Friday, March 18, 2011

In Which I Make Ridiculous Assumptions About Things Instead of Learning the Truth

I have this awesome blog on my blogroll written by the Boganette. She's great, but that's not my point. Prior to seeing her blog, I had never come across the words "bogan" or "boganette" before. So I asked her what it meant. (It's the New Zealand equivalent of America's white trash.) Apparently, what I did was wrong. Instead, I should have just made up some meaning for those words that furthered whatever political goals, othering or general hatefulness I need to fulfill, thusly:

I think the fear of babies, the fear that leads to women gulping contraceptive chemicals like candy regardless of what these things may do to their bodies, that leads men to abandoning pregnant girlfriends or wives, that leaves to both men and women fearing and hating each other's reproductive ability even within the context of a loving marriage, and drives some people to the abortion clinic, is rooted in a truly deep and ugly fear: the fear of having to give up one's own carefully structured selfishness and, with it, the desire to remain a child.

You know, you could simply ask people why they . . . gulp contraceptive chemicals like candy? I have no idea how you eat candy, Erin, but I don't swallow one tiny little piece of candy at the exact same time each night (within 1 hour). I has a sad nao considering Erin's candy paucity. I guess I'd be a hateful, arrogant asshat if that were my only interaction with candy. Shall we take up a collection to send Erin a large shipment of Cadbury Minieggs complete with proper candy eating instructions (hey, as much as you want, whenever you want)?

While it is true that I am somewhat fearful of getting pregnant, I don't hate my husband's testes, nor do I think he hates my uterus. Really, what an odd world Erin inhabits.

Ah, and my "carefully structured selfishness". Is that what we're calling poverty these days? You know, Erin, you could go to imnotsorry and find stories about abortion written by women who have abortions and I'll tell you something, you arrogant twit, "I didn't want to give up my carefully structured selfishness" isn't in it. You know what is in it? Poverty, abuse, poverty, poverty, poverty and, let's be honest, if a person says they would not be a good parent, let's just assume they know themselves better than we know them.

The rest of the post descends into something that really pisses me off: you're not really a grown up until you spawn children of your own.

A. You should be* a mature, responsible person before you inflict yourself on a helpless infant. BEFORE.

B. Having children does not make one a mature, responsible person. Some people rise to the occasion, some people do not.

C. Not having children has nothing to do with maturity, either. Some people without children are mature and responsible, some people without children are not.

In other words, the qualities we associate with adulthood, such as responsibility and maturity, are independent of reproduction. Having children will not magically turn you into a person you are not, stop lying about it. Seriously, think of the children, born to people who don't want them and can't care for them. Let's not encourage more of that, okay?

And the next time you want to know why people use birth control or don't have children, ask them. It's that simple.



*Yes, I know we don't live in a perfect world, but I'm pro free birth control for everyone, which would be a big step.

8 comments:

  1. blaspheming bitches...

    vigilantcitizen.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=13220

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  2. I think the fear of babies, the fear that leads to women gulping contraceptive chemicals like candy regardless of what these things may do to their bodies, that leads men to abandoning pregnant girlfriends or wives, that leaves to both men and women fearing and hating each other's reproductive ability even within the context of a loving marriage, and drives some people to the abortion clinic, is rooted in a truly deep and ugly fear: the fear of having to give up one's own carefully structured selfishness and, with it, the desire to remain a child.

    Also, I think the sky is green.

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  3. I think that tiny mantises cause gravity!

    Also as a childfree by choice woman who is facing a hysterectomy, no. I don't hate my uterus, and I love all of my husband's bits, thanks. the idea of losing my uterus, even though I never want to use it to make the babyeez, is really uncomfortable for me. I've had my tubes tied, but it's still a BFD.

    Also, the cognitive dissonance involved in looking at someone who says "No, I don't want/like children" and responding "Children are the greatest gift ever! And also a punishment for your sinny sin sin sins! You must have them! Even though you'll probably treat them like you didn't want them! I REALLY JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO JUDGE YOU AND NOT LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE OKAY?" is...

    I don't even know. English doesn't have a strong enough word. German will do: seltendämlich.

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  4. what about those of us who can't have children?


    oh wait - i forgot - we don't REALLY exist. because ALL women MUST want BAYBEES - so if we just *prayed* hard enough, and were good enough, God would somehow come thru and "grant the miracle" - if we STILL can't has a baby, well then, it's OUR fault - we OBVIOUSLY aren't good enough, haven't prayed enough, etc.

    [Catholics and some fundies HATE fertility clinics, ESPECIALLY those that harvest a woman's eggs, fertalize them artifically, and then impant them back in the woman - or even WORSE, into a DIFFERENT woman. i really, really wonder WHY - don't they WANT those women to have the babies they want? or is REALLY all about "going against God's design"? i mean, if God didn't want people to do that, he could stop it! Christianity seriously confuses the ever living fuck out of me]


    ooooooooooooooooooh - tasty tidbit! i'd heard this before, but i didn't have a link or cite to give, so i didn't bring it up [i heard about in an anthro class and one of my religions classes]

    http://news.discovery.com/history/god-wife-yahweh-asherah-110318.html#mkcpgn=rssnws1

    [and, of COURSE one of the players in my Dresdenverse game sent me the link, thinking it'd be useful to the game, and i'm tearing my freaking hair out, because that's a HUGE portion of the plot right there! they're SUPPOSED TO DISCOVER THIS IN GAME!!! gah!
    but now i get to enjoy winging it - that's always fun. but so! frustrating! when your players find this vital clue OUTSIDE of the game!]

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  5. Evil, evil players. That is kind of funny, though.

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  6. And of course, some people don't have children because they just plain don't like them.

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  7. Never heard the term boganette before I met Boganette, though I recognised it as a varient of "bogan", which means the same thing here on the bigger island. The stereotype also has an associated accent (heavy Australian, but with annoying elongated syllables and a drawl that always reminds me of the main character of that old sit-com "The Nanny").

    And I mean no offense to Boganette, who I suspect is using the term ironically given that she consistently demonstrates a higher level of intellectualism than the majority of bogans I know, but the stereotype is quite possibly the most irritating in all existance. (In the interests of full disclosure: about a third of my family are bogans, my brother included)

    Look up any episode of "Kath and Kim" to see the bogan stereotype in action.

    Anyways, back on topic:

    My mind utterly fails to grasp the inability of these people to correctly represent their opponents. When I first entered the creo-evo debate, I misrepresented the creationists I was debating, but only through ignorance. But I spoke directly to them, they corrected me, and I stopped misrepresenting them. End of story.

    But it doesn't seem to matter how many times you correct the creationists and global-warming denialists, the misogynists and the homophobes, the tea-partiers and the republicans, they never seem to take any of it onboard. They know that we believe X, and no matter how many times we tell them we don't believe X, they'll just go on telling us how we should stop believing X lest we end up in hell/ruin marriage/bring about the downfall of [insert country here].

    The ability to misrepresent others like that deliberately is bad enough, but I suspect many of them aren't doing it deliberately. They truly think that what we say we believe is completely at odds with what we actually believe. Such a mindset is completely alien to me. If someone tells me they believe something, even if it contradicts what I think they should believe, I acknowledge that they probably have a better picture of their own mind than I do. They, on the other hand, are quite happy to believe they know my mind better than I, even when I prove them wrong.

    F*cking telepaths, how do they work?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh I'm blushing! Thanks!

    In terms of the meaning of the word bogan in Aussie vs the meaning of the word bogan in NZ - they are pretty different. In Aussie it's a real insult. Whereas in NZ it's a term of endearment really. I would think Outrageous Fortune not Kath and Kim. For a guide to NZ bogan culture - http://www.boganette.com/2009/11/guide-to-bogan-culture.html

    But yeah, white trash is probably the best way to describe it. I've never thought white trash people were bad people.

    In terms of what the post is *actually* about - wow, that is so completely messed up. And yes, let me tell you: When I swallowed my depo injection because I thought it was candy it was a total disaster!

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