Monday, September 13, 2010

The Atheists Are Coming!


We're like killer bees*, apparently.

In todays newspaper in Oklahoma City we were awakened to the fact that the Atheists have come to our State. They have put up a billboard and this is what is says: "Don't believe in God? Join the club." There are 3 chapters started in the Oklahoma City area. The billboard was paid with funds from the National Chapter. It is of course causing quite a stir. Most people here believe we are the buckle of the Bible belt. What is so amazing is they run their club as if it is a church. Satan is working harder and harder these days to lead people astray. He knows his time is short.

Honey, the atheists were already there. We're not an invading force, we're your neighbors, coworkers, family members and, quite likely, one or two of your fellow church attendees. As for running our "club" like it's a church, have you considered that most churches are run like clubs? There's only so many organizational models to use. Also, Satanists are an entirely different club.

Ridiculous. That's like saying, "Don't believe in Bigfoot? Join the club (about not believing in Bigfoot so we can talk about the Bigfoot that doesn't exist and also convince other people that Bigfoot doesn't exist)." I don't believe in flying purple potatoes, so should I start a club about that?

I dunno, is belief in Bigfoot espoused by 75% of the population? Is not believing in Bigfoot the sort of thing that makes friends and family members hate you? Is aBigfootism a roadblock to serving in public office? Is anyone attempting to legislate according to their beliefs in Bigfoot? Is your example a poor one? Yes, yes it is.

Let's face it, everywhere we look, we are going to see hatred for God. This is why we need to be on our knees and prayer in these last days. If it were not for my hope in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, I'd go plum insane!

I'm sorry your sanity is hanging by such a thin thread. Have you considered counseling?

All of the churches in your area need to join forces, and raise money to put up your own billboards! But don't stop there. Wouldn't it be wonderful if all the churches could get together and sponsor some special events, like a cookout at a local park, with some organized games, and short rally to inspire Christians to reach as many for Christ as we can since the time is short, and call it "Reach Out To An Atheist Day". Take out a full page ad in the local newspaper, and maybe advertise it on a billboard. It would wake up some Christians, and some atheists might even get saved! There's nothing like an 'in your face' atheist to stir up the passive Christians.

Those atheists would be groaning...."Why did we ever put up that billboard?" hahaha

Billboards for Jesus? That would be . . . just like normal, everyday life. Count the churches you pass on your way to work or the grocery store. Count the crosses you see people wear every day. Count of the number of times people mention god in any given day. You don't really need to advertise, guys.



*Remember that? The killer bees were moving up from Mexico and we were all going to die. And then nothing.

12 comments:

  1. The message: "Don't believe in God? Join the club."

    How Atheists see the message: "You're not the only one who doubts, disbelieves, and/or finds the whole thing silly. (If you do believe, this message isn't directed at you.)"

    How Certain Strains Of Christian see the message: "SATAN IS COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN!!! ATHEISTS HATE CHRISTIANITY! CLEARLY THESE ARE THE LAST DAYS! PRAY NOW! PRAY HARDER! KEEP PRAYING!!!"

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  2. In todays newspaper in Oklahoma City we were awakened to the fact that the Atheists have come to our State. They have put up a billboard and this is what is says: "Don't believe in God? Join the club." There are 3 chapters started in the Oklahoma City area.

    Weird. I recall fistpumping at the sight of one of those billboards in Tulsa. Back in January.

    I imagine OKC is at least somewhat more progressive than Tulsa, what with it being the home of a major university and all. So what hole has this person been living in?

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  3. Why do they hate Bigfoot? Don't they know He loves Them? Whoops, I mean them.

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  4. i just have to wonder - if they react this was to atheists, and they act like they do when they know they're talking to a Pagan [dear fucking GODS - if i hear that fucking mistranslated verse ONE MORE TIME, i'm gonna cave and let Pete do that mod he wanted, putting a shotgun in my cane!] then how would they act in the presence of ACTUAL SATANISTS? or worse, since satanists don't actually worship Satan, in the presence of honest-to-Lucifer SATAN WORSHIPPERS?! [Satanism = philosophy, NOT religion, that is essentially based on being selfish, and espouses the idea that being selfish really leads to doing the right thing; Satan Worship, on the other hand, is essentially Catholosism in drag.]

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  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  6. actually the atheists are all DEAD!

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  7. DM: actually the atheists are all DEAD!

    Once again proving my theory that Texas is, in all actuality, Hell. Because that's the only way I'm dead.

    But we covered this when DM left death threats on my blog. And when he left death threats on Michael Mock's blog.

    Still:

    WE'RE NOT DEAD, DIPSHIT!

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  8. @ Geds - well, you know there are all different kinds of dead: the Restless Dead, the Hungry Dead, the Living Dead, the Grateful Dead... and then of course there's us, the Talkative Dead.

    Despite the reports of our death, we're still remarkably chatty. And despite DM's assertion that the atheists are all dead, he's still trying to talk to us. In other words, he's practicing necromancy, in open defiance of Biblical law.

    Or else he's using some strange new definition of the word "dead" which nobody understands but him. ...Naw, that can't be it.

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  9. Shall I go down the highway here in Oklahoma and take pictures of all the Christian billboards? There are now 2 atheist billboards in all of Oklahoma, let the persecution of Christians begin.

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  10. Or else he's using some strange new definition of the word "dead" which nobody understands but him. ...Naw, that can't be it.

    Well, he did claim that our souls were dead. Fortunately I happen to know that the soul weights three-fourths of an ounce, so I did a little experiment. I stepped on the scale the morning DM said I was going to die. I stepped on the scale the next morning. I weighed exactly the same both mornings!

    Ergo, my soul did not die.

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  11. oh, yeah - Geds - Texas *IS* Hell*! just read the novel "Job" by Robert Heinlein! it explains *EVERYTHING*!

    i sent PF a copy - she can tell you!!!


    *ok, technically it's an ANNEX of Hell, but still!

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