Prolifers Think Women are Pretty F'ing Stupid

You already knew that, right? They don't trust you, an adult, to decide what is right for you, in your circumstances. They know better than you what to do with your body. They know better than you the circumstances of your life. They know better than you how you feel and what you can handle.

But this is the outside of enough (in support of laws that require women to view sonograms):

Imagine, for a second, that you are going in for surgery to have your appendix removed, and nobody actually says the word "appendix" or mentions that the goal is to take it out of you; instead, the whole thing is so wrapped in euphemism that you can't quite tell what it is the doctors plan to remove, or why. Would someone choosing an appendectomy under those circumstances really be making a free choice? Why, then, do we insist that the only way a woman can make a free choice to have an abortion is if we never actually talk about what she's having removed and killed?

Do you really think that women having abortions have no idea what's going on? They just heard about this new craze and thought they'd give it a try? Have you ever had an abortion, Red Cardigan? I have. Trust me, there is no way you could get an abortion without knowing exactly what they're doing. They describe it in detail, using real medical termino- oh. I see. They use words like "fetus" and "embryo" and you think those words are synonyms for "baby". And you think that if those poor, ignorant women just hear someone say "baby", all of a sudden their entire lives will be completely different and they will have money and support and health and everything will be okay and rainbows and unicorns will shoot out their vaginas and . . . um, yeah.

Okay, Red Cardigan, you are a woman, and you are pretty f'ing stupid. The rest of us, not so much.

after all, pregnancy only lasts nine months, but abortion is forever.

Proving once again the fetus fetishists don't give a shit about the baby once it's born. Here's a clue, RC, pregnancy may only last nine months, but the child? That's forever, too. It's forever either way, you just get to pick which forever is best for you. And don't talk to me about adoption. That's just delaying the forever for 18 years. Once that kid turns 18, they'll be at your door wanting answers, answers you may not be able to give.

You Do Understand They Become People Eventually, Right?

Have I ever introduced you to the Seppis? They are freakin' nuts. Fundamentalist isn't even the word. The Pope looks like a raving liberal next to them. Their big thing is abortion and here are their tips for preventing abortions (no, they do not include comprehensive sex ed and universal access to free birth control):

I was getting impatient, “We need some turnarounds! There hasn't been a baby saved in the last hour,” I thought, so walked as close to the door as legal, cupped my hands around my mouth and started yelling, “A mother bear fights for her cubs, she fights for their life, yet some humans kill their own baby! We (humans) are worse the than animals! Children are a gift from God!” Soon a hispanic lady came out crying and left with her husband walking beside her. Then another walked out.

First of all, any number of animals eat their young, including bears, so I'm not sure that's the best argument to be making, secondly, animals also don't use computers or drive cars, should we take all our cues from the birds and the bees?

Our friend Terri asks for the brown skin model with an English language fetal development card. The brown baby is good, because it is perfect for all nationalities and makes them feel like they are looking at their baby. It even feels like a baby with a silicone body. This is perfect to give a child accompanying his abortion escort mommy.

First of all, how many people bring their children along for an afternoon of abortion escorting? Secondly, you do not give other people's children presents without their parents' permission. Unless you would like me to start handing your children condoms? Yeah, I didn't think so.

If you or a friend of yours can speak Spanish and will go with you, that is really good, especially if you live in Mexifornia where I live. Many of the girls that come are hispanic or black and some white. But the Mexican immigrants are the easiest to convince to keep their baby because they come from Roman Catholic backgrounds and are more humble. They love to hear their mother tongue, but usually can understand English.

"Mexifornia"? O_o So, your hatred for nonwhites starts outside of the womb? Save the little wetback fetuses- and then spit on them once they're born, I guess.

I often start with, “Could I adopt your baby?” or “I have three friends who cannot have children. Could they adopt your baby?”

Now that is outrageous. She has no intention of adopting said baby and she does not know three infertile people. You know how I know this? Because she's suggesting this as a general strategy. Generally speaking, not every fetus fetishist can adopt, nor do they all have three friends who can and need to adopt. This is a manipulative, vile lie.

You know what I think? I think these people are like the asshats who are so excited about getting a puppy, without ever considering that you have a puppy for a few months, and after that a dog for at least a decade. Once the fetus is done incubating, it becomes a baby. A baby who needs to be fed and sheltered and clothed and diapered and educated and raised. Dinah Seppi has no intention of doing that, nor does she care that any of that needs to be done. All she cares about is stopping an abortion. The baby and the mother can go fuck off after that.

And Dinah doesn't care. She just wants to delay the abortion until it's too late to get one, and after that, it's the mother's problem. That mother and baby both could starve to death two feet away from Dinah and she wouldn't care. As long as there wasn't an abortion, Dinah won!

Even so, can you imagine giving your baby to the person you met while they were protesting at an abortion provider- with their children? Oh, you seem like a fine parent, I'm sure your friends are excellent parents, too.

At our clinic we yell at the top of our lungs and people can hear us clearly from the inside. We know because they have told us.

You can only stand on the public side walk, not the abortion property. You can say what ever you want as loud as you want. It is your right under God. If the security guard asks you something personal such as your name or where you live, you have the right not to answer. You do not have to say anything or you can say, “I take the fifth,” or “That is private."

So, women's health care, not private. Dinah's name, private. Good to know.

There you have it, the vile tactics of the fetish fetishist. Who never spends one moment for preventing pregnancies or improving the economy or helping women who already have babies, because shouting on sidewalks, that works. Or, it's something that she likes to do.

Go Ahead and Have The Baby- but Don't Bring It to Church or Anything

The Fetus Fetishists (I'd call them prolifers, but, um, they're not) are forever telling women to have every baby they get pregnant with, no matter what. Not just telling, either, but passing every law they can mange to ensure that all pregnancies result in babies. Are you too poor to support a baby? Too bad, have it. Are you in an abusive relationship? Too bad, baby time. Are you too sick to have a baby? Die giving birth, bitch. Does the baby have a disability incompatible with life, or that would result in a need for medical interventions you can't afford? Deal with it. Is it the result of a rape? Won't that be fun, raising your rapist's baby.

The thing is, and the reason I won't call them prolife, is that once the baby stops being a fetus and is out in the world crying and making trouble and needing food and stuff, they don't want to be bothered, as evidenced by this screed:

Your precious sweet baby was the focus of attention today. I guess you
didn't notice. There you were, Dad, Mom, and sweet baby sitting in the front row.

The way she says and repeats "precious" makes me think she was replacing a word she wouldn't be allowed to use on that forum. Seriously, replace "precious" with "fucking" and watch the tone change not one bit.

It was time for the service to begin. Pastor introduced the very special guest speaker. He was a Jewish man who had studied for the Priesthood before becoming a Christian. He traveled three thousand miles to be with us on Palm Sunday. Later in the evening we would have the opportunity to sit down to a Seder dinner, with him teaching the meaning of the meal.

As he began to speak, you could tell, this was going to be an interesting and powerful message. He barely got started when your baby began making noise. True, precious baby wasn't crying; no, she was only talking, loudly.

So . . . doing what babies do, in other words.

Some minutes into the guest speaker's message, baby talks more and more. Interrupting and causing the speaker to lose his train of thought.

You know what? If you can't give your speech except in complete silence, don't give speeches. You aren't good at it. This is a baby being a baby. Calm the fuck down.

By now, I'm having a difficult time listening to the speaker, my thoughts are
directed to precious baby and Mom and Dad. Frustration sets in, and so now I'm thinking thoughts that are far away from Whom I came to hear about. Jesus. I'm thinking, please take your child out of here. You are being rude Mom and Dad, you are being rude to everyone in the room, but especially to the guest speaker.

You had a baby! And brought it into public! It's rude! Yes, I want you to have 12 babies each, which I am trying to ensure by making birth control and abortion illegal, but I don't want to actually see or hear those babies.

I can see that your own attention is on baby, not on the message. You are sitting in the front row, dealing with a noisy baby, not hearing the speaker, and subjecting us all to this.

Subjecting us all to a baby.

I began squirming in my seat, I'm unable to concentrate on the speaker. By now the speaker is having even more trouble concentrating on his message. Finally, the speaker can't take it anymore and asks you to leave, you force him to, in front of everyone.

The speaker's quite the rude little bastard, isn't he? Would you go back to that church? "Choose life!- and once you do, I will publicly humiliate you for that life being lively."

Everyone's attention is on you and only you. We watch you gather your things and walk to the back of the building and we hear the door close behind you. You chose not to go to the crying room. The special room built and equipped just for you, so that you can watch a live feed while attending to your precious noisy baby. You chose to show your displeasure by leaving the church entirely.

Shocking.

It is now halfway thru the hour. The speaker is standing up front feeling horrible. We his audience, are feeling very sorry for him. And embarrassed.

Sorry for him, huh? Well, he is bad at public speaking. I guess that is a bit embarrassing.

You Mom and Dad, deprived one hundred people of a powerful Palm Sunday message because you chose to sit in the front row with your precious noisy baby. Your noisy baby is simply impossible to ignore.

Darn right. That's why some of us choose not to have babies, you see.

I really thought this crowd would castigate the poster for such an antibaby message, but they don't.

Reality check: I come from a large Italian family, as does my husband. Between our two families, there are always babies and small children. We include them in everything: weddings, funerals, birthdays, whatever. If we're getting together, there will be babies. And you know what? Babies cry, toddlers talk loudly and run around and that's okay. We're not totally out of control at restaurants, but we've enjoyed weddings in which the background music was a wailing baby and nobody cared. That's what babies do. At one funeral, an 18 month old showed off her jumping skills during the eulogy. Whatever, the dead person loved children, what better way to celebrate their life than to let a toddler jump a bit?

So that's where I'm coming from. I'm atheist, prochoice and happily childless and entirely probaby and pro children being children. The uberright, christian fetus fetishists, not so much.

My aunt accused me of being a "Bridezilla" because I refused to allow the pastor's toddler to attend. I had seen too many weddings with a crying infant/toddler.

We had the wedding at 7 PM... and I just knew "But she's such a perfect little angel' would start acting up. She was 18 months.

We had a lovely wedding, small and quiet.

Children: not for weddings.

Sometimes parents just think that their kids are just too cute to be aggravating, but we all know better don't we? This was uncalled for and I agree with you. I feel absolutely terrible for the speaker and for the congregation. If the parents walked out of the church instead of going to the crying room, that was their selfish decision. What they did was not the way of God's children. This was a sad chain of events in which many people suffered. Sad! :-(

Selfish! So selfish! You must have your babies- and be exiled to the crying room. But babies, have them, just not around us, we don't really like them.

I have a very selfish SIL who refused to miss one moment of my daughter's wedding, even though she had a fussy, crying baby. I was never irritated with the baby because she was doing what babies are supposed to do. But I was highly annoyed with the baby's mother who always puts herself and her own interests first. My only daughter was having her only wedding and the gorom, an only son, was having his only wedding. Unfortunately, we missed much of the ceremony due to my SIL's selfishness. I will never understand why people refuse to be more thoughtful. Parents shouldn't have to be told that their sweet, precious babies are creating a disturbance and a distraction when they are making noise in situations like this. I'm sorry that, due to their own self centeredness, the parents were offended and I'm sorry that the speaker and the audience were all so distracted.

Only one wedding and a baby cried! Oh noes! At the Wedding O' the Century last year, the ringbearer was 2 years old. He made it all the way to the special vows and then threw down the pillow with the rings on it and declared, "I'm bored. I want SpongeBob!"

We could have gasped in horror. The bride could have cried over her wedding being ruined, and then it would have been. Instead, she laughed, picked up the pillow and told him to see if he could find a frog in the rocks (it was an outdoor wedding). It was a cute moment and so much more memorable than a "perfect" wedding- just like every other "perfect" wedding I have seen and can't remember one thing about.

One person does point out that Jesus had something to say about children:

There's no denying that these parents should have taken their baby out of the sanctuary. However, I don't believe that Jesus, who gently admonished that we suffer little children unto him, would have handled the situation in the same way.

But no, this doesn't mean that Jesus wanted children around, he was just getting rid of some overenthusiastic baby lover as quickly as possible. (What kind of freak likes a baby once it's born?)

If this is the scripture that you're referring to Matthew 19:13 & Matthew 19:14 I understand this to mean that parents wanted Jesus to pray for their children and so he did.

I love this:

Still there are some parents who think it is a good thing to have their kids with them through the service to the detriment of others because their kids often get bored and will do what kids know best and that is to make nosie to entertain themselves. Some even break free and run around the pews. It is these serial offenders that get me upset. Fortunately the new minister isn't a softy buy speaks to the parents(privately) and asks them to go with their children to the child care area next time. In the end if they ignore the minister's request they are asked to not come into the service at all but stay outside in a area outside where the sermon is broadcast on speakers.

It's parenthood as a contagion. Stay outside and listen to the broadcast, you parent, you.

Prolife: It has nothing to do with loving babies. Nothing at all.

I Know How to Disappear

This is actually a picture of a woman, but she's pregnant, so through the lens of misogyny, all you can see is the fetus. (Toe rays are always carefully marked in utero.)

No, I am not a wizard, I am a woman. If I want to disappear, all I have to do is get pregnant.

It's true. As soon as I get pregnant, my needs and wants will be ignored in favor of the needs and wants of a group of undifferentiated, rapidly dividing cells. (Some people call this is a baby.) I can return to my previous state of visibility by having an abortion, but it won't have been my decision, because pregnant women, not being people at all, don't make choices.

Think about it. What is the "abortion industry" doing to women? That's the framing of this entire article, and article I couldn't even read all the way through because my brain, in a desire not to die a horrible death, starting rendering it as wharrrgarble after the first few paragraphs.

What is the "abortion industry" doing to women. Doing to women. To women.

Keep in mind, no woman randomly comes into contact with an abortion, ever. It's not like incidentally viewing sexual material on the cover of a magazine at the grocery store. That's certainly possible. It's not random "bless you!s" contacts with religion. There is, literally, no way for a woman to, without choice and purpose, have an abortion. You have to want an abortion to get an abortion. You have to decide you want an abortion, you have to find where to get an abortion, you have to pay for the abortion, you have to get to the facility, you have to wait for your appointment, you have to take off your clothes and put your feet in the stirrups.

None of this is done to anyone.

Prolifers have made abortions as difficult to get as possible. They have enacted waiting periods, ultrasound viewing requirements, limits on when in the pregnancy you can have one, facility requirements well above what is required for other, similarly simple procedures, and, oh yeah, with all the protesting, bombings and murders, there are very few doctors even willing to perform abortions.

It's not like you can walk across the street to your neighborhood abortion provider two weeks before your due date and receive a free abortion five minutes later. You have to jump through hoop after hoop- and hope that nobody ever finds out you got one, because, well, you're a murderer. And a slut. A murdering slut.

Abortions are provided for women, women who choose them and want them so badly they are willing to jump through any number of hoops and risk the personal fallout of being discovered to get them.

Women are people. We make choices. We continue to be people and make choices even after we get pregnant. Stop infantilizing us. Stop making us invisible. We're right here, you should be able to see us.

In Which I Make Ridiculous Assumptions About Things Instead of Learning the Truth

I have this awesome blog on my blogroll written by the Boganette. She's great, but that's not my point. Prior to seeing her blog, I had never come across the words "bogan" or "boganette" before. So I asked her what it meant. (It's the New Zealand equivalent of America's white trash.) Apparently, what I did was wrong. Instead, I should have just made up some meaning for those words that furthered whatever political goals, othering or general hatefulness I need to fulfill, thusly:

I think the fear of babies, the fear that leads to women gulping contraceptive chemicals like candy regardless of what these things may do to their bodies, that leads men to abandoning pregnant girlfriends or wives, that leaves to both men and women fearing and hating each other's reproductive ability even within the context of a loving marriage, and drives some people to the abortion clinic, is rooted in a truly deep and ugly fear: the fear of having to give up one's own carefully structured selfishness and, with it, the desire to remain a child.

You know, you could simply ask people why they . . . gulp contraceptive chemicals like candy? I have no idea how you eat candy, Erin, but I don't swallow one tiny little piece of candy at the exact same time each night (within 1 hour). I has a sad nao considering Erin's candy paucity. I guess I'd be a hateful, arrogant asshat if that were my only interaction with candy. Shall we take up a collection to send Erin a large shipment of Cadbury Minieggs complete with proper candy eating instructions (hey, as much as you want, whenever you want)?

While it is true that I am somewhat fearful of getting pregnant, I don't hate my husband's testes, nor do I think he hates my uterus. Really, what an odd world Erin inhabits.

Ah, and my "carefully structured selfishness". Is that what we're calling poverty these days? You know, Erin, you could go to imnotsorry and find stories about abortion written by women who have abortions and I'll tell you something, you arrogant twit, "I didn't want to give up my carefully structured selfishness" isn't in it. You know what is in it? Poverty, abuse, poverty, poverty, poverty and, let's be honest, if a person says they would not be a good parent, let's just assume they know themselves better than we know them.

The rest of the post descends into something that really pisses me off: you're not really a grown up until you spawn children of your own.

A. You should be* a mature, responsible person before you inflict yourself on a helpless infant. BEFORE.

B. Having children does not make one a mature, responsible person. Some people rise to the occasion, some people do not.

C. Not having children has nothing to do with maturity, either. Some people without children are mature and responsible, some people without children are not.

In other words, the qualities we associate with adulthood, such as responsibility and maturity, are independent of reproduction. Having children will not magically turn you into a person you are not, stop lying about it. Seriously, think of the children, born to people who don't want them and can't care for them. Let's not encourage more of that, okay?

And the next time you want to know why people use birth control or don't have children, ask them. It's that simple.

*Yes, I know we don't live in a perfect world, but I'm pro free birth control for everyone, which would be a big step.

Let's Shelve the Abortion Debate Until We Can Fix the Child Welfare System

Juxtapositions are killing me lately. Abortion is bad! Birth control is bad! Children are a blessing, don't even think about not having them! and at the same time, yet another child failed by the child welfare system. Again and again and afuckinggain until I feel like grabbing prolifers by the ears and shaking them while screaming, "Not everyone should have children! Abortion is not worse than a child beaten and starved and raped and killed with pesticides! That is not better!"

I am not going to beat up on the people that comprise the child welfare system in this country. My friend Marzie is a part of it and through her I have gotten the tiniest sense of how difficult that job is. Enough sense to know that I would last a week before throwing myself off a bridge. Superman is nothing compared to Marzie in my eyes, I really don't know how she does it.

The system is broken. It breaks the people within it, from the judges to the GALs to the case workers to the children it is meant to protect. And I don't know any better than anyone else how to fix it.

Well, I do, in a way. The child welfare system is filled with unwanted children. That's how they end up in the system. Their parents didn't want them in the first place, so they abandon them, or neglect them, or abuse them. The fact of the matter is, you can force people to have children, by denying people access to birth control and abortion, but you can't force those people to want those children, nor can you force them to treat those children well. So you take the children away and put them in the care of someone else, and hope those people don't abuse them. You hope that the abuse and neglect didn't damage them permanently and you hope that love and therapy will be enough to prevent an endless cycle of unwanted pregnancies and abused children. It often is not.

The abortion debate, well, the prolife side anyway, ignores something important about pregnancy: it results in a child that has to be cared for. And the people demanding forced pregnancies aren't the ones caring for the children, now are they? And they aren't the ones being neglected and abused.

But wait! Adoption! It solves all problems! First of all, adoption is fraught with difficulties, both social* and emotional, and anyway, the Barahona children were adopted. Adoptive parents neglect and abuse their children, too. It's no guarantee.

So you know what? Let's not even consider reversing Roe v. Wade right now and come back to it after we've worked something out for all the unwanted children we already have. I don't think dumping millions more unwanted children into the system is really the way to address that, do you?

*I couldn't possibly afford a child right now, but I can also guarantee you that no one I work with and no one in my family would accept me putting a child up for adoption. Social pariah would be the best I could hope for.

Sucks to Be You!

LifeSiteNews is being sued for $500,000, isn't that tragic? (h/t to [redacted] for the heads up)

It is with great concern that we have to inform our readers that LifeSiteNews (LSN) Canada has been hit with a lawsuit – by a Catholic priest of all things!

Um, "things"? I'm fairly certain even Catholic priests are people.

Regular readers of LSN will need no introduction to Fr. Raymond Gravel – he’s the Quebec priest and former Member of Canada’s Parliament who, as we reported, said on a radio interview in 2004: “I am pro-choice and there is not a bishop on earth that will prevent me from receiving Communion, not even the Pope.”

I like this guy!

Then, in 2008, he defended the awarding of Canada’s highest civilian award to the country’s ‘father of abortion’ – arch-abortionist Henry Morgentaler!

"Arch-abortionist?" I think DC Comics just found its new villain! Henry Morgentaler, btw, is a doctor who has spent his career fighting for the right of women to have safe, legal abortions. That will be one boring comic.

During his political career he was rated as ‘pro-abortion’ by the political arm of the pro-life movement.

I'm surprised they didn't rate him "murderer".

He has also repeatedly and publicly criticized his church’s teachings on homosexuality and abortion.

And . . .? So have I. Of course, I'm not a priest, but still, publicly criticizing the RCC for their teachings on homosexuality and abortion isn't unusual in this day and age, and he's hardly the first priest to do so.

Even though LifeSiteNews reports have overwhelmingly reported on what Fr. Gravel himself has publicly said,

out of context, I guarantee you. That's pretty much all LSN does.

he is suing us for libel. Among other things, he argues that he isn’t pro-abortion, but he has said in the past that he is “pro-choice.”

Oh, I see. So you lied in a way that could do damage to Fr. Gravel's career (the definition of libel) and now you're all surprised he's doing something about it. You poor things.

He’s demanding $500,000 in damages – which, coincidentally, is a full year’s budget for us. That would put LifeSiteNews out of business!

Watch me while I weep. Or not.

At LSN we are completely dependent upon Divine Providence; we usually have just enough in our bank account to get by until our next quarterly fundraiser (if even!). We simply have no money to spend on potentially crippling legal fees.

So let me get this straight. God provides your operating budget, but not your legal fees? Interesting. I guess God's funding is like the WIC program, only good for very specific items.

This lawsuit also comes at the same time that attacks on the free speech rights of pro-life, pro-family and Christian citizens and media have been increasing all across the West.

I don't know what free speech rights are like in Canada, but lying does not come under the heading of free speech anywhere.

It is vitally important that LifeSiteNews win this case – not just for our sake, but for the sake of the whole movement. We simply cannot let the opponents of life and family shut down one of the few media voices that upholds the right to life and the sanctity of marriage and the family.

Gee, I thought LSN was a two bit internet site dependent entirely on lies, inflammatory interpretations and vicious misogyny. I had no idea that without them, my family will simply disappear.

The very fact that Fr. Gravel feels he has to sue LSN is proof-positive of just how much LSN is needed. Writing about LifeSiteNews.com in Le Devoir on April 20, 2009, Fr. Gravel said that when his bishop received a letter from the Vatican “which forced me to retire from political life,” attached to the letter “was a file almost exclusively in English made up of negative comments about me … which came from those ultra-conservative media.” He even complained about LifeSiteNews during a speech on the floor of the House of Commons!

Oh, I see. Wrong doing is proof of the need for wrong doing.

Despite the fact that LSN has made it clear that we wish no harm to Fr. Gravel, and that, in fact, we are concerned for his wellbeing, he has launched a suit that could severely, even permanently disrupt our life- and culture-saving work.

We care so much we ruined his life, but only to preserve misogyny and bigotry. It's a higher calling.

Already our staff have had to dedicate several full days’ work just to responding to his charges – and that’s before the case has even really begun. The first preliminary hearing is this Thursday in Joliette, Quebec.

Oh, poor LSN staff, having to do actual work instead of making shit up and defaming people.

At this difficult time, we must once again turn to our ever-faithful supporters. The only way we can withstand this attack is with your help.

We are confident about the truthfulness and professionalism of our reporting on this matter and are determined to fight and win against this unjust lawsuit. Will you join us?

Will you also appeal to others that you know to help us at this time of extra special need?

No. I will giggle when the good Father drains your bank accounts and attaches liens on your homes, if that's any consolation. Reap what you sow, motherfuckers, reap what you sow.

If It's not in Your Uterus, You Don't Get Decision Making Powers

I have heard this argument* (though not so chock full of "execution" and "murder") in real life: Men should have as much say in the decision whether or not to abort as women do. After all, it's half their kid, right?

Bullshit. Bullfuckingshit**.

You know why men don't get say in the decision to have an abortion (unless the woman wants to give him say, the law doesn't)? Because it's not his body that will be in use for the gestation and delivery, that's why. I would actually have no problem with the man having veto power if we were able to then transfer the fetus from the woman's body to his body. If we had that ability, I'd be totally okay with men being able to decide whether or not a woman has an abortion. I also guarantee that not too many men would be voicing opinions once we got that technology.

Look at it this way. You have a choice, right now, to decide whether or not to donate a kidney to a person with End Stage Renal Disease. Right now. Kidneys don't have to match on too many factors, and there are so many people with ESRD I could almost guarantee you that someone needs one of your kidneys. I don't think you're selfish for not doing so. There are a lot of good reasons not to. However, I'm sure if we left the decision up to someone else, say that dying person's husband or daughter, the decision would be a little different.

So, no, until it is the man's body that will be used for the gestational adventure, he has no say.

Note: It's not that Forever in Hell has become an All Abortion, All the Damn Time! blog, it's that the anniversary of Roe v. Wade was Sunday, so my google reader is chock full of obnoxious prolife posts. Also, January tends to be a dead zone in atheist bashing. It doesn't really pick up until a few weeks before Easter.

*Related to today's post here.

**You know what I don't get? Why are words like "fuck" and "bullshit" shocking and the sign of a lazy mind, but using words like "execution" and "murder" 73,000 times in one post is totally okay and civilized? It's like parents who are totally okay with their kid seeing unlimited violence in a movie, but one nipple requires the intervention of Congress.

A Modest Proposal (Hell's Remix)

[trigger warning: infertility. enjoy this happy otter instead.]

The 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade and the arrest of a butcher in Philadelphia have caused quite the uptick in articles regarding abortion, which explains why I have seen this argument against abortion several times in the last week: There are infertile women* who desperately want a baby, how dare you have an abortion.

First of all, it's the pregnancy equivalent of starving children in China ("fine, send my food to them"), and just as asinine. I doubt any of these people would suggest that starving people in their neighborhood be allowed to enter their homes without permission and take whatever they want out of their pantries, would they? Um, no. I also sincerely doubt any of these people would support a measure to take organs from people without permission to give them to those dying of organ failure. "What? You have two working kidneys, you only need one. She doesn't have any, don't be selfish."

However, perhaps these prolifers have a point. It's so unfair that some women have unwanted pregnancies while others can't have wanted pregnancies**. But it's not enough to outlaw abortion. After all, most women who go through with an unwanted pregnancy don't give the resulting child up for adoption, they keep it and raise it themselves. That doesn't help infertile people. And prolifers are all about helping the infertile.

So here's my modest proposal: Every five years, we figure out exactly how many infertile people there are in the US who desire children. Currently, that's 7.3 million women***. That's a lot of people, but don't worry, there are (as of 2000) 23 million women between the ages of 20 and 34- prime childbearing (yet adult) years, which means there are (subtracting the infertile total from the general total. rough, I know.) 15.7 million women who are fully capable of providing children for the infertile.

Those 15.7 million women are being terribly selfish by not voluntarily getting pregnant with a child solely for the purposes of giving said child to an infertile woman, and that needs to end. So, every 5 years, we'll have a lottery. 7.3 million fertile women of prime child bearing age will be required to immediately get pregnant, have the baby and give it to an infertile women. Some women may have to do this twice, as prime childbearing yet adult years span 14 years, but don't worry, it's only fair.

No, these women will not be compensated for their trouble. I've never heard of anyone invoking infertility as an argument against abortion state that women with unwanted pregnancies should be compensated for their efforts, so it will be up to you if you are chosen in the lottery. Don't complain, as the possessor of a working reproductive system, it's only your duty.

*I do appreciate the pain of infertility. In fact, I think infertility treatments should be covered by insurance in the US at least to the level infertility treatments are covered in the UK. I am not in any way mocking the pain of infertility, merely the argument that one person's infertility justifies taking away the bodily autonomy of another person.

**Terribly unfair, in fact, however two wrongs don't make a right.

***I have no idea why I can only find this statistic for women. I guess men are never infertile.

Are You Suffering from Post Abortion Stress?

Yeah, this isn't stressful.

Okay, fine. It's 2011, I'm done being afraid.

I had an abortion.

I was 20. My father had left, and I had dropped out of college to work two jobs to help my mother keep her house and buy medications for her and my sister. Not the time for a baby.

I don't regret it. At all. I love children, but I've never wanted children of my own. Then was certainly not the time. As for adoption, I was barely eating at that point (No, mom, I'm not hungry, don't worry about it, buy Sissy's inhaler . . .). I certainly couldn't afford to take time off- unpaid- to give birth.

I do occasionally wonder about what my life would have been like had I chosen differently. Just the other day, I looked around at all the high school kids on the bus and realized I would have been on that bus with a 15 year old, my 15 year old. It wasn't regret, though. It was more like realizing that some now famous actor was in a show you like when you were a kid. "Oh, weird."

Life is like that. You make choices. Those choices preclude other choices, and eventually you are left wondering what could have been, not with regret, but with curiosity. What if I hadn't married him? What if I had tried to make the band work instead of going to college? What if, what if, what if? If you've made it to 35 without a few what ifs, you haven't made any choices at all.

Anyway, you can see where I'm coming from when I read about Post Abortion Stress.

If you have had an abortion(s), you may be suffering from post-abortion stress. Answering the following questions can help you figure out how the abortion(s) may have effected your life.

Do you feel nervous or anxious at the idea of telling a loved one about your abortion? Is your abortion a secret that is holding you back from greater intimacy with others?

I'm sorry, where do these people live? Mars? Certainly not the United States. In the US, abortion providers are murdered, abortion clinics are picketed every day and a million different blogs call me a murderer and worse- and I'm supposed to be comfortable telling anyone I had an abortion? I'm not comfortable telling you under a pseudonym. I've wrestled with it for years. But that's a symptom of a pseudo-psychiatric condition caused by abortion.

Fuck off.

It's my business, not yours. There is no reason for anyone to know that I've had an abortion. It's no more your business than what brand of tampon I use. I don't even tell gynecologists that I've had an abortion. Why? Because I have no way of knowing if the gynecologist, or her staff, is prolife, and I'd rather not find that out when my feet are in the stirrups- or after the receptionist tells everyone about it. These things happen.

But that's not stressful.

When you do choose to share your abortion experience with others, are you overcome with strong feelings such as anger, sorrow, grief, or guilt?

Do you have trouble talking about the abortion issue as a political issue? When you do talk about it, do you find it hard to respect opposing views, or do you becoming overly emotional, either in support of or opposition to it?

Who the fuck is calm about abortion in the US? See that picture above? That was one of the nicest pictures I could find. The vast majority included bloodied baby dolls and words I won't reprint here. Prolifers call me a murderer and then wonder why I might get a touch worked up when discussing abortion.

Seriously, fuck off.

Do you tend to look at life in terms of "before" and "after" the abortion(s)?

Sure. I also look at life in terms of before and after college, before and after my father left, and before and after I got married.

Have you experienced "reconnectors" to your abortion, such as nightmares, flashbacks, or hallucinations, such as hearing a baby cry?

Where on earth are these people having abortions, 1647, perhaps, or in the midst of a battle in Vietnam? Here's a quick description of a surgical abortion: it's just like a regular gynecological exam, except it hurts more, though no more than bad cramping with your period. It takes less than five minutes. It neither sounds nor feels like much, and they give you Valium anyway, so you're a little drowsy and out of it. An abortion is a medical procedure, not a tour of duty.

Was there a period after your abortion when you experienced an increase in the use of alcohol or drugs (illegal or prescription)? Have you experienced other forms of emotional deadening?

Have you experienced any suicidal thoughts? Do you take risks that put your life in danger? Do you try to hurt yourself? Have you developed any eating disorders?

There are no other possible explanations for mental illness or addictive behaviors once you've had an abortion! It's all about the uterus with women, after all. (There are 12 questions like this.)

Have you lost your faith? Have you lost a sense of God's peace? Do you think God still loves you? Are you afraid of God? Have your rejected belief in God for emotional reasons rather than thoughtful reasons?

Wow. That would be odd. I mean all those prolifers telling us how terrible abortions are and calling us murderers, it would be so strange for a woman to feel that God hated her if she had an abortion. Inexplicable, even.

Again and again and again, fuck off.

Dispatches from the Unborn

h/t to Cynical Nymph who made my head asplode with one simple email.

Have you ever wanted to read a book written from the perspective of a fetus? If so, I have some medication for you! And also, Umbert the Unborn.

The unborn child finally has a voice of his own! Gary Cangemi is the creative genius who has given "unbirth" to the world's first syndicated pro-life, prenatal cartoon baby. These cartoons proclaim the message of life. Each page also contains an "Umbert's Facts of Life" message, as well as cartoon pictures showing the growth development of a baby. Makes a great gift for an expectant mother or any of your pro-life (or maybe even your anti-life) friends.

Yes, it's the perfect gift for children, pregnant women, Satan and Cthulu!

But wait, there's more! Umbert has friends, such as Vita the Viable:

Umbert's friend, confidant, and chat womb partner, the tiny but assertive Vita tries to connect and bond with her struggling single mom and assure her that they can make it together.

I wonder if they are livin' on a prayer? Are they perhaps halfway there?

Then there's Fredo the Frozen, a mere collection of cells capable of pondering the future (which really makes me feel guilty about killing those bacteria in my kidneys.):

Living on a tiny ice floe in a fertility lab, Fredo the frozen embryo ponders an uncertain future, questions the boundaries of modern science, and dreams of hot chocolate and the warmth of a mother's womb.

Wow. That's a lot of pondering for a blastocyst.

Dr. Dubious and Dwight (who really needs to be ringing a bell at a French cathedral) are the ones depriving Fredo of hot chocolate:

It's science run amok as resident mad Doctor Dubious and his "henchperson," Dwight, concoct their own brand of modern science unfettered by ethical issues.

Modern science unfettered by ethical issues, unlike previous science with its ethical leeches and bloodletting.

2B and Not2B, apparently named via Twitter, are aliens:

2B and Not 2B, isn't a question, they are two unborn alien babies from the Planet Paranoid where natural parenting is banned in favor of cloning, giving Umbert a first-hand look at what Earth science has planned for OUR future.

Ahem. AREN'T. They AREN'T a question. also, somebody doesn't understand what cloning is, or what parenting is, for that matter. Cloning would not remove the need for parenting, especially considering that these are unborn clones.

I'm glad I found this gem in time for the holidays!

40 Days of Talking AT Me

It's been all abortion, all the time on my google reader for two weeks now as the Catholic Church (I think) is promoting 40 Days of Talking At People About Abortion. Of course, this event isn't actually called that, but that's what it's amounting to.

For the most part, I've been ignoring it. If you've heard the prolife position once, you've heard the entire prolife position: think of the baybeez*, not the women! There's only so much of that I can take before my blood pressure does something drastic.

This, however, is the outside of enough.

But that's the thing about abortion. It is hatred, plain and simple. Every woman who has ever aborted her baby must hate what is growing inside of her in order to do this terrible deed.

Look, there's this thing in civilized society called "presumption of good faith", which the Slacktivist does a better job explaining than I ever could. Presumption of good faith is necessary for conversations, without it, you are merely shouting at people. You really should read the Slacktivist's thoughts on the subject, however, in short, presumption of good faith is not assuming that all decisions you cannot understand are made from malice and evil.

Look, it's not that hard to find out why women have abortions. There's this thing, it's called the internet. It's where you posted your arrogant screed and it includes lots of other things, too. You can find out why women have abortions in the words of the women themselves.

You do not know better than these women why they did what they did. That is the essence of your rant, that you know better than everyone, that you know how everyone feels, that you know everyone's motivations better than they do. That everyone else is a liar, only you know the truth. That is the height of arrogance, and it just isn't true.

If you're actually interested in learning something, here's why women have abortions, from I'm Not Sorry:

Elaine

I had two beautiful daughters, ages 3 years old and 6 months. They were my whole life. I also had an alcoholic husband who I was desperately trying to seperate from. His increasingly frightening outbursts of rage had become too much for me. I was on the pill and we only made love once that month, but I still got pregnant. I knew there was no way I could possibly handle a pregnancy, and I knew if I told my husband, I would not be safe.
I secretly had an abortion and I know I made the right choice. It’s not a choice I ever thought I’d have to make, but I’m so grateful I had the right. I sincerely doubt that I’d still be sitting here in one piece, the blissful mother of two gorgeous girls, now 7 and 4 years old, if I had not had an abortion. I did what I had to do to protect myself and my children, and I have never once regretted it.

No hatred, just love for her daughters and a desire for safety.

Katie

My husband and I did not have the money to raise a child. Moreover, we had a few issues on our own to work out first. My husband is an alcoholic, and right as found out I was pregnant, he had decided to make the next step with his disease – to go to treatment for alcoholics and seek some help. I had wanted to get our relationship under control before bringing a child into this world.

Again, no hatred, just love.

Presumption of good faith. Get some.

*As said by Claire from Lost.