weight, which is good), I don't have much of a reaction to pictures of supermodels and superthin actresses. I certainly don't even begin to have the "OMG! Why don't I look that way? Am I expected to look that way? AH!" reaction that is pretty common to women of our culture.

I have that reaction to long hair.

I just can't grow my hair much past chin length. My hair is fine to begin with and length just makes it even flatter. It gets damaged easily and anything past my chin tends to be a fried mess. And my hair just doesn't grow much past the middle of my neck anyway.

I've tried everything. Vitamins for hair growth. (Yes, they sell those.) Shampoo and conditioner for hair growth. Massaging my scalp, special brushes . . . If some advertiser says "increases hair growth!" I'll buy it. I desperately want extensions, but they're expensive, even the clipon ones.

See the picture of me as Jenka in my profile? I go home and put that wig on and flounce around with long, white hair and feel beautiful. It's pathetic, I know.

The truth is, I'm never going to have long hair. Long hair looks bad on me for a variety of reasons and it's just not happening. But every time I see a model or actress or woman on the street with long, thick, flowing hair I feel that much less attractive, that much less sexy.

So you can imagine how I felt about this:

I'm warning you right now -- I'm about to make a sweeping generalization, and I am fully preparing myself for a reasonably hostile response.

Most guys prefer women with longer hair.

Oh, okay. I'm ugly. I will go hide in a closet now. But don't worry, he's got prooflike things to back this up. Factish, even.

But if most guys don't like short hair on women, then why do so many women cut their hair short? I can't say for sure, but I have a few ideas. Some women simply don't want to bother with caring for long hair. Others get bored with their hairstyle after a while and long for a change, any change. Still others see a short haircut they like on some other woman and decide to try it for themselves.

It's weird. It's almost like the hair is on my head and I'm not doing this for you.

Have you ever noticed the reaction to this? When the newly shorn girl first appears at school or at work, other women tend to gather round and compliment her, usually telling her how cute she looks with her new "do." The men, meanwhile, usually look up only long enough to remark: "Sure, looks nice." Or they simply smile and say nothing. To be brutally honest, some guys barely even notice.

This has nothing to do with hair and whether or not men like your hair. First of all, politeness alone demands that you compliment someone on their new haircut, and if you don't like it, you keep that to yourself. Secondly, men aren't socialized the same as women. Women are socialized to notice and talk about these sorts of thing, men are socialized that only gay guys notice and talk about these sorts of things. Thirdly, especially in a work environment, commenting upon a woman's physical appearance with any more specificity than "You look nice" can be very unprofessional. And creepy.

The point is that women with short haircuts are affirmed almost exclusively by ... other women. Ask their husbands or boyfriends, and most will admit -- though rarely to the woman's face -- that they kinda liked it better when her hair wasn't so short.

Did you do any kind of survey? Anything sciencey at all, or is this just what you assume men are thinking because you think it?

Let me quote a relationship columnist far more knowledgeable than myself -- one Candice Watters, author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen:

"Yes, my heart and character is a key part of what attracted Steve, but I'd be omitting half the story if I didn't also say that as I grew my severe, short and sassy haircut out to a more feminine length, he began to find me more attractive."

Can I tell you how nuts that drives me? We have no idea what Ms. Watters looked like with short hair. Perhaps her particular haircut was unflattering to her. Perhaps a different short haircut would have been more flattering. Perhaps her face shape/features are best served by longer hair. We don't know, we're just left with the impression that had she not grown out her hair, she would have been single forever. AH!

Of course, this concept pertains to men, too. A guy who sports a two-foot-long beard or is covered in tattoos certainly might appeal to some women, but probably not the majority of the female population.

Oh, I see, if I want to be attractive, I should look just like everyone else. Except that I don't know anyone with long hair in real life. No, wait, one person and I'm pretty sure those are extensions. So, I should look like every model/actress?

I'll just sit over hear in a corner and weep.

pic link