Rush May Not Be Racist, But This Metaphor Sure Is

racism, lynching, rush, limbaugh, nfl

[warning: graphic imagery below the fold]

Look, I don't know what Rush Limbaugh actually thinks. I know what he's said, and a lot of it's vile racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic deliberately inflammatory crap. It's the deliberately inflammatory portion of it all that leaves me with a tiny doubt. Maybe Rush Limbaugh is not racist, misogynist, homophobic and transphobic, but he certainly gets paid enough for appearing to be so. Loudly and crassly appearing to be so.

I don't think the NFL's refusal to allow Limbaugh to own an NFL franchise is unfair or improper. The NFL is a private organization. They can allow in or keep out whomever they please. If they don't want a drug-addicted, four times divorced, deliberately inflammatory shock jock who attempted to fly to the Dominican Republic with four other men and somebody else's prescription for Viagra into their little club, that's up to them.

It's in the best interests of the NFL to avoid politics as much as possible. You can't sell Super Bowl ad slots for almost $10,000 a second if NFL viewership is restricted to wingnuts, the only people who don't think there is good evidence that Limbaugh is racist. So it's understandable that the NFL really doesn't want to deal with the controversy of Limbaugh co-owning an NFL franchise.

Unless you are a wingnut, in which case you use the worst possible metaphor for the situation to drum up sympathy for poor Rush.

Rush's dismissal is a victory for political correctness, despicable reporting and high tech lynching. No need to fact check racist accusations against Rush, although a few researchers have pursued and failed to find the alleged racist statements. When it comes to Conservatives, the Left hangs them simply because they are Conservative.

. . .

The Left killed Rush's dream of owning an NFL team. A liberal media lynch mob dragged Rush's dream out into the public square and hung it by the neck until it was dead while the likes of Sharpton and Jackson laughed and cheered celebrating their victory.

A "high tech lynching"? "dragged out into the public square and hung by the neck"? for anyone not familiar with the term "lynching":

The lynching era encompasses roughly the five decades between the end of Reconstruction and the beginning of the Great Depression. During these years we may estimate that there were 2,018 separate incidents of lynching in which at least 2,462 African-American men, women and children met their deaths in the grasp of southern mobs, comprised mostly of whites. Although lynchings and mob killings occurred before 1880, notably during early Reconstruction when blacks were enfranchised, radical racism and mob violence peaked during the 1890s in a surge of terrorism that did not dissipate until well into the twentieth century"

This is what a lynching looked like:

Yeah, Rush Limbaugh being denied entree into the world of NFL franchise ownership is exactly like the picture above. Just like that. You fucking racist fuck.

Barack the Magic Negro

If someone does not know why this is very, very wrong, then I can only suggest one thing: admit that you are a racist. You are an ignorant, hateful bigot. You judge people on the basis of their skin tone, as if the amount of melanin in someone's skin could tell you anything at all about them. You are stupid.

We don't want you anymore. You don't belong here.

Shut the fuck up.

Go away.

We're not playing anymore.

(This goes for homophobes, too.)

Is Monday Misogyny Day?

Three articles, less than 30 minutes, 3 examples of sexism/misogyny.

Exhibit "3"? Rush Limbaugh excoriates Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg for: EATING IN PUBLIC. That's right, kids. Eating in public. Eating. In. Public. How dare a woman eat in public. It's, it's . . . oh, wait, what is it again? . . . rude. It's rude.

Here's Rush's take on the whole woman-eating-food thing:

Social skeletons or something, she's rich and she's thin and thin rich is in. Emaciated thin rich is in. So I was stunned, I just saw some videotape with Caroline Schlossberg sitting next to the Reverend Sharpton, and she was eating voraciously, which surprised me because when you look at Caroline Schlossberg, you don't think she focuses on eating too much.

Yeah, I'm thin, too. Really thin. Most stores don't carry clothes small enough to fit me. I've gotten quite good at tailoring. Keep in mind, I eat about 4,000 calories a day, most of that sugar. (It's probably some porphyria thing.) I hate being this thin. I hate not being able to find clothes that fit, I hate having bones sticking out, and I don't feel sexy about it. So you know what, Rush? Back the fuck off. You don't know Ms. Schlossberg. Maybe she's like me.

And then something else hit me. That was a major faux pas. Well sure. A woman enjoying food, right there in public, in front of everyone, is so rude I'm surprised the Rev. Sharpton didn't pass out from the shame.

I'm thinking, this woman, she doesn't even understand the basic. You do not allow yourself in public to be photographed eating. You just don't. You know this instinctively. Confirmation of my belief that Rush lives in the 1950s. I'm sure that at some point, a women being seen eating in public- and enjoying it, oh my!- was beyond the pale. Not anymore, baby! You can have your cake, then eat it, and have the best time ever doing it. In public, even!

Guilt by Association

(I'm not happy with Obama after the Warren pick, but I'm not letting the following idiocy go, either.)

Guilt by association can be summed up pretty easily: Bob is a criminal, Al is friends with Bob, therefore, Al is also a criminal.

Any sensible person could tell you that guilt by association is essentially unfair. We cannot control the actions of others, nor do we know every detail about everyone we know.We all know someone who does things, perhaps illegal, perhaps unethical, that we wouldn't want to be associated with.

Ever since the Blagoscandal broke, Rush Limbaugh has been guilting by associating Obama. His basic premise is: Blago is a criminal, Blago is from Illinois (land of felons), Obama is from Illinois, therefore, Obama was deeply involved in every minute detail of Blago's criminal activities.

If you're from Timothy McVeigh's home state, you were helping him build the bombs!

Dick Cheney Underestimates Us All

I know, you're shocked.

Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday that President-elect Barack Obama will "appreciate" the expansions of executive power achieved during the Bush administration and is unlikely to cede authority back to Congress.
"Once they get here and they're faced with the same problems we deal with every day, then they will appreciate some of the things we've put in place," Cheney said during an interview on Rush Limbaugh's radio show.

This is what psychopaths always say when they are confronted with what they have done. "If you could get away with what I've been doing, you'd do it, too. You're just jealous."

No, Dick, I'm not. I'm betting Obama isn't either. I certainly don't want to torture people, and I wouldn't, even if I had the option. I also wouldn't wiretap the whole damn country and do every other sick, self-serving thing you've done in your endless search for the power-orgasm.

You're done, Dick. You'll be up against the wall soon.

Rush Limbaugh Does Not Understand the Constitution

Rush Limbaugh apparently has never read the Constitution past the Second Amendment. (I'm partial to the Third Amendment myself, and who knows when you might need the Fifth?)


BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Dan in Pittsburgh, you're next on the Rush Limbaugh program abandon hope, all ye who enter here. Nice to have you, sir.

CALLER: Hey, how's it going, Rush? It's an honor and a privilege to speak to you.

RUSH: Thank you very much.

CALLER: Oh, boy. Where do I begin with this one? You stole half of my thunder there earlier about this kind of mess that we're all in here. It's Rush's show, how could he have stolen your thunder? If this is the change and the hope we can all expect, oh, my goodness, what have we gotten into? Obama isn't President yet. What the hell does caller expect Obama to have changed? That's like looking at a three-week-old baby and being disappointed that the kid doesn't walk yet. I mean, come on. This is phenomenal. What?! What is phenomenal? Your stupidity? I mean this has been nothing but 60 years of affirmative action realized BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 60 years ago was 1948. The civil rights movement didn't start until about 15 years after that. Education in this country does suck! and it's coming back and it's blowing up in our faces. MUSLIM!TERRORIST!He'sBLACK! I mean this is unbelievable. It's phenomenal. i'm still voting that it's caller's stupidity that is both unbelievable and phenomenal. I wish he'd stop using that word, I find it hard to type. pehnoemnal. Blatant crimes being committed -- What blatant crimes? Is he referring to Blagsomething? (can't spell that, either.) Blagsomething is on tape calling Obama a mothereffer because he wouldn't play along, so clearly Obama wasn't involved. Does he think that Obama should stop crime before it starts, a la Minority Report? That strategy didn't even work out for Tom Cruise.

RUSH: I must stop you here. You've been talking for way too long, and this is my show. I understand your incredulity, and I understand your shock. Care to explain it to the rest of us? I understand your awe. Is "awe", an overwhelming feeling of reverence, the right word here, or is he referring to the "Shock and Awe" campaign? (That didn't really work out, either.) You have to understand that not one person who voted for Obama cares a whit about this. ABOUT WHAT?! Not one person who voted Obama will associate Obama with this, WITH WHAT?! because they don't want to. I'm already exhausted. President-elect Obama will become President Obama in 40 some-odd days, 50 days, whatever it is. And he will lead the nation for the next four years or eight years, and maybe the next 12 or 16 years, as he attempts to emulate FDR.

Here's the proof that Rush stopped reading the Constitution after the Second Amendment (which might explain why he is so surprised that Obama was elected. Blacks didn't become citizens or gain the right to vote until the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Amendments).

The Twenty-Second Amendment to the Constitution, passed after FDR's fourth term, limits any one person two terms as President. The only way for this to change is to add another amendment to the Constitution nullifying the Twenty-Second Amendment. It is difficult to add amendments to the Constitution, requiring a complicated proposal process and ratification by 38 of the 50 states. It's just not happening. So here's Rush working people up about the Obama monarchy that simply cannot happen. (See also: forced abortions, loss of free speech, socialism, nullification of the second amendment)


FDR had four terms, prior to the passage of the 22nd Amendment and he wasn't a messiah he was a damn fine president. Obama is a messiah really, why didn't I get the memo? Is that somewhere in the latest revision of the Liberal Agenda? I haven't gotten around to reading it yet. Why is that people who actually voted for Obama do not refer to him as the messiah, and every wingnut in the country does?, and if he wants 16 years and four terms 16 years = 4 terms, is Rush trying to say 32 years? why can't conservatives do math?, who's to stop him? The Constitution. Now, I am your host as you know, ladies and gentlemen, the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-caring, all-feeling, all-concerned Maha Rushie. Boy, he just has messiahs on the brain, huh? And thus it falls on my shoulders to explain the Obama phenomenon, the presidency, president-electancy, to help you understand it, to evaluate it, and to co-exist with it. It is really quite simple. Yeah, actually it is. Obama was elected to be our next president, by a majority of USians. He will be president for 4 years. See, wasn't that simple?

All you need to understand about Barack Obama is it's not what he says. It's not what anyone says, it's what they do . . . reads ahead . . . oh, no wait, it's not? It is how he says what he says. It's not who you know or what you know about them, but how you say it? I thought actions spoke louder than words. Barack Obama can say anything, and it will not matter to those who voted for him because of how he says what he says. No, I'm pretty sure that if Obama announced he was taking my kidneys, no matter how he says it, I would still be unhappy about it. (There's just no good way to tell a person that you're taking their kidneys.) Not even his base, the kook-fringe left that's me!, understands this. This is something only I, a highly trained observer and broadcast specialist have made it possible for others to understand. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Allow me to tell you a little secret: if you're the only one who sees it in the whole world, it's not the world that's crazy, it's you! Try some Thorazine. It's not that Obama promised change. It's not in so many words, but if you understand english, check out the quote right under the title of my blog. He didn't specify much change. Only health care for everyone, and an end to the war in iraq. That's not a lot of change at all. It's that he said change. Didn't Rush just say that he didn't say "change" . . . reads back . . . oh, "promised" and "said", totally different things in this context. He said "change" in a way that resonated with people. yeah. the economy's going to hell, US soldiers and Iraqi civilians are dying, the health care system is broken, unemployment is up, retirement accounts are down, who needs change? Not Rush Limbaugh. He didn't have to tell people what kind of change; he just said "change." He totally specified what change! Even Tom Brokaw an actual highly trained observer and broadcast specialist doesn't get it yet, folks. On Sunday he asked Obama questions about one or two of his past statements. Tom, it doesn't matter what Obama said in the past. It's not what Obama says; it's how he says it. And this is the single greatest piece of advice I can offer you in helping you maintain your sanity I wouldn't take advice on sanity from a crazy person, but hey, it's up to you as this sitcom what? rolls on for the next 4 definite, 8 possibly, 12 nope or 16 definitely not years. It doesn't matter what he says, and if you get caught up in analyzing and parsing what he says, you are going to sound to an Obama voter like an absolute fool, and an idiot. well, yeah, but you already sound like an absolute fool to me, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

You want some proof? YES! Shall I illustrate this? YES! I'll be glad to do so. Twenty-four months ago Obama said he wanted us out of Iraq in 16 months. Twenty-four months ago. Twelve months ago, Obama also said in sonorous tones that he wanted us out of Iraq in 16 months. Last month, before the election, he once again said, in sonorous tones, he wants us out of Iraq in 16 months. No one cares that 16 months have come and gone and we're still in Iraq. Because Obama is not president yet, you moron! How the hell was he supposed to accomplish that one on his own? No one cares that he has said, oops, might be there a little longer than that, three years, maybe, maybe a hundred years, might build a base, they don't care. that's not what he said. at all. Don't care what he says. What they care about is how he says it.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT I wonder what happened here? The world will never know.

RUSH: Remember, my friends, it's not what Obama says, it's how he says it. You can keep saying it, that won't make it true. Unless . . . RUSHISDEADRUSHISDEADRUSHISDEAD . . . no, it doesn't work. He was going to lower the seas huh?; he was going to put people back to work HE's NOT PRESIDENT YET; he was going to create all these jobs wouldn't that be putting people back to work?, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then on Sunday he says "it's gonna get worse." Well, yeah, Obama can't change reality. But he said it with compassion and understanding, and he cares about us, he's warning us. It's not what he says; it's how he says it. If you're going to get caught up in what he says trying to make him out to be a hypocrite or whatever, it isn't gonna matter, not to the people who elected him, not to the people who love him, it's how he says what he says. He's a cult figure. You're the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-caring, all-feeling, all-concerned Maha Rushie, Rush. Glass houses, anyone?

Rush Limbaugh Says Palin Informed

It's finally happened: Rush Limbaugh has lost his final toehold on reality. We all saw this coming. It's not like he was really living here with the rest of us to begin with. (I wonder if he was a bombastic, egomaniacal child? Yet another reason I don't have kids.)

The following defense of Sarah Palin is priceless. It makes me wonder if he is thinking of someone else. Does he know some other Sarah Palin who is intelligent and educated and informed? Seriously, if my name were Sarah Palin, I would start using my middle name.

CALLER: Okay. My question... Well actually, before my question, I went to a McCain rally here in North Carolina, and a Palin rally otherwise known as a hate rally, two McCain rallies and one Palin rally so then I bought a sweater and a pair of jeans, and then two sweaters and another pair of jeans . . . and there were so many more people to see Palin than there was McCain yeah, hate rallies always were popular. And she has energized in my mind the base, the conservative base, like, "Hey, this is awesome!" and then I saw Miley Cyrus, and I was like, She's awesome! And, you know, a lot of people like me -- I'm 31 years old, a conservative -- we're thinking, "You know, Obama is in, but, hey, we had to go through Carter to get Reagan." There's a reason it's called "voodoo economics" These idiots always go on about Reagen being the greatest thing since the Republican party invented sunshine, why? The guy was far gone into Alzheimer's for his second term and this is their hero? It's very sad he was ill, and not his fault, but he should not have been President at that point. So I'm thinking we have to go through Obama to get Palin, unless Obama starts barbecueing puppies on the front lawn of the White House, unlikely but my question to you is: Why are all these Republicans out there, why don't they like her?

Seriously? This guy doesn't know why people don't like Palin? Let me count the ways: Ignorance, Arrogance, Hate Mongering, Complete lack of understanding of the position she was running for (the VP does NOT run the Senate). Palin wouldn't stand on the same stage as to Republicans who vote prochoice. How the hell was she supposed to fix the mess this country is in if she won't even stand next to people who disagree with her? How would she have dealt with foreign leaders if she can't make nice with USian leaders? It's insane.

RUSH: A-ha. A-ha. Okay, I want you to listen very carefully to this. Don't worry, Rush, we're all ears. It's a long answer that I'm going to try to make very brief. Not really. In the first place, when you say, "Why don't Republicans like her?" there's a whole bunch of different kinds of Republicans now. This is true. What comes next isn't. Like there's you and me, and we're conservative Republicans. Because liberal republican is a contradiction in terms. But we also have to deal with liberal and moderate or Rockefeller Republicans in our party. What was that, oxymorons on parade? So the party has lost its primary identity: strong national defense, tax cuts, smaller government. It's lost its identity. It doesn't believe smaller government is possible. The Republican Party has too many people who want the government to grow. Just spend the money on different groups of people in different ways in order to get votes. It's called liberalism lite. Nos, Rush, that's not the problem. The problem is the party has gone from the Buckleys of the world, intelligent, informed, passionate, to the Palins of the world, ignorant, bigoted, fundamentalists. The Republican party has been hijacked by anti-intellectual religious zealots. They want to turn our country into a theocracy, and have every university teach young earth creationsim. (see: Huckabee) They believe that prior to 1960 there was no premarital sex, no STDs, no teen pregnancy, no divorce, no abortion. In 1945, 90% of women had had premarital sex. Syphillis has been around forever. And my grandparents were married when my mother was born, but my grandmother was 17 and my mother was supposedly 3 months premature. Yeah, right. As for abortion, there were tens of thousands of abortions a year prior to Roe v. Wade, but because they were illegal, they frequently resulted in infection, sterility or death. (No matter what the prolifers say, abortion today is safer than pregnancy and childbirth, your only other option.)

They're calling it redefine conservatism. Sarah Palin makes them nervous because of precisely what you cited. She inspired and revved up a Republican Party to shout "n**ger" at a random black cameraman. Not something to be proud of . But there are people in the Republican Party who don't want it to stand for the things that she stands for. You'd think the Obama election would have taught everyone that standing for anti-intellectual religious zealoutry is a losing proposition. Guess not. I think her effectiveness is making her a target.

The Drive-By Media Anderson Cooper in a Ferrari! and the Democrat Party are also not fond of her no, Rush, we love her. We deperately want her to run in 2012. It went so well this time around., and they're doing everything they can to make her appear to be the face of the Republican Party, because they think most of the country despises her, too, based on exit polls. Did you just say that you love Sarah Palin? Yes. So why don't you want her to be the face of the party? Does Rush even listen to the words that come out of his mouth? You know, Barbara Walters in the interview I did with her last week asked, "You like Palin?"

I said, "I absolutely do." I said, "I think she was great." I said, "Why don't you like her?"

"She was uninformed," Barbara Walters said I'm guessing Barbara was thinking what I think about Palin. Almost 50 years of feminism and this dizzy bitch makes us all look bad. Thanks for setting us back 20 years, Palin, and a light went off in my head, because there is the template. The one interview she did with Katie Couric and they've all decided she's an idiot and she's uninformed. It wasn't just that one interview, Rush. The debate and every subsequent interview and her rallies proved her ignorance and bigotry. She couldn't open her mouth without making herself look bad. They do not know that there were people in the McCain campaign trying to sabotage her Yeah, sure. The McCain campaign was sabotaging THEIR OWN CANDIDATE. Hello? and that she was under tight controls, and she finally wanted to bust out unfortunate imagry and be who she is an ignorant, zealous bigot. Those of us that pay attention saw enough of who she is to realize that she is incredibly valuable to the conservative cause and the Republican Party going forward. *giggles and rubs hands together with glee* But to those that don't like her it's simply because of that, Tim, she's effective and she threatens the old boy network. Yeah, that's what it is. I resent her threatening the old boy netword. Because, as a 32 year old woman, I'm deeply invested in the old boy network. It's not a gender thing. True. She threatens the old boy network, but I'm telling you this is a fundamental thing to understand.

We can talk about Obama all we want here, and we can try to educate people as to what's coming down the pike. Health care for everyone! Soldiers out of Iraq! But one of the larger battles we have before we even talk about trying to defeat Obama again is defining who we are as a political party, because there is a huge battle going on. True. Try to pry the anti-intellectual religious zealots out of there, Rush. Good luck with that. There are so many factions of the Republican Party now, and many of them are gutless. How do they eat? Many of them, when they get to Washington, after being elected, go wobbly, they turn moderate because they think that's what you have to be to get along. We just ran a presidential campaign based on being moderate and reaching out to all these liberal Democrat voters, thinking that's the only way we can win, ignoring the blueprint for landslide victory. Yeah, McCain was so middle of the road. Yup. We got people who think we need to rerun this campaign over and over again. We gotta get rid of our conservative ideology. Arnold Schwarzenegger says we've gotta drop conservatism from the Republican Party. If the Arnold means religious zealoutry he's right. We've got our conservative intelligentsia wise men, these people in the media who also think that the worst thing that could happen to the Republican Party is to listen to me. Rush apparently doesn' learn from history. He is doomed to repeat it. So Tim, I'm telling you, we have a huge battle to define -- and the Republican Party is it because that's the only party that's going to oppose Democrats, well, duh, we have a two party system. and there's going to be a big battle for control of it. In many ways it's subtly already started, and it's going to intensify once next year gets going and Obama's actually inaugurated.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

I'm beginning to wonder if even Rush believes his own bullshit.

Megadittos, Rush!

Ann Coulter makes my stomach hurt.

Rush Limbaugh makes me froth at the mouth. It's the same sort of instinctive reaction that my dog has to cats. Once, my dog jumped through a glass window to get at a cat. Right through it. This resulted in multiple cuts, some of them quite deep, on his nose and muzzle. He didn't even notice. He kept on going at the cat.

That's my reaction to Rush Limbaugh. I hope never to see him in person, because that would result in serious trouble for me. (Not for Rush, I weigh 100 lbs in winter clothes.)

So bear with me as I attempt to dissect Rush Limbaugh *mmmmm* Limbaugh's words.

The Country is Still Conservative
November 12, 2008
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: This is James in Cincinnati. Nice to have you on the program, sir.
CALLER: Mega dittos, Rush. I can't imagine why people accept the appellation "dittohead" as a compliment. Think about what "ditto" means: "another of the same". Not at all different. I think Obama's great and Cliffy B. could possibly be god, but I don't want to be them. I'm me and I'm happy that way. It's really quite disturbing when you think about it.
RUSH: Yes.
CALLER: I got a very simple comment here. I think that there's a very simple solution to the conservative crisis end anti-intellectualism and kick the fundamentalist crazies out of the party? probably not. and the financial crisis in the country. this guy thinks it is simple - SIMPLE- to end the financial crisis in this country? Seriously? Yeah, it's so simple that you're the only one who thought of it. Yeah. It goes like this. Get out the electoral map, you flood the red states with conservatives, I thought the red states already were conservative. He wants to flood already conservative states with more conservatives? This is his plan? and you begin to actively promote the conservative way of life that half of Americans in this country want to live. What about the other half of the country? His plan is to make 1 in 2 people happy, and 1 in 2 people unhappy. This solves the financial crisis how? You know, family, free enterprise, freedom, and faith. As a liberal, I have to admit that I hate family, free enterprise, freedom and faith. Hate it. You bastards with your marriages and children, your jobs, your precious freedoms and god. How dare you! (As Jon Stewart pointed out, the tax rate currently is 36%, Obama wants to make it 39%. In what part of that 3% does this become socialism?) It would make the governors happy. Conservative governors, maybe. What about liberal governors? Basically, this guy's solution is to flip the happiness from liberals to conservatives. It would make the business leaders happy -- I'm way past making those fuckers happy. We give AIG bailouts, in the plural, and they throw fucking parties with the money. Fuck them.

RUSH: When you say flood these states, what do you mean, have people move there?
CALLER: Oh, sure, just like they do in California. The liberals flooded California and San Francisco and they create a little sort of liberal oasis. Damnit, who gave this guy a copy of the Liberal Agenda? Who? We can't just have that floating around, available to conservatives. Everybody get our your Agenda and read the first rule: There is no Liberal Agenda. Come on now, people!

Actually, the fact is that people of similar mindsets, whether they be political or religious or ethnic mindsets, tend to group together. "Birds of a feather flock together" is an astute observation. There was no liberal agenda to take over California, just as there was no conservative agenda to take over . . . say . . . the South.

There's no reason that conservatives can't do the same thing and, you know, make everybody well, half of everybody happy, business leaders, evangelicals and Catholics i've never noticed the love between evangelicals and catholics. generally, evangelicals consider catholics on par with muslims, if not satanists. besides, all this kumbaya stuff isn't very conservative. it's sort of socialist, all people of goodwill liberals and atheists are, by implication, not people of goodwill, happy.

Rush will now go off on a rant about how the country is really republican, republicans are the best people, obama shouldn't have won (HAHA HE DID)

RUSH: You know, it's interesting, I saw today the final county map, red state, blue state map by county, and if you just landed here from Mars, and you looked at that map, you would swear the Republicans won this thing in a landslide, if you didn't know where the population centers are. I guarantee you by county and by square mileage, we skunked 'em! By measurements that do not matter, we won! I wonder why Olympic athletes don't try this. "Yes, Michael Phelps was faster, which is the measurement of success in this sport, but I look far better in a speedo!" But then you look at the coasts, you look all up and down the Left Coast West Coast? my left, your left, what?, you look all up and down the East Coast, until you get past New Jersey and Maryland, DC, even Virginia, three counties in Virginia won it for Obama. Those three counties are microscopic on the map. Cows can't vote, Rush. But it's just amazing. The population centers feature big cities, of course, In general, that is what "population center" means. Unless you're in Kansas, and then the population center is the Miller's house, because they have 10 kids. and people who live in big cities are largely Democrat, and I don't know, for example, how many conservatives are going to want to move to a place like California. Wait for it. In 2 sentences Rush will claim that Republicans don't flock together like Democrats. Right after pointing out that Republicans wouldn't want to live in a liberal state like California. The cognitive dissonance on this guy probably explains the drug addiction. Look at the tax rate in California. How many conservatives who don't already live there, want to move to New York? I mean, you need a great job, a lot of money to live there. liberals don't need these things as well? NYC is expensive for everyone. Except the gays. That's part of their agenda. Sorry, there is no gay agenda.

Besides, conservatives don't Balkanize themselves. I will deal with this separately. From Wikipedia: Balkanization is a geopolitical term originally used to describe the process of fragmentation or division of a region or state into smaller regions or states that are often hostile or non-cooperative with each other. You may wonder about my quibble with Rush's use of the word "Balkanize". It's in the definition, specifically the words hostile and noncooperative. The United States is one country. It's divided into 50 states and then into various counties, cities, towns, etc., but all of this is one thing. Texas is not hostile or noncooperative with California. Austin, TX and Dallas, TX are not hostile or noncooperative with each other.

What Rush is describing is the first steps to civil war (see: Kosovo), and he's attributing that to Democrats. That's offensive. And untrue.

They live their lives; they want to be happy and so forth. Liberals don't live lives or want to be happy. We're vampires or some fucking thing. Liberals are the ones that organize in little communes yes! and cliques and cities when did "city" become a liberal thing? why is my agenda not updated? am I still on the mailing list? and so forth and only want to hang around with each other and themselves. I actually can't hang out with myself. I can be alone, but I can't hang out with myself. We're not that way in many regards. In some parts of country that happens to be the case it's an illusion!, but this map is just stunning. Ow! My eyes! And I'll tell you something else that's stunning. If you look at the counties, what I call the Hispanic border states racist much?, you go up the border of Mexico with Texas, the only blue counties in Texas, other than one outside of Houston, are right on the border with Mexico, and then you go into New Mexico, same thing, go into Arizona, pretty close, same thing, you go to California, you can see the Hispanic vote. You can see where it's gone. It's all blue. Well, not all, but I mean it's just amazing. Not really. Hispanics aren't idiots. All the racist antiimmigrant rhetoric finally caught up with the Republicans. And the Republicans think they're going to crack that by going out and acting like Democrats and just promising a better list of goodies? It ain't going to happen out there. It's not the way to do it. Rush is right, but for the wrong reason. If my husband calls me a bitch, he's not going to be forgiven because he hands me flowers. You can't spend years working on your racist rhetoric, then give the target of your tax break and expect them to forgive you. This makes Hispanics significantly smarter than fundamentalists, who vote on abortion solely and are thus easily dismissed. Let me play this audio sound bite right now. Andrea Mitchell Nightly News last night, she had a report about Chris Shays and I all over the news yesterday and last night, also in this report.

because I enjoy watching the Republican party fall all over itself figuring out where they went wrong, I will give you this.

MITCHELL: Is the party over? As Republican governors prepare to meet in Miami to debate what went wrong and who will lead them out of wilderness, Republicans have to resolve their identity crisis. Do they want to follow moderates like Chris Shays, who lost his Connecticut House seat?

SHAYS: You gotta reach out to African-Americans, you gotta reach out to Latinos, and you gotta be an inclusive party, and we aren't right now, but we will be. Shays recognizes half the problem. In high school, the power clique gains power by excluding everyone. This doesn't work in an election. Shays is missing the other half of the problem: the Republicans ran on fear, the Democrats ran on hope. (Of course, the albatross that is Bush hanging around McCain's neck didn't help much either.) Fear only motivates for so long. Eventually, people get tired of being afraid, and try something new.

MITCHELL: Or should the party align itself with traditional conservatives? If the "traditional conservatives" you are discussing are Goldwater conservatives, this might work. If the "traditional conservatives" you are discussing are racist, fearmongering, fundamentalist anti-intellectuals, this will not work.

RUSH ARCHIVE: We can get women, we can get everybody with a set of core principles that we do not abandon that benefit everybody, regardless the damned color of their skin or their gender! More "liberals are unprincipaled, immoral heathens" rhetoric. It didn't work for McCain, Rush. It won't work anymore. Starving the poor, killing innocent civilians and allowing working people to suffer and die for lack of health care are not principals. They are bad policy. Usians have spoken. (The working definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Make of that what you will.)


RUSH: That was from yesterday, and I stand by that. I'm consistent within a 24 hour period! We start going after groups of Americans, Does anyone else get a little nervous when the political party funded by religious crazies and gun nuts starts saying things like "going after"? the middle class, Wal-Mart people the entire US? Has he been to Wal-Mart lately? I hate Wal-Mart and I shop there. Oh, yeah, Rush is rich, he probably never has been to Wal-Mart. This is probably a code phrase for "poor people" or "welfare queens". and then the Kmart people boat people? and let's go get the Starbucks crowd liberal, beret-wearing gay elitists!and let's go get this group, Hispanics foolish Hispanics, you have drawn the attention of Darth Rush. You shall pay.

Loser -- we just did that! Conversational shift I didn't quite follow. We just did it. The architects of this should be disqualified from running another Republican campaign. Karl Rove should be disqualified from ever interacting with human beings again. When in McCain's campaign did anyone make a push to bring in hispanics and poor people and boat people and liberal, beret-wearing gay elitists? They didn't. They tried to scare the pants off all those people, which is different. If Rush doesn't see the difference between scaring people and embracing people, his foreplay must be very . . . interesting.

Set of core principles that improve life for every rich human being (gays, blacks, women and hispanics may or may not be human beings) in the country, and you will attract them, I don't care where they were born, I don't care what their skin color is, what their gender is, what their sexual orientation, none of that. You attract enough of them to win. because gays, blacks, hispanics and women are too stupid to figure out that Republican policies are badbadbad for them. good luck with that, rush!

END TRANSCRIPT

Rush Limbaugh, Bound and Gagged

No, not really. That would be awesome, though. *sigh*

We're going to read a transcript of a Limbaugh show in which we learn that Limbaugh does not exist in the universe we exist in. Clearly, Limbaugh lives in some alternate dimension populated by duplicates of people in this universe who do/did things that never happened here. Basically, the Limbaugh Show is a news report of events in that alternate universe. (or Limbaugh didn't do as well in rehab as he says he did.)

CALLER: Me neither. We have Ms. Palin back so we're happy here. I had a question about what I see as an unusual amount of pressure by the Obama pre-elect staffers and how much they're trying to get done prior to Obama becoming the actual president. Do you see this as different in situations in the past, that there is an excessive amount of pressure to get Bush to do things that he wouldn't normally do such as more aid and bailouts and stuff?

Yeah, I don't get Alaskans either. I'd be way happier with Palin gone. I especially like "more aid and bailouts and stuff?" What stuff? Acting like a decent human being? Being presidential? As for what Bush "wouldn't normally do", ummm . . . what is a "normal" response to an extreme situation? Our economy hasn't been in this much trouble since the great depression. That would be like saying that your coworker, whose mother, father, wife and six kids all died in a fire last week, was acting "a little off."

Obama is thuggish (BLACK!) blahblahblah thuggish behavior (BLACK!) blahblahblah Chicago thugs (THEY'RE ALL BLACK!) and then . . . I think Bush could teach Obama a lot reality about what's going on in the world. I'll bet there was some of that, but we've heard... Julie, it's a great question, because do you remember when Senator McCain, decently and graciously suspended his campaign to fly to Washington to save the country during the financial crisis? Do you remember that?

*Wipes coffee off of screen* I'm not even going to address whether or not Bush exists in this universe, though vacationing through Katrina and reading through 9/11 points to NO. Senator McCain decently and graciously suspended his campaign? How? By giving interviews and running political ads? And then attending the debate he said he wasn't going to attend? Hey, I'm going to be out of work for the next few days . . . but I'll continue to show up and do my job, the difference will be all in my attitude!

And, when did the financial crisis end, exactly? Layoffs continue, unemployment mounts, the real estate market is fading faster than a freshman at his first frat party and the stock market is doing its best impression of a pinball machine. But really, the financial crisis ended the moment McCain "resumed" his "suspended" campaign.

NEXT: Limbaugh misses the point entirely

There's something "creepy" about the guy. In fact, he has created this "creature" that we all see. I'm quoting Newsweek here, by the way, if you're just tuning in. Jon Meacham, Evan Thomas wrote he's creepy; very creepy, very singular. He makes that acceptance speech and kicks the kids and the wife backstage. Scram, Michelle! Get the hell outta here; it's my time now! You come back when I'm finished. And, by the way, go unlock Biden, he's in the bar. And when he go off the airplane yesterday in Washington to go meet the president, got off the plane alone. We know Michelle was there because she ended up getting out of the limo at the White House. (interruption) You gotta be kidding me! You have got to be kidding. I did not know that! They took separate flights? They took separate planes? He chartered...?

That's not creepy, Limbaugh. That's a sad commentary on this country and the nutballs you and Palin worked up into frenzies. (The natural result of Palin constantly calling Obama a terrorist and Hussein was a crowd calling a random camerman the "n" word.)

Obama was worried that he was a target for assassination. He was afraid that anyone else on the stage with him would either (1) also be a target, or (2) be shot by accident. That's not "creepy" gesture, that's a loving gesture. I wouldn't put my loved ones in danger, either, Limbaugh, but I guess you're ok with it.

NEXT: Limbaugh is "shocked" and "stunned" that Michelle and Barack Obama arrived in separate airplanes. Then, I will be both shocked and stunned that the sky is blue, water is wet and Limbaugh is an asshole.

You know, sometimes it's the way people with families think. There's something creepy about this, though, folks, I must admit. I am stunned. I am shocked. I'm... I'm... Well, I'm not speechless. That never happens. But they took separate chartered flights, because you know she didn't fly commercial. There was no way she was going to fly commercial. So he chartered two airplanes. She has to have gotten in early. She's waiting for him in a limo, he gets off the airplane waving singularly -- very, very creepy -- and he gets in the limo, and she's there? And then they're drive there? Oh, well, I know she was in the same limo because they got out together. But, there was a decoy limo as well.

Again, what is it about legitimate security concerns that is creepy, shocking and stunning? The Pres and VP never travel on the same airplane, is that creepy, shocking and stunning? Ah, they're BLACK! BLACK!

Oh, Limbaugh, I'm shocked! stunned! creeped out! at how consistently you manage to entirely miss the point, then catch it, then mangle it beyond recognition, then mount it on your wall, still bloody.