It Was Me! I Was the Turkey All Along!*

I would like to start the week off by saying that I am not responsible for your behavior. No, I don't live in a vacuum, and neither do you, but I am really getting sick of being held responsible, as the proud owner of two X chromosomes, for the behavior of every owner of an X and a Y.



Oh, yeah, the cranky pants are back on, baby!



Did you know it's my fault that men are no longer gentlemen and armless women wait forever in cars yearning to be free? Really, it is. And your fault, too, if you are a doubleXer. (XYers are responsible for nothing, apparently.)

A gentleman was a man who took care to serve and protect those weaker than
him – either physically, mentally, or financially – a man who showed respect and
consideration for others both by courteous manners and good grooming. It is for
this man, or should I say, his modern day equivalent, that I am an advocate
today. The gentleman has all but disappeared in our day, and it is high time we
brought him back.

For decades gentlemanly behavior has experienced decline. Not only are men
becoming less apt to offer service, but ladies are much more likely to refuse
it. A man gives up when his assistance is consistently shunned and so does the
poor lady left sitting in the car waiting for a gentleman to open the
door.

Good grooming? Is the writer offended by modern fashions or something, because I don't really run into a lot of dirty, smelly men on a daily basis.



I am fully well capable of opening doors, even car doors, myself. I even- gasp!- open doors for others. I have these things, called arms**, and attached to these arms are hands, and with them I can do things like open doors and type. In fact, women can also use these fabulous appendages to become doctors and lawyers and soldiers. I know, it's totally amazing!



Also, can this asshat really not figure out why women would be hesitant to accept help from a strange man? Really? I don't even watch the news because it's always filled with stories about women being abducted, raped and killed. I know that most rapes and murders (of women) are committed by men the women knew, but still, it makes you a little nervous around strangers. (Being a woman 101: Is that man going to rape me? What about that man? He looks a little suspicious. That one looks nice, which is probably a front for his rapish intent. Seriously, we think these things.)

The answer, unfortunately, is that we all contain within ourselves a deeply
entrenched root of self-centeredness. Self-centeredness is the antithesis of
what makes a man a gentleman. And until it is overcome, consistency in
gentlemanly behavior is impossible.

While self-centeredness might not cause you to consciously choose not to
open a door, it will instead keep you from even noticing that the door needs to
be opened! Self-centeredness blinds you to the standing female and the woman
burdened with her heavy boxes because if your mind is absorbed with how to make
yourself more comfortable, how to satisfy your own needs, it cannot at the same
time be focused on serving others.

I fail to see how this is peculiar to men. What about any woman that has failed to open a door for a man laden with boxes? Why am I not held to the same standard as the guys? Oh, right, my useless female arms. They don't really do anything.

Now, I appeal to the ladies, and especially to my sisters in Christ. If you
don’t embrace your role as the recipient of our consideration we cannot act
effectively as the gentlemen. You can show your care and serve your brothers by
making it possible for us to become the kind of men God wants us to be.

That's my role: the recipient of consideration. I am not the giver of consideration or the agent of my change, the owner of my own destiny, I am the recipient of random men's consideration. And if I choose to abandon this helpless role, I'm harming every man I come across. Damn these arms that work! And pity the sad, sad men degrading into dirty, smelly ungentlemens because of my cruel insistence upon opening doors.

Give us opportunities to do the right thing. We may need subtle hints such as,
“Will you open the door for me please?” You know we need to be reminded
sometimes. And when you can see us trying, please encourage us and allow us to
serve you. If our actions are made from a servants-heart don’t take it as
implying that we don’t think you can open the door or carry the box. You may not
need our help, but we need to help. Please don’t take your side of this process
lightly, your response is just as important, as our initiative.

"Will you open the door for me, please" is not a subtle hint. (Unless the man in question is a Jägermonster, and then you should count yourself lucky nothing's on fire and be aware that there is no horse.) Allow you to serve me? How about allow you to keep me in my place as the recipient of door opening rather than a person fully capable of opening my own damn doors, thankyouverymuch. I don't care what you need, okay? Not my problem. You need to serve people? Join Habitat for Humanity or something. Leave me out of it.

Men and women have unique responsibilities. Both are necessary and both are
sorely lacking in our society today. We live in a society where chivalry has all
but died, where the common man has become the common person, and any differences
in gender roles are downplayed. Yet among God’s people I will say that
gentlemanly behavior should not be dead, that differences in roles are not
discriminatory but complementary; conveying value and purpose for both man and
woman.

Among God’s people we must understand that the woman is called to be supportive of godly manhood and her role is integral to the process by which men fulfill their responsibilities as men. Gentlemanly behavior is a training ground of Christian character for both men and women.

No, no, no. Just because you say something doesn't make it true. Differences in roles are discriminatory in the same way that separate but equal was discriminatory. In my mother's generation, women were nurses, secretaries or teachers. Those were the careers acceptable for women. End of story. My mother wanted to be an archeologist, she ended up a teacher. That happened to millions of women. You may say that all you want to do is open a door for me, but what you really want to do is close all the doors for all the women and quite frankly, you can go fuck yourself.















*Nick recently started occasional blocks of Invader Zim. GIR is my hero.



**Actually, there is this woman without arms who not only opens doors and drives a car, but changes her baby's diapers and puts on mascara. So women don't even need arms to open doors.



h/t to debrand at freejinger.