Prolifers Think Women are Pretty F'ing Stupid

You already knew that, right? They don't trust you, an adult, to decide what is right for you, in your circumstances. They know better than you what to do with your body. They know better than you the circumstances of your life. They know better than you how you feel and what you can handle.

But this is the outside of enough (in support of laws that require women to view sonograms):

Imagine, for a second, that you are going in for surgery to have your appendix removed, and nobody actually says the word "appendix" or mentions that the goal is to take it out of you; instead, the whole thing is so wrapped in euphemism that you can't quite tell what it is the doctors plan to remove, or why. Would someone choosing an appendectomy under those circumstances really be making a free choice? Why, then, do we insist that the only way a woman can make a free choice to have an abortion is if we never actually talk about what she's having removed and killed?

Do you really think that women having abortions have no idea what's going on? They just heard about this new craze and thought they'd give it a try? Have you ever had an abortion, Red Cardigan? I have. Trust me, there is no way you could get an abortion without knowing exactly what they're doing. They describe it in detail, using real medical termino- oh. I see. They use words like "fetus" and "embryo" and you think those words are synonyms for "baby". And you think that if those poor, ignorant women just hear someone say "baby", all of a sudden their entire lives will be completely different and they will have money and support and health and everything will be okay and rainbows and unicorns will shoot out their vaginas and . . . um, yeah.

Okay, Red Cardigan, you are a woman, and you are pretty f'ing stupid. The rest of us, not so much.

after all, pregnancy only lasts nine months, but abortion is forever.

Proving once again the fetus fetishists don't give a shit about the baby once it's born. Here's a clue, RC, pregnancy may only last nine months, but the child? That's forever, too. It's forever either way, you just get to pick which forever is best for you. And don't talk to me about adoption. That's just delaying the forever for 18 years. Once that kid turns 18, they'll be at your door wanting answers, answers you may not be able to give.

You Do Understand They Become People Eventually, Right?

Have I ever introduced you to the Seppis? They are freakin' nuts. Fundamentalist isn't even the word. The Pope looks like a raving liberal next to them. Their big thing is abortion and here are their tips for preventing abortions (no, they do not include comprehensive sex ed and universal access to free birth control):

I was getting impatient, “We need some turnarounds! There hasn't been a baby saved in the last hour,” I thought, so walked as close to the door as legal, cupped my hands around my mouth and started yelling, “A mother bear fights for her cubs, she fights for their life, yet some humans kill their own baby! We (humans) are worse the than animals! Children are a gift from God!” Soon a hispanic lady came out crying and left with her husband walking beside her. Then another walked out.

First of all, any number of animals eat their young, including bears, so I'm not sure that's the best argument to be making, secondly, animals also don't use computers or drive cars, should we take all our cues from the birds and the bees?

Our friend Terri asks for the brown skin model with an English language fetal development card. The brown baby is good, because it is perfect for all nationalities and makes them feel like they are looking at their baby. It even feels like a baby with a silicone body. This is perfect to give a child accompanying his abortion escort mommy.

First of all, how many people bring their children along for an afternoon of abortion escorting? Secondly, you do not give other people's children presents without their parents' permission. Unless you would like me to start handing your children condoms? Yeah, I didn't think so.

If you or a friend of yours can speak Spanish and will go with you, that is really good, especially if you live in Mexifornia where I live. Many of the girls that come are hispanic or black and some white. But the Mexican immigrants are the easiest to convince to keep their baby because they come from Roman Catholic backgrounds and are more humble. They love to hear their mother tongue, but usually can understand English.

"Mexifornia"? O_o So, your hatred for nonwhites starts outside of the womb? Save the little wetback fetuses- and then spit on them once they're born, I guess.

I often start with, “Could I adopt your baby?” or “I have three friends who cannot have children. Could they adopt your baby?”

Now that is outrageous. She has no intention of adopting said baby and she does not know three infertile people. You know how I know this? Because she's suggesting this as a general strategy. Generally speaking, not every fetus fetishist can adopt, nor do they all have three friends who can and need to adopt. This is a manipulative, vile lie.

You know what I think? I think these people are like the asshats who are so excited about getting a puppy, without ever considering that you have a puppy for a few months, and after that a dog for at least a decade. Once the fetus is done incubating, it becomes a baby. A baby who needs to be fed and sheltered and clothed and diapered and educated and raised. Dinah Seppi has no intention of doing that, nor does she care that any of that needs to be done. All she cares about is stopping an abortion. The baby and the mother can go fuck off after that.

And Dinah doesn't care. She just wants to delay the abortion until it's too late to get one, and after that, it's the mother's problem. That mother and baby both could starve to death two feet away from Dinah and she wouldn't care. As long as there wasn't an abortion, Dinah won!

Even so, can you imagine giving your baby to the person you met while they were protesting at an abortion provider- with their children? Oh, you seem like a fine parent, I'm sure your friends are excellent parents, too.

At our clinic we yell at the top of our lungs and people can hear us clearly from the inside. We know because they have told us.

You can only stand on the public side walk, not the abortion property. You can say what ever you want as loud as you want. It is your right under God. If the security guard asks you something personal such as your name or where you live, you have the right not to answer. You do not have to say anything or you can say, “I take the fifth,” or “That is private."

So, women's health care, not private. Dinah's name, private. Good to know.

There you have it, the vile tactics of the fetish fetishist. Who never spends one moment for preventing pregnancies or improving the economy or helping women who already have babies, because shouting on sidewalks, that works. Or, it's something that she likes to do.

Go Ahead and Have The Baby- but Don't Bring It to Church or Anything

The Fetus Fetishists (I'd call them prolifers, but, um, they're not) are forever telling women to have every baby they get pregnant with, no matter what. Not just telling, either, but passing every law they can mange to ensure that all pregnancies result in babies. Are you too poor to support a baby? Too bad, have it. Are you in an abusive relationship? Too bad, baby time. Are you too sick to have a baby? Die giving birth, bitch. Does the baby have a disability incompatible with life, or that would result in a need for medical interventions you can't afford? Deal with it. Is it the result of a rape? Won't that be fun, raising your rapist's baby.

The thing is, and the reason I won't call them prolife, is that once the baby stops being a fetus and is out in the world crying and making trouble and needing food and stuff, they don't want to be bothered, as evidenced by this screed:

Your precious sweet baby was the focus of attention today. I guess you
didn't notice. There you were, Dad, Mom, and sweet baby sitting in the front row.

The way she says and repeats "precious" makes me think she was replacing a word she wouldn't be allowed to use on that forum. Seriously, replace "precious" with "fucking" and watch the tone change not one bit.

It was time for the service to begin. Pastor introduced the very special guest speaker. He was a Jewish man who had studied for the Priesthood before becoming a Christian. He traveled three thousand miles to be with us on Palm Sunday. Later in the evening we would have the opportunity to sit down to a Seder dinner, with him teaching the meaning of the meal.

As he began to speak, you could tell, this was going to be an interesting and powerful message. He barely got started when your baby began making noise. True, precious baby wasn't crying; no, she was only talking, loudly.

So . . . doing what babies do, in other words.

Some minutes into the guest speaker's message, baby talks more and more. Interrupting and causing the speaker to lose his train of thought.

You know what? If you can't give your speech except in complete silence, don't give speeches. You aren't good at it. This is a baby being a baby. Calm the fuck down.

By now, I'm having a difficult time listening to the speaker, my thoughts are
directed to precious baby and Mom and Dad. Frustration sets in, and so now I'm thinking thoughts that are far away from Whom I came to hear about. Jesus. I'm thinking, please take your child out of here. You are being rude Mom and Dad, you are being rude to everyone in the room, but especially to the guest speaker.

You had a baby! And brought it into public! It's rude! Yes, I want you to have 12 babies each, which I am trying to ensure by making birth control and abortion illegal, but I don't want to actually see or hear those babies.

I can see that your own attention is on baby, not on the message. You are sitting in the front row, dealing with a noisy baby, not hearing the speaker, and subjecting us all to this.

Subjecting us all to a baby.

I began squirming in my seat, I'm unable to concentrate on the speaker. By now the speaker is having even more trouble concentrating on his message. Finally, the speaker can't take it anymore and asks you to leave, you force him to, in front of everyone.

The speaker's quite the rude little bastard, isn't he? Would you go back to that church? "Choose life!- and once you do, I will publicly humiliate you for that life being lively."

Everyone's attention is on you and only you. We watch you gather your things and walk to the back of the building and we hear the door close behind you. You chose not to go to the crying room. The special room built and equipped just for you, so that you can watch a live feed while attending to your precious noisy baby. You chose to show your displeasure by leaving the church entirely.

Shocking.

It is now halfway thru the hour. The speaker is standing up front feeling horrible. We his audience, are feeling very sorry for him. And embarrassed.

Sorry for him, huh? Well, he is bad at public speaking. I guess that is a bit embarrassing.

You Mom and Dad, deprived one hundred people of a powerful Palm Sunday message because you chose to sit in the front row with your precious noisy baby. Your noisy baby is simply impossible to ignore.

Darn right. That's why some of us choose not to have babies, you see.

I really thought this crowd would castigate the poster for such an antibaby message, but they don't.

Reality check: I come from a large Italian family, as does my husband. Between our two families, there are always babies and small children. We include them in everything: weddings, funerals, birthdays, whatever. If we're getting together, there will be babies. And you know what? Babies cry, toddlers talk loudly and run around and that's okay. We're not totally out of control at restaurants, but we've enjoyed weddings in which the background music was a wailing baby and nobody cared. That's what babies do. At one funeral, an 18 month old showed off her jumping skills during the eulogy. Whatever, the dead person loved children, what better way to celebrate their life than to let a toddler jump a bit?

So that's where I'm coming from. I'm atheist, prochoice and happily childless and entirely probaby and pro children being children. The uberright, christian fetus fetishists, not so much.

My aunt accused me of being a "Bridezilla" because I refused to allow the pastor's toddler to attend. I had seen too many weddings with a crying infant/toddler.

We had the wedding at 7 PM... and I just knew "But she's such a perfect little angel' would start acting up. She was 18 months.

We had a lovely wedding, small and quiet.

Children: not for weddings.

Sometimes parents just think that their kids are just too cute to be aggravating, but we all know better don't we? This was uncalled for and I agree with you. I feel absolutely terrible for the speaker and for the congregation. If the parents walked out of the church instead of going to the crying room, that was their selfish decision. What they did was not the way of God's children. This was a sad chain of events in which many people suffered. Sad! :-(

Selfish! So selfish! You must have your babies- and be exiled to the crying room. But babies, have them, just not around us, we don't really like them.

I have a very selfish SIL who refused to miss one moment of my daughter's wedding, even though she had a fussy, crying baby. I was never irritated with the baby because she was doing what babies are supposed to do. But I was highly annoyed with the baby's mother who always puts herself and her own interests first. My only daughter was having her only wedding and the gorom, an only son, was having his only wedding. Unfortunately, we missed much of the ceremony due to my SIL's selfishness. I will never understand why people refuse to be more thoughtful. Parents shouldn't have to be told that their sweet, precious babies are creating a disturbance and a distraction when they are making noise in situations like this. I'm sorry that, due to their own self centeredness, the parents were offended and I'm sorry that the speaker and the audience were all so distracted.

Only one wedding and a baby cried! Oh noes! At the Wedding O' the Century last year, the ringbearer was 2 years old. He made it all the way to the special vows and then threw down the pillow with the rings on it and declared, "I'm bored. I want SpongeBob!"

We could have gasped in horror. The bride could have cried over her wedding being ruined, and then it would have been. Instead, she laughed, picked up the pillow and told him to see if he could find a frog in the rocks (it was an outdoor wedding). It was a cute moment and so much more memorable than a "perfect" wedding- just like every other "perfect" wedding I have seen and can't remember one thing about.

One person does point out that Jesus had something to say about children:

There's no denying that these parents should have taken their baby out of the sanctuary. However, I don't believe that Jesus, who gently admonished that we suffer little children unto him, would have handled the situation in the same way.

But no, this doesn't mean that Jesus wanted children around, he was just getting rid of some overenthusiastic baby lover as quickly as possible. (What kind of freak likes a baby once it's born?)

If this is the scripture that you're referring to Matthew 19:13 & Matthew 19:14 I understand this to mean that parents wanted Jesus to pray for their children and so he did.

I love this:

Still there are some parents who think it is a good thing to have their kids with them through the service to the detriment of others because their kids often get bored and will do what kids know best and that is to make nosie to entertain themselves. Some even break free and run around the pews. It is these serial offenders that get me upset. Fortunately the new minister isn't a softy buy speaks to the parents(privately) and asks them to go with their children to the child care area next time. In the end if they ignore the minister's request they are asked to not come into the service at all but stay outside in a area outside where the sermon is broadcast on speakers.

It's parenthood as a contagion. Stay outside and listen to the broadcast, you parent, you.

Prolife: It has nothing to do with loving babies. Nothing at all.

Let's Shelve the Abortion Debate Until We Can Fix the Child Welfare System

Juxtapositions are killing me lately. Abortion is bad! Birth control is bad! Children are a blessing, don't even think about not having them! and at the same time, yet another child failed by the child welfare system. Again and again and afuckinggain until I feel like grabbing prolifers by the ears and shaking them while screaming, "Not everyone should have children! Abortion is not worse than a child beaten and starved and raped and killed with pesticides! That is not better!"

I am not going to beat up on the people that comprise the child welfare system in this country. My friend Marzie is a part of it and through her I have gotten the tiniest sense of how difficult that job is. Enough sense to know that I would last a week before throwing myself off a bridge. Superman is nothing compared to Marzie in my eyes, I really don't know how she does it.

The system is broken. It breaks the people within it, from the judges to the GALs to the case workers to the children it is meant to protect. And I don't know any better than anyone else how to fix it.

Well, I do, in a way. The child welfare system is filled with unwanted children. That's how they end up in the system. Their parents didn't want them in the first place, so they abandon them, or neglect them, or abuse them. The fact of the matter is, you can force people to have children, by denying people access to birth control and abortion, but you can't force those people to want those children, nor can you force them to treat those children well. So you take the children away and put them in the care of someone else, and hope those people don't abuse them. You hope that the abuse and neglect didn't damage them permanently and you hope that love and therapy will be enough to prevent an endless cycle of unwanted pregnancies and abused children. It often is not.

The abortion debate, well, the prolife side anyway, ignores something important about pregnancy: it results in a child that has to be cared for. And the people demanding forced pregnancies aren't the ones caring for the children, now are they? And they aren't the ones being neglected and abused.

But wait! Adoption! It solves all problems! First of all, adoption is fraught with difficulties, both social* and emotional, and anyway, the Barahona children were adopted. Adoptive parents neglect and abuse their children, too. It's no guarantee.

So you know what? Let's not even consider reversing Roe v. Wade right now and come back to it after we've worked something out for all the unwanted children we already have. I don't think dumping millions more unwanted children into the system is really the way to address that, do you?

*I couldn't possibly afford a child right now, but I can also guarantee you that no one I work with and no one in my family would accept me putting a child up for adoption. Social pariah would be the best I could hope for.

If It's not in Your Uterus, You Don't Get Decision Making Powers

I have heard this argument* (though not so chock full of "execution" and "murder") in real life: Men should have as much say in the decision whether or not to abort as women do. After all, it's half their kid, right?

Bullshit. Bullfuckingshit**.

You know why men don't get say in the decision to have an abortion (unless the woman wants to give him say, the law doesn't)? Because it's not his body that will be in use for the gestation and delivery, that's why. I would actually have no problem with the man having veto power if we were able to then transfer the fetus from the woman's body to his body. If we had that ability, I'd be totally okay with men being able to decide whether or not a woman has an abortion. I also guarantee that not too many men would be voicing opinions once we got that technology.

Look at it this way. You have a choice, right now, to decide whether or not to donate a kidney to a person with End Stage Renal Disease. Right now. Kidneys don't have to match on too many factors, and there are so many people with ESRD I could almost guarantee you that someone needs one of your kidneys. I don't think you're selfish for not doing so. There are a lot of good reasons not to. However, I'm sure if we left the decision up to someone else, say that dying person's husband or daughter, the decision would be a little different.

So, no, until it is the man's body that will be used for the gestational adventure, he has no say.

Note: It's not that Forever in Hell has become an All Abortion, All the Damn Time! blog, it's that the anniversary of Roe v. Wade was Sunday, so my google reader is chock full of obnoxious prolife posts. Also, January tends to be a dead zone in atheist bashing. It doesn't really pick up until a few weeks before Easter.

*Related to today's post here.

**You know what I don't get? Why are words like "fuck" and "bullshit" shocking and the sign of a lazy mind, but using words like "execution" and "murder" 73,000 times in one post is totally okay and civilized? It's like parents who are totally okay with their kid seeing unlimited violence in a movie, but one nipple requires the intervention of Congress.

A Modest Proposal (Hell's Remix)

[trigger warning: infertility. enjoy this happy otter instead.]

The 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade and the arrest of a butcher in Philadelphia have caused quite the uptick in articles regarding abortion, which explains why I have seen this argument against abortion several times in the last week: There are infertile women* who desperately want a baby, how dare you have an abortion.

First of all, it's the pregnancy equivalent of starving children in China ("fine, send my food to them"), and just as asinine. I doubt any of these people would suggest that starving people in their neighborhood be allowed to enter their homes without permission and take whatever they want out of their pantries, would they? Um, no. I also sincerely doubt any of these people would support a measure to take organs from people without permission to give them to those dying of organ failure. "What? You have two working kidneys, you only need one. She doesn't have any, don't be selfish."

However, perhaps these prolifers have a point. It's so unfair that some women have unwanted pregnancies while others can't have wanted pregnancies**. But it's not enough to outlaw abortion. After all, most women who go through with an unwanted pregnancy don't give the resulting child up for adoption, they keep it and raise it themselves. That doesn't help infertile people. And prolifers are all about helping the infertile.

So here's my modest proposal: Every five years, we figure out exactly how many infertile people there are in the US who desire children. Currently, that's 7.3 million women***. That's a lot of people, but don't worry, there are (as of 2000) 23 million women between the ages of 20 and 34- prime childbearing (yet adult) years, which means there are (subtracting the infertile total from the general total. rough, I know.) 15.7 million women who are fully capable of providing children for the infertile.

Those 15.7 million women are being terribly selfish by not voluntarily getting pregnant with a child solely for the purposes of giving said child to an infertile woman, and that needs to end. So, every 5 years, we'll have a lottery. 7.3 million fertile women of prime child bearing age will be required to immediately get pregnant, have the baby and give it to an infertile women. Some women may have to do this twice, as prime childbearing yet adult years span 14 years, but don't worry, it's only fair.

No, these women will not be compensated for their trouble. I've never heard of anyone invoking infertility as an argument against abortion state that women with unwanted pregnancies should be compensated for their efforts, so it will be up to you if you are chosen in the lottery. Don't complain, as the possessor of a working reproductive system, it's only your duty.

*I do appreciate the pain of infertility. In fact, I think infertility treatments should be covered by insurance in the US at least to the level infertility treatments are covered in the UK. I am not in any way mocking the pain of infertility, merely the argument that one person's infertility justifies taking away the bodily autonomy of another person.

**Terribly unfair, in fact, however two wrongs don't make a right.

***I have no idea why I can only find this statistic for women. I guess men are never infertile.

Are You Suffering from Post Abortion Stress?

Yeah, this isn't stressful.

Okay, fine. It's 2011, I'm done being afraid.

I had an abortion.

I was 20. My father had left, and I had dropped out of college to work two jobs to help my mother keep her house and buy medications for her and my sister. Not the time for a baby.

I don't regret it. At all. I love children, but I've never wanted children of my own. Then was certainly not the time. As for adoption, I was barely eating at that point (No, mom, I'm not hungry, don't worry about it, buy Sissy's inhaler . . .). I certainly couldn't afford to take time off- unpaid- to give birth.

I do occasionally wonder about what my life would have been like had I chosen differently. Just the other day, I looked around at all the high school kids on the bus and realized I would have been on that bus with a 15 year old, my 15 year old. It wasn't regret, though. It was more like realizing that some now famous actor was in a show you like when you were a kid. "Oh, weird."

Life is like that. You make choices. Those choices preclude other choices, and eventually you are left wondering what could have been, not with regret, but with curiosity. What if I hadn't married him? What if I had tried to make the band work instead of going to college? What if, what if, what if? If you've made it to 35 without a few what ifs, you haven't made any choices at all.

Anyway, you can see where I'm coming from when I read about Post Abortion Stress.

If you have had an abortion(s), you may be suffering from post-abortion stress. Answering the following questions can help you figure out how the abortion(s) may have effected your life.

Do you feel nervous or anxious at the idea of telling a loved one about your abortion? Is your abortion a secret that is holding you back from greater intimacy with others?

I'm sorry, where do these people live? Mars? Certainly not the United States. In the US, abortion providers are murdered, abortion clinics are picketed every day and a million different blogs call me a murderer and worse- and I'm supposed to be comfortable telling anyone I had an abortion? I'm not comfortable telling you under a pseudonym. I've wrestled with it for years. But that's a symptom of a pseudo-psychiatric condition caused by abortion.

Fuck off.

It's my business, not yours. There is no reason for anyone to know that I've had an abortion. It's no more your business than what brand of tampon I use. I don't even tell gynecologists that I've had an abortion. Why? Because I have no way of knowing if the gynecologist, or her staff, is prolife, and I'd rather not find that out when my feet are in the stirrups- or after the receptionist tells everyone about it. These things happen.

But that's not stressful.

When you do choose to share your abortion experience with others, are you overcome with strong feelings such as anger, sorrow, grief, or guilt?

Do you have trouble talking about the abortion issue as a political issue? When you do talk about it, do you find it hard to respect opposing views, or do you becoming overly emotional, either in support of or opposition to it?

Who the fuck is calm about abortion in the US? See that picture above? That was one of the nicest pictures I could find. The vast majority included bloodied baby dolls and words I won't reprint here. Prolifers call me a murderer and then wonder why I might get a touch worked up when discussing abortion.

Seriously, fuck off.

Do you tend to look at life in terms of "before" and "after" the abortion(s)?

Sure. I also look at life in terms of before and after college, before and after my father left, and before and after I got married.

Have you experienced "reconnectors" to your abortion, such as nightmares, flashbacks, or hallucinations, such as hearing a baby cry?

Where on earth are these people having abortions, 1647, perhaps, or in the midst of a battle in Vietnam? Here's a quick description of a surgical abortion: it's just like a regular gynecological exam, except it hurts more, though no more than bad cramping with your period. It takes less than five minutes. It neither sounds nor feels like much, and they give you Valium anyway, so you're a little drowsy and out of it. An abortion is a medical procedure, not a tour of duty.

Was there a period after your abortion when you experienced an increase in the use of alcohol or drugs (illegal or prescription)? Have you experienced other forms of emotional deadening?

Have you experienced any suicidal thoughts? Do you take risks that put your life in danger? Do you try to hurt yourself? Have you developed any eating disorders?

There are no other possible explanations for mental illness or addictive behaviors once you've had an abortion! It's all about the uterus with women, after all. (There are 12 questions like this.)

Have you lost your faith? Have you lost a sense of God's peace? Do you think God still loves you? Are you afraid of God? Have your rejected belief in God for emotional reasons rather than thoughtful reasons?

Wow. That would be odd. I mean all those prolifers telling us how terrible abortions are and calling us murderers, it would be so strange for a woman to feel that God hated her if she had an abortion. Inexplicable, even.

Again and again and again, fuck off.

The Child Who Shouldn't Be Here

What the hell does "prolife" mean, anyway? Surely not what a combination of "pro" and "life" would imply, at least not if you pay attention to the attitudes and behaviors of those who claim the word "prolife" so proudly.

My sister-in-law got married Saturday. To please her husband's family, she converted to Catholicism and they were married in the Catholic church his family has attended for generations. This was almost two years after she and her (now) husband had a baby girl. That child (hereinafter "cutest toddler ever") was in attendance at the rehearsal dinner Friday, and by "in attendance", I mean "running around the private dining room squealing HI! at the walls, because that's how 21 month olds are". And we love that. Children are welcome at every celebration in our family, and they are welcome to be children. (Hence private dining rooms and such.)

Also in attendance was the priest performing the ceremony the next day. Who was apparently pretty bitter about being expected to perform the marriage of two nonvirgins. I say this because he repeatedly referred to the cutest toddler ever as "the child who shouldn't be here." At first, we assumed he was against a toddler attending a rehearsal dinner. We found this attitude baffling as we love having all the children in the family at celebrations. It's just not a celebration without them.

It took me a while to realize that this priest, you know, the representative of the organization so prolife they're opposed to condoms, meant the child who shouldn't exist at all. As in the old meaning of the word "bastard". As in, sins of the fathers being visited to the children for seven generations.

As in, a prolifer looking at a gorgeous, happy child, much loved by her family, and seeing something wrong, something offensive, something that shouldn't be.

He's lucky he didn't end up with my fork in his eye.

If my sister-in-law had decided to have an abortion instead of carrying the pregnancy to term, I would have supported her in that decision. But, now that the child is here, she is my family and I love her. I am prochoice, but I will never look at a child and see shame.

Incredibly, the next day, part of the ceremony included an admonition to "accept all the children God gives you." Honestly, I felt like adding "unless that child is born out of wedlock and then we won't accept her. Ever."

I have a very hard time calling these people prolife when it seems they only honor the life they cannot see.

****************

Marginally related side note.

A photo booth at a wedding reception is an amazingly good time. It was busy the entire reception, everyone was in and out of there multiple times (myself, I think 15 times), and the bride and groom get copies of all the pictures, which I'm sure will result in uncontrollable laughter. (There were props!)

The bride left a bucket filled with flip flops by the door at the reception. Within 30 minutes, every woman at the reception was wearing matching flip flops. It was a fantastic idea and we all really appreciated it. (And every single recent bride asked why she didn't think of that.)

The bride also filled up baskets for the restrooms. The woman's basket had tums, advil, tampons, hairspray, nail files, hair pins, a comb, toothbrushes, toothpaste, dental floss, safety pins, a first aid kit, deodorant and a sewing kit. I'm told the men's room was similarly stocked. By the end of the night, most of that did get used. It was a fantastic idea that made all the guests feel very welcome and cared for.

Major Lulz from the Sheltered - Chapter 7

Yes! Chapter 7 of Life's Choices has arrived. (Chapter 6, previous chapters) This is the last chapter we will get to see because the author has decided to prevent her work from being stolen by emailing the final chapter upon request. I doubt she's going to indulge me on that one.

Sunday morning dawned bright and beautiful. Leona lazily rolled over in bed and the sunlight caught her face and made her squint with its brightness. Then she suddenly remembered! Today, the Jackson family was going to church - for the first time, as a family, in years. This made her excited and she quickly jumped out of bed and headed for the shower. She didn’t take long bathing because she wanted to spend a while dolling herself up. She chose a nice, long dress that she thought wouldn’t be too fancy for church, tried to do her makeup perfectly, and pulled her hair up in a very becoming fashion. She was all jitters when she practically skipped down the stairs into the kitchen where her parents were having their morning coffee.

Yay! Church. Um, woohoo. Do new converts really feel this way about church? I suppose it's possible.

“My, my!” her mother said, upon her daughter’s entrance. “Aren’t we up and ready early!”
Leona laughed cheerily and planted a kiss on both her parents’ cheeks, then glided to the counter to prepare herself some breakfast. English muffins didn’t appeal anymore because of her pregnancy tastes, so she fixed herself a bowl of cereal and strawberries, instead.

". . . because of her pregnancy tastes"? "Laughed cheerily"? "Glided"? Miss Raquel* is convinced someone is just dying to steal her work. Perhaps she saw that Stephanie Meyer's IP address visited her blog? Also, if Leona has been in the habit of eating english muffins for breakfast, why do they have fresh strawberries for cereal and strawberries? Is it even the right time of year for that?

“How are you feeling, daughter?” her dad asked.

He calls her "daughter"? Why? I'm really starting to wonder about breakfast's at Raquel's house.

“I’m doing good,” she said. “Too excited to notice my occasional nausea.”

Sure. Because the urge to puke up your socks is something you can just ignore if you wish to.

“If you’re feeling nauseous, maybe you should stay home from church,” her mother suggested.

BWAHAHHAHAHAHA! "Nauseated" is the feeling of having to throw up. Something that is "nauseous" makes one "nauseated". I don't like Leona either, but I don't think I'd describe her as nauseous. Her own mother!

“Nope!” Leona said, cheerily. “Nothing is holding me back from church today! Especially since we’re going to Peter and Sarah’s church. I can’t wait for you both to meet them! You’ll just love them! A little Luke too. He’s a doll!”

The previous night, the Jackson family had stayed up very late, talking and catching up with each other. It was almost like they hadn’t seen each other for the past several months, even though they lived in the same house. Leona had told them all about Peter and their talks together…and how much she thought of him. Mr. and Mrs. Jackson were anxious to meet him.

Try to keep in mind that Leona was dumped by her baby daddy two weeks ago. Two weeks ago! Why are her parents so very happy to hear about her and yet another man, while she pregnant, no less? I also enjoy that apparently Raquel thinks that nonfundy families are like ships passing in the night, living in the same home, but never communicating. Without Christ, conversations are impossible.

The family quickly finished their breakfast and, following the directions from Peter, arrived at the little church a bit early. But a lot of the congregation was already assembled - as was Peter, Sarah, Mrs. Black and Luke.
Leona and Sarah hugged for almost a full minute. They hadn’t seen each other since that day Leona has stormed out of the Center.

Count to 60, slowly. By the time you get to 15, this hug has already gotten creepy.

"Will you please forgive me, Sarah?” Leona whispered in her friend’s ear. “For everything that I ever said to you that day.”

“Oh, Leona, yes! Yes, I do forgive you,” Sarah hugged her tighter. “All your sins are forgiven by the Creator...why shouldn’t I forgive you too?”

*headdesk* Go to any Christian message board, blog, etc. Christians get angry, Christians hold grudges, Christians are human, too. I don't even find this to be a very convincing reason to forgive someone. "Hey, I know you're having a hard time right now, don't worry about it" is one thing, "Well, if Jesus says so" is quite another.

They pulled away from each other and smiled. “You look beautiful, Leona,” Sarah said. “There’s a shine about your face that is so beautiful.”
Leona laughed. “That’s funny,” she said. “I always thought that about you.”

Jesus makes you shiny. I suggest astringent.

The song soon finished, and they all sat down. The pastor prayed and then started in on his sermon of God’s love and forgiveness. It was a wonderful sermon for Leona to hear as a new believer. It touched her heart and made her swell with unexpressible joy to know that Jesus loved her and forgave her of all her sins. It wasn’t a long sermon, but filled with so much feeling and love for God that Leona could’ve kept listening for two more hours. After service, the church had fellowship downstairs. The Jacksons hadn’t brought anything to share in the meal, but they made a mental note to remember to bring something next Sunday.
Next Sunday, Leona thought. Wasn’t it special to look forward to coming to church next week?

Did her heart grow two sizes that day?

Fellowship ended too soon, it seemed, for the Jacksons, but they were already looking forward to next Sunday. Leona hugged Mrs. Black and Sarah, and kissed Luke on his cheek before allowing Peter to help her into her parents’ car. She rolled down the window and said good-bye to him. Peter smiled and said good bye, then turned to shake her parents’ hands before they left.
“That Peter fellow is a very nice young man,” her dad remarked on their drive home.
Leona flushed, without meaning to.
“Oh yes!” Mrs. Jackson exclaimed. “He’s very sweet. And such manners too!”
“Yes,” Leona agreed. And I love him.

"And such manners, too!" Either this book is set in 1792 or we're discussing a dog. "You should totally marry him! I know you hardly know him and you just broke up with your baby daddy, but he says 'please' and 'thank you'! You can't possibly do better than that!" Leona, I don't think your mom really likes you if she thinks that's the best you can do.

Since we're not getting the official final chapter, perhaps we should write our own. I'm thinking something along the lines of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. As I recall, Mrs. Black is running a child labor ring and Peter owns a brothel outside of Las Vegas. Surely we can do something with that. (denelian: you did say you were bored . . .)

*It's a bit of thing amongst a certain set of stay-at-home-daughter bloggers to call themselves "Miss So and So". Unless they are nobility, I'm calling shenanigans.

Personhood Initiative

abortion, prochoice, prolife, feminism, choice, mississippi
There is an initiative in Mississippi to classify everything from a newly fertilized egg onward as a "person" with all the rights and benefits of "personhood".

SECTION 1.

Article III of the constitution of the state of Mississippi is hereby amended BY THE ADDITION OF A NEW SECTION TO READ:

Section 33. Person defined. As used in this Article III of the state constitution, “The term ‘person’ or ‘persons’ shall include every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning or the functional equivalent thereof.”

This initiative shall not require any additional revenue for implementation.

This frightens me.

This creates, in every woman, the possibility of there being a "person" inside her body- parasitizing her body, in fact- that has conflicting rights with the woman herself.

What happens when the rights of this fetusperson, this person who cannot survive outside of another person, demand that another, fully functioning person must risk death or serious injury to preserve the rights of the fetusperson?

I have, more than once, had to make decisions that involve a malignant calculus: this drug will improve your heart function, but damage your liver. What do you want to do? That decision is difficult to make, balancing potential benefits against potential risks and hoping against hope that I made the right decision. And it is my decision. As my doctor said when I asked him to decide, I have to live with the consequences of the decision, therefore I must make the decision.

In Mississippi, we could very well see a day when women are required to live with the consequences of a decision they are not allowed to make. Who will make that decision? Well, not the woman's doctor. Her doctor can't advocate for both woman and fetus if their needs oppose one another. Another doctor will have to be brought in, as well as, I would imagine, a legal guardian for the fetus. Imagine waiting to discover if a doctor you've never seen before and a lawyer you've never met are going to sentence you to death to preserve the life of a person who doesn't exist yet.

How will these decisions be made? We don't know. Some women, left to their own devices, might very well accept a 95% chance of death in order to give their fetusperson a chance at living. Some women may not be willing to take a chance on a 95% chance of survival. What will be the cutoff? What extenuating factors will be taken into consideration? Will a single mother of 3 already born children be given a pass on risk that other women may be asked to accept? Will wealthy women be able to game the system with better representation? Truly, the potential consequences of this initiative are disturbing, and I doubt that even one of its proponents have thought it through as far as I have in 5 minutes.

The Point is 6 Miles That Way

abortion, prochoice, prolife, poverty,

The pro-life movie starring Christian songstress Rebecca St. James in her first leading role made its world premiere last Friday at the Great Boston Christian Film Festival.

“Sarah’s Choice,” which will hit theaters Nov. 17, centers on the life of Sarah Collins (St. James), a young junior account executive at a major advertising agency who becomes pregnant while climbing the ladder of success.

Though her friends and co-workers insist that she has the right to choose a path that offers a successful career and seemingly unlimited material rewards, Collins comes to consider another choice following a series of nightly visions and the words of a mysterious stranger.

Wow. Talk about missing the point. Do prolifers really think that most abortions are obtained by beautiful, rich white women who don't want to miss out on being even more rich? Really?

According to the Guttmacher Institute:

• About 60% of abortions are obtained by women who have one or more children.

• The abortion rate among women living below the federal poverty level ($9,570 for a single woman with no children) is more than four times that of women above 300% of the poverty level (44 vs. 10 abortions per 1,000 women). This is partly because the rate of unintended pregnancies among poor women (below 100% of poverty) is nearly four times that of women above 200% of poverty (112 vs. 29 per 1,000 women)

• The reasons women give for having an abortion underscore their understanding of the responsibilities of parenthood and family life. Three-fourths of women cite concern for or responsibility to other individuals; three-fourths say they cannot afford a child; three-fourths say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or the ability to care for dependents; and half say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner

So, to summarize, most abortions are obtained by poor women who already have a child, who recognize that they cannot afford (another) child.

I say we produce a realistic movie about abortion. In this movie, we will follow a poor, young woman with a child through their life of crushing poverty. We will watch as our heroine works two jobs to support her children, and still can't make ends meet. We will follow her through a string of low-paying, dead-end jobs, her trips from one ill-maintained, possibly dangerous apartment to the next, as she does without food so her children can eat less than they'd like. We'll watch her as she freezes in the winter without a coat while her children wear ill-fitting hand me downs. We'll watch the family on Christmas morning as her children open their one present each from a charity.

It'll be heartwarming, I'm sure.

Vessels

burton, prochoice, prolife, pregnant, civil rights, feminism,

I'm not entirely certain I can discuss this intelligently right now as I am incredibly angry about this, but I'll give it a try, because apparently we really need to have this discussion.

Who Gets to Make Medical Decisions for Pregnant Women? from Daily Kos, written by By Dahlia Ward, State Strategist, ACLU Reproductive Freedom Project

Imagine this — you're the busy mother of two small kids with another one on the way. This pregnancy has been fraught with complications. During a medical exam, your doctor orders bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy. You explain that you can't possibly stay in bed for four months with two small children (!). The doctor insists. You say you want to get a second opinion. The doctor refuses and goes to court and gets a court order mandating your confinement in the hospital for the remainder of your pregnancy.

Sound crazy? Well something along these lines happened to Samantha Burton, a mother of two in Florida who was 25 weeks pregnant when she was hospitalized against her will due to pregnancy complications. When she requested a transfer to another hospital so she could get a second opinion, the state refused because it was not in the fetus' "best interests at the time." After three days in state-mandated confinement, Ms. Burton lost the baby.

This follows on the heels of a case in New Jersey where a woman lost custody of her child after refusing a C-section during delivery of said child. (She gave birth vaginally, the child was born healthy, and they took the child away anyway.)

We have apparently reached the point in this country where pregnant women are second class citizens, denied the rights they would have if they were weren't pregnant, or if they were men. Right now, in this country, we allow paranoid schizophrenics to refuse treatment, knowing full well their refusal will, most certainly, result in harm to them (homelessness, etc.), and could possibly result in harm to others (most paranoid schizophrenics are completely harmless, but there are those few), but we allow them that right anyway. Why? Because despite their illness, paranoid schizophrenics are adults, and we allow adults control over their bodies, even if the result of that control is needless suffering and death. Unless those adults are pregnant women, in which case, they aren't even allowed the necessary information to make a good decision.

The cases involving Ms. Burton and the New Jersey woman prove something I, and others, have said all along: prolifers only care about children in the womb. Once those children are out in the world, they don't give a shit. The New Jersey woman's child was healthy. There was no reason to take the child away from her. That action was purely punitive- punishment for the mere woman who dared to defy the great doctor. Ms. Burton's case is even more disgusting.

Think about the choices Ms. Burton faced. Bed rest means bed rest. You are allowed a 10 minute shower once a day, doctor visits and nothing else. How could anyone possibly even keep two small children clean and safe from bed? Four months of bed rest for Ms. Burton meant a dangerous situation for her two children. I don't know if Ms. Burton worked, but if she did, four months of bed rest would most likely mean four months without a paycheck, if she even had a job to go back to. What were her children supposed to eat? Where were they supposed to live?

Ms. Burton was in a terrible position- or maybe not. She never did get her second opinion. Assuming bed rest was necessary, she was in the worst position I can imagine. She could either protect her two born children, or protect the not-yet-born child. That is a decision I can't imagine having to make, but it was Ms. Burton's decision. No one else's. Not her doctor's, not the judge's, not mine, not yours, not anyone's. Hers.

Women do not become children, incompetent or slaves the moment they become pregnant. They remain competant adults. Or they did, until the prolife lobby took over our legal system. Now, if you get pregnant, remember: your body is not your own, your choices are not your own, your life is not your own. It belongs to someone else. And they don't care about you. You're just a vessel, not a human being.

Ideology Gone Awry

abortion, prochoice, prolife, tiller, baby, faith,
Prolifers like to say that every late term abortion Dr. Tiller provided was "frivolous". No, they weren't. The story of Baby Faith is the story of prolife ideology gone horribly awry.

The Story of Baby Faith Hope is a blog written by a 23 year old woman who discovered she was pregnant with an anencephalic baby. Anencephaly is a neural tube defect which results in a baby that is missing most of its brain. In fact, such babies are missing most of their heads and are born without the top of the skull. You can see some pretty horrifying pictures of you search "anencephaly pictures". These babies have no hope for survival, the only possibility for them is suffering and death. It's a tragedy, plain and simple.

My name is Myah Walker. In about 8 weeks from now I will be giving birth to my little girl, Faith Hope. Faith was diagnosed with anencephaly at my 19-week ultrasound on September 12.

Anything after 20 weeks is a late term abortion. Thank whatever you want they are legal in such circumstances, because I can't imagine being faced with this sort of news and then being forced to rush about trying to get an appointment for an abortion within 5-7 days.

Myah is staunchly prolife.

When given the option to either carry her to term or terminate the pregnancy, I immediately told the doctor that I wanted to carry her to term. It was not a decision that I had to think about. For some reason I had to give the doctors my decision over and over again, which was frustrating. One doctor asked, "Can I ask why you want to continue this pregnancy?" I guess some people are baffled by unconditional love.

No, sweetie, like me they were baffled that you would want to put yourself and a baby through such pain unnecessarily. I can't possibly judge you, the position you were in is unthinkably cruel, but I can't imagine making the same choice, nor should I or any other woman be forced to.

What happens next, however, is even worse. After giving birth, Myah believes that baby Faith has some chance at a normal life. At one point, she describes baby Faith as "advanced". She does everything possible to keep her alive, feeding baby Faith through a tube because she can't coordinate sucking and swallowing, giving her medication after medication for her breathing difficulties, trying to find a pediatrician for her.

What's truly cruel is that Myah blames herself for her baby's death.

On May 23rd, 2009, Faith passed into Heaven. She died of a gastro-intestinal bleed. She did not die of anencephaly, as predicted. She died of a stomach ulcer... something that may have been prevented if we had found our Pediatrician a little sooner. It breaks my heart to think that if we had done things differently, that Faith might not have suffered the way she did. But I have peace knowing that she is safe in Heaven now, living a beautiful pain-free life.

No, Myah, you did not kill your baby. No pediatrician could have saved her. Yes, the medication she was on caused the ulcer, but without the medication, she would have died sooner. She had no chance at all. You did nothing wrong.

To make matters even worse, prolife groups published fairy tales about Baby Faith's short, painful existence.

When the baby was born, she was apparently able to both see and hear and suffered no health problems other than anencephaly. No medication was required in Faith’s daily care and she was able to breastfeed, although she also received nutrition through a tube.

That's an outright lie.

When the baby was born, she had half a skull. Almost every post after Baby Faith was born chronicled her health problems, from constant breathing difficulties to eye infections and bleeding ulcers and she took medication every day of her life.

If Myah had had an abortion, she could have moved on. Instead, she gave birth to a doomed child, came to believe she was not only normal, but advanced, and now blames herself for her baby's death. This is the malignancy of prolife ideology, and ideology that forces innocent women and children to suffer horribly. I can hope that baby Faith couldn't feel pain, but I doubt it. She could open her eyes, she could make noises and move her limbs, she could probably feel pain.

This is what "no abortion ever" forces upon its victims. It is evil.

I'm Prolife, So You Must Die

abortion, irony, prolife, prochoice, stupid, tiller,
Peter Heck, guest columnist for OneNewsNow, offers us The Tiller Ironies, a compilation of illogic and irrationality that when viewed by Irony, immediately caused a massive brain hemmorhage. Congratulations, Mr. Heck, you killed Irony.

Though predictable, it was no less despicable. Just a day following the heinous murder of the country's foremost practitioner of infanticide ummm, the legal medical procedure known as abortion?, George Tiller, radical anti-human rights activists on the left yeah, that was me. i hate human rights. stop breathing! were already condemning the entire pro-life movement for facilitating the incident.

Left-wing websites like the Daily Kos blamed conservative commentators Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck for causing it, the Huffington Post deemed it a morally outrageous hypocrisy, and PBS's abortion fanatic what? she attended abortions with a big foam finger and a flag that said "we're number 1!"? Bonnie Erbe went so far as to characterize the entire pro-life movement as a breeding ground for domestic terrorists. Of course rational people you actually know rational people? oh, of course, the nice people at the psych ward. recognize that it borders on clinical insanity to rail about the moral outrage of killing a single human being while simultaneously defending and advocating the wholesale slaughter of millions of others. i don't consider a fetus to be equal to a living, breathing human being. jackass. And just to make sure that there is no confusion on this point, let's be clear on what Tiller did for a living. you mean help real women with real problems? probably not. look, just to be clear, all this crap about "frivolous" late term abortions is just that: crap. abortions past 20 weeks are heavily regulated. you can't get one just because you changed your mind about having a baby. you can only get a late term abortion because your life is in danger or the fetus is severely ill or has a genetic abnormality that will make life impossible.

I will skip the graphic, and possibly untrue, descriptions of late term abortions. you are welcome to read them if you wish.

Again, these are full-term, completely viable infants capable of living outside the womb with totally developed life systems no, they're not. they're babies with no brains (NSFW), babies with severe genetic disorders that offer only a brief, brutal life– including the ability to experience pain. In short, Tiller practiced infanticide no he practiced medicine– and the left defended it. the practice of medicine? yes. Hearing these leftists now lament the taking of human life is disgracefully stomach turning. you know what, when you can carry a fetus for 9 months that will die immediately after birth, you come talk to me about stomach turning.

Notice then the irony of the situation. The only people in a position to truly express outrage over Tiller's murder are those that the left is attempting to blame for it. But this is just one of the numerous twists surrounding this tragic situation. i see. so, if i'm prochoice, i can't be outraged about murder. apparently, if someone comes along and kills my entire family, Mr. Heck expects me to walk away humming a cheery tune.

And then we get something that is irony, but not for the reason Mr. Heck thinks it is.

For instance, consider this irony: those that claim to be outraged by Tiller's murder will be calling for a lighter penalty than those they condemn for causing it. When Tiller's murderer is brought to justice, it will be those of us who oppose abortion that will be demanding his execution. The intrinsic value of human life (which, paradoxically, Tiller assaulted) is so great that anyone who violates it forfeits his own right to live.

so, being prolife automatically means being pro death penalty? ummm . . . do you not see the contradiction there, buddy? really? "i hate murder so much, I'll kill over it" doesn't set off any bells for you?

Meanwhile, it will be those on the left who proudly defended Tiller's life work that will call for a softer sentence. They consider the death penalty barbaric and find pro-lifers who advocate capital punishment inconsistent. "You can't be pro-life and pro-death penalty!" they shout. yeah. you spent paragraphs excoriating Dr. Tiller as a murderer for his legal medical practice, but you're all about the death penalty?

Evidently to them, being pro-abortion and anti-death penalty is somehow better?! Is there anything more ethically offensive then those who defend the right to life for convicted, murderous felons, yet strip that right from innocent newborn babies? yeah, it's not abortion if the baby is born. that is infanticide. step back from the rhetoric and actually read what you're writing. It is astonishing that anyone can be so blinded by their own self-righteous pomposity it is awfully bright over here that they fail to see this blatant moral incongruity. and now you're stealing my lines.

It's also notably ironic that the same ideological movement that demands we not castigate all Muslims for the actions of a few is so quick to violate its own precepts when it comes to this issue. We aren't hearing the throngs of Hollywood activists shouting that "most pro-lifers are peaceful," or seeing Democratic congressmen thumping their chests while proclaiming that "revenge against the pro-life movement for the actions of this one radical will not be tolerated." first of all, leave the muslims out of it. they weren't involved. secondly, was somebody planning a war against prolifers? what "revenge against the prolife movement"? oh, noes, we're being mean to them, horribly mean! it's just like the war in Iraq!

Indeed, the ironies surrounding the murder of this murderer are plentiful to say the least. But perhaps the most tragic of them all is that in the end, George Tiller met a brutal demise at the hands of someone who exhibited a blatant disrespect for the intrinsic value of human life...a lesson that Tiller – with the left's blessing – dedicated his life to teaching.
I see. Dr. Tiller was responsible for Dr. Tiller's death. do you also ask rape victims what they were wearing, Mr. Heck?