Wednesday, October 7, 2009

There'll Be Polygamy in the Streets

gay, marriage, traditional, polygamy, mormon, lds, fundamentalist,
About every other post from a "traditional marriage" blogger invokes the scare tactic of polygamy, and it didn't strike me why until last night, while I was doing the dishes. My reaction to this scare tactic has always been "and? how many people even want to do that, anyway?"

Then it hit me. A lot of the most "traditional marriage" bloggers are mormon, and like all religions, the LDS has skeletons in its closets and embarassing family members that show up at the most inconvenient of times. LDS's biggest skeleton is the polygamy practiced by the religion's founders, and still practiced today by fundamentalist splinter groups*.

I think the mormons fear that as soon as same sex marriage becomes legal nationwide, their spiritual cousins will come crawling out of the woodwork to demand that polygamy be made legal, which would be quite an embarrassing scene, indeed. It's like holding a family reunion, planning for a year to make everything perfect, and then Uncle Norman shows up, punches Grandpa Fred, pukes in the potato salad and passes out. Although in this particular analogy, Uncle Norman shows up with his 6 wives, the youngest his 14-year-old niece/cousin/half-sister.

I suggest that the next time a "traditional marriage" blogger invokes polygamy as a natural consequence of same sex marriage, you should ask them why they think that, and then end with "oh, yeah, mormons were into that at the beginning. I get it."

*LDS does not currently support polygamy, and has not for quite some time. By no means am I suggesting that mainstream mormons engage in polygamy, nor are they responsible for the abuses of fundamentalist splinter groups.


  1. My problem is why would polygamy be a problem? Not my sort of thing, one wife is plenty, but why would I care if my neighbor Joe wants two wives or My neighbor Sara wants two husbands. For that matter why shouldn't Joe have two husbands. The point is who cares? Why should it be anyones business. Admittedly there would be some complicated issues with inheritence, divorce, and custody, b ut the convenience of buerocrats shouldn't be the basis for personal liberty.

    The best solution would be for government to stop sanctioning or licensing marriage at all. Let it be a private ceremony consistent with the participants beliefs or tastes. The rest can be arranged through contracts and powers of attorney. Just like gay people have to do anyway.

  2. the interesting bits of the historical minutia of the LDS church and etc -

    they were, at one point, on "unclaimed" land (i mean, back then us injuns didn't count, except when Joseph Smith converted 'em). they wanted to be their own country. and the US invaded and said *NO!*

    the compromise of statehood came about, with dropping the polygomy to get statehood, because the US-SCourt made a "decision" on polygamy - part of the statement was something along the lines of "what's next? we allow polygamy, will men want to marry their business parters? their horses or dogs? and if we call it a protected "religious practice", what is next - sacrificing animals, or even people? NOPOLYGAMYYOU LOSE

    so the church "officially" banned polygamy. it isn't only the fundy sects that ignore that bad...

  3. also - seond the Ryk for President!

    after i take over the world in PFs name, i'm sure we can install Ryk in the White House. he HAs ti be better than anything else we've had in the past, oh, 50 years at lesat

  4. I humbly accept the nomination for the Presidency and announce that I wil not be seeking Sarah Palin as my running mate.

    Seriously how hard would it be to be the best President in fifty years. Essentially respect individual liberty and govern based on the Constitution instead of ideology, opinion poles, or personal prejudices.

  5. I suppose learning how to spell
    "Poll" would also help with the campaign.

  6. Well, if polygamy is made legal, it's only a matter of time before people start marrying dogs. On the other hand, maybe God's happier if you marry your dog than if you just live in sin.


Comments are for you guys, not for me. Say what you will. Don't feel compelled to stay on topic, I enjoy it when comments enter Tangentville or veer off into Non Sequitur Town. Just keep it polite, okay?

I am attempting to use blogger's new comment spam feature. If you don't immediately see your comment, it is being held in spam, I will get it out next time I check the filter. Unless you are Dennis Markuze, in which case you're never seeing your comment.

Creative Commons License
Forever in Hell by Personal Failure is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at