Heads I Win, Tails You Lose

At 6:01 on Saturday, May 21, my husband turned to me and said, "Well, we'll be seeing a lot of new atheists soon."

He's wrong. He's not totally wrong. I think the children of those who believed Camping and watched their parents lose everything to a rapture that never happened may end up questioning their faith, but the adults? No. For one thing, they're too invested in their belief. Once you've sold your home, quit your job and put down your dog for your beliefs, you're not backing down. For another, the Bible provides the perfect out for these people: Deuteronomy 18:20-22.

“But if any prophet presumes to speak anything in my name that I have not authorized him to speak, or speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die. 18:21 Now if you say to yourselves, ‘How can we tell that a message is not from the Lord?’ – 18:22 whenever a prophet speaks in my name and the prediction is not fulfilled, then I have not spoken it; the prophet has presumed to speak it, so you need not fear him.”

So, let me get this straight, predictions that do come true are from Yhwh, predictions that do not come true are not from Yhwh. Heads, I win, tails, you lose.

It's almost like the writer of Deuteronomy knew these sorts of things would happen- over and over again. Funny, that.

So don't expect that Camping's devotees will lose their faith along with their homes and jobs. They might, might mind you, stop listening to Camping, but their belief in god will remain unaffected.

Urgent Warnings! Read Now! We're All Going to Die! AAAAHHHH!!!1!!one!

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Welcome to United States Prophecy.com URGENT WARNINGS FOR THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! PLEASE READ ALL OF THESE PAGES EVEN IF YOU ARE SKEPTICAL - YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO IGNORE THIS!

That's how the website starts, except they've got it in 72 point font. (And, inexplicably, a picture of a bear.)How could I resist?

My name is John W. Johnston and this website was set up to warn the people of the United States of America. the rest of the world can go fuck itself. we all know god loves the USA best. I have been receiving visions, dreams, visitations and prophetic word of knowledge from God since 1982. so, that's how long you've had schizophrenia. there are treatment options, you know. I was called by God to be a watchman - seer and He instructed me to warn the churches and the people of America about what is coming upon our land if there was no repentance of sin. you know, we have tv's and the interwebz now, god couldn't use those?

God told me in June 2008 that He is not going to delay His judgments any longer. and yet somehow we've made it almost a year past that. huh. "Surely the Lord GOD does nothing, Unless He reveals His secret to His servants the prophets." (Amos 3:7 NKJV)

Time is running out! Please establish or renew your relationship with Yeshua Jesus Christ today! The Bible prophecies are in the process of fulfillment and all the worlds current events are a testimony to it! everything! i! write! is! followed! by! an! exclamation! point!

The relatively short span of your life on this earth is meant to prepare you for ETERNITY! Where do you want to spend eternity? THINK ABOUT IT!!! the succint, overdramatized version of Pascal's Wager.

2009 prophecies:

in which Mr. Johnston connects the 5th seal of revelation with, wait for it, Carrie Prejean.

To the Christians of the United States of America and the world on the 14th day of April at 2:30 PM eastern standard? pacific standard? God spoke to me very clearly about what is getting ready to happen to America and the world. The 5th seal of Revelation chapter six has been broken over the world. (Revelation 6:9) When He opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony which they held.

I came under attack by three very powerful demon spirits on April 11th. um, what? Soon after this attack God showed me that the fifth seal has been broken. 4 days later. The fifth seal represents great persecution and suffering of God apostrophe s people which is coming against the remnant body of Christ. ewww!

What I find amazing is that five days after He said this to me on April 19th during the Miss USA Pageant buy a fucking comma! trade in some of those exclamation points, you'll get a good deal. Miss California was asked the question as to what she thought the definition of marriage is. Her answer was the Biblical definition "between a man and a woman". She was the front runner and because of her answer (belief) she lost the pageant and has since come under vicious attack for her beliefs.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Let's review Rev 6:9, shall we? When He opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony which they held. by "slain for the word of god", apparently god meant "bimbos who parade around mostly naked will not win tiaras". I repeat: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

At about the same time frame in April the so called “swine flu” broke out and California was the first to report a case of this flu in the US on April 21st. you mean the flu which has killed about 3 people, which would be a lower death rate than the average flu? that's the plague of revelation? bring it on, baby!

Now, what could possibly top that? Time acceleration, that's what.

About ten years ago God showed me that He was accelerating the time. has anyone noticed time speeding up? anyone? you'd think at least one scientist would have noticed this. at least one. anybody? He confirmed to me that in the month of June 2009 there will be another time acceleration and that this one will be a double time acceleration.

just so you don't think he's speaking of prophetic acceleration, Mr. Johnston includes further explanation. well, not so much explanation, as . . . you'll see.

I was taken in the spirit to a place in heaven where there was a sea of glass. It was like a giant mirror was it a giant mirror or a giant expanse of glass? and standing on the west side of this sea of glass how did you know it was the west side? do compasses work in heaven? was Christ Jesus, the son of God. He pointed to me from across the sea of glass, as I was standing on the east side, and He then said to me that in the month of June there would be a “double time acceleration and that time would start to move faster than it has ever gone before”. not just any acceleration, a double acceleration.

As I looked into this sea of glass I saw time moving very fast. you saw the fourth dimension moving? really? or did you see events in fast forward? i'm fairly certain one cannot "see" time. Right before my very eyes I saw all of creation from start to finish moving across this giant mirror. were men riding dinosaurs before the Flood? Then the Son of man said to me that evil will start moving faster across the world and men’s hearts would become increasingly wicked as another tidal wave of evil is about to come across the earth. wait, don't you think you should warn people of the tidal wave of evil before you warn them of the time acceleration?

We will end with this:

Acknowledgments:

I want to say thank you very much to all of the folks who have donated money and other resources to help me out. My work has completely dried up and I have not worked for almost a year now. yes, most people don't hire the unmedicated insane. for good reasons. I have learned how to "live by faith" as never before in my life. The Lord does literally make daily provision for me. no, all those people you just thanked for their donations make daily provision for you. I spend much of my time ministering to the people on the street or wherever God sends me. when we're not hanging out at seas of glass in heaven. So thank you to all who have donated money to help out with gas, car insurance, food, business cards business cards? seriously? this guy has no job and is begging for money that he then uses for business cards? and this website. I also want to thank my "Scribe" Sara for getting all of my visions, etc. typed up, for creating and maintaining this website and for putting up with me. Most of all I want to thank the Lord God Almighty, my Savior Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit for taking a wicked person and saving me from the pit of hell and out of Satan's hands.

God Bless You! John W. Johnston

Thank you, Mr. Johnston, for the most fun I've had in a while.

Forward Looking Prophecies

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I haven't dealt with the "but the prophecies all get fulfilled" argument in favor of Christianity before, and this post gave me the perfect opportunity to do so.

I think Atheist do not understand what they are criticising oh yes we do. generally better than the people who believe in it, they are deceived into thinking they do oh, that's right, i need to read the bible to get faith, but i can't read the bible right without faith, and round and round we go but that is pure deception hmmm?

1) I have offered to stop being a Christian I don't want you to stop being christian. you are entirely welcome to your faith. just stop bashing me over the head with it, and we're fine. if any of the Atheist were to give me a failed prophecy from the old or the new testament? oh noes! the prophecies! they prove everything!

There are literally thousands of prophecies in both books and most of them are forward looking yeah, it's not a prophecy if it's not looking forward. at that point, it's a history lesson, but everyone every space one of them has been proven true sooner of or later. eventually, in the infinity that is the universe, anything is bound to happen. just wait for it.
For my misunderstanding Atheist friends, people like Jeremiah, Daniel, Moses etc. were called prophets for a reason, they were predicting the future. yes, we all know what "prophet" means. i am also quite familiar with Jeremiah, Daniel and Moses. I am not your friend.

2) Many modern so called sciences like Economics were they have tried to predict the future and look at their records despite their computer capabilities. We can put bible prophecy against every econometrics model and it still wins out, what does that even mean?

3) Books like Daniel send shivers up the spines of secular scholars that is why they try to attack that particular book. no, the book of Daniel does not send shivers up the spines, or legs, of any secular scholar. sorry.

My offer stands, show me the money! that was played out 10 years ago, and i don't think atheism wants you.

Some people have claimed that the claims of Christianity cannot be proved, I disagree I think you can test the validity of the claims. There is no such thing as blind faith in Christianity. yeah, there is

Take a book like psalm 22 - it predicts the death of the Messiah a thousand years before the event

okay, this almost sounds reasonable until you stop to consider one thing: the most recently written book of the bible is almost 2,000 years old. The Old Testament is significantly older than that. We don't have the original manuscripts of any portion of the bible. The bible has been translated many times by many different translators, most of them working off of copies of original manuscripts or previous translations.

It is not beyond reason to consider that, at some point, either the old prophecies were changed to matched the life of jesus, or the life of jesus was changed to match the old prophecies, or some combination of both. We'll never know, because there are no original manuscripts left.

And, really, this argument boils down to the statement that "my special book is internally consistent". So what? Harry Potter is internally consistent. So is the Lord of the Rings. Any book with a halfway decent editor is internally consistent. This is hardly convincing.

I give this a conversion fail.

Get Out Your Tin Foil Hats . . .

and your bible!

Nobody on the sites I normally trawl (don't try this at home, kids. I think my IQ has gone down about 10% so far) is posting anything sufficiently crazy to respond to, so it's back to the RaptureReady message boards.

Here's from a post about the False Prophet. (Again, like the Antichrist, there are lost of mentions of false prophets, in the plural, in the bible. Perhaps they are referring to Mark 13:22 For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect. I dunno.)

OP: Who is the False Prophet? What does he do for the AC antichrist, not Atlantic City? When does he show up? From where?

No one ever talks about this sinister character hahahahahaha. Does he show up before the AC or after? What is his role in all this?

I think he shows up about the same time as the AC. His job is to organize the one world religion, then later to perform false miracles so that the OWR is then dismissed so his job is to create the one world religion and then . . . destroy it? Seems sort of, I dunno, pointless? and the world is made to honor the AC so . . . we all join the one world religion, then we all leave the one world religion, and then we all worship the antichrist? has this poster ever met an actual human being?. He's part of the false trinity that will be thrown into the Lake of Fire really cool song at the end of the Tribulation.

From Events to Take Place Soon:

1. When Obamah finally gets to be president, January 21st? he will find himself so far in the red well, actually the country will be in the red that most likely he will find it impossible to give anyone any tax cuts. As for my opion your what?, I think tax cut for everyone including the super rich would do more to get out of this mess than anything else. Just a guess, but I bet you're not an economist Bush tax cuts resulted in the total money comming wheeee! into the government to be far about above? what was raised before the cuts. No, it didn't. Actually, the country had a surplus thanks to Clinton, and we haven't run even a balanced budget since. Welcome to reality. The two wars are the cause of the deficit. definitely not an economist Then the morgages mortgages that many couldn't afford in good times not really the issue with the toxic mortgage, but I'll let that pass, when they crashed the mortgages crashed? even a few minutes spent watching cnn would give you a better understanding of the economic crisis than that, brought on everything else because the whole world was so tied up in them thinking to make a killing. I'd really like to see one thought that made sense.

2. If Obamah fails to suppord how does one suppord? Israel, look for major natural desaters natural deserters? natural desserts? what? in the US. Especially if he tries to force Israel to give up their land. We could have a masive massive earthquake in California, the Mississippi river area on the New Madrid fault, or even along a fault that we don't know about now. yes, there are so many of those.

Ok, let's stop to consider this view of god. God is wonderful and loves you and forgives you, he gave up his only begotten son to wash away your sins (actually, god sacrificed god to god to change a rule that god made, but whatever), and if somebody you don't know, and have no control over, does something that pisses god off, you're going to pay! Why would anyone want to worship this person? Honestly, if I kill a few babies, should you, the reader, be punished?

Also GOD could allow a terrior West Highland terriors or Scottish terriors? attack by nukes or chemical or even possibly emp. If a nuke I would look for it stop hurting the english! it did nothing to you! at one of our great championship arenas when they are full of people. championship arenas? like where football teams play? Lincoln Financial Field, perhaps?

3. Then we could also have Isaiah 17 , Psalm 83 leading to Israel becoming a far larger and stronger nation. So, let me get this straight. Obama continues on the peace accords between the Israelis and the Palestinians. This involves giving land to the Palestinians. A massive earthquake takes out, I dunno, Puerto Rico, and then Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia is destroyed by a nuke, or possibly an EMP. That leads to Israel becoming a far stronger nation? That would probably cause oil prices to go out of site, offsite? Why would Israel being a stronger nation cause oil prices to go up? I'm pretty sure they're not an OPEC nation. at least for a time. Also Israel would then be able to take out Iran without having to worry about attacks all around her. I thought it was Philly that was taken out, not Jordan, Syria and Lebanon. Iran would probably beg Russia to come help why Russia? They've got their own problems, and Jordan, Syria and Lebanon are much closer and hate Israel way more. and Ezekiel 38 would be here. Israel would have no chance against that great army of Russia and the muslems muslims? that would come why are the muslims and russians teaming up again? Does this poster not know about the former Soviet Union and the stans?, and we know the result of that war, 5/6 83.33333333333%, huh? of them die because our GOD will help Israel and they won't have to do a thing except watch GOD at work. good luck with that.

4. Also and most important for Christians cause who cares what happens to Jews?, I believe that the Rapture will probably happen just before Isaiah 17, Psalm83 or between Ezekiel 38 and what?. Whenever the Rapture happens, the whole world will be changed forever.

5. My personal thoughts are that all the above could come about very soon, possibly by January 20 didn't the poster say at the beginning that it was Obama's not supporting Israel that caused all this? wouldn't that have to happen after he was inaugurated?, and if not early in Obama's first year in office. With the problems already in hand or the bush, the world doesn't need any more but I believe that the world will soon have many more problems to go with what we already have. uh huh.

This reply says it all:

William, I am pained when I think about what this world will be like during the tribulation. With what we see happening around us now, it just blows my mind to think about how this sin will continue to blossom at such an exponential rate. But I have to admit that I also have been hoping and praying of late for the rapture to be as close as you have mentioned above. I want my family and I to be in our Father's house, plain and simple. Gee, it's sad to think of all the suffering, but please god, could you make that happen now, cause I'm just sick of my sad little life filled with all the things I cannot do and all the things I cannot think and all the people I hate, and billions of people suffering is a price I'm willing to pay to get out of it.

Fasten Your Seatbelts . . .

And welcome the Rapture! The Rapture Index is currently at 160!

No, really, you can go to http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html and find out the day's Rapture Index. It's sort of like the weather report, only for prophetic activity.

Rapture Index of 100 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 100 to 130: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 130 to 160: Heavy prophetic activity
Rapture Index above 160: Fasten your seat belts

The lowest Rapture Index of 57 occurred on 12 Dec 1993
The highest Rapture Index of 182 occurred on 24 Sept 2001

Here's a little piece of trivia? Where in Revelation is the Antichrist mentioned? Nowhere.

That's right, boys and girls, the Antichrist is never mentioned in Revelation. Not once. The Beast is, the False Prophet is, Satan is quite a bit, but no Antichrist.

So, where does the word come from? Well, two places. (1) People who claim to read the bible "literally", but never actually read it; and (2) see below.

1 John 2:18 Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time

1 John 2:22 Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.

1 John 4:3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

2 John 1:7 For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.

Hmmm . . . where's all the bits about the Antichrist ruling the world and one world government and such. Nothing. An Antichrist (notice it's in the plural a couple of times) is exactly what the word implies: someone opposite of Jesus the Messiah, who denies the Messiah, and who denies God and his teachings. Nothing more, nothing less.

Ask me me about Lucifer and Heaven and Hell sometime. I dare you.