Friday, February 27, 2009

Rush Limbaugh IS That High

rush limbaugh, rush, misogyny, feminism, feminist, stupid, asshat,
Rush Limbaugh can't figure out why women hate him.

Really.

I'm serious.

He just noticed this. He can't figure out why.

Yes the same Rush Limbaugh who said that "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society."

and

"We're not sexists, we're chauvinists -- we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want."

and

"She comes to me when she wants to be fed. And after I feed her -- guess what -- she's off to wherever she wants to be in the house, until the next time she gets hungry. She's smart enough to know she can't feed herself. She's actually a very smart cat. She gets loved. She gets adoration. She gets petted. She gets fed. And she doesn't have to do anything for it, which is why I say this cat's taught me more about women, than anything my whole life." --on his cat

In fact, he has convened a "summit" to try and figure out why women hate him.


BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to do the Female Summit today, by the way. We will do the Female Summit in the third hour of the program today, and the reason we're going to do the Female Summit is Public Policy Polling in North Carolina published a national poll on your beloved host, El Rushbo. They found I've got 46% approval, 43% disapproval, but I got a huge gender gap. I wonder why? My gender gap between men and women is 31%. Thirty-one percent is the differential between male approval and female approval. The fact that any women at all approve of Rush is incredibly disturbing. So yesterday I said, "What can I do about this? Exercise your Second Amendment rights? Stop exercising your First Amendment rights?What could be done? What is the explanation for this? you're a misogynistic asshat. for starters."

'Cause I'm just a harmless i wish little compared to what? fuzzball. I'm the sweetest, the nicest, most generous, compassionate i don't think he knows what any of those words mean, confident, cocky i'll grant you "confident" and "cocky", but why do you think women like cocky?, I-know-what-I-want-and-I-know-what's-right-and-I'm-going-to-say-what-I-think again, why do think this would be an attractive trait to any sane person? kind of guy you could run into, and I'm saying to myself, "What could be the explanation for the gender gap? probably something unfortunate about men. I should try to understand it myself." Why not do a Female Summit, with breakout groups and the whole thing, like Obama does, on Social Security and electricity and procurement. So we're going to do a Female Summit. It may take more than one day, depending on the answers we get. i'm guessing any answer you get that doesn't affirm your own opinion of yourself won't be heard anyway, so this should take about 3 minutes. I've got a lot so far in e-mail, by the way. But what will happen, we're going to take calls only from women in the last hour of the program today. Very rarely do I define requirements for callers. isn't there some commandment about lying? But today, I am going to do so. For the purposes of the Female Summit, it would make no sense for women to call and say how much they love me. clearly, they don't.

We already know that there are many who do, and we know why. We need to hear from women who don't particularly love me, who don't particularly like me, or from women who do like me who know women who hate me me!me!me! , who can tell me why. you judge women on looks alone. you think a female cat and a human woman are the same thing. you think chauvanism is what women want. But more than that, we need calls from women who will have suggestions for what they think I should do to close the gender gap SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP.-- and, I must add, some of you may think I should not worry about it. You can say that, too. The only thing off-limits is fawning love, adulation, devotion. since when? We'll save that for Open Line Friday. But today, the Female Summit must offer constructive criticism and hopefully some solutions a rope, a goat and a train., then I'll take it. You know, on a call-by-call, case-by-case basis. So what will happen right before the final hour, Snerdley will screen all the calls -- or he'll broom 'em. if they aren't displaying the proper catly attitude.


At the break at the top of the hour for the third hour begins is when we will start taking calls only from women. Now, we've done this before. We are highly trained broadcast specialists BWAHAHAHAHAHA, so we know it's going to happen. A bunch of men going to call trying to disguise their voices. what?! We'll catch you. A bunch of men are going to put their girlfriends or wives on the phone to fool us so that when it's their turn to get on the air the guy will actually be there. apparently, i don't listen to the Rush Limbaugh often enough. (well, ever.) I want to warn you: anybody caught trying to perpetrate a trick on this program and your host will be met with in a most direct, and what you might consider unkind, way. you'll hang up the phone? The first moment that I sniff deceit, you're gone. I will break my rule of never hanging up on anyone yeah, right. that's why you screen calls. asshat and do it today. We're serious about the Female Summit. you don't understand the meaning of "serious", either?

It's a crisis point in our country today so we'd better figure out why the girlies don't love the rush!, and we haven't got time to fool around with jokers, practical jokers. he is absolutely convinced of this bizarre men-pretending-to-be-women scenario, isn't he? I'm the king of those. that would explain a lot. I spot them before anybody knows they're coming. it's Rush's superpower! So get ready. Gear up for the final hour today being the first ever Rush Limbaugh Female Summit on the EIB Network. Now, this is not nitpicking, because Obama thinks that there are 57 states. what the hell does that have to do with anything? (if you include US territories and protectorates, you get 57) He said that during the campaign. But I need to ask you people a question: Who invented the automobile? what does that have to do with women hating Rush? WTF? Oh! One thing about the Female Summit: sorry, no transsexuals. you're getting warmer, Rush. We're not going to have anybody who's had an addadictomy we call those sex reassignment surgeries, or gender reassignment surgeries. and anyone who had an "addadictomy" would be a MAN, and therefore ineligible for the Female Summit. Asshat., and we're not going to have anybody who's had a chopadickoffamy. you're so disgusting. We're going to have women from birth.

Nothing against transgenders, nothing against transsexuals oh, puhlease. you hate transexuals like you hate latinos, blacks and women, but that doesn't apply because they weren't polled. Only women were polled in this. the pollsters checked to make sure they were registered as women at birth? really? So if you had an addadictomy, you can't call here and say you used to be a woman. It ain't gonna work. And if you had a chopadickoffamy and you used to be a guy, you cannot call here and say you're now a woman. You can try it, but it isn't gonna work. how many transexuals does Rush think listen to his show? i'd be surprised if it were one. and he or she is probably doing it for research. Now, we ask that all of you be honest. We ask that all of you be sincere in our effort here to close the El Rushbo gender gap based on the polling from Public Policy Polling. I just got a note: "Can employees participate in the All Female Summit?" Can employees participate? Well, I assume so, but the employees must go through the regular channels. There will be no preferential treatment shown to callers. except taking nontransexual female callers only.

[more on how you just can't fool Rush Limbaugh]

We're looking for stories from women who actually have big problems with me and are able to explain to me what they are so I can react to it. by insulting them, no doubt We're trying to get to the bottom of something here. We want this to work, we want this to have an effective climax pffft! so that there is something at the end of the hour from which I can learn and maybe improve and get better. We won't know 'til we start taking phone calls. But if you try to fake us out, if you try to -- by the way, there's nothing wrong with transgenders and transsexuals, but no transgenders and no transsexuals. If you've had an addadictomy, please don't call. If you've had a chopadickoffamy, please don't call. again! We'll let you in on another occasion. This is for women who have been born women and stay that way. please, please explain this to me? did Rush recently find himself fucking a hooker with a dick or something?

this caller is a fan who attempts level some valid criticism at rush, with no success:

CALLER: First I want to congratulate you on your success in radio and thanks for letting me be a part of your summit. *gag* I agree with your politics, but I don't routinely listen to your show because of certain things you say. The first time I listened to your show you were criticizing a liberal woman's blog, and I was fine with your criticism, and at the end of your criticism said something to the effect of, "Well, at the end of the day she's a babe so it doesn't really matter anyways," and you were referring to the columnist. After you said she was "a babe," you know, in my mind and maybe in the mind of many other women listening, you totally diminished what you had said previously about her column. yes, exactly. you reduced her to her looks, stating outright that it doesn't matter what she does, as long as she's pretty. women don't like that, Rush. And, you know, in this time I think, you know, conservatives, we really need to pull together. And you, Rush, as a great leader and speaker for conservatism, you don't need to dilute your message with who's hot and who's not. You know, leave that to someone else who has nothing better to say. Rush doesn't have anything better to say, but good advice.

RUSH: Well, but what if the fact that being a babe is the most notable thing about a particular liberal blogger? it's not. but even if it were, then don't say anything at all. I mean, I'm looking for something nice to say after having ripped a liberal blogger for being wrong, because she's a liberal, she can't possibly be right, and so I'm looking for something positive. yeah, i'm sure that complete dismissal of her as anything other than an object of lust was motivated purely by your natural instinct to fairness, rush. If she's a babe, she's a babe. What is...? You know men can't help but notice these things. I guess you're saying, "Yeah, go ahead and notice, but don't mention it." yeah. it's fine to notice what someone looks like, you don't have to make it the only issue. asshat.

CALLER: Yeah. I mean, you know, she might not take that as a compliment. i sure wouldn't take being dismissed that way as a compliment. I'm not saying I agree with liberals, but she probably worked very hard. yeah, she probably did.

RUSH: Oh, time-out.

CALLER: (giggles)

RUSH: This is a teachable moment for me. i doubt it. Are you telling me that there are women who do not appreciate...? being dismissed as anything other than an object of a man's lust? yes! that shouldn't be surprising! See, I thought we were past this. who could possibly get past that? When I was in my early twenties, Deborah, in the 1970s in Pittsburgh --

CALLER: Mmm-hmm?

RUSH: -- that was the birth of the modern era of feminism; and I'm telling you; if you complimented a woman on her appearance, it was a negative; because they were trained as, "Oh, is that all you see? Well, what about my brain?" It was frustrating to me. don't fucking bring it up if you know you will be offending someone. it's called common courtesy. get some. it's free. You couldn't open a car door! I'm not making this up. It was a very formative experience to me. apparently not formative enough Women do not want to be told how good they look because they thought they were being objectified or seen in a lesser stature yeah., but men cannot help this. men can't help noticing whether or not women are attractive to them. they can hold their tongues. asshat. God created us this way. It's what ends up in there being babies. misogyny leads to babies?

CALLER: Yeah, but, you know, talking about it on the radio doesn't make babies. that's actually a pretty good response.

RUSH: You never know. i don't care how superpowered your sperm are, rush, you can't talk people pregnant.

CALLER: (giggles) I don't think women appreciate that. no, we don't

RUSH: The fertility rate of this program has been quoted as being fairly high. please tell me he's kidding.

CALLER: (giggles) Well, I think you need to get rid of terms like "infobabe." yeah, that, too. you go, deborah! I mean, I know you might like being called an "infohunk," but...

RUSH: I invented the term!

CALLER: (giggles)

RUSH: It's creative and it's artistic, and it is a signature term. it's offensive and misogynistic and if you were genuinely interested in changing, you'd stop it right now.

CALLER: Well, I think it might be a big turnoff for a lot of women. You know, when I hear that term, I -- oh, Deborah, just give up now. he's not honestly interested in your opinion.

RUSH: I would say they need to lighten up, for crying out loud! if i offend you, it's you're fault! Why do I have to change who I am? you're the one who asked for advice on how to change, asshat! Why can't they just lighten up? *sigh* Infobabe! Why can't they laugh? being dismissed as nothing more than an object of your lust isn't funny, that's why. What is the problem with being light and lovable and just smiling now and then? if you actually were light and lovable that wouldn't be a problem. Why must everything be said through gritted teeth and anger? i don't know rush, that's your schtick.

CALLER: It doesn't have to be that way, but you don't have to label it as an "infobabe." poor deborah, she still assumes he's interested in an honest exchange of ideas.

RUSH: (laughs) I'm not going to change that. That is a signature. I mean, that's been picked up. by other misogynists, no doubt. Even if I stop using it, everybody else out there is using it. well, you should totally objectify women because other people do. I guess next I should stop using the term "anchorette." *headdesk*

well, i hope you got the point, guys, cause there's only so much of that i can take.

6 comments:

  1. I read today that he had done this. What a moron. Putting aside the fact that after all these years he's still relavent enough for people to listen to him, How on earth can that many women listen to him?? You don't even have to be a feminist to be offended by him, he's insulting. Not to just to women either, to humans. He gives me the screamin' heebie-jeebies.

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  2. I find it disturbing that anyone can listen to him- and he's the de facto leader of the GOP!

    Sorry, I can only think about that for so long before my blood pressure gets into stroke zone.

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  3. i am fucking AMAZED that you could listen to him at ALL.

    i hear his voice, and i can FEEL my blood preasure spiking. just hearing his voice, not even anything he SAYS anymore, just the VOICE.

    erm... is this hatred? is this hatred that will get me banned? i mean... i think hating Rush is a sign of sanity...

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  4. my father used to listen to him. on long drives. i used to envision hell as just an endless car ride, listening to rush limbaugh.

    hating rush is definitely a sign of sanity. if you ever start liking rush, psych ward, stat!

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  5. i'm just glad that my sanity doesn't get me banned.

    not that i am *sane*. but, you have to be insane to stay sane in this world. really.

    but at least i don't polish that statement, say it comes from God, and expect everyone else to do what i say because advertisers like me.

    (i didn't really think you would ban me for saying i hate Rush lol. i just thought you'd laugh at my silliness.)

    ReplyDelete

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