The Devil Made Me Do It

[trigger warning: rape. please enjoy this delightful otter instead.]

[note: taking a new medication. feeling very . . . odd. having trouble writing, well finding words, really. more on that later.]

I am frustrated by the concept of god(s): it's illogical, irrational and, as evidenced by what's going on in the US lately, it stifles science and encourages bad government and bad behavior over all. "God says" becomes the easy, and impossible to argue, rationale for all beliefs, beliefs that, unsurprisingly, precisely mirror the speaker's own prejudices and desires. (See: All Republican action against women currently in the works.)

I am downright enraged by the concept of the devil, however. Satan is the externalization of the evil in all of us. I can be selfish. I can be greedy and jealous and just plain mean. I work hard, every day, to not be those things. Sometimes it's a struggle, but it's a deliberate choice I make, a choice to be the very best me I can be. Sometimes, the very best me isn't all that great, but I'm not blaming my bad choices and actions on someone else.

If I'm selfish or greedy or jealous or mean, I own it. (Not always willingly. I'm human.) That was me. I shouldn't have been that way, I shouldn't done that, that was wrong. And that was me. Nobody else. I'm sorry. I'll have to try harder next time.

Satan, though. With Satan around, who has to say they're sorry? No one. Who needs personal accountability when you have Satan to blame? That wasn't me being selfish, that was Satan attacking me. In fact, you should feel sorry for me. Yes, I called you a fat slut and told your husband some pretty vicious lies about you* and caused you all sorts of pain, but you should feel sorry for me, what with the Satan attacking me and all. Why aren't you feeling sorry for me?

Remember the vicious gang rape of the 11-year-old in Cleveland, Texas? (If not, go to a doctor. Who could forget that?) Well, it turns out, it was Satan's fault.

Bertha Cleveland, an aunt of Mr. Cruse, said her nephew went to church regularly, held down a job at McDonald’s and had told her he intended to go to college. “Our younger generation is running rampant,” she said. “The devil is in full control.”

Oh, I see. You can't possibly commit rape if you went to church regularly. It must have been Satan. Rapists don't want to go to college, do they? Definitely Satan.

Guess what? I can wax rhapsodic about the rape culture, about othering, about prejudice and marginalization, and perhaps when my words come back to me, I will. Frankly, I enjoy writing about such things. However, in the end, the fault is with the rapist. He raped. Prejudice didn't reach down and force his penis into that child's vagina. That was him.

And it sure as fuck wasn't some mythological creature in charge of making us do horrible, evil things. We don't need the help.

*No, not really me. The first person just works better in this context. This is directly from a post at a Christian message board. Not making this up. She actually wondered why the victim of her jealous rage didn't feel sorry for her.

Oh, C'mon Now, Who Are You Trying to Fool?

You wanna mess up your kids? Tell them every stray thought will land them in hell and then show them the works of Heironymous Bosch.

Sin.

Once upon a time, sin was a big deal to me. I was convinced, utterly convinced, that every little sin was sending me to Hell. I absolutely, sincerely convinced that Satan watched everyone at all times and listened to our thoughts and that any stray thought or negative emotion of any kind- no matter how fleeting- could land me in Hell. Immediately.

I was nine.

Yes, my childhood was a happy one. Ever try not thinking about Satan? Good luck with that.

Ever try not feeling angry about anything ever? Better luck with that one.

Keep in mind, that's not unusual Christian theology. Plenty of Christians belief that even feeling slightly angry at someone else is the same as murder. (coughRayComfortcough) Even more feel that finding a woman vaguely attractive is exactly the same as a gangbang with five hermaphrodite hookers, a goat and a pineapple- and it's all the woman's fault, btw.

Now, I know this guy comes from the Ray Comfort school of "ever been angry? enjoy hell, sucka!" school of theology, which is why I find this post a little bit . . . disingenuous.

The following comes from page 1951 in the John MacMarthur Bible Commentary and addresses the fact that born again believers do not habitually sin.

Why Christians Won't Habitually Sin

This passage begins with the phrase "Whoever commits sin" (v. 4). Commits translates a Greek verb that conveys the idea of habitual practice. Although genuine Christians have a sin nature (1 John 1:8) and do behave sinfully, their confession of sin (1 John 1:9; 2:1) and acceptance of forgiveness prevent sin from becoming the unbroken pattern of their lives (John 8:31, 34-36;Romans 6:11; 2 John 1:9). God builds a certain growing awareness about sin that provides four effective reasons why true Christians cannot habitually practice sin:

1. Genuine Christians cannot practice sin because sin is incompatible with the law of God, which they love (1 John 3:4; Psalm 119:34, 77, 97; Romans 7:12, 22); whereas habitual sin betrays the ultimate sense of rebellion - living as if there were no law or ignoring what laws exist (James 4:17) - in short, lawlessness.

2. Genuine Christians cannot practice sin because sin is incompatible with the work of Christ (1 John 3:5). Christ died to sanctify (make holy) the believer (2 Corinthians 5:21;Ephesians 5:25-27). Habitual sin contradicts Christ's work of breaking the dominion of sin in the believer's life (Romans 6:1-15).

3. Genuine Christians cannot practice sin because Christ came to destroy the works of the arch-sinner, Satan (1 John 3:8). The devil is still operating, but he has been defeated, and in Christ we escape his tyranny. The day will come when all of Satan's activity will cease in the universe, and he will be sent to hell forever (Revelation 20:10).

4. Genuine Christians cannot practice sin because sin is incompatible with the ministry of the Holy Spirit, who has imparted a new nature to the believer (1 John 3:9; John 3:5-8). This new nature shuns sin and exhibits the habitual character of righteousness produced by the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-24).

So, who sins? Everyone. Who doesn't lie, who doesn't get angry, who doesn't feel lustful? Surely some of the people who claim to be Christians must actually be Christians, and I've never noticed a difference in behavior between Christians and nonChristians, have you? Christians have a higher divorce rate, there are more Christians in prison and the more religious a country is, the more crime it has. Christians sin, just like the rest of us.

What this is, really, is a No True Scotsman and a Guilt Complex. This allows you to say, "But they're not really Christians" any time I point to a clearly sinning Christian, "real Christians don't sin!" Sure. Unless conversion is actually being replaced with a pod person, yes, Christians sin like the rest of us.

[Note: before you go all apeshit in the comments section, follow the link, see why that is a logical fallacy and not acceptable in argumentation and DON'T USE IT.]

The Guilt Complex of this is a little more subtle. It explains the constant rerererererededicating their lives to Jesus that so many Christians engage in. You'd think once or twice or three times would be enough, but no, they're dedicating their lives to Jesus on a weekly basis. How many times does it take, really? 58,000 apparently. I can tell you what the internal struggle is, because I've lived it.

Christian: Oh, not again!

Atheist: What?

Christian: I keep sinning. I'm not really a Christian!

Atheist: You believe in Jesus, right? You accept him as your Lord and Savior, right? Sure you're Christian. Fairly obnoxious about it, actually.

Christian: No, no, no! I can't be a Christian, I keep sinning!

Atheist: Sinning how?

Christian: I keep finding women other than my wife attractive!

Atheist: Srsly?

Christian: How did you say that without vowels? Never mind, yes, it's sinning! It's adultery!

Atheist: Dude, finding an attractive woman attractive is no big deal. You're not fucking them, are you?

Christian: NO!

Atheist: Yeah, you'll be fine.

Christian: No, I won't be fine. I need to become a Christian, or I'll burn forever in hell when I die! I could die at any moment! Please, God, save me!

Atheist: Um, yeah, well, call me when you're done with that.

These poor people, they're absolutely tormented. Tormented by assholes who tell them, over and over again, that being human is proof of their worthiness for eternal torment. It's sick.

Satan Has a Blog- Turns Out, the Morningstar is Ray Comfort's Long Lost Twin

When I saw an advertisement for Satan's Blog, I squealed with glee. "How funny, how deliciously snarky this will be!" I thought, because that's just my sense of humor. (And I think in full, 19th Centuryesque sentences, apparently.)

Then I read it. Either the Morningstar is ghost writing Ray Comfort's blog or they're long lost twins, because gah! the blog is offensive, stupid and ignorant.

Take this post on Bernard Schweizer called, “Hating God: The Untold Story of Misotheism.” Schweizer very carefully examines the difference between atheism, not believing in gods, and misotheism, believing in god, but actively hating him. Satan, like every other fundy out there, is unbelievably offended at the idea that there is a difference. After all, they've only been asserting that atheists are god haters since, well, ever, so Schweizer must be wrong. Must!

My servants, I must say I’m in a deliciously good mood today. Reading of my peeps on earth exhibiting depraved minds, usually in tandem with insolent arrogance, just perks me right up. So it’s with great pleasure that I introduce a book

"Peeps"? Satan is a rapper from the late 90s? Who knew?

Believing that atheists cannot hate God because “one cannot hate that which does not exist,” Schweizer highlights those who believe the wiser path on earth is to acknowledge the obvious, that God exists, but act like puffed-up men and women who stupidly belittle God as stupid. Or, as he explains misotheism in contrast to atheism:

“Misotheism is a different kettle of fish. In fact, it may well turn out to be more threatening to the pious than atheism because misotheism makes the radically subversive claim that there is a God but that he is malevolent or at least incompetent, indifferent—in any case not worshipful.”

Ha ha ha ha ha. Yes, that’s my lie. Someone, or something, will always be worshipped. The worldly wise path is to worship created things rather than the Creator, who, by the way, is said to be “praised forever.” Blechhhh!

Yes, the fundys can't possibly be wrong, now can they? If they say atheists hate god, then no matter what atheists themselves say, they hate god. If fundys say that everyone worships something, no matter what you or I say, we worship something. Nobody can know themselves better than a fundy knows them. Really, every time I think I'm hungry, thirsty or tired, I should check with a fundy just to make sure.

Reviving a “rarely used term—“misotheism”—to capture just this sort of antagonistic religious belief (“misos” meaning hatred in Greek and “theos” God),” Schweizer describes “a paradoxical religious phenomenon—people who cannot disbelieve and yet find that God is cruel, indifferent or incompetent.”

Now, my servants, here is kingdom knowledge: there is no paradox. A proper understanding of God and history leads one to a proper understanding of the human condition. Thanks to me (you’re welcome!), humans are born hating God.

Therefore hating God is the default human condition, and those who believe themselves big and brave to reject the remedy and choose pride in their fallen, blinded position merely perpetuate foolishness into eventual destruction.

The arrogance of the fundy. It's almost impressive- if it weren't so damn irritating.

Anyway, the rest of the post is just more of the same old Ray Comfort "I'll tell you what you think" bullshit. I had such high hopes, too.

The Evil, It Is Nigh

Rule 34: Proven

(Mostly this is an excuse to use the word "nigh", which just doesn't get enough play.)

So, how nigh is the evil? This nigh!

Keep in mind, I'm not a doubting Thomas. True, every time there's an earthquake somewhere or every time the nutbag in Iran says how he wants to nuke Israel, I'm usually the one who tries to hold it together saying that these things have been giong on for years and could go on for years still. I'm not trying to be the rain on the parade, it's just that I used to be like the people who think that everytime there's a hiccup in the M/E, the Rapture's happening like this weekend. And I had to try to put things in perspective becasue I would get myself all revved up that the Rapture's very soon, only to become depressed when it wasn't. So I do tend to keep things in perspective.

Um, has Achmedinejad ever threatened to nuke Israel? Anyway,

Having said all that (sorry somtimes I am too long-winded), lately I can just feel the evil all around us and the increase of such attitudes everywhere.

What attitudes? Nuking Israel? Believing earthquakes represent something other than plate tectonics? I'm confused.

I sitll think we have some time left here Earth before the Rapture, but...it is just blowing me away that the evil just seems to be rampant. So many of my Christian friends all seem to be under spiritual attacks which seem to grow in intensity.

spiritual attacks: sickness, doubt, sadness, lost socks, red lights, financial difficulties (in a massive recession, no less), McDonalds running out of chicken nuggets. So, any tiny little thing that inconveniences or annoys you throughout your day is SATAN attacking you. Apparently, SATAN has nothing better to do than make you 30 seconds late for work. Most of the time, it seems more like the work of Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light.

What's going on here? This is getting to the point where even I am starting to think that something is looming in the near future.

Yes, more lost socks.

Friend, there definitely IS "something looming."

DHIMMITUDE!

As I understand that word, it's submission to Muslim rule.

Just sayin'.

Yes, because allowing a community center to be built within any distance of Ground Zero is capitulating to the Caliphate. Community centers in Saudi Arabia are too damn close!

I definitly see where you're coming from. The world keeps going down hill fast. I'm seeing the same thing with friends ... it seems like suddenly so, so many people I know are sick or have sick family members or have just lost someone very close to them, or have had violent crimes happen very close to them, or even violent crimes affecting family members (a friend just lost a cousin to a murder during a robbery). It's crazy.

You know, it's weird. When I was a kid, none of my friends were sick or having to cope with death. As I get older, it seems like everyone I know is getting sicker and their parents are dying . . . I wonder why that is?

Daveyboy, I was raised in a Christian home and taught the Bible from a young age. My parents would talk about prophecy and the "end times" but I didn't take much of it to heart.
I went on and "did my own thing". I was very rebellious and wanted to experience everything the world had to offer. Around 1981, I picked up Hal Lindsey's book "The Late Great Planet Earth" and read it. It made me recall all the things my parents had told me. That, along with some other occurences brought me to the Lord in 1982. I've been looking for the Lord's return "Daily" since that time. I'm not depressed that the rapture hasn't yet occurred. Everything is in God's timing, not ours !!
I will soon be 74 years old and have seen a lot in my time. I have never seen things this bad, but I believe they will become worse. Satan knows his time is limited and he's desperately angry. It is very possible that as Christians we will see physical persecution, but not to worry. Jesus said, "In this world you'll have trouble, but never mind, I've overcome the world". (paraphrased).
I sincerely believe we are very close to His return and that He will save us from the wrath to come.

Keep the Faith !!
Look up, Our Redemption Draweth Nigh !!!

So, you've been waiting for the rapture to happen at any moment for the last 28 years? That doesn't seem odd to you? Also, why is SATAN so damn stupid? He knows his time is nigh, but he keeps fighting anyway. In fact, he knew the rebellion was doomed from the start, but proceeded to rebel despite this knowledge. (Not actually in the Bible.) You want me to be scared of this nitwit? My dog is smarter than that and he's completely mystified every time I go out the back door and come back in through the front.

IMHO, spiritual darkness and strong dellusion seem to be increasing by the second.

I imagine "dellusion" is the belief that dude, you're getting a Dell!

The strong dellusion is almost surreal...the vast majority of leaders in the USA seem to have lost their minds completly, and it appears as if at least half of the US population has joined them

The more than half that voted for Obama, I guess.

It's amost as if the hounds of hell have been given alot more leash...can you image when they are unleashed completely? Wow!

Yeah, hellhounds ripping through a preschool sounds awesome!

It's an awesome time to be alive, and what an opportunity we all have to live for Jesus in an increasingly hostile (Christaphobic) enviroment. Keep your eye on the prize!

It's awful to live in such a hostile (Christaphobic) enviroment (sic). I mean, you can't even buy a Bible. And forget wearing clothing commonly associated with Christians, that result in violence. Christian community centers result in national explosions of bigotry. It truly is a sad time to be such a persecuted minority.

There was some comment on this in the adoption communities I belong to. People are facing a lot more resistance to bringing children home from overseas. Prayers and fasting have yielded results though, at least one boy was released by a judge to come home. Not to worry, Jesus triumphed long ago.

You think that might have something to do with the recent accusations of kidnapping Hatian (non)orphans or the child sent back to Russia with a note pinned to his (or her, I can't remember) shirt? Nah, it's SATAN. Or the dellusion.

Oh yeah when you said we can't see our enemy, it made the hair on my neck stand up. I feel so often that there is positively some kind of force out there that is constantly thwarting my efforts in life.

It's called stupidity.

I have been blessed with a good sense of awareness and can usually tell when there's something just not "right".

A trait you share with most schizophrenics.

I have had this feeling of a force working against me. Don't know why I am so important to Satan-not like I'm some kind of precher man or something, b ut still getting attacked just the same.

Oh, it's almost like you're involved in some epic battle against evil instead of a sad little wage slave like the rest of us. How special.

Oh, fundys, putting the fun in paranoid delusions.

Pic link

It's a Good Thing Buses Don't Have Desks

Or I would have headdesked myself into a coma this morning.

The bus driver and a passenger were discussing god. For a while there it was a fairly standard discussion about giving all things to God and in faith all things are possible, until the driver declared that Satan was trying to make him "mess up". How does he know this? Because of the things he has been saying to his wife lately. You just don't say things like that to someone you love. Ergo, Satan.

Here is this grown man completely denying any responsibility for words that came out of his own mouth. Even a five-year-old who's been caught lying or cursing won't try to say that somebody else said it.

Yet this is totally acceptable in some Christian circles. An excuse that a small child would reject as being too unbelievable is the height of theology for a great many people.

*headdesk*

Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

A short story inspired by John Loftus' post, What Must Be the Case if Christianity Is True

4) That the highest created being, known as Satan or the Devil, led an angelic rebellion against an omnipotent omniscient omnibenelovent omnipresent God, and expected to win--which makes Satan out to be pure evil and dumber than a box of rocks.

Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time, a conversation between Satan and Satan's second in command, Bob.

Bob: So, we're rebelling against God?

Satan: Yes.

Bob: Why? He's omnibenevolent. You can't get nicer than that.

Satan: Apparently, I'm wicked jealous of the humans.

Bob: Those things that feel pain, get sick and die? We're angels, why are we jealous of humans?

Satan: Two words- free will.

Bob: Well, if we're deciding to rebel, we must have that, too.

Satan: Better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven.

Bob: Have you seen Hell?!

Satan: I admit, the decor is a little heavy on the burning lakes of fire and, well, burning lakes of fire, but we could always redecorate.

Bob: I don't think new wallpaper is going to fix that. Anyway, how can we rebel? God isn't just omnibenelovent, he's also omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent.

Satan: Hmmm . . . if he's omnipresent, doesn't that mean he rules Hell, too?

Bob: Yes.

Satan: Omniscient means he's hearing this conversation right now.

Bob: Uh-huh

Satan: Omnipotent means I can't win, right?

Bob: I don't know, you got anything better than all powerful?

Satan: This probably isn't a good idea.

Bob: Nope. So, how much apologizing do you think it's going to take to fix this one?

Satan: We may as well just keep rebelling, I don't think Hallmark makes that card.

Bob: *sigh* I'll go get some wallpaper samples, sir.

Satan: See if they have anything in tone-on-tone stripes. Those are classy!

Bob: Right away, sir.

This Space Intentionally Left Blank

The Slacktivist* has written some remarkable posts on presuming good will, which changed my life, btw. Presuming good will is simple, you do it with friends and loved ones all the time. For example, if your best friend says something to you that seems, at face value, hurtful, you will question them about it because you are operating under the assumption that your best friend doesn't want to hurt your feelings. You are presuming good will.

On the other hand, if someone you dislike says the exact same thing, you'll simply assume they meant to hurt your feelings and move from there. The Slacktivist changed my life by causing me to assume good will from people no matter my feelings towards them or their feelings towards me. Turns out, life is a bit less hurtful if you assume most people are clumsy with language and annoying, but not inherently malevolent.

Unless you're a certain type of Christian, apparently, in which case liberals are Teh Evul and our every action is aimed at destroying God, deposing Satan and running Hell into the ground. (We'll have it bankrupted in a year! BWHAHAHAHAHA!)

I got a bird's-eye view of what Glenn Beck has been talking about for weeks.

Beck has revealed that churches are increasingly becoming socialist breeding grounds. It's not just the Rev. Wright who preached revolution. The president's new Palm Pilot minister, Jim Wallis, trumpets getting to heaven through redistribution.

You know who else trumpeted getting to heaven through redistribution? Jesus. Why am I more familiar with your holy book than you are?

It's bad enough that the radicals want our children, our newspapers, our money, and our health care. But hijacking God?

We also want your flower arrangements, your cookie recipes and your base. All your base are belong to us!

The Left tried first to separate people from God. They banished Him from schools and government; they ridiculed and mocked believers.

I'm not even sure how one banishes an omnipotent being from anywhere, or if that's even possible. Quick history lesson: Why were teaching of the Bible and prayer removed from schools? Because the Catholics and the Protestants couldn't agree on which teachings or which prayers, and the school boards got sick of the arguments and just removed all teachings and prayers. That's right, atheists didn't start this particular fire, we found it already burning and started making smores.

Their efforts having failed miserably (about 80% of all Americans still identity as Christian), so they turn to plan B: Contaminate the Word of God.)

Who keeps leaving the Liberal Handbook where conservatives can find it? There is no use having a secret cabal if it's not secretive, people!

The Left has had many incarnations. The latest is masquerading as holy men, with the holiest, of course, being Obama.

I . . . I . . . wtf?!

At least the '60s radicals were transparent about their true colors. The Weathermen, the Symbionese Liberation Army, and the Black Panthers never held themselves out as Messiahs. They were right in your face with their terrorism, murders, and rapes.

As opposed to the current invisible terrorism, murder and rape. First of all the Weather Underground never killed anyone. The Black Panthers . . . that's a whole nother ball of wax, having to do with generations of racism and frustration, and I'm not touching that. The SLA, ah. The whole Patty Hearst thing. They managed to kill 2 people. And rob banks. I've seen better. What does any of that have to do with the price of tea in China?

Obama role model Saul Alinsky announced to the whole world which master the Left serves. Here's his dedication in Rules for Radicals:

Lest we forget at least an over-the shoulder acknowledgment to the very first radical ... the first radical known to man who rebelled against the establishment and did so effectively that he at least won his own kingdom -- Lucifer.

More insidious is the new crop of leftists. Wearing the cloak of respectability, they trick the masses through flowery words about hope and change.

Prior to the election, I have never heard of Saul Alinksy. I certainly don't worship Satan. I also think it's a teensy bit rude to accuse liberal Christians, like the Slacktivist, of being Satan worshippers. I suppose the writer never stopped to think that maybe someone read all the things Jesus had to say about the poor and the meek and went, "Ah ha! I should care about the poor!" and then voted for people that aren't trying to cut off unemployment benefits and make the homeless pay to stay in a shelter.

As for the cloak of responsibility, I never wear mine. It's a little scratchy and yellow isn't my best colour.

But those of us who recognize Light also know the chill of darkness. The Left is nocturnal. Its followers live and breathe in the dark.

We're not fucking vampires, dude. Not even the sparkly kind. I'm in bed before 10pm most nights. Also, do you stop living and breathing when the lights get low?

To me, God is about surrender, not power; humility, not humiliation.

A life of the spirit means relinquishing control to God. Humans can't second-guess divine wisdom.

Non sequitur.

The Left views hardship as unfair and launches crusades for social justice. But there's another way to regard suffering -- as holy. Through pain, we solidify our relationship to our Creator.

Wow. That's something. We shouldn't feed the hungry or shelter the homeless, because it's god's special plan that they be hungry and homeless. I . . . am speechless.

I think that the progressives know, deep inside, in places they keep well-hidden, that their souls are damaged.

My soul is damaged? You just said that helping dying children is wrong because god wants them to die and my soul is damaged? Do you even have one?

Their movement is not really about redistribution, or social justice, or green power. It's about extinguishing the Light that exposes their brokenness.

And that's why the Left targets the bright-eyed people -- the children and the pious. In them, the Light is luminous.

How much LSD did you take before writing this?

I just scrolled down to see how much more of this crazy I was going to have to snark and found this:

A frequent AT contributor, Robin is a recovering liberal and a psychotherapist in Berkeley.

That's either some form of high irony I should be enshrining for future generations, or somebody needs to raise standards for the psychotherapy community.

*Yes, that's a general link to the Slacktivist. (a) You should read all of his posts, it's good for you, and (b) my googlefu has apparently left me because I can't find those posts. They're really good, too.

picture link

There Will Be Blood

Where's Satan? @ Yahoo! Video

satan, stupid, funny,
hat tip to denelian!

I have nothing to say, other than people are really freakin' weird. Really, really, really, re-heeely* weird.



*Watchin' me some Scrubs this weekend.

Job (and possibly Ben)

christianity, job, bible, satan, god, atheism, atheist,
I have a tremendous problem with the Book of Job: it's the saddest story ever told. It's a tale of a cruel god and a crueler bet.

If you're not familiar with the Book of Job, Job was a righteous man, one of few in the Bible to be named so.

In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job. This man was blameless* and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.

One day, for no apparent reason, Satan pays a visit to God.

One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. 7 The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?" Satan answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it."
8 Then the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil."

Satan, ever the logical one, I guess, suggests that perhaps Job wouldn't be so righteous if God weren't forever rewarding Job for his righteousness. It's a valid point, but what God does next is nothing short of criminal.

9 "Does Job fear God for nothing?" Satan replied. 10 "Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. 11 But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."
12 The LORD said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger."

I have three problems with this: (a) Suppose you were bragging to a friend that your dog is the best natured dog in the world, and your friend says, "well, sure, you're always coddling him, of course he's good natured. I bet if you started starving and beating him, he wouldn't be such a good dog," would you say, "okay, then, beat and starve my dog. that'll show you!" Of course not.**

If you wouldn't torment a dog just to make a point, why is it okay for God to torment a blameless man?

(b) God doesn't even allow Satan to torment Job directly. God has Satan tormenting innocent animals and family members. They didn't do anything, but they'll pay to prove God right. How is that not the worst thing you've ever heard?

While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, "Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother's house, 19 when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!"

(c) What is the difference between Satan and God in this story? Sure, Satan's the one who suggested torturing Job for no reason at all, but God's the one who allowed it. Between the two, God may actually be the less moral entity.

Despite losing all his livestock and his entire family, Job remains faithful to God. Not one to lose a bet, Satan suggests that if God allowed Job himself to be tormented, Job would surely crack.

7 So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head.

Job, of course, does not crack. Eventually, Job does (sort of) question God's will, at which point God basically answers with "Because fuck you, that's why!"

1Do you know when the mountain goats give birth? Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?
2 Do you count the months till they bear? Do you know the time they give birth?

Job immediately backs down, instead of asking what goats and deer have to do with killing his children in order to win a bet with Satan***.

The most disturbing portion of Job comes right at the end wherein God makes everything better by giving Job more livestock and more children. Sure, God, children are all the same. Just replace the one you killed and that makes it all better. Seriously, who would be okay with this?


If the point of Job were to remind me that God is fickle and dangerous, and that even following all the rules could well earn me torture, the story would be bad enough. Christians however, read stories like this and then blather on about "love" and "gifts" and "justice". That's just insane. I'm beginning to think atheism is just the moral response to crazed immorality of Yhwh.




*People like Ray Comfort like to remind us, well, more like beat us over the head with, that no one is blameless, you know, except for Job, as it says, right there in the Bible, that they say is the exact, literal word of god.

**If you would do that, go jump in front of a train, you stupid fucking psychopath.

***Answer: Absolutely nothing.

In case you're wondering, Ben is a Lost reference. It's been suggested that Jacob is God and Ben Linus is Job.

So You've Been Left Behind . . .

rapture, god, jesus, bible, premillenial, dispensationalism, satan
I found an honest to goodness left behind letter! (As well as numerous pictures of materials actual people keep in their homes for those of us left behind. I got that comforter for my birthday, btw. It's incredibly light and incredibly warm.) In case you're confused, a left behind letter is a letter written by a believer in the Rapture to their loved ones to be read after the Rapture occurs. Mind you, these people believe that every Real True Christian(tm), as well as every child under a certain age (around puberty, cuz puberty is Teh Sinful), has disappeared off the planet, en masse, in the "twinkling of an eye". Consider the insanity that would follow such an event, and then read the letter.

Dear loved ones and friends:

Please forgive me if I don’t begin this letter with a proper salutation because i'd totally be offended by a lack of "proper salutation" after every child on the planet has disappeared, but since I don’t know who will read it when the time comes, I can’t properly address it to any particular person. Suffice it to say that it is intended for anyone who reads it. It is early January, 2002, as I type this, and early June of the same year as I revise it (and just a few months later--late August--as I post this online version on Geocities). (Now that it's 2009 and Geocities will be going out of commission later this year, I'm moving it, and all my other Web sites, to Webs.com.) , as I’ve said. the fact that 7 years has passed and still no Rapture hasn't fazed her a bit!.

By the time you read this letter i'll be dead. no, wait, ascended into heaven. it is too totally different!, millions of people will have disappeared from the earth--including me! I’ve printed some information from the Internet, and enclosed a booklet titled “What to Do if You Miss the Rapture!” and a video titled “Have You Been Left Behind?”--all of which will explain what happened, and what you need to do. I’m including that information with the hard-copy version of this letter, along with a pocket-sized New Testament, a separate copy of the Gospel of John, and several salvation tracts. food, water and medicine to help you survive the ensuing chaos, not so much. First, though, I want to say a few things.

What’s happened is that God has taken all Christians to Heaven. which is entirely unlike death in every way. Every person who received Jesus as Lord and Savior, and every baby and child who’s below the age of accountability (or, rather, not old enough to understand the concept of sin and what it can do puberty) has been taken to be with the Lord. He’s given us brand-new bodies--bodies that will never die, or get sick or hurt. sucks to be you, down there on earth in your old, dying, sick, hurting body. anyway . . . And not only has He called all live Christians to Heaven, He has resurrected every Christian and child who’s died since Jesus ascended to Heaven, 2,000 years ago. everyone before that can suck it! He’s given them the same kinds of bodies He’s given us. (If you visit the area cemeteries, you’ll discover that many of the graves are now empty.) Not only are all adult and teenage born-again Christians gone, so are the babies and young children, both the living and the dead. They’ve been taken up, too, as I’ve said.

(BTW, there may be supposed Christians who were left behind. If so, you need to know this: many think they are Christians simply because they try to be good people, or because they go to church, or because they come from Christian families. Only the person who recognizes his sinfulness and makes the decision to accept Jesus’ offer of salvation can go to Heaven, and these people have failed to do that. If you want to read about how Jesus saved my soul, click on this link.) they weren't Real True Christians(tm) like me! and now they'll pay for it!

The first thing I want you to know is this: I am not dead! I am in Heaven, yes, but I did not die to go up there. first of all, what is the difference to this left behind loved one? and how does this "fact" help them with their grief? you're still gone. That's right, my soul and spirit are still firmly attached to my body, which is now made of a material that can live in both Heaven and on earth! teflon? (It's the same material that Jesus' body is made of. spandex?) I am just as alive and well as I was before I left earth, and maybe more so. So please don’t grieve. what is this, the fourth paragraph of gloating so far? i'm in heaven, make of teflon (or possibly spandex) and you're stuck down there!

The reason I’m typing this is because my concern, now, is for you. and the gloating. it's delicious. You need to know what’s going to happen and what you need to do. The information I printed out and stored in the envelope will explain, better than I can, those things--please read it! All of it! And watch the video, too! It’s vital that you do so, and I’ll tell you why. boy, i hope i don't get killed by the antichrist while reading this apparently useless letter. the videos are better! ! !!

What happened to the other Christians and me is something that God predicted 2,000 years ago. Long before that, He predicted that there would be a resurrection of the good and the wicked, but only after Jesus came did He predict that there would be a generation of believers that would never know death, but go to Heaven without dying. you know, the people that actually knew Jesus were expecting to be that generation. suckas! We are part of that generation, and I had the privilege of being caught up when the day came. man this woman can gloat! We will be in Heaven for 7 years or more, until Jesus comes back to this planet. and then it's back to earth for us. with you. and your sucky, nonteflon body.

In the meantime, terrible times are coming for the people left on the earth. too bad you're not made of teflon. There will be a 7-year period that the Bible calls the Tribulation, and Jesus Himself said that it would be so bad that unless He cut it short, no one would be saved. he could cut it short, but he won't. god's a dick like that. Thankfully, Jesus said that, for the sake of those who accept Him during that period, those days will be shortened. by death! Unfortunately, the vast majority of people will die while the Tribulation’s in progress. God’s wrath will be poured out on the world during that time. It will be His last-ditch effort to get people’s attention so they’ll turn to Him because simply holding a news conference, or arranging every star in the sky to read "believe in me" wasn't an option.; unfortunately, the majority of the people will refuse to listen, and will die and go to Hell as a result.

My plea and my prayer is that you will not be among those people!!! if you're going to die, die believing. Please heed what I’m writing, what the people who wrote the information I printed out wrote, and what’s explained on the video. I can’t promise that you’ll survive physically, actually, according to what i just said, you won't. but if you’ll do what I’m telling you, I promise that you will survive spiritually, not as good a deal as my teflon body, but what can you do? and then when it’s over, you’ll be resurrected, too--to spend eternity with Jesus. When that happens, we’ll be together again, always.

There will soon be a one-world government, headquartered in Europe, and its leader will be an extremely wicked man that the Bible calls by a number of names--the Antichrist, the Man of Sin, the beast, etc. no, he's never referred to as the antichrist, but whatever. He will sign a 7-year covenant with Israel that will officially start the Tribulation. The Antichrist will be possessed by Satan himself, will have the ability to deceive people, and will demand worship. but god, in his infinite mercy, will totally blame you for being deceived by a powerful, supernatural being. you know, mercy. And the way he’ll get it is this: he’ll set in motion a system where people have to accept in the hand or forehead something that the Book of Revelation calls a mark. No one will be able to buy, sell, or hold a job without one. To receive the mark, they’ll have to worship the Antichrist and reject all other gods, including the true God. To make it worse, there will come a time when anyone who refuses the mark (which will be either a tattoo or, more likely, a computer implant) will be martyred. mercy is a relative term.

Please, please, don’t--I repeat, do NOT--accept that mark!!!! accept the martyring. The Bible makes it very plain that to do so will be an unforgivable sin. Anyone who does will be condemned to Hell for all eternity--they will not be able to accept Jesus as Savior if they’ve accepted the Antichrist’s mark. If you take it, we’ll never be together again, and you will suffer God’s wrath forever. i recommend a heroin addiction. you may as well have fun with your ability to buy things. I don’t want that to happen to you; PLEASE heed what I’m saying! I beg you. who actually says "heed"?

When the 7-year period ends, Jesus will return to Earth, and we who were Raptured or resurrected will come with him--on white horses! teflon bodies and ponies! Jesus will bind the devil and lock him in a bottomless pit for a thousand years. and then let him back out. for no apparent reason. Everyone who accepted the mark and worshipped the Antichrist--those who are still alive when He comes--will die. slaughtered by Jesus while the people on white horses watch. Those believers in Jesus who survived the Tribulation will go into Jesus’ new Kingdom as mortal believers. no teflon bodies for you! They will marry, have children, and hold jobs or own their own businesses. what sort of business does one own after most of the world's population is roasting in hell? They will live throughout the 1000-year period. The only people who will die during the Millennium will be unbelievers who commit serious sins wait- unbelievers? (some of the believers’ children, grandchildren, etc., will be unbelievers, sad to say with Jesus standing right there? seriously? that's like not believing in trees.).

I want you all to be part of this, too--those of you who were left behind--so I’m leaving you this information, both this online version and the hard-copy version. I’m also leaving you my Bibles, my Bible prophecy books (both nonfiction and novels), and my other Christian books, videos, audiocassettes, and CDs. Please read them, watch them, and listen to them; in particular, watch the video I’ve enclosed with the hard-copy version of this letter, read the information in the manila envelope, and read my Bibles--they’re yours now. And pray that God will protect you and guide you, because now as never before, your lives depend on your doing so. because being martyred is "protection". mm hmmm.

That’s all I can think of to say right now, so I’ll close off here. Now that you’ve read my letter, please read carefully the information I included in the manila envelope with it, and watch the video. The video itself is just 15-20 minutes long, so it won’t take you long to watch it all. 15-20 minutes, in fact. I will pray that God will see you through the times that are coming right up until you are martyred for following my instructions, so that we can be together again. Until then, know that I love you!

If you are able to survive till then, you will do the same. the same what? If not, you will be resurrected and given a new body, and you’ll be part of the new Kingdom, too. And either way, we’ll be together once more, and it will be a happy time, believe me! happy except for mourning all the people who died horribly and then went to hell for all eternity. Then, after 1,000 years, God will sentence the devil to be trapped forever in a horrible lake of fire (along with everyone who refused to accept Jesus). wtf? He’ll destroy this earth, and create a brand-new one and a brand-new universe to go with it. cuz this one's getting a little run down. even god likes that new house smell. Everyone who had a personal relationship with God will live with God on that new earth forever, in the kind of resurrection bodies those of us who were Raptured or resurrected are enjoying now. see, eventually you get teflon bodies! it just takes a while.

In the Beginning, There Were No Emoticons*

atheism, atheist, bus ads, christianity, god, satan, emoticons, internet

I thought I'd head over to Rapture Ready's message board to see the fundy response to the Chicago Atheist bus advertisements. It was even stoopider than I expected.

The first two responses to the post were emoticons: the disapproving smilie and the eye-rolling smilie, then a row of 4 smilies that burst into flames. Apparently, fundys feel the need to express both cute and outrage in this situation.

Ron4jesus goes straight for the obvious satan connection: It's also a way to demean Christians and our so called crazy beliefs. Yes, that's always our goal. Oh, and you need a dash between "so" and "called". Evil seems to be working overtime it has a great benefits package, though and it's a sign Jesus Christ is coming back soon for his people. isn't everything. Obama is a curse to this country which has what to do with atheist bus ads? and what he has done already is a disgrace.. He is heading us towards a Socialist State define socialism. and fast. Even if a Republican gets in 2012 the mess is so bad I am not sure it can be reversed. you mean the mess Bushco got us into in the first place? and what does that have to do with atheist bus ads again?

We are going to be hated for what we believe in and so be it. yes, because christians are so persecuted in the US. I am willing to die for my GOD wtf does that have to do with atheist bus ads?, if that's the way it has to be. no, it doesn't. I have had it too good in America being safe and protected somehow i wasn't expecting quite this level of crazy, even from rapture ready., but if that's the way it comes down, then so be it satan. wtf?!You are the loser THE EVIL ONE!!!!!!! used my "wtf" too soon. You are the fool and you are being sent to the bottomless pit. Do you know why I think it's called the bottomless pit??????? i suspect because it's a pit and it has no bottom? Because I believe hell is in the center of earth and GOD is going to reverse the spinning of it from top to bottom. By the time it gets to the bottom it reverses again . O_o

little bug apparently understood that: Ron, if I didn't know any better I'd swear you were my twin!!! RIGHT ON!! DITTOES!!! You took the words out of my mouth, Brother!!! not only did she understand that, she listens to Rush Limbaugh. of course.

jc513 drags out the old "atheists hate god too much not to believe in him" canard. sigh.: Atheists sure put alot of money and effort to hate something they don't believe exist. for the last fucking time: we don't hate god, we don't believe in god, and yes, we'd like to be as open about our lack of belief as you are about your belief. go figure.

christina disparages "logic": Honestly? I think they're driven by fear, a fear they'll never admit to. please, continue. They can't disprove the Lord or His Word or His existance you can't prove it, either. but they're too "logical" i can't figure out these sarcastiquotes. does she think that not believing in something without proof is illogical? or does she think logic is something that doesn't exist? do you suppose she even knows what logic is? to believe what is right in front of their eyes if it were right in front of my eyes, like, say, my computer, i would believe in it. ergo . . . so instead they push and push to debate the truth or maybe we'd just like to have to stop hiding in the internet. it'd be really neat to be as open as an atheist as my christian coworkers about their beliefs....maybe silently they're hoping something will be proven that they can't deny sorry, no, but really, I think they're scared of spiders, scared of not knowing for sure no, that doesn't bother me at all. i don't have your need for absolute truth and certainty, darling., scared that we just might be right! nope. I don't feel angry towards them, I feel sorry for them funny, i often feel that way about fundys. hm.

angelka71 totally agrees with christina: Fear and...I just can't help but believe...conviction! I think somewhere, deep down they DO know the truth...yet they love the darkness more than the light...and you know what they say about misery loving company which is why they're out on this mission to attract more "followers." you got me, angelka. i'm not an atheist, i'm a satan worshipper. yeesh.

Kate hasn't been talking to any atheists I know. One pattern I've noticed when talking to an atheist is most have never read the bible. That's what frustrates me the most. They judge and criticize Christians and our belief without any knowledge or understanding. When I begin to explain a few things, they cut me off and call me crazy. Most just don't want to hear it. really, kate? most atheists in the US grew up christian, and most of us have read the bible many, many times. in fact, a lot of atheists became atheists because they read the bible.

we'll end with new moderator Tres Wright, who just has to outoffend all the regular posters: Atheism is a relgion just like many other apostate religions. lack of belief is not a religion. get over it. Some religions worship God, some worship gods, some worship men, atheism is worship of self. no, it's not. it's a lack of belief in god. lack of belief in god =/= worship of self. (i think tres believes that all humans have to worship something, therefore, since atheists aren't worshipping god, they must be worshipping something, and the only thing left is themselves.) Atheism is no doubt Satan's favorite really? you'd think all those untrue varieties of christianity would be satan's favorite. think about it, all those people thinking they're worshipping jesus the right way, assuming they're doing right and going to heaven, but they're really serving evil. it would be genius. as people have a innate desire to worship themselves anyway i really wonder about these people and it's a great way to divert attention from the Truth. I truly believe that Satan is controlling the atheist movement well, he does send regular memos, but trying to get atheists to agree on anything is like trying to herd cats. and their ad campaigns to further his agenda. I don't know if anyone else has noticed it, but this is a blatantly stronger message than the previous bus campaign (that one said "There's probably no God, so quit worrying and enjoy your life.") i fail to see how "in the beginning man created god" is much different from "there's probably no god". They've gone from leaving room for doubt that there may be a God to stating that God is a figment of man's imagination. well, we're clearly working for satan, then. wtf is the difference, really? I think we can expect this campaign to continue to get uglier as time goes on. yes, atheists expressing their point of view in public is just the most horrible thing ever, isn't it? asshat.

*I am old enough to remember an internet before emoticons- and pictures. Yes, children, there was an internet without pictures. Remind me to tell of the world before cell phones sometime.

A Little Bit More About Me

sin, think, religion, atheism, atheist, snark, jesus, god, satan, bible, humor,

The hubby noted once about me that I don't have a sense of humor so much as I have a sense of the ridiculous.

He was right. Don't bother taking me to see a comedy, I probably won't find it funny. Or I'll laugh in all the wrong places. Monty Python? Hilarious. Adam Sandler? Not so much*.

This actually does relate to atheism, or at least to areligionism. You see, I better be right about the fundys being wrong, because if they're right, I'm screwed. I can't help but commit thoughtsins**. I can't help picturing Jesus in a gay bar. I'm not trying to say that I think Jesus was gay, I just can't not find the awesome inappropriateness of that funny.

I've tried to be normal. I tried and tried and tried. (Ask anyone I went to elementary/middle/high school with. I tried- and I failed.) I can't help thinking the way I do. I've learned to keep it from flying out of my mouth, but the thoughts remain.

This whole issue used to frighten me as a child. (We were rather fundy for Catholics.) I was honestly convinced that both God and Satan could hear my every thought. Every single one. Obviously, as a young child I wasn't troubled with lustful thoughts, but any time I wanted something I wasn't supposed to have, or wondered if Jesus had to defecate (they never talk about those things in the bible), or I got mad at someone, I was instantly seized with the tremendous fear that god hated me and satan was coming for me.

This is not a nice thing to do to children. It isn't healthy for adults, either. It was bad enough being the sort of awkward child that simply cannot fit in, ever, but to be convinced that every thought was an express ticket to the fiery torments of hell was adding injury to injury. Jesus loves you- except for those wicked, wicked thoughts you can't help having!

So, yeah, I'm going to be snarky. I'm going to picture Jesus in a gay bar. I'm going to keep fantasizing about [censored], and [censored verb] [censored for your own piece of mind] on a grand piano.

*Don't bother flaming me on this issue. You either find something funny or you don't.

**Thoughtsin is a popular issue with fundamentalists. For example, from Ray Comfort's blog: Most of us would sin ten times as much as that, with our lustful, selfish, self-righteous, unthankful, and greedy thoughts . . .