Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Some mornings, if I happen to wake up early enough, which isn't that often, I stop by Dunkin Donuts (if there is a Heaven, it involves a number of DD franchises) before waiting at the bus stop. I gotta tell you, I have seen some weird, rude and just plain stupid behavior at the DD these past few weeks. Apparently, we need to clear some things up about DD etiquette.

1. I don't know about DDs where you live, but where I live the employees make waitress wages- around $2.13 an hour. A lot less than minimum wage. That makes putting something in the tip jar necessary, not optional. (Seriously, how badly can you screw up service at a DD? Even the DD Anarchist deserves a quarter.) Let me put it to you this way. A medium regular coffee is $1.67, however, I just assume it costs $2.50. I don't go into a DD to buy a medium coffee unless I have at least $2.50 on me. There is a reason they're nicer to me than to you. I tip.

2. There is a menu on the wall behind the counter. It comes complete with pictures and a list of everything you can buy at a DD. So, if you're standing in line for 5 minutes, you have no fucking excuse for not knowing what you want when it's your turn. Seriously, people act like they just now realized they are in a DD, as if they thought they might have been at an auto parts store or something.

3. Again, there is the menu. If it's not on the menu, they don't sell it. Stop asking for random things not on the menu. Seriously, some guy the other day asked for oatmeal. Not on the menu. One woman held up the line for 5 minutes arguing about something DD used to have at some point in the past (maybe). They don't have it now, move on! (I sympathize if they are out of what you wanted, but if you wanted Starbucks [they do sell oatmeal], go to Starbucks.)

4. The doughnut order. There is a wall of doughnuts on display for all the world to see right in front of you. Decide what you want while you're waiting. Please do not waste everyone's time trying to find the magical combination of 12 doughnuts that will release the apocalypse. Ummmm . . . glazed . . . . ummmmm, jelly . . . . ummmm, do you have any with agave syrup? no, then, ummm . . . how many do I have left? I had to leave without my coffee yesterday because some woman was doing that with three. dozen. doughnuts.

5. Please have your method of payment ready. Is anyone surprised that at some point you will be asked to pay for your food? Do they live in some sort of world where everything is free and they've never heard of money? That's certainly how some people act.

Seriously, people. Dunkiquette. Keep it in mind.


  1. I'm not sure, but it might well be that the closest DD to me is in Warren, Pennsylvania. Maybe I'll check it out someday.

  2. Wait. DD employees get paid wait staff wages? That's something I never knew. Now I feel bad.

    Not that I went to DD that often, since I don't eat donuts and I've kinda given up on Dunkacchino due to the sugar. But, still, I rarely tipped.

  3. I hate people that hold up line, because they can't decide what they wanted until they get to the register. This is not just at DD but at every fast food or counter order place. The menu is always clearly visible and they have had plenty of time to look at it.

    If I go into a place and don't know what I want, I don't get in line yet. It is that simple. Stop being dickweeds people.

    I also didn't know DD employees get wait staff wages. I knew Sonic workers do. There are not a lot of DDs around here though.

  4. I only know about the pay because I had a friend who worked there, briefly. I always tipped because most people do, but now I tip more.

  5. Bah. Tim Hortons can kick Dunkin Donuts’ ass any day. (And despite what Uzza* will say, yes, there are Tim Hortons in the U.S.. So, there.)

    On a serious note … $2.13 an hour?! Christ, minimum wage over here just reached $9.00/hour. Seriously, I could probably start at a Dunkin Donuts around here with more than four times the salary, despite having never worked before.

    Completely asinine.

    * Inside joke to a comment she left on my blog. She knows. Oh, she knows.

  6. Dunkiquette: it's not just for donuts.

    Seriously, people. Be kind to your servers.

  7. i don't like TimHorton - i just don't. which SUCKS, cuz there's ONE DD in CBus, and 40 TimHos....

  8. are you sure the wage is national? Is there something unique about your dunkin donuts? Because, I can tell you at mine down here in Greensboro most do not tip. At least most that I have seen. I tip sometimes...if I have a dollar on me. But mostly I am paying with a card, and they do not give me a receipt with an option to put a tip on there. So if it is true that your DD pays server has to be unique to yours.

  9. Hey I just said I'd never heard a Horton, not that there weren't any. I like DD a lot less if they don't pay their help, but I don't wanna get in teh donut wars

  10. Your rant just brought this to immediately to mind for me:

  11. I'm not sure, but it might well be that the closest DD to me is in Warren, Pennsylvania. Maybe I'll check it out someday.

    That's not quite right. There are several in Berlin. But I'm sure they get the leftover from Warren, Pennsylvania. At least they taste as if they are at least three weeks old.

  12. Shows how much I get out. A quick googling showed that Dunkin' Donuts is also coming to Vienna soon. But I already have enough fat and sugar in my diet.


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