Bitch, Please

This is exactly why any American freakout over immigration is inherently hypocritical. pic link.

And Jesus Said Unto Them: I Got Me an iPad, so STFU

Ray Comfort, who swears he's not running Living Waters for the money, had this to say today about science:

I am for progress in scientific education. I text, tweet, and blog. I have an iPod, and iPad, and an iPhone*. I live on the Internet, have a cool and very fast laptop, and love HD and 3D TV. Our TV program uses the latest technology and graphics, and I am always excited whenever something new comes out in the field of genuine science.

Ignoring that apparently the only "genuine" science out there is being done by Apple, does this look like the sort of list that should be compiled by a man who claims to speak for this guy:

Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

Maybe iPhones do not fall under the heading of "possessions"? Hypocrisy, thy name is Ray Comfort.

*Why would anyone need an iPhone and an iPod? The iPhone is an iPod with phone service.

Reflections on a Church Going Past

If you've never regularly attended a Christian church (of any variety), then you don't know what time of year it is. If you have, you know that warmer weather heralds the annual Churchwear Debate, wherein followers of this guy:

James 2:5. Did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?

have a conniption fit about what is appropriate to wear to a church service. This is motivated by the fact that warmer weather encourages people to wear shorts, shorter skirts and tank tops, and you just can't worship god with exposed arms or legs. I've seen these posts from everybody from Catholics to Death Cult Fundys and reminds me of why my family stopped attending weekly Mass when I was 13.

We attended Mass every week, without fail, and then got a dozen doughnuts from Dunkin' Donuts (or another doughnut shop depending on where we lived at the time, but I remember the DD box distinctly for some reason) on the way home. I, for one, was in it for the doughnuts. We were poor growing up. I didn't really appreciate how poor, other than to note that I couldn't get all the stuff my friends had: video games, toys, cool clothes, etc. Possibly most embarrassing to my mother was that she couldn't get Sunday Best for her children. Actually, after paying for the ridiculously expensive Catholic school and the equally expensive uniforms*, my mother didn't have a lot left over for other clothes.

So we went to Mass in the best we could put together, which mostly involved being clean. The old ladies would sniff as we sat ourselves in the back, and mean girls from school would point and giggle while wearing yet another new Sunday dress. We did not attend Mass on Easter Sunday because that was too much humiliation. Everyone else in a fancy new dress and a hat. I mean, a special hat to be worn once and replaced next year? Now that's wealthy!

Lest you think this is confined to Catholic communities (emphasis mine):

modest and clean and if you have any suits or other expensive modest clothing i would suggest to honor God.no shorts,mini skirts,muscle shirts not too tight or too loose or any other clothing that's not appropriate to wear to a church.my take anyway. the phrase "Sunday Best" still means a lot to me.

Yeah, it means a lot to me, too. It means that after a woman who inherited a fortune from her father lectured my mother on the meaning of "Sunday Best" we never had to go to Mass again, and the next year we started at public school. And then we had money for cool clothes.

*I don't know why those uniforms are supposed to sexy. It's an ill-fitting, below the knee jumper in an ugly plaid and an oxford shirt. Seriously, guys, wtf?

And they're upset about teabagging? RLY?

Yet another conservevangelical republibagger has been caught out with a hooker. This particular hypocrite, Dr. George Rekers, works with NARTH. NARTH "upholds the rights of individuals with unwanted homosexual attraction to receive effective psychological care". Since the hooker in question had an online profile (previously outed, don't worry), let's see how effective that psychological care is.

Massage, good times, Travel, escort for days, nights and weekends, My name's Geo. 20 year old, 5'9'', 130 pounds, 28'' waist size,8x6" UNCUT, VERSATILE, NICE ASS. Puerto Rican, fair/light-Skin, blond hair, blue eyes and athletic/muscular built. I'm a college guy, masculine, educated, really easy-going, great to get along with, can hold a conversation and passionate You could just say I love to have a good time. Very clean, professional, HIV and Disease FREE. For a sensual meet or companionship. Will do anything you say as long as you ask ;D Repeat encounters are always more exciting for me and make it more casual and comfortable for you as well. Call or text anytime.

Oooh, he's educated, passionate and . . . UNCUT. And a college guy. Who knew "attending college" was as important a qualification for gay hookers as it is for female strippers*? You do learn something new every day, I guess.

Geo's vital stats:

Weight: 132lbs (60kg), Height: 5' 9" (175cm), Body Hair:Smooth, Build: Lean/Swimmer, Eye Color: Blue, Hair Color: Blonde, Foreskin: Uncut, Cock Size: Large, Safe Sex: Always Safe, Sexual Position: Versatile, Sexual Orientation: Bisexual,Drugs: Non-Drug User, Smoking: Non-Smoker, Ethnicity: Latino, Languages Spoken: English, Spanish, Tastes / Specialties / Fetishes: Vanilla, Leather, Anal, Oral, Shaving, Spanking, Role Playing, Kissing, Toys, Feet, Talents: Modeling, Go-Go Dancing, Stripping, Massage, Travel Companion, Tour Guide, Interpreter.

I like a list that starts with "vanilla", moves on to "anal, oral, shaving, spanking" and ends in "feet". Geo's a well-rounded guy. Whose talents include Go-Go dancing, stripping, and interpreting. I think I'm starting to understand the problem with the UN.

*They are not paying for college, and no, she's not into you. You are giving her money.

Gay Rights Activists (might possibly in another dimension somewhat like our own) Are Terrorists!

irony, hypocrisy, constitution, intimidation, torture, interrogation, intolerance, prop 8, homosexual, gay, homophobia, marriage, traditional, conservative,

No, seriously. Well, that's what pearlybum says in her latest piece in the war on logical reasoning.

::::::we interrupt this post to make a point about irony:::::::

(it will help you to read the comments on this post, though I warn you, the stupid, it burns)

The fact that one high-ranking Nazi probably was gay does not make gay rights activists' references to Nazi ideology or tactics by the religious right irony. Unless you consider the fact that Hitler had Jewish heritage and he killed all those Jews to be ironic. In which case, I just can't help you.

::::::::we return to our regularly scheduled posting::::::::

from Mercury News

U.S. District Judge Morrison England Jr. ruled against the ProtectMarriage.com - Yes on 8 committee, which sought to protect the identities of about 1,600 donors who have contributed between $100 and $999 since Oct. 18.

A report including the names of those donors is scheduled to be released Monday on the Secretary of State's Web site. (yes that's a government site. it is standard that donors to PACs do not enjoy confidentiality- for very good reason. if they were guaranteed confidentiality, then you would never know if a political candidate were being supported by neoNazis or domestic terrorist organizations or organized crime.)

Now, do I feel that people who voted yes on 8 should be assaulted or have their home vandalized? Of course not, that's just not polite. However, as the pro8 crowd is so very fond of pointing out, actions have consequences. If you voted yes on 8, than you should have known that people would be angry about that. If you donated money to a PAC, you should have known that your information would not be confidential. (If the PAC did not make that clear, then shame on them.)

The shit is hitting the fan, and now those brave crusaders for life, liberty and the heteronormative pursuit of happiness have nothing left to hide behind. Nice screen names, guys, but if you were good little social warriors, I bet your names and addresses are on that list. Good luck with that.

So, pearlybum is all upset cause Obama is closing down Gitmo (he's letting terrorists go free! in fact, as a parting gift, he's giving them all cruise missiles and the coordinates to Disneyland!), but a District Court Judge in California is allowing a law to be enforced. A preexisting law, mind you. That applies to everyone.

I am not surprised. In more ways than one our government has ceased to fulfill its proper role of protecting life and promoting safety and security. Indeed, while our new president calls for the cessation of the use of intimidation tactics in the interrogation of terrorists it's called torture, pearlybum. watch this video, pearlybum, and then tell me that waterboarding is "intimidation" and not torture. or doesn't it matter if the victim is brown?

no, wait, i'm still pissed off about the use of the phrase "intimidation tactics" to describe torture. TORTURE. Let's review:

yelling at someone- intimidation

whipping someone with a barbed metal lash- torture

standing very close to someone specifically to make them uncomfortable- intimidation

repeatedly dunking someone's head underwater so they can just barely get enough air- torture

staring at someone specifically to make them uncomfortable- intimidation

strapping a person to an inclined board, with his feet raised and his head lowered. The interrogators bind the person's arms and legs so he can't move at all, and they cover his face. In some descriptions, the person is gagged, and some sort of cloth covers his nose and mouth; in others, his face is wrapped in cellophane. The interrogator then repeatedly pours water onto the person's face. Depending on the exact setup, the water may or may not actually get into the person's mouth and nose; but the physical experience of being underneath a wave of water seems to be secondary to the psychological experience. The person's mind believes he is drowning, and his gag reflex kicks in as if he were choking on all that water falling on his face. torture

, our own citizens are being left high and dry by their own government and living subject to regular intimidation techniques waterboarding or being called on your own bullshit? and violations of privacy privacy that you had no reason to expect that are threatening their physical safety, liberties, families, and democratic rights. the right to a free press, the right to refuse to quarter soldiers in your homes, or the right to a speedy trial?

How does it feel, California? how does it feel to be as bigoted as the midwest? you used to be such a bastion of freethinking. oh, how the mighty have fallen. How does it feel to be second tier to terrorists, murderers, haters of the United States of America? okay, pearlybum, I explained the difference between intimidation and torture. now, try to defend your ridiculous viewpoint. How does it feel? (anyone know what song i'm hearing here?)

Obama, Arnold, anybody, wake up! BWAHAHAHAHAHA Turn around. Were they asleep, or just not looking? pick one. Take a look at the people you have vowed to preserve actually, obama didn't vow to preserve people, he vowed to defend the Constitution

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States (source: the Constitution of the United States of America)

and put a stop to the intimidation within the United States weren't you against no name calling week? oh, that's right, intimidation against you, not gays or blacks or jews. just as you have done with the intimidation without the United States. huh? Please. End the hypocrisy. first we have a problem with irony, now we're abusing hypocrisy. stop that.

Judging and a Watch in a Box

Judging

You know, I have noticed more than once, that I, as an atheist, am more familiar with what Jesus actually did and said, as recorded in the bible, than the average fundagelical. (Note: I certainly do believe Jesus, a man, existed. I think he said lots of really good things. This is as far as it goes for me.)

I have also noted that while I try to turn the other cheek and judge not, very rarely do you find fundagelicals attempting to do so. (Admittedly, these are very difficult activities.) But, I as an atheist, am under no obligation to do these things. You'd think a fundagelical would feel some obligation to at least try. No, they just lawyer their way out of these commands from their savior.

I don't get religion at all.

So, Honeybee777 on the RaptureReady message boards really wants to keep judging. She can't quite figure out the theological weasel around her messiah's repeated commands not to judge. Don't worry, she'll get help. People love to bring that up..."doesn't the Bible say don't judge?" yeah, because it does say that. in fact, not just the bible, but jesus your lord and personal savior said that. yeah, that guy. I know that it is actually concerning a brother or sister in Christ really, let's see what the quote actually is:

Matthew 7:1-3 (New International Version)

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Where are the brothers and sisters in christ again?

when the Bible says this...but how do I word this correctly and respectfully you can't word that correctly and respectfully, because it isn't true, and it's not respectful.

HisBride seems to have actually read the bible, and I am incredibly impressed. The Bible makes it clear that we are not to judge unbelievers or the heart motives of anyone. That is the Lord's position. However, within the Church, we are to hold one another accountable, we are to search the scriptures for Truth, and we are to hold our leaders accountable for the doctrines they are preaching. If a brother is sinning we are to follow the dictates of scripture to go to that brother to confront in a loving biblical manner. This is in the bible. I think it's in Timothy somewhere about what to do when you are sinned against. (I can't find the verses.) You are to confront the person one on one, if that doesn't work, you are to confront them with an elder, then you take it to whole congregation. It is very clear from the verse that this was only meant (a) when you sinned against, not just having to live in a world with a person who doesn't believe as you do, and (b) when this involves a member of your religious group.

FracturedInfinity has a different take: I think the problem is that most of the time, it's God's words coming out of our mouths and since the unbeliever doesnt' know any better, they think we ourselves are condemning them. yeah, that's it. i just can't tell when god himself takes control of your vocal chords and forces you to say things against your will. you should probably give me some sort of warning.

What they don't understand is that it's not us, we are just the messengers in these cases. We don't judge, God does. He doesn't want to judge. He's just a victim in all this. I didn't want to shoot that man, god pulled the trigger. Apparently, if I convert to christianity, I am free to do anything I want. We are just trying to enlighten them to the truth, but they don't want to hear the truth. Yeah, that's it. I don't want to be called a liar/thief/adulterer/satan-worshipper because I just don't want to hear the truth. (there is some serious eye-rolling going on here.)

What's that verse about the darkness hating the light? John 3:19 maybe? This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. I hate this sort of analogy for the simple reason that porphyria makes UV light dangerous and painful. My skin burns and bubbles after very minimal exposure to sunlight, and that exposure sets off attacks that cause organ and nerve damage. For me, the darkness is safe, the light is dangerous.

On top of that, it's not exactly "don't judge" period. really? I thought that was rather clear. It's rather, don't judge unless you want to be held to the same standard. Too many times people try to cut it off after the don't judge part in order to justify themselves in their own eyes. In reality, we are to judge according to God's word, and that is to hold ourselves to the same standards that we hold others to: the standard of God's word.

ok, let's try another quote directly from their messiah. John 8:2-8

2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them.
3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group
4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.
5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?"
6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.
7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

Pretty clear to me. Jesus didn't say "go ahead and judge if you can live up to the standard you set for yourself", he said, "you're all sinners, so quit with the judging!" you know, Jesus must have spent most of his time frustrated. here he was, running around the desert, touching the unclean, repeatedly telling people to be nice and forgive and stop judging, and they kept right on being assholes. good thing nobody asked me to be the messiah.

Honeybee777 thanks everyone for helping her disobey her lord and savior: Thanks, all, for your help...what I really need to know is how to quickly and respectfully say this to someone I am witnessing to. It has come up before...and they don't want to hear doctrinal statements :-) maybe they're just a little more familiar with the teachings of jesus then you are, and are fairly annoyed about having to explain it to you. or, maybe NOBODY LIKES TO BE JUDGED. you know, possibly.

Watch in a Box

I heard this argument a few days ago, and it took me a while to figure out exactly why it is stupid.

It goes something like this: believing that the complexity of life as it exists on earth could have been brought into existence by some process other than the creation described in genesis would be like believing that the watch you are wearing was created by putting all the pieces for the watch in a box, shaking the box for 20 minutes and then pulling out a fully intact watch that gives the correct time.

At first, this seems a little hard to refute. That is impossible. (well, maybe not impossible, but certainly highly improbable.) Then I realized that the universe is about 13.7 billion years old (+/- 0.13 billion years), and there are about 4x10^79 hydrogen atoms in the Universe (just hydrogen atoms, and that's a conservative estimate!)

So, to make the watch analogy accurate, you would have to put the parts to 4,000,000,000,000,000,000 watches in a (really big!) box and shake it for at least 10 billion years. If you did not come out of that with at least one intact watch showing the correct time, I'd be really suprised.